ArHi FF! Dante's Labyrinth: Thread 1 [Completed] - Page 6

Created

Last reply

Replies

1.1k

Views

188.1k

Users

119

Likes

4.5k

Frequent Posters

sairam03 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#51
Thank you for coming with new story. As usual very thrilled to read your update.
RockBarbie thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 8
Posted: 12 years ago
#52

Originally posted by: molten_lava

I'm reading your work for the first time. This FF was the first one that came up when I entered the FF forum and the title itself was intriguing to grab my attention.

And I'm impressed with whatever I read in the first chapter. A very innovative concept and something different and I'm always up for such things.
So here, Khushi is accused of murdering her sister but she claims otherwise and hence is put in a psychiatric ward for treatment and Arnav is a druggie sent in for rehab. Nice! And by the looks of it, Arnav already seems to be taking an interest in Khushi.
I can already foresee the future of these two. They helping out each other come out of their problems. Will we see both coming out of the hospital and unravelling the murder mystery?
so this is a thriller + murder mystery+ badass psycho Arnav + supposed delusional Khushi + hospital scenario = wonderful idea!👏
Don't send me PMs. I'll follow it on my own.😊



Thanks. I haven't decided if I want to go into murder mystery route again but its so tempting to repeat it...not sure as of now.

I can guarantee that it's not about helping each other to fix their problems. Realistically that's not possible in days or weeks. In this FF, they aren't very nice :=)
RockBarbie thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 8
Posted: 12 years ago
#53

Chapter 02: Sicilian Defense

"So, you are the sister killer everyone is talking about eh?" Khushi dropped her lunch plate on the table and ignored the voice of the woman who was following her since she had stepped into lunch hall.

"I guess I am," Khushi replied and offered a half smile to the girl who was probably her age.

"How did it feel when you held the scissors in her hand and rip open her stomach?" The girl asked again. Khushi turned to look at the girl and saw nothing but curiosity on her face.

"You wouldn't understand," Khushi said unkindly. "What's your name?" She asked shoving white goo in her mouth and commanding her facial muscles to remain still and not contort in disgust. She didn't want to talk about the murder so she blatantly changed the subject.

"I am Payal. Your name is Khushi, correct?" She asked in one breath. One spoon of food in her mouth, Payal pushed the plate away from her. But she knew that she would have to finish everything on plate otherwise she would be in trouble.

"It's nice to meet you Payal. How do you know my name?" Khushi asked observing the people around their table.

"I was in the maintenance closet communicating with the alien I have befriended who knows about everything that's happening on this planet," Payal said in a conspiracy whisper.

"Your sarcasm is very charming," Khushi said bleakly and continued to eat the tasteless food. "What are you here for?" She wondered if it was indeed sarcasm or was Payal being serious. It was a house of madness so not being sarcastic was probably high up in probability.

"My parents couldn't understand or keep up with my mood swings. So they sent me here with a big purse filled with lot of money so that I am out of their hair and their lives." Payal shrugged.

Khushi didn't know if the girl was being sarcastic again or plain lying. Being a good liar herself she knew to look for telling signs on the faces. But being locked up in a psychiatric facility changed people more than the outsiders thought they were capable of.

Khushi was about to reply but held her tongue when two men joined them at the table. Payal waved at both of them over enthusiastically. Khushi's eyes were however transfixed on a man who wore a red veil on the backside of his neck which was loosely tied at his throat. She raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled brilliantly at her.

"You are the new girl and Arnav here and I here are the sort of welcome wagon to pretty girls. I had to get into my costume to greet you. Since they have taken away my costume bar this cape, it was prudent to wear it and say hello." He said in one breath not breaking a sweat. "I am Akash. I have a secret identity as the resident crime fighter. I am a vigilante." He offered explanation noting her skeptical look.

Khushi smiled. "Why are you telling me about your secret identity? Isn't it against superhero rules or something?" She asked nonchalantly.

The man sitting next to Akash, who she presumed as Arnav, chuckled humorlessly.

Akash looked conflicted and the spoon in his hand was fisted tightly and his knuckles were turning white. She sat back in her chair a little and wondered if he was angry at her or himself. She tried to rectify her question before he blew up. He was already rocking in his chair the conflicts of his action already registered in his mind. "I shouldn't have told you. I shouldn't have told you." Akash started to chant and the rocking speed increased. Khushi screamed when Akash threw his lunch plate at her and lunged for her neck shouting at her. Khushi backed to a wall and stood there clutching the sides of her pants and staring at the dissolution of psyche. She ignored the blood trickling from her forehead as she watched a thoroughly angered Akash hurl words of violence at her.

Akash was held back by Arnav to stop him from attacking Khushi and within few moments, male nurses had caught him by his forearm and leading him away.

Khushi stared at the dispersing crowd few of who were muttering. Payal had disappeared in this mayhem but she was surprised to see Arnav sitting back in his place and finishing his lunch as if nothing had happened. He hadn't asked her if she was okay nor did he spare her a look of empathy. It was as if it was an everyday occurrence and he had gone ahead with the current task at hand.

It was only first day in the facility and she was already physically hurt. It made her wonder if she had to resort to physical violence if need comes.

Once she was patched by the head nurse and a stern warning not to agitate the inmates later, she found Arnav sitting in recreation room in a corner and staring out of the barricaded window. She let out a deep breath and walked towards him keeping her eyes on his table. He didn't notice her coming and didn't even turn his head when she pulled the chair opposite to him and sat noisily.

"Thanks for holding Akash back," she said sincerely. Arnav turned around then.

"I had to do it, of course," he said flatly. Khushi smiled a little at his charm. "He was disrupting my lunch," he added with the same flat tone and zero expression. Khushi's smile froze but she nodded nonetheless.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" She asked looking around inmates who were engaged in some or the other form of activity – playing board games, cards, reading a book, talking etc.

"I am playing chess," Arnav said.

Khushi raised an eyebrow. "I don't see a board." There was laughter in her voice.

It was as if Arnav expected that answer. "I don't need a board. I have my mind," he said smirking at her contained surprised expression. Khushi hid her emotions well but he was always a better chess player and a face reader. He had gently coerced three of his friends to join him in his search for nirvana using Ecstasy or whatever the latest flavor on the street was.

Khushi and Arnav stared at one another for several moments as if they were weighing each other. Khushi didn't know how far Arnav had gone to be delusion enough to sport a poker face. But seeing the way he had anticipated Akash's reaction, she wondered how much of his madness was truly insanity and how much was messed up beyond any point of repair.

"Pawn to E4," Khushi said leaning back on chair.

Arnav looked at her expressionless. "Pawn to C5. So you choose Sicilian defense; easy scoring, popular and not really hard or unique for that matter. Simplicity in this loony bin stands out more than eccentricity. What are you playing at Ms. Khushi?"

Khushi simply smiled. "Knight to f3. I am not playing at anything Arnav. I am just playing a game of chess."

"You aren't playing. You are recreating an age old defense tactic which any basic chess book would offer in their first ten pages." Arnav said not very kindly.

She raised an eyebrow at that. "If so then why are you sticking to the same tactic? Why don't you deviate from the game? Besides it's too early to speculate given there are only two moves made till now. Don't you think so?" She challenged.

She thought a shadow cross on his face – probably first real sign of an emotion – be it anger or annoyance but it disappeared as soon as it came.

"Pawn to E6," he replied not bothering to reply. She was startled at the calmness of his voice and his blatant refusal to rise to the challenge.

"What's Akash's story?" She asked looking out the window just like him. Being cooped up inside all day made her crave for warm sunlight on her body and soft breeze tickling her skin.

He shrugged indicating his disinterest in the subject. But she wouldn't budge. "What makes him believe that he is really a super hero?" She wondered aloud. "Is it delusion?"

Arnav stood up after one glance at the clock. "It's time for our treatment," he said with a malevolent smile.

Khushi stood up along with him and looked around the recreation room.

The moments of calmness was broken with a burst of chaos when the bell rang marking an end to their recreation time. Everyone knew what followed the peaceful time – saying hello to their personal demons and visiting hell for a cup of tea.

Khushi swallowed hard and tried to ease her hammering heart.

Note: The genre of this story will be...thriller/drama, I suppose. Arnav and Khushi aren't all that nice or innocent for that matter. That's probably enough to tell you how the story will unfold.

katunkka thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#54
Wow khushi encountered physical altercation the first day? that's crazy. Which makes me look forward to the next update! I expect this to be a ride and I'm excited! Bring it on!
And yay I'm first to comment
molten_lava thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 12 years ago
#55
Whoa! After your little word of precaution at the end, it does indeed seem that Khushi killed her sister? I'm not sure. I thought she was innocent but your warning seems to tell otherwise. But then, a person doesn't see herself needing treatment. So maybe Khushi thinks she is alright but she isn't?
I hope you get what I'm trying to say. Ur update is twisting my mind.😆

What I liked about the update was Arnav playing chess in his mind. Literally mind games.😆 And by the looks of it, Arnav seems to be clever especially with chess moves. He is a player. That's what I could deduce from the way he played chess.

So we also have Akash here, who really disturbed and gets violent when provoked. And on the other hand, we have Payal, who at first seemed friendly but runs away when she is actually required. Not really helpful people, but then we don't know what role will they play in this story.

In short, loved the update. Hope to read more. You've got me hooked to the story coz this is something where I cannot predict what would be your next update and that state of unknown excites me.
arnavbarun thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#56
Interesting update

So we have payal and aakash too

I thought khushi killed payal!!!

thanks for mentioning the genre


arshi21 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
#57
*gulp*

Its...nice but in a creepy way.

As in..they are beyond messed up.

I would love to see how this story will enfold after Velocity.

:)
Kishmish thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#58
This update has my mind all twisted up ...

Arnav plays an imaginary Chess game ...
imagines the board and the pieces in his mind ...

Khushi known as the sister killer ...

Aakash turns violent when provoked ...
Payal just a scared and curious inmate ... and communicates with the aliens ...

In short everyone's mind is in a tizzy ...

and your note at the end gives us an insight of what to expect from this one ... 😲 😆
Edited by Kishmish - 12 years ago
appy_12 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 12 years ago
#59
1:08 am. I just finished a three hour long chat with my sister, and came here well, just because. And saw the PM.
1:12 am. I've finished reading the chapter and the note.
1:13 am. I'm snickering like I've found treasure..
1:14 am. Haha!

Take it away, RB! I'll be here on this obviously edge of the seat kinda roller coaster ride. Hmm, but your stories aren't all that predictable, are they? Well, I'll be here anyway! :D

Ppah, so much for saying 'I'm not that regular here' in the first comment on Love, Inc. :P

Our characters are not all nice and innocent? *Snicker* *Snort* Okay. Ready. :D
Edited by appy_12 - 12 years ago
ShikhaKhushi thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
#60

God, RB!!! Where do you get such fantastic and unique ideas??? U have me hooked BIG time dear!!!

So they're in some sort of asylum? waiting for the story to unfold!!!

Related Topics

Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

1 months ago

Pyaar Ya Rebound? ~ Rumya SS [Completed]

Intro: Rudra fakes a relationship with his best friend Soumya to impress glamorous Bhavya-but ends up falling for the one girl who truly knew...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: desidillse

3 months ago

ArShi OS : Pyaar Ka Naghma {Completed} ArShi OS : Pyaar Ka Naghma {Completed}

[NOCOPY] P Y A A R. K A. N A G H M A. "Friends?" a little boy extended his hand towards a girl which she responded. They smiled and embraced...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

3 months ago

Student of the Year: When Love Lost Its Way [Completed]

Author's Note: Based on the Prompt by @JasmineRahul in Submit Writing Prompt Thread who requested for writing: The alternative version of the...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

3 months ago

More Than Enough ~ A Rumya Three-Shot [Completed]

Author's Note: Based on the Prompt by @oh_nakhrewaali in Submit Writing Prompt Thread who requested for writing: Character A has body image...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

4 months ago

Deewaniyat ~ A Jeenat Five-Shot [Completed]

Author's Note: Based on the Prompt by @Indulekha00 in Submit Writing Prompt Thread who requested for writing: A prompt for the mysterious lovers...

Expand ▼
Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".