Kumud stood shivering in the temple.Though her eyes were closed tears rolled over her cheeks.
"God,why are you punishing me like this?Why I have only pain these days?"
She opened her eyes only to get shocked to see Saras.
"Saras!How come you are here?".
"I did'nt come here to disturb you Kumud.I just came to pray".
"God hears only good-hearted people's prayers".
It pained Saras' heart.
Kumud noticed the dark sky.
"I think it's going to rain now.I need to go back before it starts raining".
Saras remembered Kumud dancing in rain when she felt being loved by Saras.
"Earlier you used to love being in love.Then now why are you going away from rain?"
"That time rain was the symbol of happiness.But now the rain appears to be tears".
Saras felt upset as it was because of him that Kumud finds pain in rain.
He said in his mind,
"Even in rain I can see only your tears which are caused by me.But I will wipe your tears Kumud".
Saras put one step forward,but his leg got slipped due to the wet slippery floor and he fell down.
"Saras!"Kumud ran towards him and helped him to get up.She saw his hand bleeding.Without second thoughts she tore her saree's pallu and tied it over her hand.
Cool breeze of love touched them.Saras could'nt help himself from pampering her face with his eyes.Kumud who looked up saw his eyes being fixed on her.She came back to her senses and moved backward.
She thought,
"Why do I still care for the man who cheated me?"
"Kumud!"He called her.She looked at him.He was looking at her with painful eyes.
"I am sorry Kumud".
Kumud's eyes got teary.Suddenly she managed herself not to become weak.
"After wounding my heart you don't deserve my pardon Saras".
His heart was scattered into various pieces.
"You don't have a heart.Then how will you understand what a woman undergoes when her man does'nt come to the wedding place?"
"I had come there Kumud".
Automatically he said so.
Kumud was shocked.
"But the Inspector who cheated Kumari attacked me with his goons.I fell unconscious".
Kumud could'nt believe it.
"No.You are lying".
"I know that you can't believe me.But this is the truth.When I came to know that my mother's suicide was due to my father's extra marital affair withmy step mother whom I respected I just lost my control Kumud".
Kumud was really shocked.
Kumud was reminded of the payal she got from the entrance.She remembered how she felt being called by Saras while travelling in the car to her husband's house.
She saw his tears flowing down.
"I said that I can't marry you.But did you think that I can stop loving you?"
Kumud lost herself in his tears.
"Saras!"
She forgot her current status and ran to him.He circled his arms around her waist and brought her closer to him.
Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
Tere bina kya wajood mera
It started raining.That moment both of them could'nt find any trace of pain in the rain.They could see only pure love in the rain.
She started shivering when rain drops fell all over her.Her wet saree which was hugging her sensitive skin made her shiver with cold.
He saw it.He wiped the rain drops from her her forehead,her cheeks,her nice and then her lips.When he touched her tender lips she moved away from her.But he held her hand brought her close to him.They both looked at each other's eyes deeply.
He removed his coat and covered her with it.
Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
Tere bina kya wajood mera
"Saras,you will feel cold without the coat".
"No Kumud.If you are alright why would I feel uncomfortable?We both had already become one body Kumud".
Tujhse juda gar ho jaayenge
Toh khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa
Kumud remembered that they had melted into one pool of love long ago.
His fingers fell on her wet head.
"Kumud,by folding your hair you are folding your happiness and beautiful dreams of love.When I am near you I won't let that happen".
He removed her bun and let her hair open.Her long tresses started glowing as if rain drops decorated it like small diamond stars decorate the sky of fairy land.His fingers pampered her lovely hair.She closed her eyes only to forget her recent pain and get immersed in this blissful moment with her man.
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho
Saras cupped her face in his hands.
"Kumud,open your eyes.Let me see your beautiful eyes".
Slowly she opened her eyes.Rain drops fell on her eyes.Her eye lashes fluttered.
"Saras,why do you want to see my eyes?"
"To see your feelings for me",he replied.
"You don't know how I feel for you?"She asked.
"I know.But I want to know whether your grief had vanished from the eyes.If so that means you have forgiven me".
"Saras,look at my eyes and tell me what you feel now".
He looked at her eyes deeply.
He smiled emotionally.
She smiled with tears in her eyes.
"Yes Saras,I have forgiven you".
They both became so emotional that they shed tears.
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho
He lifted her up in his arms and walked in the rain.They kept looking at each other.
He sat under a tree keeping his beloved on his lap.
He caressed her face.
"Kumud,now you understand me.I understand your marital life's truth also.Then why should we suffer like this Kumud?Why can't we forget everything and move on?"
Tera mera rishta hai kaisa
Ik pal door gawara nahi
Tere liye har roz hai jeete
Tujh ko diya mera waqt sabhi
Koi lamha mera na ho tere bina
Har saans pe naam tera
Kumud's heart beat fast and she got up from his lap.
"No Saras.I am married.I can't cheat anyone.And I can't break my parents' faith in me".
"Kumudyou are married only for name sake.Your husband is an animal.If your inlaws and parents know the truth they themselves will tell you to leave Pramad".
Kumud was in dilemma.
"No Saras!That's a sin".
She walked forward.He pulled her close to him staring at her eyes.
"I won't let you go Kumud.Because if you go back it's the hell of thorns which is waiting for you there.When I am alive I won't allow anything to hurt you.I hurt you.I can't let you suffer anymore".
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho
Kumud burst into tears.
"Kumud,I love you.I can't live without you",Saras confessed.
Kumud became so emotional that she did'nt know how to react.
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho
His tears fell down.He wiped her tears.
"Don't cry Kumud.This is not a moment to cry.This is a beautiful momentI got my Kumud back after a painful separation.Though the separation was short it felt very long."
She wept ,"And I got my Saras back".
He smiled emotionally.She smiled after a long time forgetting the tear drops which irritated her eyes.
She buried herself in his chest.
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho
The rain drops poured upon themselves marking a new beginning of love which was hidden for sometime.
Kumud removed the coat and held it above like an umbrella for both of them.They smiled at each other with a sweet flour ...A reunion of love under the umbrella.
Entry #2
"Rainy Confession"
Saras sat directly across from Kumud at the dining table while Pramad sat next to her, with his usual grumpy look, checking his phone and eating without a word.
Kumud felt trapped. Why did Saras have to sit across from her? It was torturous to have him looking at her all the time and right now he looked as if he had sensed something.
Suddenly the pallu on her head fell revealing a deep purple bruise on the upper part on her right arm. She immediately covered her arm with her pallu but Saras has seen it and her mother in law also.
- Kumud beta! What did you do to your arm?
Stuttering kumud replied:
- Ii..bumped ituh last night. I was going to the bathroom
- You should be careful beta, came the reply from the mother in law
Kumud gave a small embarrassing smile to the family and a quick glance at Saras with fear stricken face. He was looking at her, his eyes scrutinizing her face which was giving away her lie and Saras knew what happened.
He held his glass so tight that it almost shattered. He stared at Pramad, his eyes all red but then darted them back to kumud whose face was taut with anxiety. She was uncomfortable and her eyes were pleading him
He has lost appetite and if he stayed a minute more around that man, he may
He stood up as everybody looked up. He said:
- Excuse me. I am not feeling well. I am going to bed.
Without waiting for any response, he was gone.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kumud was unable to sleep. Pramad was out as usual. She was worried about Saras. She had to talk to him and decided to go to his room. As expected he was not sleeping. He was pacing the room. Kumud walked towards him and was about to say something but Saras brought his hand up to stop her. His face was distorted by pain n his eyes were livid
kumud was taken aback. It seemed like anger was seething through him. What he said next froze the blood in her veins. His voice was dangerously calm.
- I am bound by your promise not to hurt him but I warned you Kumud, you get hurt, I
Without completing his sentence, he turned around and walked away as Kumuds eyes followed him. Soon he was out of the house in the pouring rain.
Kumuds body was shaking and she felt tears coming from her eyes. She knew that challenging stare too well.
- No I need to go and find him. I dont want him to hurt himself. He is very stubborn; he can do anything when he is angry.
Without waiting for her mind to reason her and tell her that it was not appropriate for the Adhikari Bahu to leave the house at night for another man
She stormed out of the room, ran down the stairs and dashed out of the mansion and onto the road.
Thank God it was a silent night; the road was practically deserted due to the bad weather. She ran to the mandir with the hope that he would be there but he wasnt.
Where was he? What if something had happened to him? Lost and numb, Kumud was going back when she saw himno she sensed him.
She turned her face sideways and at a distanceSaras was on the road, on his knees with his hands on them, his face facing the sky. The rain was blowing into his eyes which hurt him but he didn't care.
ReliefAngerLoveHateHe only could bring so many emotions in her.
All she knew was her heart felt so light and heavy at the same time and she couldnt control the tears from falling out of her eyes. She walked up to him and practically yelled his name. Saras!
He kept his back to her. She called him again.
He finally turned and replied in a paining voice: Go away Kumud. I
But he didnt complete his sentence. She gasped as she saw blood oozing from a cut on his forehead.
- Oh my God!! You are bleeding. Yeh kaisse hua?
Instinctively she kneeled down, grabbed the end of her pallu to wipe the blood from his forehead as he gazed at her. She realized what she had done and stood up. She stepped back. Her voice was stuck in her throat but she finally managed to say:
- Why are you doing this? Why are you making it more difficult and painful for both of us? Why Saras?
Saras stood up. He saw the tears in her eyes, the worry on her face and the pain.
And she could make out his tears even in the rain. They looked at each other without word and finally he said:
- You know why I am doing this
Kumud stopped Saras from speaking farther. She controlled her tears and took a step back again. She needed to stop this right now. She cant afford to be vulnerable, to let go, to melt
- This is my life and I choose how to live it. I am accepting everything coming my way as my destiny n even if it is abuse from my husband. This is my personal life, you
Saras stepped forward; she saw the pain on his face but it was immediately replaced by anger. He grabbed her arm and screamed:
- Stop it kumud!!
Kumud tried to control her shaky self and released herself from Saras grip. She screeched:
- I told you I done need you. I dont need your help and I can take care of myself.
Pushing him away she asked in an attempt to hurt him to dampen his resolution:
- What do you want to prove? That you love me and cant see me in pain? YOU gave me the biggest pain in my life.
- Enough Kumud! You can blame me all your life but I wont go away.
This time Saras didn't move towards Kumud. He simply said:
- I don't need to prove anything. Yes I know I have given you the biggest pain. I need to be punished for it.
Looking straightly in her eyes he said:
- And I am being punished. I have lost you. This is my lifetime punishment but I love you Kumud even if you are no longer mine and this you cant take away from me.
Kumud felt faint. The wind was blowing her hair all over her face and she could no longer see Saras' face clearly. The rain was starting to make her shiver even harder. She felt herself starting to fall down.
He tried to hold onto her to keep her from falling but she hit his chest and distanced him.
- Stay away from me.
She couldn't speak. Her head was spinning and her heart knew that he was telling the truth but the urge to deny it all was too overpowering
- I have lost trust on you long time back Saras when you ditched me
She was about to topple. Saras wanted to go and catch her. He took a step forward but then he backed away.
He understood Kumuds position.
With that he turned around ready to walk away.
She started crying. Her life was slipping out of her hands. She felt an unbearable pain. It was like her heart has come crushing down on her.
As he started walking away,he felt her hand stop him. His heart skipped a beat. Was he dreaming? He turned around and they looked at each other as she clutched at his shirt finally she spoke up:
- You promised never to let me break Saras. But I am brokenI am lostandyou are going away again
He so wanted to put his hands around her, to stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head but... this will have to wait till the storm in their life died down and he knew that together they would overcome it.
Tightening his grip on her hand instead, he said:
- I am not going anywhere Kumud. We did a very big mistake but I will set things right. I will never let u break I promise.
Entry #3
"Safe In His Hands"
Saras ran into the Mandir to find Kumud praying solemnly. She stood stock-still, as if she was afraid even to take a deep breath. Keeping his head high, Saras walked past Kumud. Tears welled up in his eyes as he was dying within. Days have passed with him trying to tell the truth to her, his reasoning. It was his fault. He saw streams of tears flowing over her cheeks. He loved her; oh that much was clear to him. This woman was the only one who made a home in his heart that had permanency written on it. He knew his feelings were different from what he had felt before. This was like Niagara Falls when compared to what he felt earlier.
"Damn it!" Saras hit the pillar with his fist in frustration, cursing him for dumping her. He would let her know the truth today and he knew that it was now or never for him.
He outstretched his hand to touch her shoulders, but remembered that she belongs to another man and he put his hand down. He fixed his gaze upon her and waited until she opens her eyes. A minute or two passed yet she remained unmoved.
"Kumud?" Sarass words made her heart pound. She wanted so badly to pretend that she had not heard him and keep on concentrating on prayers. Kumud opened her eyes slowly and saw the calmness she enjoyed a while before was now diffused into insignificance and it seemed that the tempest would take over in no time. The innocent ambience was overshadowed by that of a vile more like her life. The clouds roared one last time reminding her to hurry, but she remained there unaffected. She is already in the middle of a worse storm, so a storm like this could do no more damage. "Is there any more to tell?" She asked without even looking at him.
"Yes, and its important", he said looking at the few people who were looking at them, come with me.
She wanted to say no. Not again. Once was enough, twice was more than enough. But for the third time Okay she agreed.
He gently took her elbow, as if he thought she might try to escape, and led her towards the exit.
"What is it about?" she asked halting on the last step.
"It is about us, and that's my fault, I handled things badly. I want to make everything alright", to her nerves his words were like a high-pitched sequel from a public addressing system.
Its too late now, there isn't a thing you can change she looked away trying to hide the fear that ran through her body, thinking about her good-for-nothing husband.
"One last chance, please...At least listen to me!" he pleaded, holding both his together bending his head in front of her.
She had been given a jolt, hearing what he went through. She had been feeling something strange ever since he called off their marriage and she regret for not listening to her heart then. She had been a girl who had been shown a door to heaven awe inspiring before, but they had broken down before she had even knocked on them because of one wrong step she took. Why had she taken the wrong decision in a hurry? Why hadn't she waited for him for a while? If only she could turn back the clock.She wanted to tear something up, throw something but she quietly walked away, away from him, knowing that if she had stayed there she would surely have surrendered to him.
There was a moment of silence and Saras turned around to see kumud was long gone from there. Where could she go in such a bad weather? He ran out into the rain to the narrow street to find Kumud, but there was no sign of her. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes in rage and slowly started walking forward. Before he could walk a small distance he heard someones heartbreaking sobs. It was none other than Kumud, his Kumud. She was sitting right at a side of the road, crying her heart out, as though she wanted to wash away all the hurt. He ran to her and knelt down in front of her to touch her shoulders, Kumud?
She pushed him away, so hard that he nearly had a fall. He gathered himself and moved closer to her this time, his hands reaching across her shoulders as he held her closer to him. She hit his chest with her fist, crying her heart out.
"Why? Why did this happen to me?" she asked the question he could never answer. He shook his head, held her cheeks and wiped her tears and pulled her into him almost crushing her against his chest. He knew he was wrong to hold her like that, but he could not help himself from doing so. She needed him. As he lowered his gaze to her back, he saw fresh bruises from where her sari could not cover up. Has she being beaten by someone? Could it be her husband? Dare she tell him the truth? Dare she tell him that her husband is alcoholic? Dare she tell him that she still want to continue her life with her husband? No. He wont let her do it. He is the one who did all the damage and only he could amend it.
"You are not going back! I'm not letting you to go!", Saras said in a harsh tone, pushing her away from him slowly and he asked her about the bruises on her back. She ignored his last question and refused his decision of her not going home. She knew to which extent her husbands family would steep to find her if she ever tried to escape and she did not want Saras to be in danger because of her. She tried to convince him that she is happily married and now as she knew the truth she is all broken and she could never forget him. She would always love him but could not go away with him as destiny had other plans for them.
Her talks could not distract Saras. He then pulled her to him and said, "do you think you can fool me, Kumud? If you think so, then you are wrong! You can hide what you go through from others but not from this Saraswatichandra! I'm taking you with me, and thats final."
Kumud's mind befuddled the minute he had pulled her close, as though he knew it was the only way he could make her forget everything but him. She could not think straight when he was this close. Oh, he still affects her so much, and being away for a couple of months did not change her feelings. Why did he make her feel like this? Why did her body want to be close to him and when it was all coherent thought left her? She tried to reply, "Uh...I.." and Saras just stopped her from a reply by kissing her. It was a kiss to let her know that he loves her more than anything else he will walk to the end of the earth with her.
Saras sighed as the kiss deepened; the taste of her lips was like a drop of life from the Holy Grail. Tasting her sweetness with the taste of rain was magical, and he felt that when he dies he wanted the heaven like this, with her taste. She kissed him back with frenzy, forgetting her marital status and the threatening life she had been living for the past few months. He slid his hand on down her back till he found the curve of her waist and gently lifted her up in his arms without breaking the kiss. He walked back to the car, where he left his bag; put her in the passenger seat and gently he let her lips go, to look at her face.
Sliding next to her, he demanded in a whisper, Open your eyes Kumud feeling that she was afraid to open her eyes thinking that this was a dream. Look into my eyes, Kumud! Do they tell you how much I regret for what happened to you? Do they tell you how much you mean to me? How lost I had been without seeing you for the past few months? How lost I would be if they do not see you? I need you, Kumud he questioned her, while trying to find answers in her eyes.
Kumud looked at him unblinkingly, mesmerized by the passion she saw in his dark brown pebbles. His eyes told everything to her, how much he wanted her. He would go against the whole world for her. He would save her, free her from her captive.
Suddenly they felt a sharp light on them and they both stilled, he felt the tensing in Kumud as they broke apart and he put her down in to his lap. He covered her mouth with his hands as they heard a phone ringing.
"No sir." The man answered the phone. "There isn't a sign of anyone here. She cant be here in this weather."
Saras sighed, taking away his hand on her mouth just as the spine-tingling moment was over. He quickly got one of his jackets for her to put on as he sensed they are in danger. Without hesitating, Kumud put it over her wet sari and waited for him to start the car. He assured her that as long as he was with her no one could harm her, not even Buddhidhan or his men.
Kumud helped Saras to locate the nearest hotel as he drove hurriedly on the dark streets of Ratnagiri to find shelter for the night ahead. The receptionist studied Kumud, who covered her face with the pallu of her sari. Luckily, without much delay they were allocated a room and they both went in quickly. Just as Kumud went to dry herself up, Saras made some plans on how to reach the Desai's Haveli early in the morning as the danger still awaits for them.
Kumud felt shy to step out of the bath room wearing his shirt, but slowly she came out. She saw Saras rummaging with the logs to light a fire, turning his back to her. She inhaled trying to calm her heartbeats that threatened to run away when she laid her eyes on him. Her breathing ragged as he turned around to look at her. The harder she tried to calm her nerves, the worse it got.
As if drawn by some unknown force, he got up and walked to her, while still holding on to the last threads of his control when he saw her feet shuffling in agitation. He touched her arm, trying to turn her but found himself nestling his head against hers, breathing in the scent of her mingled hair. He closed his eyes and pulled her against his chest and lifted her in his arms.
Just as Kumud hold around his neck they heard a knock on the hotel door and someone say "room service."
.. More entries in next post ..
Kumkum Bhagya
Tu Dhadkan Main Dil
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
