BEING A FEMALE...

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salta

@salta

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#101

This forgiving attitude works nowhere in these feminist problems. All the instances u brought up, were right, but i couldn't relate them to the topic. My point is if these things, no matter how acceptable in society are happening around, we need to raise the voice not to forget or forgive but to make sure that they get a punishment.

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Mahadevan Venkitaraman

@maha2us

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#102

The topic of forgiving is really a broad one. While the points quoted by Promethus is all definitely possible by a human being, there is no need to be this way by sacrificing oneself or by putting pressure on oneself. What is really important for any human being both male or female is attending to the pain of oneself tenderly and being gentle to oneself. Speaking up for oneself is always important. Only when you are able to take care of yourself, accept yourself, love and value yourself and forgive yourself there is meaning in forgiving others and following all those quotes. I am not doing justice to myself when I feel guilty within me or when I am harsh on me or when I betray myself. Letting an abuser continue to abuse me is also abuse I am doing. Whatever I say applies to males and females equally.

As Megha said, definitely things are going not good for women because they had long let men abuse them without raising voice. Definitely being this way is painful and it will cause resentment within. Women empowerment is important in which women are to find their capability and talents and doing justice to them and not just hatred of men as some feminists make out.

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hit_homerun

@hit_homerun

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#103

Originally posted by: meghasingh

u think we want sympathy...no dude or babe, we r jut discussing simple things which happens around us but no1 talks abt them. till u dont' discuss or come up with problems, one can't solve them. now there r some people who think that if one talks abt their problems then he needs sympathy, where as that's not true, bcz when one talk then other too comes up with their problems and discuss, that's what which can be an initiative to change.

its just that line in the initial post - sometimes i think being a guy would be better after all .

remember - the grass is always greener on the other side .

if we are talking about equality here , then a woman who wishes to be an equal to man ; lacks ambition . The thing women have to learn is nobody gives you power . You just take it 😉

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Mahadevan Venkitaraman

@maha2us

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#104

What Prometus says is true. Girls not let to climb trees will surely be disappointed. Of course, parents with liberal attitude are always blessing for the children. When girls are encouraged to climb trees, when they are young, they will be encouraged to achieve something in life. Once they are grown up, they will be encouraged to climb mountains. Only these types of women with encouraging parents, will find motivated to climb Mt Everest etc. Recently we read a Saudi woman successfully got to the top of Mt: Everest.

Of course these women who had encouraging parents are not many. Most of the children had parents who restricted their children and these boys/girls would really be frustrated once they grow up. Still they need not lose hope. Even when a person has grown up if he/she is interested he/she can get in touch with his/her true capabilities and could embrace his/her extraordinary nature. Only they have to be willing to make this way and persist in their efforts.

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cupoftea11

@cupoftea11

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#105

Originally posted by: meghasingh
Okay we' re having a really good discussion about rapes and molestation...but as a girl I find that there are really so many pressures on me just because i'm a female and had been a guy wouldn't had faced them.

You would have faced another set of problems then 🤔 They have their own problems too

Many know me well on IF, but those who don't know about me... honestly there are so many things in my life which i face just because i'm a girl... although having pretty good family(with my atheist feminist dad, i've always got a special place otherwise my mom would had definitely bothered to be an "ideal daughter")...still at least 10-15 times a day i feel it's because that i'm a girl.

And what's wrong in being an ideal daughter? All you have to do is learn to cook,clean,love and care for your parents. Even boys cook and clean nowadays. All my uncles,brothers and my dad , they are awesome cooks and even clean the house better than women.
And if your mom does want to you learn good things,whats the harm in it? When you will have a house just for yourself, you will know how to cook and clean and not just depend on restaurants etc.

For everyone...these things may be something which u never share with anyone, but here we can, and just take a look how deep the problem is really in our society. Although i know here are very few guys but i would like to hear from them what do they feel.

@Bold- In almost every society. Read Khaled Hosseini's books. You will love India then.

2. my relatives...i so hate them...they had always a problem with me...why she's like this...?

Your relatives hate you. Didn't you ever question yourself or see maybe YOU are the one who's at fault. No offence, but taali kabhi ek haath se nahi bajti, even you must have done something. Maybe you roll your eyes every time and aunty tries to tell you something..😛

enough for now...but i hope it'll have a nice response from u guys...

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441597

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#106

Wow, I feel quite disoriented after reading some of the posts here. Each and every single post is a shocker, especially Skepblun's.

About myself, I've been brought up in an extremely liberal environment, with no or minimum things to remind me that I was a "GIRL". Apart from the occasional passing speculative comment on marriage and stuff, I was never seriously bullied or forced into thinking what I'd be doing after marriage and how would I go about performing the herculean task of pleasing in-laws. Everybody---from Mom to my relatives told me to study and get a good career, and Mom, especially, inculcated the very rigid idea in my mind that it's compulsory for a woman to work if she wants to live with dignity, especially after marriage where she'd be mostly at disadvantage compared to her husband. My Dad till date never talked about ANYTHING regarding marriage, only how I should become a PhD holder like him and teach in a College/University. I've other plans though, I'm training to appear for the State Civil Services. 😆

The most (actually, the ONLY) sexist person I can think of in my family is my maternal Grandma, (paternal ones are deceased). She was very discriminating, from what I've heard, in many ways between my Uncle and Mom and Aunts in childhood. (Favouring the male child more...as you can guess).

She's the one who mostly talks to me about marriage and stuff when we go visiting or she comes down. She's actually voiced the opinion that "Sons are far better than daughters as daughters are inherently selfish".(!!!)

However, surprisingly, she persistently encourages me and my other female cousins to take up jobs and become careerists. Once, after an older cousin of mine divorced from her husband after just one year of marriage, she (my Grandma) squarely blamed her ex-husband for the divorce, even though both of them were equally at fault. She was the one who urged my cousin to get re-married, and even suggested joining work (my cousin was unemployed at the time) so she could find an unmarried, virgin boy for marriage since the Alliances coming in for her remarriage were mostly of divorcees. Yup, that's right. My cousin is remarried now to a bachelor with a kid and has a job, btw.

This is a short example of what even the most narrow-minded person in our immediate family is like. Same goes for the people I've encountered at School, College and University. And my girl friends--almost every female friend I've known has had a similar liberal upbringing.

Its not like I haven't faced ANY discrimination at all in life. The usual lewd-comments-on-street, groping-in-crowd that every girl in India faces at some point of time or the other, cautions by my Mom not to stay out "too late" at night, and general over-protectiveness of parents. Also, I wasn't allowed to date in school and didn't have many guy friends (in school). But they were more safety-oriented (my Parents' attitude), than any actual belief-led practice of Sexism. I do know that I wouldn't have been allowed to date in school even if I was a guy, my family is rigid on this particular principle. 😆 My Aunt always makes my cousin leave the room if she has to talk to me about whether I'm seeing anyone or like anyone, she thinks he's still a kid. 😛

As I leaf through the pages of this topic and read what SO MANY girls have to go through in our country, it sort of distresses me. Having never faced statements like "Women are only meant to make rotis", "What use are of Degrees for a woman", "why should you, being a GIRL, do this" EVER in my life, I almost feel like some Alien. I've the exact same reaction when I read about female infanticide and women being discriminated against by their own parents and relatives---I simply can't bring myself to place me in their position. Heck, i really don't know what I'd have turned out like, had I been raised in the same ultra-conservative, chauvinistic environment as some of the Posters here. I don't think I'd have survived it.

Hats Off to you guys, that's the LEAST I can say here. ⭐️

Edited by krystal_watz - 12 years ago

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BEING A FEMALE... - Page 11

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