OS: Euthanasia...

I opened my eyes when the sun rays peaked from the tiny window.

What was left in my life other than watching these little things, that once I felt were just nothing?!

The light breeze is making the white curtains dance to it.

It seems to me that those curtains are dancing to the songs sung by the birds singing in the garden.

Oh!!!! I remember that there was a nest of little sparrow in the tree right next to the window...! I think eggs must have hatched by now. hmm... I will ask her to see that and let me know...

I slowly left my sleepy eyes wander around the room. Nothing had changed. The same room, with that pale color on walls... same bed with the off white mattress and the same painting on the wall behind it.

I can see her standing in front of the mirror and drying her wet hair.

Yeah there she fills her maang with the sindhoor.

I smile at her like I do everyday.

It has become like a tradition in my life.

Now she will come near me and wake me up by saying

'arjun utho naa... saat baj chuke hai...' I will not respond to her.

She will pull her hair back and water droplets will fall on me leaving me with no choice but to acknowledge to her.

"roshni, uthne ka mann nahin hai..." I said and pouted.

~~~~

"aaj bhi usse baat kar rahe ho sir?! You know, akele akele?!" I heard her voice.

Annoying little thing. She is just little to look at. She has got all strength in the world. Mark my words.

"aagayi riya tum? Kyun itni subah aake mere aur roshni ke baton ko kaat ti ho?" I asked her.

"yeah Arjun sir. I know. But kya karun? Its my duty that I come here at this time. Dekho. If you want to talk to her little more then get up early ok?! As I am not going to change my schedule for her alright?!"

How dare she talk to me like that? That too about me and roshni?!

"RIYA!!!!" I growled at her trying to scare her.

But she was staring at me like it was nothing!!! Doesn't my voice scare anyone anymore?

Yeah that certainly does. Cos Shree, chotu are still scared of me...

I heard her voice again bringing out of my inner thoughts.

I am forced to listen to her.

"I know I know and I am sorry Arjun.. but seriously. Aren't you tired of her? I mean... itne saal hogaye hai uske gaye hue aur tuum aaj bhi usse utna hi pyaar karte ho jitna pehle karte the? How?!!"

Was it even a question to ask? She was my life... my breath... her memories are the only thing that drives me towards life... and here she is asking me how can I love her...

"why aren't you tired of me riya?"

She did not answer my question immediately.. I know the answer but still...

"why did you leave ETF?? Why are you here for me? With me? Bolo!!!" I know I am probing her, but... I need to know..

"simple Arjun... cos I loved you, love you and will love you.."

Her words were simple, straight and held all emotions in them. Have I ever missed the look in her eyes when we worked together? I knew it back then and I know it even today. But we are not meant to be together. I am not the one for her and she is not the one for me.

"The same reason riya... I loved roshni, still love roshni and will love roshni..."

I can see the range of emotions flowing across her face. She masks those well behind those dimples of hers.

"Got it... now if you don't want me faint because of the dirty smell coming from your mouth, can we brush?!"

There starts my torture. Its effing..

Don't start wondering how on earth I have started using those profanities... all i can do is say them in my mind cos both of my ladies hate those... yes my ladies...roshni, my life and riya my life line..

She came near me and helped me up, holding my shoulders. Eff. I can't even brush on my own.

Shalimar... That is what she smells. She still dresses like what she used to. Pair of Jeans and shirt.

She still has the same charm, same smile... but yes... those tiny wrinkles around her eyes betray her age...

Here comes another torture. She won't give me my cutting chai as doctor says it is not good for me. Well what she does not know is I have Shree and chotu by my side. They bring cutting chai for me when they visit...of course, without Riya's knowledge.

Eww... I hate this soup... dammit!!!!!

Series of tablets to follow. After that a warm soothing bath in the tub. Aahh... I can't wait for it.

...

"riya... can I have head bath today? Its been a week..." I asked her. She saw me sternly, before blessing me with that charming smile of her's.

I was in tub, in warm water whose temperature was slightly more to be called warm. She came over to me and pulled out a chair, placing shampoo and conditioner on the floor.

She slowly let the water flow through my hair, fingering it slowly, massaging the scalp.

"Arjun, aapke baal... uf... they have grown too much so has your beard. Main aaj Shree se kahungi ki jab wo aayega to barber saath le aaye..."

"chodo naa riya... mujhe kaun dekhega. Agar iss ghar se baahar jaau to koi mujhe dekhega naa..."

I heard myself saying. Yes. What was the use of all those thing now? I would be just lying on that vast four poster bed all day and night, sans the time riya puts me wheel chair, take me out on tour of garden that she tends.. The only connection to the outer world is the gadgets that Shree gets me.

Yep... he is no more JUST tech expert in ETF. He owns many patents for many gadgets and modern technologies he has invented.

His little son is just like him. gadget freak...

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Wonder when he will be coming...

"kyun? Main nahin hun kya yahan? Har roz ye chehra dekhna hai mujhe... I want to see that handsome face which was before Arjun..." her words brought my thoughts back on track.

"tumhe mera ye look pasand nahin hai kya?? Pehle to bolti thi ki you like that rough look on me!!!" I smirked.

I know... I love to leave her speechless. That's what happened now.

"nahin...wo... main..."

I laughed out loud... she smacked my head and washed off the shampoo and started opening another bottle. I guess it must be conditioner.

Why does this woman experiment all those new brands on me?! I cant even say anything to her cos she will get all upset.. I don't want that. I am troubling her more than required... but I don't want that anymore...

Arjun... hogaya... I ll help you out now... arre...!!!! sharmao mat.. aisa kuch nahin hai jo maine nahin dekha..." she was grinning at my expressions.

I let her pull me out of the tub. I was immediately wrapped in towel and I thumped on my wheel chair..

"Arjun sambhalke..." she held me before I fell. She made me sit properly...

"agar main gir bhi jau to mujhe dard nahin hoga riya and you know that..."

Tears pooled in her eyes. Dammit I did it again. Made her cry...

"hey sorry... I did not mean to hurt you oki..." damn!! I cant even move my hand to pat her back and console her.

"you know naa Arjun. Jab aap aisi baatein karte ho mujhe accha nahin lagta..."

"I don't feel anything, that's fact riya... there is nothing that can make me regain my sense of touch."

"phir bhi... you need not bring it up oki!!"

I have to relent to her. No other option. But it feels good... that some one is there to take care of me... if it was not her, I would be lying on a bed in some hospital...

"which dress you wanna wear Arjun?"

"I glance towards the wardrobe... she fills it with new shirts and pants every now and then.

"koi bhi chalega riya... you know, I don't really care..."

"no problem. Main aaj pink mein hun to even you will be... waise you look cool in baby pink..." I laughed at her expressions.

She dressed me in the dress of her choice and made me lie on the bed. She switched on the tv and left me by myself. She was working as research analyst even today, but was staying with me most of the time. May be she is off to deliver some information to the ETF.

These are the moments I have to think about myself.

Who was I? Once the super cop, ACP Arjun Suryakant Raute, who the criminals feared. The person who was ruthless, emotionless, person with i-care-a-damn attitude...

What am I now? a patient who has severe medical complications? A person who can never walk or move hands!! A person who needs help even to pee... who does not know when he is hungry, when to pee!!!! I want to laugh out loud, scream at the world, throw things... but I cant... I get tired if I speak continuously for more than few minutes. But I must say... my brain still works in its wavelength.

I speak to people through those gadgets Shree gave... I motivate them but... but I feel those words are just hollow. I myself have no hope or wish to live. I don't want to live but death doesn't come to me.

I would be better dead when I had faced sikander. It would be better than living like this.

Last thing I knew was something hard hitting on my lower neck and lower back. I could see sikander dead and sameer yelling my name. I could faintly note I was lifted off ground and his worried voice. Then... everything went blank...

"hey Arjun... kaise ho? Ye kuch evidences hai, aur crime scene ka video. Ek baar dekho kya dikhta hai tumhe... arjun's vision..." sameer chuckled...

He was soon followed by his wife Aisha and then by Shree, chotu, liza.

It was their routine... any important case, they would visit crime scene, record everything and then bring to me.

I know... they do not really need my help, but to make me feel better and wanted, they would. This was known to the commissioner and the seniors... they never objected.

"sam... tujhe sach mein meri madad chahiye ya..." I trailed off leaving the rest for him.

"Arjun..." he kept his hand on mine and helped me sitting.

"dekh... you are still part of our team for us. You were never away. You are and will be integral part of ETF. Ab samjhe yaa...samjhau?"

He chuckled at his words and I gave him a weak smile. Shree started the projector and we all went through the videos. I was watching them carefully, trying not to miss anything in it.

I gave them the information that I inferred. They all left assuring that they will be back as soon as the case was solved.

I could not hold myself back and asked sameer

"sam... bacche?!"

He turned around and smiled at me.

"shaurya aur sheetal, prateek aur naina ko leke aayenge school ke baad. Aaj results hai naa, to lene gaye hai sab bacche..."

I smiled at him and nodded my head. He bid bye and went out.

Shaurya and sheetal... sam and aisha's kids... they are 13 and 10 respectively now. both perfect blend of sam and Aisha. Shaurya has same color as that of sam. He always complains to me that his friends tease him calling him angrez... sheetal is calm, understanding and sensible amongst the two. Prateek is just like Shree. Curly hair, with specks and mostly involved in computers and other gadgets much to liza's annoyance. Sheetal ka classmate hai. Donon ki khoob jamti hai... naina, chotu ki beti jo unse do saal choti hai uske liye over protective hai teeno... ek perfect family...

Bohut kuch hogaya sikander ke encounter ke baad. Bohut kuch. Jab main utha to pata chala ki main iss duniya se 13 saal door tha. I was in coma for thirteen long years. Doctors ne bhi hope chod diya tha ki main waapas aaunga. But they could not remove life support as per rules and sam would not let them to.

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Jab hosh aaya to main iss duniya se 13 saal peeche tha. Agar ye bacche nahin hote to shayad main kab ka... aur ab... coma se baahar aane ke 5 saal baad, living completely dependent on others, esp on Riya.

Government fills my account, and also riya's as she works at two places. She had strictly said no when department wanted to hire a nurse for me. She herself took my responsibility.

Riya mukherjee... or should I say, Riya Ganguly, wife of late Ritvik Ganguly! The person who left her alone in this world after promising to be with her for seven lives... he had promised her happiness but died after a month of their marriage after getting himself drunk! riya has endured a lot in her life... but... she masks everything behind that smile.

There she comes again... bringing that yucky soup back.

"Arjun... soup time... no! don't make those faces. I am not going to melt today... jaldi muh kholo... aaahhh"

I obeyed her just like a obedient kid. I was almost like her kid from past 5 years. She was like the mother I had lost long back... she helps me brush, feeds me, baths me, care for me... I am her baby in a way..

I quietly finished the soup she was feeding me. She wiped my mouth and kept the new screen in front of me.

I spoke and it recognized my voice. It followed every instruction of mine... yap. Shree's exclusive invention for me. The disabled Arjun, me!!!

I opened my blog and saw many people posting their questions, asking guidance.

I answer most of them. Wondering how can a person who cant move his hands an inch?!

Well, thanks to Shree. The machine recognizes my voice and transcribes into written words...

May be half n hour passed and I heard a loud honk outside.

Soon reached my ears loud voices of 4 kids.

I don't know how time passes with them. They are soo charming, intelligent, that I can spend hours with them with out being tired.

I too had a dream once of having a family, my own kids, about twenty years back.

I and roshni had dreamt of having kids but... fate snatched her away from me brutally, also my dreams.

Then I was developing feelings for riya. I don't know what to call them. want for a friend or Attraction. I can't name it though...

I wanted to live. But... again fate gave me a life worse than death.

I don't wanna complain about it, but again I don't want to live.

"arre baccho... aagayee tum log? Dekho maine kya banaya hai! Chocolate pastry...!!!!"

"riya mere liye nahin hai kya?" I asked her.

"doc aur liza se permission letter lao to khilaungi. Ye bacchon ke liye aur mere liye hai... kyun bacchon?"

"lagta hai mere zindagi mein ab bas wo tasteless soup aur wo kadhvi dawai hi hai.. koi baat nahin. Aaj mere bacche class mein top kiya hai to unke liye unka favorite pastry... yay!!!!" I tried to fake enthusiasm, fearing I would fail at it. I saw five faces with frown. Soon I was suffocating.

"baccho chodo usse... he will choke.." it was riya trying to tell kids not to hug me too tight as my weak body cant tolerate it.

Soon they released me, and started blasting me

"chote papa, aap ko naa, papa se kehke acche se daant khilaunga main."

"haan bade papa... main bhi dekhti hun ki aap aage se kaise aisi baatein karte ho"

Those were shaurya and naina. They all would call me bade papa and chote papa.

Zindagi bhi kya cheez hai na? mujhe char char bacche diye jo mujhse pyaar karte hai. Mujhe apna maan te hai... they love me a lot.

"bade papa... ye dekhiye. Ye dad ne banaya tha naa? Maine isme thoda modifications kiye hai. Motion sensing jo hand movement se kaam karta hai, maine usse head movement sensor bana diya. Now you can use it easily...

Prateek showed me his new finding. He is truly gadget freak and through and through Shree's younger version.

Sheetal was with riya helping her in bringing out the cake and refreshments.

They all gathered around me, having pastry.

Each kid made me have a tiny piece of pastry.

"tumhare haathon mein jaadu hai riya..." I praised her and wait... is that a blush I see on her face?! I guess yes...

Kids were at my place till night.

My ETF family came during dinner time with dishes and all spent some time at my place. Sam sat next to me and chatted like old times. Raute Rathod long back forgotten or I can say left behind.

I had heard him calling me Arjun again when I was falling after sikander's encounter.

He had tried every specialist when he got to know I was disabled for life. But all went in vain. I had severe spinal injury that could not be repaired and I was dependent on others for life.

I had accepted my fate long before him.

But it would always hurt to live like this, for a person like me who never took help from any one, lived the way I wanted...

But this is life. I waved at them mentally when they left to their places and then riya came.

She slipped me out of my clothes and made me wear night gown.

She gave me my pills and and tucked me in.

I let her kiss my forehead and then she switched off the lights except the one above roshni's pic in front of my bed.

"good night arjun..."

"good night riya... pray I don't open my eyes tomorrow morning..." I grinned at her.

"I will never Arjun. So wait for me tomorrow morning help you brush. Now sleep..."

She went to her room, on the 1^st floor.

I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep thinking about one possibility to end my torture...

Euthanasia...

the end

Originally posted by: Mishti_k5

Pari yeh ideas kaha sai leker ati ho??

Awesome,superb

I hv no words 4 u 4 praising

U make speechless pari

Bt ik baat Mai kehti ho Hatts of to u

Love u

Mishti

Originally posted by: Radhika Shah

Really nice

Originally posted by: _TaNi_

Pari HUGS

ur munching our brains is awesum

i m in love with d story ...it was very beautiful

Reading works in first person is sumthing i alwasy luv

n wrote it beautifully

Arjun n ria's bonding is nice

his way of seeing the world was amazing

a very beautiful idea

n do write more hun😊