Anandi in Ira and Sanchi's Point of View (FACTUALS VS ACTUALS)

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

FACTUALS VS ACTUALS

Dear Readers,

I know all of you including me love to love someone like Anandi as we have seen her struggle since childhood and relate ourselves to her in some way or the other. However let's try to think in terms of Ira and Sanchi.

People again don't get me wrong, I am just trying to analyse their point of view on Anandi which is not wrong totally.

Shivraj Sekhar, the Sekhar clan is highly educated, wide travelled, exposed to different cultures, an IAS officer, extremely handsome, highly praised for his abilities at work, most handsome bachelor of the country. If any of us have such a son or brother we would have been proud as hell.

He married a village belle with a poor back ground, a divorcee, education(may be distant education) which might not be equivalent to people in Sekhar's family standard. On the top of everything she considers her previous marital home as her mayka and her ex-husband as her WHAT!!?? Brother? Friend?

Well no one of us can define as no one has similar condition as her.

Shivraj fell for Anandi due to her abilities, her intelligence, hardwork, efficiency, compassion and many more virtues.

Please bear in mind they are virtues, not qualifications.

I am asking this question to you people. How many of you would like to have a daughter-in-law with such background for your Shiv-like son or brother?

Ira tried to be good. She accepted Anandi from very first day; however her character is weak. She fell prey to what Sanchi said or what the society and people like Urmi devi claim regarding Anandi. She is not completely evil, that's what I would say.

As per Sanchi; she is the exact opposite to Anandi. She is convent educated, posh, has a much much superior back ground, she is intelligent and very well-educated. Though they have not specified this explicitly, I believe she studying in IIM Udaipur as an MBA student. So for her people like Anandi and Ganga are nothing. She has the ultimate qualification, however no real virtue or attitude.

So is this a war between factuals vs actuals?

Let me tell you readers that there are many people in our history who had no such bright background or qualification, but still were outstanding at later part of their lives.

1. Gandhi, Einstein and Newton were average students in school

2. Rabindra Nath Tagore never went to any school for education

3. The great mathematician Shri Ramanujan failed many times in exams

4. Thomas Edison, who invented electricity failed enormous times before he finally succeeded in his endeavour

Your thoughts.

Edited by Debbiee - 12 years ago

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Muktchand

@Muktchand

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Ira is weak...not strong as Meenu 😛

when BV introduce Ira Meenu its clearly seen difference of ladies

in fact when Shiv reveal about A's past to them

Ira is one said how come family dump their own blood for someone else

that was indication that in future when Ira's own blood Q will comes she took blind stand

while Meenu's concern over A being Divorcee is more logical but when Meenu cleared her mind she stand with A like rock just like Shiv

about Sanchi No Comments 😆

but having said this person like Sanhci do exist in real world too

Edited by blushing - 12 years ago

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: blushing
Ira is weak...not strong as Meenu 😛

when BV introduce Ira Meenu its clearly seen difference of ladies

in fact when Shiv reveal about A's past to them

Ira is one said how come family dump their own blood for someone else

that was indication that in future when Ira's own blood Q will comes she took blind stand

while Meenu's concern over A being Divorcee is more logical but when Meenu cleared her mind she stand with A like rock just like Shiv

about Sanchi No Comments 😆

but having said this person like Sanhci do exist in real world too

Thanks blushing. Yes from day one even when nobody liked Choti Maa, I felt the lady has strong sense of reasoning than Ira. Usually the people who accept things easily are also easy to mould as well. She took time to analyze Anandi before accepting her completely.

The same thing happened between Shiv and Anandi. Shiv found her attractive initially. However he went ahead after knowing her virtues which matched his dream partner.

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BeingMahiway

@maahi11

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Debbiee

The same thing happened between Shiv and Anandi. Shiv found her attractive initially. However he went ahead after knowing her virtues which matched his dream partner.

ture debbie day 1 nobody like CM but i used to like her den also to be frank... n hads doubts about Ira but still I say Ira have one quality wic very less ppl have...

CM tuk tme to accept Anandi coz being diff in situation still dey had similarities... thugh CM is a widow n anandi was lft her hubby but both dint had husbands... so CM excatly knew how difficult it is for a gurl to forget her husband n muv a head... wen she was asked to do so she refused to do it... n nt to forget that anandi also refused but we knw efforts of DS made anandi remarried...

thugh latter i felt she dint remarried coz she promised her dieing mother but for herself... wic was made clr wen she voiced her choice wen shiv called off the marraige... that day made CM clr dat anandi have moved on in life n she accepted anandi whole heartedly...

the main reason for not accpeting anandi was she had doubts whether anandi will ever forget her past n live a happily with Shiv...

cuming to Ira see as mother she luvs her kids blindly so wen shiv said he wanna marry anandi she said yes for his happiness... without gving a thught... yy so... coz she luvs her kids very much n to fulfill dere demands n wishes is d most imp priority of her life...

the quality wic Ira have is To apologise for her mistake... it seems small yet very less ppl have such quality to accept dere mistake n apologise for same... after she is d MIL n mother but still she apologises dat to infront of everyone...

we can put forword she alwz does dat... so yy does she doent belive her DIL... bt everytme reason r diff... she got angry wen she got to knw shiv n anandi dint consumanted dere marraige ny mother will be afterall in marraige we accept or not but it is a very imp part... so she rushed to Jaitsar... but after knwing the truth she accepted her mistake n aplogised not only to shiv but also to sumitra...

during UD fiascco ny mom would react in dat way wen she gets to knw the lady who bad mouthed for her son n d same person married her daughter to her son... she apologised to anandi for being rude to her n sayng her being a childbride n divorcee...

n latter in saachi's dress issue wen she came to knw saachi lied she again apologised anandi... wenver she did wrong she apoligised wic person does dat... we bash her tell her she cares of her daughter n nt DIL bt every mother does care for her daughter today if sumitra cant take ny1 compaing anandi to ganga coz she is her mother simple n with years dis has happened...

beleive or not but anandi is in true sence of is d daughter of singh the only thng i alwz take her as the adopted daughter of singh's...

reagarding ur original post debbie just one line miya biwi razi tho kya karega kazi... in marriage if two families r connected n becum one its only coz of two ppl guy n d gurl who wish to marry... so if tomorrow my brother wanna marry a gurl seeing her qaulities n nt her past n i trust my brother decison den i will trust his dis decision also...

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BeingMahiway

@maahi11

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: maahi11

ture debbie day 1 nobody like CM but i used to like her den also to be frank... n hads doubts about Ira but still I say Ira have one quality wic very less ppl have...

CM tuk tme to accept Anandi coz being diff in situation still dey had similarities... thugh CM is a widow n anandi was lft her hubby but both dint had husbands... so CM excatly knew how difficult it is for a gurl to forget her husband n muv a head... wen she was asked to do so she refused to do it... n nt to forget that anandi also refused but we knw efforts of DS made anandi remarried...

thugh latter i felt she dint remarried coz she promised her dieing mother but for herself... wic was made clr wen she voiced her choice wen shiv called off the marraige... that day made CM clr dat anandi have moved on in life n she accepted anandi whole heartedly...

the main reason for not accpeting anandi was she had doubts whether anandi will ever forget her past n live a happily with Shiv...

cuming to Ira see as mother she luvs her kids blindly so wen shiv said he wanna marry anandi she said yes for his happiness... without gving a thught... yy so... coz she luvs her kids very much n to fulfill dere demands n wishes is d most imp priority of her life...

the quality wic Ira have is To apologise for her mistake... it seems small yet very less ppl have such quality to accept dere mistake n apologise for same... after she is d MIL n mother but still she apologises dat to infront of everyone...

we can put forword she alwz does dat... so yy does she doent belive her DIL... bt everytme reason r diff... she got angry wen she got to knw shiv n anandi dint consumanted dere marraige ny mother will be afterall in marraige we accept or not but it is a very imp part... so she rushed to Jaitsar... but after knwing the truth she accepted her mistake n aplogised not only to shiv but also to sumitra...

during UD fiascco ny mom would react in dat way wen she gets to knw the lady who bad mouthed for her son n d same person married her daughter to her son... she apologised to anandi for being rude to her n sayng her being a childbride n divorcee...

n latter in saachi's dress issue wen she came to knw saachi lied she again apologised anandi... wenver she did wrong she apoligised wic person does dat... we bash her tell her she cares of her daughter n nt DIL bt every mother does care for her daughter today if sumitra cant take ny1 compaing anandi to ganga coz she is her mother simple n with years dis has happened...

beleive or not but anandi is in true sence of is d daughter of singh the only thng i alwz take her as the adopted daughter of singh's...

reagarding ur original post debbie just one line miya biwi razi tho kya karega kazi... in marriage if two families r connected n becum one its only coz of two ppl guy n d gurl who wish to marry... so if tomorrow my brother wanna marry a gurl seeing her qaulities n nt her past n i trust my brother decison den i will trust his dis decision also...

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brick_red

@brick_red

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

Every family has certain expectation about the future spouse of their son/daughter. Shekhars agreed to Shiv-Anandi marriage very quickly. They did not internally discuss the matter before reaching the decision. They accepted the proposal right after meeting Singhs. Alok,Daddu,CM and Ira did not have any apprehension regarding Anandi's qualification or rural background. (CM had worries about Anandi's readiness to move onto second marriage). What made the Shekhars accept the proposal so easily?? Anandi was unique in their eyes because Anandi was still with her in-laws after her divorce and the family was fully supporting her. Shekhars considered that as the best character certificate for their future DIL. What does that imply? Probably Shekhars wanted a family girl. They wanted a bride who values relationships, who stands with the family through thick and thin, who bonds with the family and who wins the heart of everybody in the family. They were confident that Anandi would take care of the family. In the early days of marriage itself, Shekhars expressed hopes that Anandi would influence Sanchi in a positive way. They didn't ask Anandi to learn some modern stuff from Sanchi ! They wanted Sanchi to change, not Anandi. I think Shekhars' expectations were kind of, the DIL should keep the family together, bear with Sanchi and if possible guide her to be good, keep Shiv happy and observe family traditions. They did not seem to have the expectation that their bride should be a pass out from a top institute and bride's family should have high connections or the marriage should strengthen their business interest or anything like that.

I don't think Anandi's qualifications or lack of it caused Sanchi's anger. Sanchi has the habit of looking down at people. She is very arrogant. She easily picks on fights. Even Mannu or Nandu or waiters could make Sanchi irritated. So anybody Shiv married would have faced Sanchi's anger in one way or the other. So the problem is with Sanchi's attitude. To trap J, Sanchi played suicide drama. She did not think for a moment, the emotional trauma her family had to undergo. Her want of revenge is more than her love for her family. Sameway, when Sanchi enacted the skit during ANSH sangeeth, Sanchi wanted to make fun of DS and Anandi, but she failed to understand the shame it caused to her own family(Daddu and Shiv apologised). If Sanchi doesn't truly value her own blood relations how would she love her brother's wife??

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

Firstly I don't think Sanchi's from IIM or something. There are many institutes mushrooming that give MBA even in paid seats. Sanchi's education seems like a joke to me. Why wouldn't a person focus on her studies and instead waste time in gossip, parties or kitchen politics?

Now main point.

I think Shekhars agreed for this proposal only because they loved Shiv. And their laadla Shiv loved Anandi. Things like her being a Sarpanch, social worker, survivor, good in housework etc. were only reasons to praise her on surface level. They rationalised the divorcee thing thinking if in laws have kept her then it must not be her fault and she must be great.

They clearly didn't expect a girl like Anandi as their DIL. But their behaviour shows they are not assertive and easily give in to kids' wishes without thinking of long term consequences.

At least Sanchi was open enough to voice even small reasons to feel peeved with having Anandi in their family. CM's reasons were more valid because she is yet to forget her husband even at this age.

I believe there's nothing wrong in having honest discussions about one's expectations in a family. Every small and big reason should be discussed and considered otherwise problems occur after marriage.

Problem is that Shekhars needed to be strong and honest in the way they approached Shiv about matters related to his life partner. They should've made it clear what they felt and also emphasised that adjustment and compromises might be difficult to make - for them.

And if they had issues with Anandi considering ex in laws as maayka then they should have openly raised this earlier than pretend to be okay or tolerant back then and burst out later.

Shekhars weren't communicative. They were just fulfilling kid's wishes.

It's important to make it clear what's problematic for you. And leave other person to think what he wants - go ahead with his decision or reconsider it? Or leave family and live like nuclear family on his own after marriage?

It was Shiv's responsibility to think of long term issues too. If he was going to live with family, then he needed to think whether family would indeed accept Anandi or not. Merely believing in Anandi's qualities and hoping she'd handle everything was short-sighted approach.

I assume Ashima was a family girl too which is why Shiv's family liked her and thought of her name when Shiv expressed desire to get married. The way she interacted with Singhs showed she was a loving girl.

Honestly every family has their own expectations. A family like Singhs would always pass off girls like Ashi as lapundari or have some issue with career oriented and outspoken girls like Gauri. They'd rather prefer an adequately educated yet mostly rural and homely girl for their family who stands, listens, stays quiet unless matter is serious and concerns family (not herself alone). Whereas an urban family would prefer urban one and would say "What's the need to do this?" if girl stands, doesn't eat till they have eaten, keeps adjusting her pallu etc.

There should be something common. And if only one person finds something common (ie the boy) while others don't then don't feel they'll start being okay soon.

Nobody's okay. They either detach or get used to each other or create problem when they get opportunity.

Here Singhs were also foolish. They only saw Shiv. They should have considered family also and reconsidered whether Anandi could fit in and be happy or not. Instead they just thought Shiv would handle it or Anandi herself would win over everyone. Foolish and sudden atonement of guilt!

What the hell is "sambhal lenge" or "dil jeet lenge"? It takes ages to do this!

Anandi's whole childhood and teenage were gone in trying to win over DS. Now what? Spend remaining time in winning over problematic people in Shekhar family?

Winning over or adjustments are a sham. As far as possible people should be clear.

Frankly I think people should not hope for family support. Each has their own choice. Better if one keeps self busy in some work or engagement of one's own than mull over what other is doing (unless it's a crime). All the time what we do is make issues of all things - why a person dresses the way he does, his past, his habits or preferences...making an issue of even whether one likes coffee and they like tea! Empty minds, devil's workshops! 🤢

I might like stories on TV or films. But personally I wouldn't like to have such characters in my life even as friends.

I know we praise people who fought atrocities and survived in life or whatever but still when people look for family or someone to connect with they generally choose who they identify with and who suits their comfort zone. If even with such people we often have issues then imagine what effort it takes to adjust with someone who is out of our zone!

I wouldn't have hated Shekhars if they had voiced opinion on Anandi before marriage. I didn't mind Sanchi's first outburst. But problem is when you pretend to be okay and give hopes to others only to reveal your true nature later and threaten to break off or keep lamenting why this alliance happened.

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Anandi in Ira and Sanchi's Point of View (FACTUALS VS ACTUALS)

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