Lakshman's Rekha- An OS- updates on pg 3 & 4 - Page 2

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varaali thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#11
Thanks for reading, PrincessRock776. So, how was it? Critical comments also welcome
varaali thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#12

Parts 1 to 6 here


PART VII


Lakshmana continued to roar at the top of his voice, "Must you go on and on? Here I am trying to tell you something but no, once you start speaking, there seems to be no end. Are you so much in love with your own voice? Is the respect you have for your husband?"


Urmilla lowered her face and turned aside.


Lakshmana took a deep breath to calm himself and continued, "What was I saying? Yes... we four brothers share a unique bond..." But, Lakshmana stopped abruptly as he looked at Urmilla.


There was a tear rolling down her cheeks and her lips were trembling.


Lakshmana felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He staggered backwards and slumped on the couch.


He had done it again. Lost his temper. That too, at his newly -wed wife. During their first ever conversation.


Lakshmana stole a glance at Urmilla. She was still standing, trying to hide her tears.


Lakshmana ran his fingers through his hair. How many times had brother Rama advised him to keep his temper in check. He had never succeeded. In fact he had never really tried. It was a joke among the brothers that if Lakshmana stood beside a pile of hay, the hay would go up in flames, such a firebrand was he.


Lakshmana slammed a fist into his palm. Was nothing going to go right tonight? He knew he should go and comfort her but he could not muster the courage. He sat still, his face buried in his hands.


Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Aryaputra" said a small voice.


Lakshmana looked up and got up hastily. "Aryaputra" began Urmilla in a quavering voice. "Please forgive me." She had her face lowered, but he could see tears flowing freely from her eyes.


Overcome with guilt, Lakshmana held her chin and lifting her face , wiped her tears. He found his voice was choked too as he replied "No Urmilla. It is I who should apologize to you. I should not have shouted at you. Will you forgive me?"


Urmilla held her fingers to his lips as if to silence him. "Please do not embarrass me, Aryaputra by asking for my forgiveness." She tried to smile and said "I am known to be talkative girl. My father used to say..." Urmilla stopped abruptly and blushed.

Relieved to see her smiling, Lakshman also confessed "And I am known for my temper..."

Both of them laughed.


PART VIII here

Edited by varaali - 12 years ago
Avatarana09 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#13
Varaali,Nice to see you continuing your OS on Ramayan Forum. Though I mentioned it on Mythological Masti forum, I would like to repeat it here; I really appreciate your work.
It's the first time I am reading such a written depiction of one's own figment of imagination on a historic character.
Lakshman has been my favorite in Ramayan. With Neil Bhatt playing the role, it truly has been a wonderful and renewed experience of knowing Lakshman. Your depiction of Lakshman is very much relatable as to how Neil has established the role in his own unique way.
Best wishes.
Edited by _Avatarana_ - 12 years ago
Geeshu thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#14
Hi Varaali, It's so nice to see your OS in this forum.. 😳

Wow..this is a wonderful OS... I love the way you portrayed Lakshman's dilemma...👏

Looking forward for your next update..


EXOL thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#15
wow Varaali what a pleasant surprise..😛
thanks for bringing this OS here...😳
I really loved the new update...
especially how lakshman is so helpless to control his anger
the last scene where they both are slowly opening up to each other was such a sweet scene...
too good
do continue ...
princessRock776 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#16
omg!🤣 this OS is funny I could have laughed all day😆
Transference thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#17
What a pleasant surprise Varaali ..!! Thanks for posting this OS here which is BRILLIANT..All the updates were brilliantly penned down each moment focussing on the gradual building of a relationship which will eventually lead to the ultimate sacrice.The apprehension of a soul tied to his brother and his duty and the expectations of a woman who completely surrendered herself to him..Wonderfully penned down.The USP is your dash of humour which actually makes me laugh .The slightest jabs and OMG the kind of guts required to blabber and call a spade a spade in the face of a man who is knwon for hsi fierce temper is PLAIN AWESOME!!>
COMING TO THE LATEST UPDATE..I HAD BEEN EAGERLY WAITING FOR IT!!
Another brilliant one ,and it is a known fact that a women's tears can work wonders and LO and Behold,the bravest and the fierce heart does melt with the warmth of her tenderness.Loved it totally!!Can't wait for the next update..WAITING ALREADY!!

superdil19 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#18
thanks varali
laxman rekha is my one of the best part from ramayan along with bharat-milap,ram-vanwas,sita swambar,surpankha,kishkindha kand,laxman shakti,meghnath-nagpaas,ravan-vadh... and many more uncountable part of ramayan.
i like whole ramayan and each and every scenes from ramayan thanks for nice os about laxaman rekha for maa urmila.
Edited by superdil19 - 12 years ago
varaali thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#19
Thank you folks for your lovely comments. Feels great. Will try to update the next part soon.

@Superdil- Actually this the rekha Lakshman draws for Urmilla...😊
superdil19 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: varaali

Thank you folks for your lovely comments. Feels great. Will try to update the next part soon.


@Superdil- Actually this the rekha Lakshman draws for Urmilla...😊

yes varali i read the os and i like your os about laxman rekha for urmila but actually i was telling about i like laxman rekha for maa sita.

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