SS: Of Lemons & Limes #4 (Chapter 17 - 19) - Page 14

Khushi looked up slowly as her eyes fell on the two long legs standing in front of her. Arnav Singh Raizada was standing over her with his full stature, his face unreadable. Without saying a word, he stretched his right hand towards her. She stared at the stretched hand for some time – the hand that had held her so many times, for so many reasons. What was the point in holding that hand? She stood up on her own not looking at his face once. She took a deep breath as her eyes rested on the slate blue shirt and cobalt blue tie peeping out of his dark grey jacket. She had to face him. There was no other way.

Arnav was sort of expecting her to not take his hand. Still it pricked. He forced out the feeling of annoyance from his system. It was not the time.

Khushi finally looked at his face – her face almost at the same length as his since she was standing on a step above.  She stared at him with a blank expression plastered across her face, her eyes devoid of any emotions. There was no way she was going to show him if and how much she was affected.

But her well-imposed indifference faltered as soon as Arnav removed his aviator baring his eyes.

Arnav had no idea that his eyes were betraying him big time despite his well-practiced deadpan countenance. His eyes were full of words more than ever, giving away a lot about his inner turmoil and fears. He noticed the slight change in her expression but had no idea what instigated that.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think people do in Mandir?"

"Why did you need to come here in the middle of the day, leaving your work?"

"I am done with work."

"This is still office hours, Khushi."

"Accha. So what are you going to do? Fire Me?"

Arnav was taken aback at Khushi's retort. He did not know how he was hoping her to react but he surely was not prepared for this confrontation.

Khushi was not his client. Khushi was not any other woman.

"If I want I can. But that's not why I am here."

"They why are you here, Mr. Raizada? Why are you wasting your time with me in Mandir?"

Mr. Raizada. The first sign. She was not happy with him. That's a progress.

"If I thought it was a waste of time, Khushi, I would not have been here. You should know me better by now. If you want to know the why's & what's, you will have to answer me first."

"I am not bound to answer you."

"Yes, you are. As the Head of AR, I can ask you any question related to work and you are bound to answer that."

Khushi's face by now was far away from being indifferent. Anyone could say, if nothing else, she was angry. And standing only, two feet away from her, Arnav could also see the hurt in her eyes, peeping through the stubbornness and rage.

Head of AR! Yes, that was all he was.

"I refuse to answer you, Mr. Raizada. I will answer only to my supervisor and that too, if he asked."

"Khushi, don't create any scene here."

"I am not creating any scene. You are. You came here. I did not ask you to. And even if I create a scene, what will you do?"

"Khushi, don't push me. I have asked you nicely why have you come here. Just tell me the truth."

"Why? Why should I tell you? What will you do if I don't tell? Are you threatening me?"

Arnav stared at her flushed face for a while. She was not going make it any easier for him. He knew what he needed to do. He needed her alone with him.

Khushi did not even get the time to respond and resist as Arnav suddenly scooped her and started going down the stairs with her in his arms. As she could process what was happening and the initial shock subsided, she started struggling.

"What are you doing? Let me go. Stop."

Arnav did not even look at her, his eyes fixed on his car. Khushi could only feel his arms tightening around her, firming the hold.

"Stop struggling, Khushi. You are not making it look any better."

Khushi could feel several eyes on them and she knew he was right. She stopped struggling but her body stiffened. She balanced herself with her right hand on his back and her left hand tentatively held the lapel of his jacket. Arnav's eyes immediately followed her hand on his lapel and then his gaze shifted towards her face.

Khushi Kumari Gupta suddenly seemed like an open book. A strange mix of emotions was evident across her face and her eyes. She seemed hurt. She seemed angry. She seemed helpless. Arnav looked away. He wanted to sort this out. He knew this much that he could not breathe with ease if she was hurting for him – if she misunderstood him.

Unknowingly, he tightened his arms around her soft form even more.

Under any other circumstances, Khushi perhaps would have let herself go in the moment. But right now she berated herself for still feeling the butterflies in her stomach – for smelling him desperately like an addict craving for drug - for the heart beats that were no longer obedient to her. When it came to him, her body simply did not listen to her at all.

Unknowingly, she tightened her hold on his strong form even more.

Arnav made her sit in the passenger seat and latched the seatbelt. He drove off without speaking a word and Khushi too did not open her mouth. After a few minutes, Khushi realized they were going towards neither AR headquarter nor her home.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere we can talk and not make a scene."

"We have nothing to talk, Mr. Raizada."

"You may not think so. But I do."

"Look. I have to go home .."

"I will drop you after we have talked."

After some fifteen minutes later, Arnav stopped the car in an open land which seemed like a barren property with rows of big, old trees and no establishment. He got down of the car, walked towards Khushi's side, opened the door but did not free her.

Khushi finally looked at him as even after a minute he kept standing like that slightly leaning towards her, not unlatching her seatbelt. As her eyes met his, she watched him blink.

"Why did you leave like that, Khushi?"

Khushi bit her lips. His question ran a dagger through her heart as she relived those moments .. that ground-slipping moment when it dawned on her what Lavanya Ji was telling her about Arnav Ji and herself… that heart-shattering moment when it occurred to Khushi that everything between her and Arnav Ji meant nothing.

"I .. I was not feeling well."

Arnav visibly sighed. He opened the backdoor and took out the gift box. He came near her again.

"Ye dekha tha tumne?"

Khushi did not reply.

"I asked you something, Khushi. Did you see it?"

Khushi swallowed.

"Haan."

"And..?"

"Aur kya?"

"Did you open it?"

"Haan."

"Did you like it?"

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters because it is yours, Khushi."

Khushi remained silent.

"Don't tell me you did not understand it was for you."

"Who would give me a gift? It must have been for someone else."

"Khushi, at least now, don't lie. Who else use a Jhola in AR for God's sake?"

"I don't know anyone in AR who would gift me a Jhola - in fact, anything at all. So there was no way I could take it."

"So you did not understand who gifted it to you?"

"No."

Arnav could feel his patience running out. He had been trying his best to sound calm and talk it out. But Khushi was not helping. He gritted his teeth.

"Stop lying, Khushi."

"I am not lying!"

"Yes, you are!! Don't you tell me you did not understand that I got it for you!"

Khushi heard him admit. Point blank. It was him. Really him. Arnav Singh Raizada really had left a gift for her on her desk. A tinge of happiness spread all over her but it did not balm her aching heart. He wanted to talk. So be it.

"And why would you do that?"

Arnav was breathing heavily after his initial lash out, his fists almost devoid of any blood. Khushi's calm voice suddenly stopped his breathing – his rage vanished in the air. His eyes shot up to meet hers. She seemed to have come out of her denial mode. And her face was stern with determination. She was ready to fight him now. He suppressed the smile that was trying to appear on the corner of his mouth. Now she would at least talk.

"Because I ruined your jhola the other day."

"That does not mean you will have to get me a new one."

"If I ruin something, I fix it."

"You are sure you can fix everything you ruin, Mr. Raizada?"

Mr. Raizada. Again. And Arnav did not miss her caustic tone. He did not know why he suddenly felt a pressure forming in his chest – his stomach vacuumed.

"Yes. I do what I say."

Khushi kept staring into his eyes and he did not avert too.

"Thank you, Mr. Raizada. But I cannot take it."

Khushi was expecting a "why" but Arnav did not take that route at all.

"Did anything happen that you have suddenly started addressing me by my surname?"

Khushi faltered. Who would ask a question like that?

"Well, I think it is the appropriate way to address someone of your stature."

"Okayy! But all this time you had a different opinion and did not mind addressing me differently. Why this sudden change of mind?"

"Just like that .."

"Is it because Lavanya told you something?"

Khushi faltered again. She could not hide her surprise. Her face gave it away but then she quickly composed herself. Did Lavanya Ji tell him? And even if she did .. what made him think she was affected by that?

"Nothing like that. She did not tell me anything."

"Lavanya told me what she had told you, Khushi."

"Lavanya Ji did not tell me anything that would make me leave office."

"I did not say that either. Why are you assuming I thought that?"

Khushi could feel she was getting flustered. Arnav Singh Raizada surely knew how to rock her world. In every possible manner.

But she would not give up. She would fight him. She would show him he did not matter.

 "Then why are you pushing me?"

Arnav could feel Khushi was breaking. He did not hide his smirk this time. He wanted her to know she could not lie anymore.

"Because I want you to tell the truth, Khushi Kumari Gupta .. That you knew it was for you, that you knew it was from me, and that you left without taking it because Lavanya told you something."

And Khushi lost it. How dare he talk like that? How dare he smirk like that? What did he think of himself?

"What do you think? That I did not take it because Lavanya Ji told me about you two? You think that is why I left? You think it matters to me if you are seeing someone? No it does not. Suna aapne? Humein koi faraq nahi padta .."

Arnav stared at Khushi with a strange emotion surging within his heart. It mattered to her. He knew it mattered to her. No matter how much she denied, his being with another woman mattered to her. He could clearly see her struggle to control the tears filling up her eyes. Those unfalling tears beckoned him to wipe them off.

"Khushi, it's ok."

His own soft whispers surprised him. He wanted her to calm down. He needed her to feel better.

"Of course, it is ok. Mr. Raizada."

Khushi snapped back. She would deal her heartache in the only way she knew. She would fight. And she would deny. She would not let him understand her heart and make fun of her.

"Dekhiye, Arnav Ji. I don't know what you are thinking .."

"Khushi."

" ..but I did not take the gift because I was not sure if it was for me .."

"Khushi. Listen.."

"I don't want to .."

And she became speechless. Literally.

Khushi went numb as Arnav shut her up in the only way he could think of. She could feel him pressing his lips against hers .. not teasing, not tasting, not cajoling .. just sealing it. Their bodies were connected only through their lips. Khushi's hands were lying limp on her side as she sat still, latched on the seat. Arnav was still outside the car with his hands resting on the exterior of the car.

When the initial shock subsided, Khushi started to struggle but he increased the pressure on her lips. She tried to push him away using her hands but he took hold of those using his own hands and pressed them against his chest. Her brain stopped functioning and it felt like he was sucking out every bit of frustration from her body. The tension in her body started to subside and she started to feel the tantalizing sensation flowing from his lips to hers. Eventually her struggle died.

Arnav could feel her slowly giving up as time passed. Finally, he could feel her body relax against his. And more than anything, he felt her defiant lips finally parting slightly against his – their locked and forced lips slowly being moistened. He could feel her lips slightly shivering as his own started to have an untamable craving. Suddenly he went back to the night before. The feeling of incompleteness came back. Before he moved away, he was tempted to finish what he had started last night but could not complete. The desire was too much to control even when the storm in their hearts was fiery and strong.

All his inhibitions flew away. Everything else could wait right now.

And he kissed her.

Just one open-mouthed kiss. Nipping his teeth into her lower lip tenderly, practically sucking out a bit of her as he slowly started to pull away. A moment of pure bliss. A moment of only them and nothing else.

Khushi could feel her complete being engulfed through her lips into something unbearable. She felt everything inside her came running towards her lips and joined into an explosion that made her body float in the air. She could feel her core exclaim, her blood running wild.

All her inhibitions flew away. Everything else could wait right now.

Arnav slowly moved away brushing his lips against hers. He could feel their heartbeats merged. Both their hearts were racing fast and the rhythm matched. His hold on her hands pressed against his chest tightened.

Khushi felt a poignant loss as the warm air caressed her lips. Her eyes refused to open and her whole body yearned to have that moment back. She could feel his heartbeat race crazily under her palms. And she could feel her own heartbeat echoing his.

He looked at her. Her breathing was uneven. Eyes closed. Her cheeks had tinge of red but her nose was redder. He could smell her lemon fragrance more than ever before. The smell cleared his senses, refreshed his thoughts. He moved a bit more away.

His voice came out in hoarse whispers.

"Ab sunogi?"

She opened her eyes and felt herself lost in a pool of coffee. His eyes had a yearning she had never seen.

"There was nothing serious between me and Lavanya."

He said without blinking once, staring into her eyes directly.

Khushi did not say anything.

"We just went out on a couple of dates."

Khushi still remained silent.

Arnav started to get impatient.

"We broke up today."

Khushi finally found her ground.

"If you were not dating her, why did you have to break up?"

Arnav looked at her eyes wondering how she pointedly reflected his own thoughts.

"We broke up as in we decided we are not going on dates anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Because I could not give Lavanya what she was looking for. I wasn't serious about her."

"And how did Lavanya Ji take it?"

"She took it rather .. well."

"A woman's heart is very fragile, Arnav Ji. It hurts more than you can see."

Arnav again felt an unfamiliar twitch in his heart.

"Khushi. I did not want her to have any wrong idea about us. And I also don't want you to have any wrong idea about me and Lavanya."

"Why does it matter what I think? It is between you and her. I am an outsider."

"It matters! I don't want you to misunderstand me!"

"Kyun? So what if I misunderstand? Aap ko isse kya faraq padta hai?"

"Faraq padta hain, dammit!"

"Kyun? Kyun faraq padta hai?"

"Faraq padta hain Kyun ki .. I …. I …... "

Arnav's voice got lost in the air. His reason remained incomplete. Did he really know himself why it mattered? Did he really know what he wanted to say? Did he really know why he was breaking all the rules for her?

"Say it, dammit," Devi Maiya exclaimed, "Just say it!"

A sarcastic smile appeared on Khushi's face.

"Dekha? You don't even know why it matters. Because the truth is .. aapko isse koi faraq nahi padta. You give a damn if a girl is heart-broken because one fine day you decide you are not serious about her."

Arnav was shocked to see her smile that way. And something inside him ticked. His rational thoughts ceased to exist.

"I asked Lavanya out because of you, dammit."

He barked.

And he felt relieved.