FF: Ishq Wala Love(LAST PART) 10.10.13 pg-136 - Page 49

Chapter 18

Putting down the coffee mug after having the last sip, he glanced at his wrist watch, it was getting late, he didn't have enough time to eat a proper breakfast. Pushing back the chair to get up, his eyes fell on the fruit basket kept on the dining table. A smile tugged the corners of his bow shaped lips on spotting an apple. Shaking his head he wondered how she used to relish an apple along with tea, till supriya replaced a glass of milk with the tea cup in her hands. Such an absurd combination still enjoyable by her. In fact everything about her was so different from him yet she came across as any other normal free spirited girl. Extending his hand he picked up the apple and bit his teeth into it, chewing on his bite he remembered the irritating noises she used to make while eating it. Sometimes he believed she did all that on purpose, just to annoy him. As per his daily habit, he dished out his cell phone to inquire about her while making his way towards the jeep. In five to six bites the apple was finished and so was he done with his breakfast.

Nakusha admired fondly the pink socks she had knitted, she was indeed a quick learner, something which even supriya couldn't deny. Holding the pair of socks in her hands she showed the work she had done in just five days to her teacher. Supriya brushed her fingers over nakusha's cheek and smiled before saying," jab woh paida hoga …toh sabse pehle main usey yahi pehnaungi." Nakusha bit her lower lip and imagined how the baby would look in these cute little socks. Taking the socks to keep them in the cupboard safely, supriya went to her room leaving nakusha behind in the living area.

Leaning against the bonnet of the jeep he dialed supriya's number and drummed his idle slender fingers on it. nakusha heard the cell phone ringing and looked around for supriya but she wasn't there. Through the corner of her eye she got a glimpse of the name flashing. It was him, his name starts with a 'D' and at least this much English she knew. Exact twenty days and she hadn't heard a single word from him. Rolling her eyes she attempted to ignore the call and began gathering her knitting needles along with the balls of wool. He exhaled an audible sigh as he impatiently waited for the call to be attended. Once again she glanced towards supriya's room, the door was ajar and her cell phone was continuously ringing. Seeing his name flash again and again made her heart beat loudly inside her chest. A part of her had this strong urge to pick the phone and speak to him even if in all these days he didn't bother or care to talk to her, still she desired to hear his voice…just once. Contemplating on whether to give in to her wish or not, her fingers opened and curled back slowly. He called up several times in a day and amongst all those calls he must've asked about her from supriya, her heart could vouch for that. Stretching her arm slowly towards the phone, she picked it up and hesitantly pressed the green button. Licking her dry lips and gulping the lump formed in her throat she said," sahab." His jaw dropped slightly and he straightened his posture. His brows furrowed and his eyes scattered the ground aimlessly as his ears tried to believe what they had heard. With bated breath she waited to hear his voice from the other end.

" sahab" she said once more. After what it seemed eons he parted his lips and said," nak.." when he heard," dutta ji." From the other side, the phone had been taken away from nakusha. Lowering her head she gathered her belongings and went out in the lawn.

Pulling a chair to sit she gazed at the sky above. It was a warm sunny morning. The bright sunrays hit her in the eyes, knocked her back and almost blinded her. Shutting her eyes she wondered, why after so many days he still managed to have such a deep effect on her? for so long she hadn't seen or heard him yet he succeeded to overpower her senses. After being away from him for twenty days, why couldn't she keep his thoughts also away from herself? What was with him that just a mere mention of him stirred these unknown feelings with in her? she believed that with the passage of time she'd clear all this confusion and get a grip on herself but…NO, it wasn't happening. Frustrated with herself she clutched the arms of the chair firmly and threw her head back.

Sublaxmi had seen how her faced dropped when supriya was talking to her husband. Coming out with a glass of juice for nakusha, she saw how disturbed and distraught she was appearing. Her heart went out to this young girl. Caressing her head affectionately, she offered her the glass. Nakusha opened her eyes and saw her standing, yes sublaxmi was still here after she'd accidently fallen down. The doctor had been called home the very next day and thankfully the baby was doing well however all was not well at sublaxmi's end. Supriya was extremely furious at the housekeeper and had made up her mind to chuck her out and she would've indeed shown her the door had nakusha not intervened. She knew how caring sublaxmi was and what happened was just an accident, agreed sublaxmi was a bit careless but still she deserved a second chance. It took more than a hour for nakusha to convince supriya, seeing the comfort level that nakusha had begun to share with sublaxmi she finally gave in but not after giving a stern warning that any further mistake on sublaxmi's part would ceratainly not be condoned.

Nakusha silently sipped the juice as sublaxmi sat on the grass with knees drawn close to her chest.

" bahut yaad karti hai usko?"

" kisko?" nakusha stopped in the middle of her sip and asked nervously as if she'd been caught.

" apne pati ko." Sublaxmi always felt that she missed her husband a lot.

" ussey toh kabhi bhool hi nahin sakti." The bitterness in her voice went unnoticed by her listener but what she said was true, her ex husband did occupy a place in her thoughts, how couldn't he after all whatever she was today was thanks to him, just that she preferred to keep him at the back of her mind.

There was a disconcerting silence between all the women of this house as feelings and thoughts were hardly exchanged. Everyone seemed to be content in her own world except for nakusha who did come across as a lively girl but still held back a lot within her and subalxmi believed that to enjoy the present nakusha needed to accept her past even if it was painful, only then could she move on.

" ussey kahan mili thi?"

" police station mein ..woh police wala tha."

Subalxmi was pleasantly surprised to hear that she was married to a cop, the image that she had in her mind of a police officer was totally different to what actually he was. The happiness that she felt for nakusha was extremely short lived as nakusha began narrating her past.

Flashback

Nakusha's step father, ganpat had lost Rs 7000 in gambling which he'd borrowed from someone and hence was taken into custody by the local police officer, Morey. Nakusha being a motherless child had no other option but to free her father from jail even if she had to pay a heavy price for it which was to get married to that cop. She wasn't given an opportunity to think, even if it was given still she couldn't afford decide otherwise. The person who she was getting married was nowhere close to her dream man but then from where she was coming girls could only had the liberty to dream without expecting their dreams to come true. He was much elder to her, still she went ahead with the alliance believing that her bappa would always be by her side and not let her down…how nave she was!

The very first night was nothing less than a nightmare for her. Do husbands behave like this with their wives? Do they crave for only thing? Lying under the sheets she glanced at her husband who had passed out after forcefully making love to her. Seriously, had they really made love? Was this LOVE? If couples make love like this then how do animals make? Her throat pained out of the screams that she'd let out which had fallen on deaf ears. Silent tears continued to roll down her eyes, she didn't know where she'd landed up and what more was in store for her.

After lighting the lamp before bappa, she folded her hands and closed her eyes, brutality inflicted on her last night flashed before her. She shivered and cringed at the same time. His alcohol filled breath nauseated her. His biting and sucking her skin, pricked her body at various places. She still felt sore and worn out. Opening her watery eyes she gazed at the idol helplessly. Slowly her eyes travelled to the marks he'd left on her. Even though she was imprinted by her husband still she felt so impure and shameful that she wrapped the end of the sari around to cover herself securely. She didn't know why but today she could not meet the eyes of her God, maybe she blamed herself for the atrocity she went through. Her lips quivered and her head bowed down in front of Him, it was just a bad night, she told herself.

After marriage women take time to adjust in the new house and environment, even she would soon get accustomed to these changes in her life. After laying down the dinner she waited for him to return. Her sleepy head dropped on the table but soon thereafter the door bell shrilled. Opening the door she found him leaning against the wall fully drunk. His roving eyes checked her from top to bottom admiring the scars that he'd left on her and making her believe that she was still all bare. Instead of him, she lowered her gaze as she couldn't bear to witness the lust that was oozing out of him. In an attempt to save herself she rushed to the kitchen on the pretext to heat the food. Standing blankly before the gas stove she failed to realize that the dal was now boiling. She carefully took it off the stove and came out to serve him.

" dal mein namak kahan hai?" he shouted at her. If she remembered clearly she had added salt , maybe it was less by his standards. She hurriedly brought salt and pepper shakers and began to add them in the bowl. She hesitantly looked at him after completing the task. He smiled and threw the entire bowl on her. She shrieked at the top of her lungs as hot dal burnt her skin. Without caring a damn about her newly wedded wife he stormed out of the house.

If she was shocked then that would be an understatement. The whole incident had left her senses numb. Standing under the shower she washed herself. Which parts of her body, the bitten ones or the burnt ones ached more she couldn't make out. Her simple dreamy world would change so dramatically she had never imagined. Changing into a fresh pair of suit she thought of applying turmeric paste on her wounds. She was about to do that when the door bell rang once again. Gulping the lump formed inside her throat she opened the door to him. This time he was all smiles…weird!

" chaliye nakusha ji khaana khaate hain."

The way he addressed her made her more nervous. Ever so slowly she approached the dining table and without daring to look at him stared at the empty plate kept before her. What landed on her plate shocked her completely. It was a piece of chicken. Being a pure vegetarian she wrinkled her nose at the sight and smell of that piece of meat.

"kya hua ..khaiye?" he asked after digging his teeth into a leg piece. She raised her lashes and saw him openly chewing the chicken. She breathed hard, no, she could not eat this.

" main yeh nahin khaati." She whispered through closed lips. The grin on his face vanished on hearing her words. Tilting his head to his right, he stared at her with dilated pupils. She clutched the chair firmly and dropped her gaze. The next moment he yanked the back of her neck and forcefully started pushing the meat inside her mouth. She attempted to stop him but he was relentless. The taste was disgusting, she couldn't take it and vomited whatever she'd had on him. He flared his nostrils, pulled her by hair and smacked her. The corner of her lower lip started bleeding, already in a state of distress, she winced in pain and tried to get up from the floor. The whole room was spinning before her eyes, she blinked her eyes several times to clear out her vision but he was not done with her. He held her and arched her head fisting her hair then banged it against the wall. She collapsed on the floor.

It was early in the morning when nakusha woke up. She didn't know what had happened to her. Pressing her throbbing head she tried to recall the events of the previous night. She remembered only till he had banged her head but what followed after she fell unconscious, she had no clue. She tried to get up but fell back on the bed. Turning her neck she found all her clothes discarded on the floor. Her eyes became the size of saucers as realization dawned on her. Clutching the bed sheet close to her chest she got off the bed, still in a state of daze she glanced at her reflection in the mirror. The beast in him didn't even care whether she was in her senses or not, all he wanted was her body and he happily relished her as if she was nothing more than a lifeless piece of flesh. She felt the blood rush down to the end of her arteries and burst out. The sight of herself, horrified her. Instead of her, the silent tears running down described how she appeared.

In one single day, everything fell apart and this was just the beginning of her married life.

End of the flashback.

Sublaxmi held nakusha's hand and sobbed openly.

" bus kar." She didn't have the heart to listen more.

Nakusha had narrated only one day of her past and sublaxmi was in tears, this was just the tip of the ice berg, what followed thereafter was even more traumatic. Her past was something she never ever wished to come face to face again in her life. With moisture brimming at the edges of her eyes, nakusha smirked inwardly, today she didn't wish to shed tears over her past. Standing close to her, sublaxmi caressed her face and buried it inside her chest. Nakusha simply shut her eyes and held on to sublaxmi, she didn't know why she went ahead and shared her bitter past with the lady. Moreover she wasn't even feeling light, her past was way too heavy for her delicate shoulders.

" chal andhar chal."

" nahin mausi …main kuch waqt akele rahegi."

Nakusha leaned her head back against the chair and closed her weary eyes. This time not only dutta but morey also flashed before her eyes. Unwillingly she'd shared a physical relationship with both these men. Although it was nothing but plain s*x yet it felt so different with both of them. Her husband was cruel and ruthless with her, though he also wished to be the same with her but couldn't. She was punished by her husband for only god knows what but with dutta she was aware why he desired to punish her, although it was another story that he ultimately ended up punishing himself. While morey was not at all remorseful for his acts, dutta was extremely guilty after that night. Till the day she left PN she could always see guilt floating in his dark pools. According to him, he'd wronged her but why she felt otherwise. She hated her husband to the core and loathed all the men who bedded her even if it was her profession but could never come close to even blaming dutta instead could take the onus of that night on herself.

The warm yet pleasant breeze ruffled through her hair, dropping a few strands on her forehead, brushing them away she pushed his thoughts aside as well. Enough of thinking about him and the feelings that she had for him. Sometimes she felt that attempting to decipher the emotions she'd developed for him was like sitting on a rocking chair, though it kept her occupied but didn't take her anywhere. Silence from his side and being away from him, had made her hollow. The more she thought about their complicated relationship the more miserable she would begin to feel.

" nakusha khaana kha le." Supriya called from inside.

Yeah having food was a good way of diverting her mind. She entered the house and walked towards the dining area, to her left supriya had made a small puja room, she halted her steps while crossing that room but didn't care to lift her head and look at the idol instead continued to stare at the floor before approaching the dining table once again.

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He didn't know the reason why tonight he was feeling really nice. Was it that after so long he heard her voice or was it tomorrow he would get to meet her (yeah, finally tomorrow he would go there unannounced and accompany her for the check up) or both. Slipping his hands in the pockets he lazily decided to have a stroll in the garden. The fragrant smell of the flowers refreshed his senses and sweet twittering of the birds was music to his ears quite like' sahab' that escaped her lips and still reverberated in his ears. Nobody other than her called him 'sahab' and whenever she did he felt a strange pull towards her as if somewhere he belonged to her or she had some right over him. Whatever it was he didn't care all he knew was that hearing from her after so many days, twenty days to be precise, he felt nice, her soft voice soothed his soul, even though nothing much was said or exchanged. Also what he felt was not one sided in fact if his mind allowed his heart to confess then even she was eager to speak to him, the restlessness in her voice couldn't be ignored.

He glanced at the view around, he couldn't recall when was the last time he walked in his own garden, the need to be with the nature never arose in him on the contrary he preferred to remain in his shell unlike her who chirped and let herself loose in his garden. Lifting his head he gazed at the mango trees, a smile adorned his lips, she enjoyed sitting on these trees while having mangoes. Moving further he spotted the swing, the same one where they both sat and chatted. Tonight once again he made himself comfortable on that swing. The cool breeze blew making him feel that the same breeze must've touched her, felt her at some point of time. Closing his eyes he rested his head back as somewhere far away a song played.

Kya jaane kyun hai
Kya jaane kaisi andekhi si dor
Jo khenchti hai, jo le chali hai
Jo khenchti hai, jo le chali hai
Ab yun mujhe teri ore

He didn't know what drew or was drawing him towards her, why his heart wished to derive solace from her words? why a sense of emptiness filled him when she left her?

Mann ab tak jo boojh naa paya
Tum wo pehali ho
Koi naa jaane kya wo rahasya hai
Jiski saheli ho

His mind couldn't figure out the mystery around her, around their relationship or probably still didn't wish to seek the help from his heart which had already solved this puzzle and had all the answers.

Jiya lage na tum bin mora

He turned his head and glanced at the place where she sat next to him. His arm stretched and his hand on its own caressed that spot. He sighed deeply and gazed at the stars above blankly.

main muskaau, sabse chhupaau
Vyakul ho din-rain
Kab se naa aayi naino mein nindiya
Mann me naa aaya chain

Nakusha stood near the window and leaned her head against the wall behind. Through her sleep deprived eyes she admired the stars and attempted to hide the pain and anguish that she was experiencing behind her green emeralds.

Jiya lage na tum bin mora

Wrapping her arms around her belly she dropped her eye lids hoping to see something different but alas this time too he captured her mind body and soul…heart was already imprisoned by him!

song of the update

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMInvVQFKrs[/YOUTUBE]

Thanks for reading

Rose