After she shut the door on him, she collapsed on the bed.
Sobs wracked through her body.
She cried for her dreams that were tied to him-Dreams of marriage and babies and sweet home.
She cried for the 21 year old girl whose heart had received a death blow at his hotel room all those years ago.
She cried for her father, who had died with a wish she could not fulfill and whose death had put her heart in a cold storage.
She cried for her mother, who had died not knowing what ailed her daughter so much that she could not fulfill her only wish and by dying had put the final nail to the coffin in which her dead heart lay in cold storage.
In a way her life had ended on the entrance of his room all those years ago.
She had gone on for her Dad first and then for her Mom and then because there was no choice. She was too brave to give up her life, when she had so much to give to the world.
She cried for the sweet love she had once shared and the ugly scars it had given.
She cried for the man she had locked out of the room and her life and yet could not lock out of her heart, soul and mind---
Arnav had stood outside her door for some time, wondering whether to walk up to her again and demand that she hear his end of the story.
But for once in his life, Arnav Singh Raizada was a defeated and battered man, when he heard the loud sobs coming from within.
Her tears had always hurt him. And today it haunted him, because he knew very well he had put them there, broken hear heart, left her bruised and alone, taken away her dreams and innocence---
At that moment he hated himself.
Slowly as he walked back to his car he looked heavenwards silently asking his mother, 'Why did you let me make such a big mistake ma? Why didn't you stop me? Why are you not there to tell me what I should do to make her whole again?'
At that moment, he felt more alone than he ever felt in his life.
If only he had not been such a jealous, egoistic selfish brat, today things would be different.
His mind went back that night NK and Khushi had come to give him the wedding invite.
After she had left, he had gone on a rampage, breaking things and going mad. It was then that he had decided to move into a hotel, because he knew he could not drink within the campus.
As he was leaving the college grounds, Lavanaya met him on the way.
'Hey ASR. I wanted to say bye. God knows when we will meet,' she had said.
He had nodded dully and moved past her. She held his arm and asked, 'What's wrong ASR?'
He had tried to move away, not wanting to confide. But she had been smarter, seeing through his mask.
'Something is wrong isn't it? Is it Khushi?' she asked.
At the mention of Khushi's name, his eyes had become blood shot with anger, and he crashed his hands into the wall, wounding it.
Lavanya had been terrified and had dragged him to the medical room.
She had insisted on getting the whole story out of him. Arnav had been reluctant at first. But had ended up pouring his heart out---
Looking back, he realized he had been hurting and lonely and had walked straight into Lavanya's plans to get back at Khushi. He hadn't known then that she had been harboring a simmering anger towards Khushi for 'snatching' him away from her. He hadn't known she had wanted to get back at Khushi, through him. She had felt justified in doing it, she said later, because she said she had always suspected that Khushi was two timing him and NK, while she loved him truly.
Fool that he was he had believed her.
'We should teach her a lesson Arnav. She deserves to be taught a lesson she will never forget. I will help you, if you need me,' she had offered.
Arnav had brushed away her plans and walked away, not in the mood for drama.
But the next day, when Khushi had come to explain, he had felt himself wanting to hurt her and give her back a taste of her own medicine. He had wanted to enrage her with jealousy. He had wanted to hurt her. He had wanted to inflict every bit of the pain she had inflicted on him and much more---
How foolish and irrational people become when love combines with jealousy? Arnav thought.
Had he not been possessed with both these emotions to the extreme, he would not have planned it all with Lavanaya.
He had asked Khushi to come the next day and asked Lavanaya to pretend as if she had spent the night with him, which Lavanya was more than ready to do.
Their plan had worked and Khushi had left in tears. Only, he had not felt the pride of victory, he had crumbled right after that, saying, 'I hurt her. I hurt my Khushi. May be she had a reason. May be she wanted to tell me something.'
But Lavanaya had dismissed it all, insisting 'What reason can she have for ditching you and marrying NK? She has already made a choice. She does not deserve you Arnav. She has always been more inclined to that NK. Don't waste your time crying over her. In a month she will be Mrs Nand Kishore Sharma and you will still be ASR. Don't make a fool of yourself over her. You have to show you don't care, so that she does not have the final victory,' Lavanaya had said.
If only he had not listened to her that day and gone behind Khushi.
Instead he had spent the day drinking and moping.Lavanaya had tried to rekindle their relationship, but he had been in no mood to take it up.
'She might have betrayed me Lavanya, but she is the only woman whom I can think of right now'.
They had gone their separate ways.
When he was going to US, needing a change, Lavanya had come home.
Her father had been impressed with Lavanya and had suggested to Arnav that he should marry her. Arnav had turned down the proposal, still hurting over Khushi.
But his father had wanted him to give the relationship a chance, as Lavanya belonged to a very affluent family.
So when he went to US, she followed, as desired by his father.
He started managing his father's US operations and Lavanya had worked for him.
To Arnav, Lavanya had meant nothing. She was like every other woman he tried dating after breaking up with Khushi.
But he hadn't seen Khushi's smile.
Her beautiful eyes,
Her sweet ways,
Her non stop chatter,
Her innocence,
Her vulnerability---
He had wanted Khushi in every relationship he tried to have, not that he had any serious one. He never got that far.
When his father had come to US, he had been impressed with his son's work life, but unimpressed with Arnav's personal life.
'Get a hold of yourself young man. The world does not end due to a broken heart. Look at this fine woman who has stood by you all the time. Don't you think you owe it to her to give her some kind of a commitment?' his father had asked.
Arnav had been ridden with guilt. Lavanya had spent two whole years of her life trying to piece him together. May be he owed a commitment to her. He knew she loved him.
So, one night he had asked her to get engaged to him. 'Lavanya, I can be engaged to you. Which means I won't see any other woman. But don't ask me to marry you now. You know why I can't.'
She had agreed, happy to get at least this from him, when she had been thinking she would get nothing.
He had wanted to tell this to Khushi. A perverse need to gloat to her. May be she already had a child now. He wanted to tell her he had moved on too.
But she had mysteriously disappeared. None of their friends knew where she was, not that she had many friends in college. Her social networking profile was closed. She had changed her number. All he had , was her e-mail ID.
He mailed her, announcing his impending marriage, careful not to tell her that the marriage was not anytime soon.
He had never received any reply, but he knew the mail had been opened, because he had received a read receipt.
A few days later, when he tried to mail her again, the mails bounced back, because the mail account had been closed.
With that he had lost all communication with her----till now.
But everyday he had slept with her thoughts.
He had contacted old friends about her.
He had tried various means to find her---not even aware of the reason.
Come to think of it, he had wanted to know how she was-without him.
Slowly, he had begun to believe, that what he felt fo Khushi, was the emotion he had never believed in-Love.
His obsession with Khushi had enraged Lavanya, till one day things came to a head---
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