Shreya cried. He was touching her, confessing his love, pity she wasn't the girl for whom all this was. Maan kissed all over her face. I love you Geet. Dare you go away from me ever again. He nuzzled her neck n Shreya basked into the sensations. Her heart was for craving for this, for his love. For once, just once she wanted to feel his affection. The immeasurable love that every girl wishes for from a man, she wanted that from her husband, there was nothing wrong with that. She nodded n Maan's eyes swam with unshed tears. They were of happiness. I can't believe it. You are here with me. Why did you go?
For him, she was even ready to disregard herself n become someone else. Just-for once-she at least deserved this much. I am here Maan. I will never go again. He pulled her into him again while his hand roamed on her body, clutched her hairs.
Shreya moaned about to break n melt in his arms. He was so passionate yet so caring. His large hands were rough yet so tender. The love filled in him was drowning n Shreya was immersed, completely. She never knew he was capable of so much of passion n devotion. It was like he was set to love n worship her at the same time. How much she had waited for this moment?
He kissed her and the hex faded into reality. You are not Geet. He pulled back abruptly and slapped her, wiping his mouth as if it burned. Shreya looked at him astonished, piercing hurt swimming in her eyes; it didn't bother him, not at all. But the naked hate n disgust on his face nearly murdered her soul.
Yes I am not Geet. She cried out. But I am your wife.
You are nothing to me.
We are married Maan. Why can't you forget her?
Maan'd had difficulty focusing on her. Firstly his head was spinning n then the anger in him was blinding. She kissed him; grr, he only belonged to his Geet. Now he would have to ask for forgiveness from her. But how? She wasn't there. He couldn't place if all this was happening in real or he was just dreaming. Whatever it was, Shreya shouldn't have kissed him n played with his feelings. For a split second he really believed his toy girl was there when she wasn't. You might think that we were married but for me it was just an act. I told you I loved her, didn't I? He shouted n Shreya jumped back.
Back home nobody ever shouted on her ever n here he slapped her. If you loved her then why did you marry me? Shreya sobbed. She would take her answers today. It was enough. Tell me Maan, you loved her then why you ruined my life, why you can't move on, why you want to rot in this hell? For how long you are going to live with pain? TELL ME?
Maan gritted his teeth, she would never understand, no one could. Because I love her so damn much that I don't need her to be with me to keep that love alive. To separate me from her you would have to kill me. I didn't want to marry you. I would never have if Mr. Khurana wouldn't have forced me. You were forced on me. He didn't need to say anything else. In a painful grip he clutched her hand n threw her out of the room. Never come in here again. It is my Geet's room.
I dirtied the bed sheets, would have to wash them. He muttered under his breath and shut the door n himself from her.
He didn't feel anything for me, not even an ounce of concern. He slapped n rejected me brutally yet was just worried about your sheets. Informed me so insensitively that I was forced on him by his dad, the worst thing was he didn't want me even in drunken state. How pathetic was that?
After that night I accepted that I would never get his love. It wasn't for me in the first place. No matter how difficult, was there a choice? I had to live with it. I hated Maan then so much that I couldn't describe in words n more than him I hated you.
I love her so damn much that I don't need her to be with me to keep that love alive. To separate me from her you would have to kill me.
He said that to me when I was ready to sacrifice all that I had for him. And he just discarded me n my love. Only for you. You are one hell of a lucky girl, Geet. Shreya smiled. She wished she would have known Maan's worth before he met Geet in New York then she wouldn't have let him go anywhere n would have taken him for her then only. But even that wouldn't have worked because Geet was etched in his each and every bit since he learned what love meant in childhood. Geet was his personal meaning of 'love' n he associated her with it everywhere.
After that night nothing was left inside of me. I buried all expectations n dreams inside of me and did my duties without uttering a single word. It was after all my own doing; he had told me he loved you n he would never be able to love me like that. Don't know which world I was living in then to think otherwise.
(Somehow Geet knew how Shreya would have felt, Geet had felt the same for years, thinking that Maan didn't love her but Shreya. When Geet had found out about Jia the excruciating pain was what Shreya must have felt that night. Geet didn't know for whom she should shed tears, for Shreya or for Maan. In some other time n situation Geet would have got jealous but here she identified herself with Shreya. She knew that Sherya was miserable n what she did was ignorance rather than intentional. She was also misguided just like her.
But after the entire heart break that was impressed on the paper, Geet was delirious. Maan fought n it sounded selfish but she felt happy that he didn't gave up. He hurt himself though n Geet wanted to kill herself for doing that to him but how could she not feel a part of her taking birth again feeling the mightiness of the love that Maan held for her. She indeed was lucky, very lucky.)
Everything continued as it was for four months. Then we came to know that Maan's dad had a heart attack. Previously he had called Maan so many times; I don't wholly know how things went between them but I know his dad wanted him back. But Maan wasn't ready to buy any of that. If his love was insane his hate was a step ahead n I am quite sure if he hated someone more than me it was his dad. Dadimaa before leaving for London asked him so much but he didn't go. Not even his Dad's-whom he had admired all his life-ill health could summon him.
He had turned into a rock effect by none.
But we had to eventually go back to London after living in Delhi for 4 months. Another heart attack n his dad couldn't survive it. We went back n Maan took reins of the company in his hands.
He didn't want to but it was his dad's last wish n after much coaxing from Dadimaa he had to take KC's responsibilities. If he hadn't whole empire would have crumpled into nothingness. He immersed himself into work and it was working. With his dynamic n dedicated disposition KC got a new life, doing wonders. Maan was born to lead, we all knew that and it wasn't a surprise.
I, on other hand, was fighting with my own loneliness. My dad could notice it now too since he was also in London. Anyone who saw me n Maan could say that we were nothing n my father was no exception. He knew that I suffering n at the time of marriage he didn't know anything otherwise he wouldn't have got me married to Maan, now he couldn't do much. He told me to divorce Maan. I couldn't do that. I had seen Maan put up with all the pain. If I was lonely, he was way more wretched. How could I leave him? And, I needed him more than anything. He had become my identity n I was scared there would be nothing left of me if I let go of what little I had. Days would go by without seeing his face but I took care of him, his meals n routine.
If not getting separated then at least my dad wanted me to join his business again. I joined him, something more was needed to occupy my mind.
I was living like that only just for the sake of it, without love or a goal. It was then when he came into my life that something stirred with me. His name was Anuj n we were old acquaintances. He was in my school but then we never talked much. Now we were meeting after years n he had turned into a totally different person.
Shreya lived those moments again to the fullest as she could. Anuj was imperturbable being n he had entered her life like a breath of fresh air when she was withering n falling. He was a flirt n complete womanizer and had come to London for a couple of months for business with her company.
Shreya after months felt like her old self with him. He would make her laugh even when there was a load of work on her head n after a long day his one call made her take in two breaths of peacefulness. As days passed they came closer and one night at a business party they lost it. Anuj had made it clear since the very start that he didn't want any string attached, he was a free bird but she was so much in need of love or even compassion that wherever she got a little a glimpse was just yanked towards it.
Our affair went on for a while then Anuj went back n I was left alone again. The complimentary life was just for a month.
Maan wouldn't have come to know ever about anything n all would have remain as it is, if after a two weeks I wouldn't have fallen sick n doctor hadn't announced on his face that I was pregnant. Dadimaa was happy, she didn't had any idea that the child wasn't ours-Maan's n I-but of course Maan knew. He remained quite throughout the checking n only unleashed his anger when Dadimaa n Doctor left. The look in his eyes was unbearable. His anger was scary but the grief was incalculable and I saw he was trying to shield himself, without a word he left.
Maan knew if he stayed there for a second more he would kill her. He went into the gym n Shreya came behind him. Maan...
Shreya. Go. His growl was so low and threatening.
Par Maan, just once... l... let me explain
What will you explain, huh? If you wanted to sleep with other men just a word was required n I would have left you to your own happy way. His jaw was clenched so tight that she winced.
What do you mean by men? That's what you think of me? Shreya asked incredulously with tears of shame in her eyes. Did you ever try to find out how was I doing, if I ate my meal, if I slept at night, if I am happy? No you never' then how can you claim your right as my husband. Who gave you the right to accuse me now?
You did. Maan held her shoulders digging his nails into her skin. His eyes were red with anger as he spoke. You married me. You were staying with me. Now you can't pass on the blame on me. You are a liar, a cheater. He shouted on top of his voice. All women are the same. You all just know how betray n give pain. She said mom left me because she loved someone else. She left because she thought I didn't feel anything for her. And you, you are saying that you are carrying someone else's child because of me. The truth is you all enjoy this game. I am a fool to fall prey every time. His eyes were filled n Shreya was crying too, she tried to touch him. He pushed her hand away. I don't need anybody. He screamed. I grew without my mother; I am breathing without Geet n if you are in illusion that I need you than you are mistaken. Now go away from me I don't want to see you face ever again.
He stood by his words. Maan had promised to never see my face again n he didn't till my last breath.
Nine months I spent in regret of what I had done. How I had ruined his remaining belief. I accomplished to slaughter what tiny faith was left in him. Now he hated the word love and you too. It was my deed. I am sorry Geet. The love I wanted for me I managed to wipe that out. But what did I get in return, nothing. I was still where I was before. Those nine months were the like the start of my life in hell on earth only. Time would pass so slowly n my health deteriorated. Doctor wanted me to abort the child but I wanted it to come into this world. Not one more sin was needed by me. I couldn't take any more weight.
I have given birth to a girl. She is so cute; my little angel' at least something worthy came out of me. Although I regretted what I did, I didn't regret Jia. I told dad everything about the child n no matter how angry, he was my dad. He wanted me to be with him but I denied.
Maan initially didn't even see Jia and I had no complaints. It was justified. Her face would remind him of my betrayal n he didn't deserve anymore pain. So I was surprised when I saw him carrying her in his arms one night through the door. The smile on his face, I had totally forgotten he was capable of it.
After that I often see him with her n Dadimaa tells me how Maan take care of my angel. I just feed her n everything else is on him. I couldn't believe n have no idea how he got such a big heart.
Maan is an excellent guy, not many men have this strength in them. And he deserves all happiness in life, he deserves you. He could never accept me but he is accepting the little girl that is not his. He saw the little soul beyond me and that only has given me the courage to write this letter. Doctor has said that I would get better in a couple of weeks but I know that not much of my stay is pending here.
With his love is so mighty for you I know that someday you would have to come to him. Love like this couldn't go in waste. I have told Dadimaa, his happiness lies is you Geet. Dadimaa will search for you n one day you both will live happily. It's my belief n wish too. God won't deny the last desire of a dying person, I think. Always keep him happy n take care of my little girl.
Shreya
PRECAP- last one continues...
First of all a big thnx for the awesome comments n a special one to the spammers... U guys seriously rock😉.
Sorry for not bringing Maan in this update. But this part just got bigger n bigger. It took me all n all nearly 8 hours to type n edit this n it was one the most difficult things to write... I hope there are not many mistakes n I was clear with all povs n u guys are satisfied.
I shouldn't have updated today because you guys hadn't reached the target but since I left on a cliff that too so dangerous I updated😛 Next I will update after 25 pages only... If you all did it fast then the day after tom otherwise on sunday.
Please LIKE N COMMENT if u liked the update...!!😃
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