AsYa FF: Destiny Comes Calling *CH 20* 11/11/13 Pg 134 - Page 29

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GoodGoneWrong thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: me2you

Hey Rivs!!!


Guess what, I just read all the parts in one go and I like it 😃 Thanks...
Characterization, dialogues, the pace of the story is all good. But???😕
I have more to say, but will do that by PM. So please do check it. OH...waiting ekdum besabar hokar

Keep up the good work 👍🏼and looking forward to read more 😊Like I said, I am trying to write but not keeping good..

GoodGoneWrong thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Morning people,

Thank you all for all the likes and comments. I have tried to answer the questions and concerns to your posts...so please do take a look at my responses to your comments.

About Chaand Bi - To tell you the truth, this was the beginning of my FF. I had read a book which had a character like this and I used it to build my story. No Chaand Bi is not a lift of, but just the idea is. More about her will be revealed in the future.

I am still looking for a sangeet song recommendation - remember Zoya is dancing and Asad does not know...so please help...

About the updates - I have been ill these last few days so please excuse this update. I made it all dialogues, its easier for me to go this way. Also, a lot is happening on the home front in the next couple weeks, so please excuse if updates are far and few.

XXX

Chapter 10: A match for Asad

The giggle had brought Chaand Bi's attention on Zoya.

"Masha Allah Khala, kitni khoobsurat hain yeh mohtarma. Ekdum chaand sa chehra hain inka aur Kohinoor jaisi khoobsurti. Kahin aapne chupke chupke Asad miyah ka nikaah to tay nahi kar liya? [She is so beautiful. Her face as radiant as the moon and her beauty just like the Kohinoor. Did you get Asad engaged without letting anyone know?]" Chaand bi addressed Dilshaad, but her eyes still on Zoya

"What non-sense?" two voices were heard at the same time.

"Nahi nahi Chaand. Aisi koi baat nahi. Yeh to mere chachere bhaijaan Anwar ki beti hain. Bas isi haftein aayi hain Amrica se. Isi ke liyeh to humein kapadein kharidne hain. [Nothing of that sort. She is my cousin Anwar's daughter and is visiting from USA. I called you here to buy outfits for her.]" Dilshaad explained.

Asad who had just entered the house was shocked to hear Chaand bi exclaim than he was to marry Ms. Farooqui. He was even more surprised when both of them happened to respond exactly the same thing at the same time.

Zoya turned around towards the door to look at him when she had heard his voice, only to find him staring back at her.

{Maula mere Maula Mere...}

"Asad? Beta tum toh aaj late aane wale the na? [Asad, you were to be late today, right?]" Dilshaad's voice broke the eye-lock and brought them back to the present.

"Ji Ammi. Who actually...main ek jaroori file bhool gaya tha ghar pe. [Yes Ammi, I had forgotten an important file at home.] I needed it for my next meeting so I just came to get it. Lekin ab soch raha hoon meeting ghar se hi attend kar loonga. [Now I am thinking I will just attend it from home.]" Asad spoke, his gaze fleeting between Dilshaad to Chaand.

"Koi baat nahin. [No worries.] You are free to join us when you are free." Turning back to Chaand, Dilshaad addressed her. "Haan to main yeh keh rahi thi, ki humein Zoya ke liye kuch kapde lene hain. Agle hafte Salma ka nikah hain na. [Yeah so I was saying that we need to purchase some clothes for Zoya since it is Salma's wedding next week.]"

"Arrey Khala, 2-3 din mein kahan se naye designs ready honge? Jo ready hain wohi dikhaungi. Alteration karva lenge agar jaroorat lagi to. [Aunt, 2-3 days is not enough time for me to get you new designs. Buy what I have ready, I will alter as needed.]" saying so, Chaand turned to her assitants and asked her to show some of the outfits.

The three ladies took their own sweet time to go through each outfit. Zoya chose some festive outfits and a few casuals. After all, if she was to stay in India for some time, she will need them, she thought. She tried some of them to give Chaand a better idea about the fittings, but most of them fit her just fine.

She glanced at the sarees and eyed them longingly, but then given her past experience, moved away from them. Asad had also stepped out by now and joined them. He sat by his mother and observed the proceedings.

"That's it Phoopi. I think I have what I need." She said with a triumphant smile.

"Excellent" Dilshaad said happy with the choices she had made.

"Acha Asad, aaj subah tum bata rahe the na ki kal Rukhsaar aa rahi hain nikah par. To kyon na hum uske liye bhi kuch tohfa le le? [Asad,you mentioned this morning that Rukhsaar is arriving tomorrow morning to attend the wedding functions. Why don't we purchase something for her too?]" Dilshaad was now conversing with Asad, while Zoya was busy looking at all the accessories she could choose for her outfits.

"Jo aapko theek lage Ammi. [As you deem fit Ammi]"

"Main nahi baba, [Not me,]" rolling her eyes"You choose."

"Ammi, mujhe in sab cheezon ki kuch samajh nahi hai. App ko jo theek lage aap le lein. [I don't understand such things. You choose what you like.]"

"Aaj nahi to kal to seekhna hi padega. Apni begum ke liye to kapde choose karne hi padeinge. Abhi se practice kar lo. [You will have to learn to practice this sometime or the other. Afterall, once you are married you will have to choose for your wife. Start practicing from now.]"

"Ammi, please don't start again." Asad informed his aami and stepped away to answer a call.

Zoya worded the name Rukhsaar and looked at Najma who was frowning and responded with a whisper that she will tell her later.

----

"I know your secret Chaand Biii..." Zoya said to Chaand bi, who was now taking measurement for the alterations.

"Everyone does." She responded with a wink and shrug.

"For real?" Zoya was surprised that everyone was so nonchalant about it. Maybe things in India were truly progressing.

All she got was a knowing smile in return. Asad who had come back at just this moment, saw red at the interaction between Zoya and Chaand bi. He frowned hard and left the room, before he would say something that he would regret later.

"Khala, ek aur dress hai jo mujhe lagta hai Najma par bada jachega. Dekhenge aap? [I have one more dress which I think will be perfect for Najma. Will you like to see?]" Things were almost wrapping up when Chaand bi addressed Dilshaad again.

"Thanks but I don't want any new dresses. I have enough." Najma protested.

"Arrey dekh to lo. [Take a look atleast]" Dilshaad tried to convince her.

"OMG Tamatar. This is such a pretty dress. And the color and the styling are so perfect for you. You should totally buy it." Zoya exclaimed as she examined the dress in question. "Badi chuupi rustom hain aap Chaand Bi. Mujhe yeh kyon nahi dikhayi? [You are such a dark horse. Why did you not show me this dress?]" she questioned.

"Not your size dear, not your size."was all the response she got from her.

Dilshaad ended up buying the dress for Najma despite her numerous protests.

----

Next morning at the breakfast table "

"Asad, when is Rukhsaar coming?" Dilshaad asked.

"This afternoon, I will have the driver pick her up and bring her home. I am busy all afternoon, so will not be able to go the airport myself." Asad informed.

Zoya nudged Najma again, but still got a later in response.

"Asad..." Dilshaad was beginning to ask him a question to which he responded without being asked.

"Ammi, I have not really given it a thought. I just don't think I am ready yet. However, if you truly want, you are welcome to talk to uncle and aunty."

"Bete, I have always said this before and I stand by it today. I will only let you marry a girl you can love and respect. If these are missing in a relationship, then the relation holds no meaning. I am not stuck on Rukhsaar, but I know she is exactly the type of girl you will like and you have yourself praised her so many times before that I thought...maybe. And since Rubina bi spoke to me last time, I know she will be expecting some sort of an answer when we meet this time. Do you think, you can give this matter some thought? And don't worry, I am more than willing to decline them if you do think that Rukhsaar is not the correct life partner for you."

"Ammi aisi baat nahi. [Nothing of that sort.] I feel I am just not ready to get into this kind of commitment. Not yet."

"So there is still a chance? Thik hai, to phir main unse keh doon ki Asad abhi ready nahi? [Should I just tell them that you are not yet ready?] I don't want to keep the matter hanging for too long. Afterall it concerns the life of another young girl and I don't want her to suffer any ill-effects of our dillydallying."

"Jo aap thik samjhe.[As you deem fit.]" He spoke before walking away, again.

----

Later in Zoya's room "

"So what's with you? Why are you so lost? What's bothering you?" Zoya asked when Najma was not completely paying attention to the steps they were working on.

"Nothing" Najma tried to ignore Zoya's questions and look.

"Tamatar... I am not blind okay. I notice and hear things too. I saw how you were behaving yesterday when Chaand bi was here and I saw the sour expression on your face everytime Phoopi talks about this Rukhsaar female. So far I have deduced a few things already whether you like it or not. A) You don't like Chaand Bi B)Phoopi is trying to hook up Mr. Khan with this Rukhsaar C) You don't like B. So now, out with it. Spill the beans."

Najma refused to speak on the topic, instead concentrating on the video she was watching in order to get the steps right. But Zoya was not to give in so easily.

"Zoya, sachi aap to mere peeche hi pad gayi ho.[You are really behind my life about this.] Yes, I don't like Chaand Bi coming here and even seeing her face. Rukhsaar is a great girl, just not the kind of girl I want to see my brother with. So spare me if I don't look happy to you today." Najma erupted and made to leave the room in frustration.

"Tamatar...look I am sorry for being nosy. I was just trying to help, you know, as a friend. Promise, I will ask no more questions on either topic. But remember, you are like a little sis to me, I am always here when you want to talk. Okay?" Zoya pleaded, holding Najma's hand before they both engulfed each other in a sisterly hug.

---

Later around 4:00 pm in the evening "

"No she is not here yet. There must be traffic. Have you checked with the driver?" Dilshaad spoke to Asad on the phone. "Theek hain. Aati hi hogi who. [Okay. She will be here soon.] I will text you when she gets here. Can you stop worrying? Are you sure you are not..." she paused to listen to her son sigh and complain"Okay Okay, promise I will behave once she is here."

"Pata nahi kya hoga mere bete ka Zoya [Don't know what is to happen of my son]. Ek taraf kehta hai [On one hand he says], I don't feel that way about her and then on the other hand is worried that she has not yet reached." Dilshaad explained to Zoya who was sitting by her.

"Phoopi, I am sorry for intruding on a family matter but this girl, is she Mr. Khan's girlfriend? I am sorry if I am being too nosy..." She asked hesitatingly.

"Beta, first thing, you are very much a part of this house. So please don't consider yourself an outsider. In this one week, you have become like a second daughter to me. And no, Rukhsaar is not his GF. I don't think my son has the time or the inclination for a GF. His work and his family is all he really cares for. But she is the daughter of a very close business associate and also a distant relation. Of course, her parents would love it if they make a match, since they are both so much alike. I like her too, but I am not sure if she is right for my son. Ideally, I want him to fall in love and find someone who makes him happy here" she said pointing to her heart "but he is just not the type to look around, you know. Sooo I am doing what a good mother should do...push some eligible girls under his nose. Who knows which one will catch his fancy?" Dilshaad finished with a wink.

"Arreh waah. Ammi ho to aisi. [Wow, everyone should have a mother like this.]" Zoya laughed with her, when they heard the door bell ring.

"Salaam Walaykum Khala. Kaise hain aap? [Hello. How are you?]" A very pretty girl, with long flowing hair and a radiant smile, bowed low in a salaam as she entered the house.

"Rukhsaar!!! Hum kab se aapka wait kar rahe the. [We have been waiting for you for so long.]" Dilshaad exclaimed.

XXX

Question - Should be Rukhsaar nice or evil? I don't want a Tannu part two, but my intent was to compare and contrast the two girls. Your thoughts before I write the next few parts?

Also...I have dropped subtle hints about the future tracks...let me know what you catch...If you don't catch it, no worries, everything will be come out on its own in its own sweet time.😈

Looking forward to comments and criticisms.

Rivs

shreya11mehra thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Res
Unres

NIce update. ..

ASad zoya need loads of twist to say ILU...


Edited by shreya11mehra - 11 years ago
immigreat54 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
very nice update. I think it will take some time before ASYA fall in love with each other.
Looking fwd to read more updates soon
immigreat54 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Yeah, we also don't want Tannu part 2. Rukhsar may start as Tannu's character (tehzeeb yafta types) but she should end up bringing ASYA together, imo
LuvUAsYa thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
aaa aaa aaa aaa yipppeee u updated lemme give a reading to it il b back...😆
tan tana IM BACK...
FRST OF ol thank you sooo much 4 d updt ...I wasn't expecting it this early...😳🤗
hmmm
so is this Chand bi more THAN WAT SHE SEEMS TO BE??
wt sort of secret zoya was referring to??
don know y?...I feel like chand bi's antics r not d reason of najma's dislike... not sure...
haaaye... I wish they get married wid a mangalpur before tht...
so d new entry is here...
a precise but a good update dea..
coming to ur ques...
EVIL OR GOOD .. its completely ur choice ... its ur story n im sure u know it BTTR how to mould it..😳.
just 1 request ... make rukhsar a sweet heart ...or a witch its upto u but please don make zoya feel THT UNWANTED REJECTED tht she was shown in d show... it ws really hurting...
if u r upto jealousy track ..its ok... evn if u r upto gvng rukhsar special attention thtl b ok too ... but please don crush zoya's self esteem...😳
THAAANK U SOOO MUCH 4 D PM...
TC...
Edited by LuvUAsYa - 11 years ago
MissSparkling thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
hmm nt bad..!! New Gal in Khan mansion gd idea..!! looking forward 4 it
Luckyforever thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
brilliant update
i think she should be evil but not like tanu .
and i really want to see a jealous zoya and trying to disturb asad and ruksar private time out of jealousy .
rajnid68 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
what is the real secret that zoya is aware of. .
why does asad walk off ..without saying anything
that he will regret later..
najma not happy with ruksaar coming..
chand bi..still a mystery
sangeet practice. .
lovely. .awesome update. .
thanxs for the pm
...what...no myjaan
Edited by rajnid68 - 11 years ago
Anjinie thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I think a gud twist is needed to bring Asya together

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