His deep sultry voice whispers to me, "You are a desire I can't run from Madhu."
He reaches his hand up and gently brushes a ringlet of my hair from my cheek. As his finger trails across me and leaves my skin burning with a deep wanting for him. Leaning in closer with his body cradling me with the strength of him, he softly says, "Nor will I try to run from."
I wanted nothing more then for him to take me. His gaze burns through me and finds the core of my heart igniting it into an inferno. Am I his desire? How could those big brown eyes do so much to my body in a matter of seconds from across a room? It scares me to think what might happen if our lips were to ever touch.
When I close my eyes I can't help but think about his body pushing up against me. The power of his presence from behind me makes my body tremble. He knows it too. I felt it. His breath deepened in my ear and left me in a poised state of waiting. Waiting for his words. Waiting for his touch. Waiting for his kiss. Is this what happens to lovers? All the confusion. The desperate longing. The need to feel something for him...anything. I want to scream stop and at the same time cry out for him to touch more of me.
"Madhu, you have never been kissed before have you?" Was I foolish for shaking my head no. Should I have tried to convince him of a false? Does he care if I have not?
"RK-"
"Sshh," he whispers.
His lips graze my neck so very softly. It causes me to wonder what his warm moist tongue feels like elsewhere on me. He then trails them up to my ear and whispers,"Now you have." A rush from the cool night air fills the space where his body just was. I should have called out to him to come back but I was confused. I have never felt this way before. The smell of him when he draws near paralyzes my words. The very though of catching his eye thrills and terrifies in the same moment. How can I possibly want something so desperately and be frighted by what he may deliver onto me. My mind races to make sense of the moment while my body screams for him to touch all of me. My heart cries for him to embrace me tighter.
The notion of never being able to feel this way for another second in time causes distress within me. He has captivated my soul with his words, his gaze, his touch. How am I to turn away from this? Is it real? Is what I see in him real?
My fantasies of him are growing more intense. The added reality of what I now know has mixed with the desire of the unknown.
"RK," I cry out in a moment of pleasure. It is a torturous fantasy that plays with me nightly.
I can no longer face him without my cheeks burning. All the sinful fantasies from the night before play in my mind as he gazes at me. I feel so foolish thinking naughty things of him in his presence. I must leave soon. Tomorrow I will spend the day avoiding him and then I will take my leave. There is simply no other way. For if I do not...I will give into this lust I hold for him. I feel, no, I'm scared I will only be left with a broken heart. Desire and lust are not love.
Madhu lay in her bed thinking of what she shall say in the morning as a reason to leave. She suddenly sits up and says, "My Diary." Jumping the four feet down to the floor, she takes of swiftly walking towards the stairs. Panic is welling up within her. She knows she had left it on the window seat earlier and curses herself for doing so.
Making it down the two flights of stairs to the main floor, her walk now turns into a run. The room is all the way in the back of the estate where no one ever visits. The halls are dark with only spots of silver moonlight to illuminate her way.
She stops dead in her bare feet on the wood floors as she sees the glow of candle light from the crack under the doorway. "Oh God...no," she managed to pant out. She reaches out and turns the door knob.
RK turns towards her with the Diary in his hands. She stands before him in her pale pink night gown breathless. Stands of her thick long brown hair blow from her face with every exhale. The deep pink color of her cheeks warm her creamy soft skin.
Madhu backs up from the doorway realizing he has read it all. He sees the embarrassment flood her eyes open wider. She turns and begins to run towards the way she came.
"Wait Madhu, wait!" RK tosses the book onto a chair and takes off after her. She has a good head start but not good enough. RK soon catches up to her and grabs her by the arm spinning her body towards him. "Madhu please stop." He sees the tears glisiling in her beautiful Hazel eyes.
She pushes against him. "Do not do this RK. Let go and let me be."
He Says " if I let go I may never hold you again"
Madhu Says " then hold me forever"
RK looks at Madhu thinking does she really want this he places his hands on her waist, Madhu closes her eyes slowly that burning desire rushes through her body her breathing speeds up, RK holds her tightly by her waist .. she grabs the collar of his shirt tightly she breaths and says
" I cant"..
RK replies with his cheeky grin " not what you said in your diary"
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
