Posted:
*Twirls her way into the forum and bum shoves Chandharmukhi out of her way*. 'Go Maar Dala for someone interested or better yet watch the movie 'His just not that into you'' . ANYWAY now that she has been taken care of, let us tackle this other concern I thought about whilst sitting on the toilet seat and contemplating about the mysteries of life. A wise person once told me (PFT more like Facebook memes informed me) that decisions about life is usually taken in the shower. But how come nobody mentions the toilet seat? I mean for how long can you sit and count the tiles, or basically count anything? How many long-delayed texts will you end up replying too? Do not even deny it. EVERYONE replies to long ass texts (which they were initially too lazy to respond to) during their intense number two sessions in the bathroom.
In fact, if I'm responding really quickly to texts my friends even have the nerve to ask if I am currently in the toilet because it makes no sense that the QUEEN OF LAZINESS could actually be replying so bloody fast. Gosh I must be a bad friend. Anyway why am I discussing toilets with you guys? How unattractive of me. Imagine if John Abraham, Arjun Rampal or any of my mentally arranged husbands were actually undercover members in the forum. Oh god. To any attractive people out there, I JOKE. I am a female and I will declare 'What is a toilet you speak of? Never used such a thing before'. Eh he.
SO back to the topic of discussion. How can we ever forget that a romantic scene cannot be intense or oh-so-hot if there is no 'corner-you-against-a-wall' sequence. I mean we have 'rain sequences' talked about and anticipated in articles and promos. But who are we kidding? EVERYONE ends up drooling and remembering the wall scene. I'm surprised there has been no articles announcing 'SPOILER ALERT - there will be a romantic song sequence with Asad shaking his shoulders and hips, then cornering Zoya against a wall. Both shaking their shoulders and hips to the music'. LMFAO! 🤣🤣
But the dramas are so cliche. I'm not going to lie or be a hypocrite. I drool when the hero corners the girl against a wall and leans very close to her face. *Intense pervert moment*. However I also find it hilarious that the heroines get lost in the heroes eyes. OH PULEEZE cut the crap. Unless the guy has a pair of green exotic eyes or really long eyelashes, ain't no reason to be lost in his eyes. I mean if I had a KSG kind of hero cornering me against the wall, first thing I'd be checking out are those biceps tensing. Hell, I'd probably lose control and corner him against a wall. He might even call the cops and place a restraining order against me. Annnd I just pictured myself in chains being dragged away from his frightened shivering figure HAHAHA. 🤣
ANYWAY I simply never get to the main point do I? Well I'm sure all of you have noticed that the 'falling-into-the-masculine-arms-with-100%-guarantee-of-being-caught' theory has been proven false. Well ladies and gentleman, let me reveal that the 'wall scene' is also a flop in real life.
Sawaan - The Flop Season
*The actual song pronounced it as Sawaan da luv seasun'
*The actual song pronounced it as Sawaan da luv seasun'
One amazing day, I woke up and realized that I was married to Jensen Ackles. Then my mum shook me awake from my open mouthed creepy exorcism of Emily rose looking sleep and told me that I am late for University. Cursing Uni and wanting to sleep, I assured her that I will marry a super rich billionaire and will attend upper class social parties with the housewives and play a deck of cards. 😈
Point is. I got a slap on the ass and was told to wake up so I did indeed. Little did I know that I had an upcoming wall scene sequence awaiting for my arrival. Firstly, I looked like dog poop that fine rainy day and despite brushing my teeth 100 times, I still felt like I could smell the garlic from last night. My crappy luck, I did not have gum with me either. I enter the evil building called 'University' and I grumpily questioned why everyone is so abnormal to be smiling early in the morning. I judged them all - Asad Ahmad Khan ESTYLE. 😈
My John-Abraham but more cuter version crush encountered me in the hall way. I get all goofy and crap whenever I see him. I even forget how to speak English. The intimidation is so intense that I end up actually being quite mean to him as well. 'Hi Samira' - he purrs, 'WHAT DO YOU WANT!' - I shout. LMAO nah not really but I greet him back but am still convinced I sound like a baseball has been stuck in my throat.
So I was leaning back against a random looking wall and he kind of came closer. My instincts of self defense arose and my eye was literally beginning to twitch.
Gorgeous-why-do-you-exist: I have an exam today. So have been studying for it.
Twitching-maniac: How was your exam?
Gorgeous-now-confused: ... I just told you I have an exam today. I haven't done it yet. What are you upto? *Attempts to forgive me for being stupid*.
Twitching-maniac-forgets-english: Oh just reading my reading. 😲😲 << I actually said that! 😳 (I do not want to live on this planet anymore).
To my relief he found it funny and was laughing quite a lot. Than as he laughed, he placed one arm on the wall and flashbacks of all the dramas I have watched came in black and white with the 'DOOSH DOOSH' background music playing in the air. There was no being lost in one anothers eyes. I was so self conscious about my garlic breath that I looked constipated in my attempt to shut my mouth. My jaws were locked tightly and I believe my nostrils were flaring dramatically from my attempt to keep the garlic away.
This is more like a horror story. The eyebrow ladies had threaded my sexy brows and I assure you I have VERY nice eyebrows #Sushmita Sen ESTYLE. But recently they screwed it up so bad that the front bit of my eyebrows had a bit of a bald patch. So not only did I have intense garlic breath but also an attractive bald patch in my eyebrow.
Was there 'Mitwaa ishq -e- pe zor nahin' song playing in the background? NOPE.
Did I look attractive and flawless like all the heroines? NOPE.
Did my breath smell as amazing as all the heroines who managed to keep the hero conscious and alive during the wall scenes? NOPE.
The only song playing was:
Point is. I got a slap on the ass and was told to wake up so I did indeed. Little did I know that I had an upcoming wall scene sequence awaiting for my arrival. Firstly, I looked like dog poop that fine rainy day and despite brushing my teeth 100 times, I still felt like I could smell the garlic from last night. My crappy luck, I did not have gum with me either. I enter the evil building called 'University' and I grumpily questioned why everyone is so abnormal to be smiling early in the morning. I judged them all - Asad Ahmad Khan ESTYLE. 😈
My John-Abraham but more cuter version crush encountered me in the hall way. I get all goofy and crap whenever I see him. I even forget how to speak English. The intimidation is so intense that I end up actually being quite mean to him as well. 'Hi Samira' - he purrs, 'WHAT DO YOU WANT!' - I shout. LMAO nah not really but I greet him back but am still convinced I sound like a baseball has been stuck in my throat.
So I was leaning back against a random looking wall and he kind of came closer. My instincts of self defense arose and my eye was literally beginning to twitch.
Gorgeous-why-do-you-exist: I have an exam today. So have been studying for it.
Twitching-maniac: How was your exam?
Gorgeous-now-confused: ... I just told you I have an exam today. I haven't done it yet. What are you upto? *Attempts to forgive me for being stupid*.
Twitching-maniac-forgets-english: Oh just reading my reading. 😲😲 << I actually said that! 😳 (I do not want to live on this planet anymore).
To my relief he found it funny and was laughing quite a lot. Than as he laughed, he placed one arm on the wall and flashbacks of all the dramas I have watched came in black and white with the 'DOOSH DOOSH' background music playing in the air. There was no being lost in one anothers eyes. I was so self conscious about my garlic breath that I looked constipated in my attempt to shut my mouth. My jaws were locked tightly and I believe my nostrils were flaring dramatically from my attempt to keep the garlic away.
This is more like a horror story. The eyebrow ladies had threaded my sexy brows and I assure you I have VERY nice eyebrows #Sushmita Sen ESTYLE. But recently they screwed it up so bad that the front bit of my eyebrows had a bit of a bald patch. So not only did I have intense garlic breath but also an attractive bald patch in my eyebrow.
Was there 'Mitwaa ishq -e- pe zor nahin' song playing in the background? NOPE.
Did I look attractive and flawless like all the heroines? NOPE.
Did my breath smell as amazing as all the heroines who managed to keep the hero conscious and alive during the wall scenes? NOPE.
The only song playing was:
When I see your eyebrows!
There is so much I would change
Because you have a BALD SPOT
and I don't like you the way you are.
AND WHEN YOU SMILE
The garlic breath makes me expire for a while
Cos girl you are smelly
Just the way you are.
😳
There is so much I would change
Because you have a BALD SPOT
and I don't like you the way you are.
AND WHEN YOU SMILE
The garlic breath makes me expire for a while
Cos girl you are smelly
Just the way you are.
😳
LIES. ALL. LIES! Wall scenes are not real.
Regards
Sammy.
Regards
Sammy.
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