Originally posted by: BarunDiwani
Friendly Disclaimer: My words, thoughts ideas and edited pics are mine only, please do not copy. You are welcome to use it, but credit accordingly. Thank you!
Episode 122: The pursuit of Sakoon (Peace)
"Unki khanak mein itna sukoon that, ki saare din ki thakawat uttar jaati thi"
" So much peace lied in those kangan that it took away the whole day's fatigue"
Arnav Singh Raizada reached unbelievable heights, heights that perhaps he wouldn't have strived for had it not been for this one tragic even in his life. The loss of his mother. He has everything, but the one thing his mother took with her...his "sukoon", his peace. Clearly this man is starving for this peace and perhaps that fatigue of this life never goes away either. The effects of losing his mother, are tremendous on this him
If ASR was a bollywood fan (which he is not), and he was watching the famous exchange between Vijay (Amitab Bacchan) and Ravi (Shashi Kapoor) in the movie Dewaar, he would undoubtedly side with Ravi.
Vijay: Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, paisa hai...tumhare paas kya hai? (today i have a big house, a car, money, what do you have??)
Ravi: Mere paas Maa hai! (I have Mother)
For some reason this famous dialogue popped up in my head. Yes money is important to him, it defines him, but would he have been so driven to believe that Money = Power if his uncle and this "Bedard Duniya" (heartless world) hadn't left his to fend for himself and for his sister? and even today if given the option his fortune or his mom back, a heartbeat wouldn't go by in him choosing the latter. That sukoon is priceless and he knows it's worth.
Anjali had opened a box of memories when she opened the box that carried the Kangan (Gold bracelets) their mom had kept aside for her future daughter-in-Law. The Arnav and Anjali share their memories of the khanak (noise made by the bracelets) these two Kangan exuded. Anjali said when she would tuck them in, they would fall asleep just with the noise of the Khanak. Arnav who had been staring non-stop at them as she pulled them out and held them, adds fondly what they meant to him
"Unki khanak mein itna sukoon that, ki saare din ki thakawat uttar jaati thi"
" So much peace lied in those kangan that it took away the whole day's fatigue"
...the serene peace he can only try an obtain in his garden where he feels closest to her.
Anjali talks about their mother's excitement to put them on her daughter-in-law, as she put them in the box. And was a letter, a rather cute one as per Anjali.The bro-sis duo laughed whole heartily the time it was written but she tears up "tab hamme kaha pata tha, ki maa nahi, bas...bas ek chitthi rahe jaayenge." (How were we to know then that no mom, but this letter will survive)
Slowly she opens the letter, Arnav already filled with nostalgia braces himself. Oh this is hard for him, the constant swallowing, the involuntary tears.
"Hamare Chotey ki bahugena, waise to hum yeh kangan aapko khood hi pehnane wale hai, par aapko ek raaz ki baat batani hai, isi liye likh rahe hai, dhyan rakhiyega, aur sawdhaan rahiyega. Hamaare chotey ke naak pe bahut saara gussa rehta ha, aur dil mein dher saara pyaar, gussa bardasht karna aur pyaar sut sammit waapis lautana"
Translation "To our Chotey's wife, I will put these kangan on you myself, but wanted to tell you a little secret, that's why i'm writing. Be careful and be warned, lots of anger resides on my chotey's nose, and tons of love in his heart. put up with his anger and return the love with interest."
Truly, an adorable letter, only a mother could ask someone to put up with with their son's anger and return his love with interest. A jist of how well she know her son, and a bit of concern for his explosive nature too. She wanted to make sure her chotey wasn't misunderstood and loved to the fullest.
Hearing those words bring water to his eyes, most definitely he just misses her
"Aaj maa tumhe aaj dekhti to (if she could see you today) "
"Pehechaan bhi nahi pati mujhe!" he cuts in, a comment that contradicts his pride. The pride he always take in becoming Arnav Singh Raizada. Almost as if he feel he doesn't deserve the love his mother wanted to make sure he received.
Barun once again proves his talent by displaying the most detailed, complicated of emotions...for example the way he tried to control his tears just as he got up to leave, we could feel the the excruciating hurt from within. this guy is UNBELIEVABLE!
"Chotey!" Anjali tried to stop him, but he had to leave
Khushi walks in looking for Anjali.
She comes to a standstill at the sight of his tears, she's seen them before and knows they don't come easy. He leaves, she gets and answer from Anjali.
Out by the poolside, he stood silently looking up at the stars when Khushi enters to pick up the dried chilies. As soon as she walked in she felt his pain, she look up at the stars he was watching. She wanted to make it ok. But how could she break the deal? so she moves on to the chilies.
Ofcourse her mehsoos had given her away a moment she walked in. Without looking back he asks as if a little boy.
"Kya woh sach mein taare ban jaatien hai?"
Khushi freezes with a bit of shock. The man who initiated the "no talking" rule and held up his end when he was to explode on her at numerous times today, breaks the deal. and there is no "bahes"(tiff) the reason he came up with the deal. Just an answer to his question in her her own way.
"Baat sach ya jhooth ki nahi hai, baat yekin ki hai"
" its not about trueth or not, is about belief"
she steps beside him, he is no longer alone
"hamara dil hamse kaheta hai, ki woh taara hamaari amma hai, aur uske paas waala hamaare babuji...hamesha hamme dekh te rahe te hai,aur issi tara timtimate hai aur -"
Translation : "My heart tells me, that star is my mother, and the one beside is my father...the alwaya look at me and sparkle and"
He cuts in
"Kya woh hamme dekh kar khush hai?" (Are they happy looking at us?) how he carries every bit of that pain in his voice, he modifies his question
"Kya meri m-m-maa mujh dekh kar khush hai?"
"Is my m-m-mom happy seeing me?"
here was this man that brushed everything off as rubbish, ready and willing to believe anything this girl says as this moment. Khushi just feels for him, she looks at him. If he can't see her tears, she can't see him in pain. Just today she took a tall glass of milk after he ate that red hot mirchi daal out of spite. And this very second, she wishes there was a glass of milk to take away this kind of pain, she would run and get it for him.
He looks at her with so much desperation for an answer and a need for her to say "yes".
As she looks in his eyes, she has never seen them so vulnerable so in need. Barun some how physically changed their shape to shows this difference. Amazing!
The Arnav behind ASR. he has never opened up to anyone like this before, maybe because of the bond that night created when she let out all of her secrets and opened up to him. Here is a new level of the understanding between each other.
But,she can't answer his question, perhaps because she feels she can't tell the truth. How can his mother be happy when her son is in so much pain, everyday of his life. He notices her discomfort and doesn't push her, but a tear forming in her eye,
she excuses herself "Hum zara" and he turns back. Before leaving, she uses his words that always seem to soothe her. A small attempt at getting him milk for this kind of pain.
"Aap teek to hai na?"
"you are ok, arent you?"
Instant change in his eyes, the soothing at work maybe? Turning to his side, a slight nod from him...she wishes she could do more but leaves. He slowly raises his eyes to see her and the follow her till she disappears.
Why does he look at her in this way? does he get a sense of sukoon from her, his pain did seem to ease out a bit after she left. He allows her to soothe him, doesn't he? no resistance the normal ASR would have...after all he was taking sips of milk, thanks to Khushi's idea before Di came into his room for that box of kangan.
Also we never see him regret these moments like we do so many other times, here he doesn't feel like he's losing control...deosn't let that "farq" in the way this time...interestingly this is most open he has left himself to her thus far.
Unfortunatly Khushi never got to see or read the letter (in season 1's duration😉)...but that bit about "gussa bardasht (put up with his anger)" and "pyaar sut samit (Love with interest)", Thats what she does isn't it? many women of today were bothered by Khushi's constantly taking his wrath, accused of losing the backbone she once had, but now i understand more than ever why it was written that way. It was in her make-up wasn't it? to understand and "bardaast" the anger and to return all of his love with full interest.
Ofcourse in the future, she will be the one to wear those kangans and the one to finally bring him the sakoon that he so needs in his life. Also WIWY (thank you sauten!! 🤗) had pointed out the calming/soothing blue Arnav wore during the hospital hug, well here Khushi is wearing a similar calming/soothing blue. Its begging to be read too much into.😆 😆 (little did they know they'd find us, who could write an essay on every little thing, a blink, a colour, a tremble.) If they hurt each other the most, they are each others biggest healers.
for threads 10/11, i had written a small piece about how the stars play a role in this story, and made connection throughout including scenes from episode 122. Here is a little excerpt from that piece Written in the stars ( click link and scroll up)
How can we leave out the most precious moment the stars gave us? Khushi tells his picture "Chaliye muskuraaiye! chaliye! (come on smile! come on!)" and how, a gleaming, glowing smile brighter than the stars themselves slowly appears on Arnav's face as he look up to the sky, his true happiness beaming from within knowing that she'll finally be his forever.
It bought closure to the moment that started it all for me, If Khushi were here, she would finally answer him:
"Haan Arnavji, aaj aapki aama aapko dekh ke bahut khush hai"
"Yes Arnavji, today your mom is very happy seeing you"
DROOL CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
❤️ this! he feels better after Khushi star gazes with him ❤️ awww
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