virman os __ Zindagi Ruswaa Kar Chali... part 3 (ii) updated pg 22 - Page 6

manvi's pov
you always took care of me virat and the love which you shower on kunal is just... just... just beyond everything... million of words would fail to express the bond you two share with each other. but still somewhere in my heart, i still question myself what if kushal was there beside me... i wonder how he would have looked with that cute expression when he would have picked kunal in his arms for the very first time... i still wonder how much he would have loved kunal and spoiled him... how he would have taught him the things virat taught kunal... how he would have made kunal join singing classes... kushal always told me that he would make our children learn music... he had a passion for music and my kunal also has that passion... i just enjoy the moments when i play a song on my phone or even when i hum a song, kunal smiles and as a baby he used to giggle... he so loved music like his father... i wonder kushal have made lkunal like him... a free bird... a rockstar... a prankster... but i think too much of planning often spoils the spirit of life... life is not a thing to plan... life is all about spontanity... but reality... reality is just a total contrast... contrast of what we think and plan. kunal is very much organised and displined... all thanks to my husband... its not like he doesnt like to have fun... when he is in the mood, he is naughtiest child you would ever come across... he can turn the whole house into a mental asylem... vanshika maa tells me many times that kunal is far more naughty than kushal was and i totally agree... he is just a difficult child to handle sometimes... i wonder how virat handles him... he wouldnt say a word but one look of his eye would make kunal understand that he had had enough and next moment he would sit down like an obedient innocent son... though he is the only one who spoils kunal with his extra love n care but he knows when and where to put a full stop... and kunal is just too inspired by virat and loves him soo much... virat is a great father to my son and no one could have been that capable i guess...

virat's pov
kunal is the bridge between manvi and me. kunal is just a replica of my kido but i am too scared to lose him... i lost kushal and i somehow survived but if this time anything ever happens to kunal, i wouldnt be able to live... kunal is the air i breathe and i love him immensely... i couldnt take care of kushal but this time i wouldnt lose... i will protect kunal all my life and even after that... i just cant bear a single scratch on his body, it hurts me so much... everytime i look at kunal, i get reminded of kushal... kunal's eyes are just like kushal and his little nose is just like manvi's. wish destiny was never too cruel... wish i could have died in place of kushal... then kushal, manvi and kunal would have been a happy family... wish i didnt call kushal to office that day to give me a file... wish everything was the way it was... so what if it not happened... i would have been lonely... i would have never had manvi and kunal... i would have never been happy and contended... i know i am being selfish but i am also human and i also want to live happily and peacfully... i also want to be loved... i am waiting for you manvi... wish you could love me back someday...

manvi's pov
love... will love ever knock at my door again...?? somehow i have realised one thing that i have been living in my dream world from such a long time... the small world kushal and i ever created... te world which had our small dreamd, our small litlle wishes, our lovey dovey talks... but today only i am in this world all alone... i am feeling suffocated... i want to live in this real world and create real good memories... but i think it would never be possible... you and your memories are not ready to leave me kushal... everytime i think of accepting my marriage... evrytime i think of giving me and virat a chance... you pull me back.. you love pulls me back that very moment... i can never move on in my life until i forget you n your memories... but will i be able to do this...?? will i be able to remember you as a distant memory locked up in my heart...?? will i cheat you by moving on in life...?? i dont know... i know just one thing that i cant hurt you... i can never do anything that would hurt you... hurting you would mean tearing my soul apart... but in this process of loving you n cherishing you i am being unfair to my husband... i am hurting virat... i am struck up between my present and my past... on side there is my husband who has helped me like a friend through every thick n thin and on the other hand there is a man i loved... how am i supposed to choose between you n virat... how am i supposed to hurt anyone of you... how am i supposed to live like this... what am i...??? a widow or a married woman...??? what am i...??? where is my identity...??? where have i lost myself...?? i am lost kushal... help me... help me survive... give me a sign... tell your manvi what she should do... help me please... please...