SS-Life partner,CHAPTER12-PG142DEC.9 - Page 27

"Tear" is the most mysterious liquid in the universe.It resides in one's eyes but is born in one's heart. Though it is transparent in profile but motive behind its arrival appears sometime opaque. It can be your companion in your grief,in your frustration,in your regret,in your mistakes,and strangely in your happiness too. Geet was unable to decipher the nature of her mother's tears. Sometimes they flowed freely.Sometimes they remained as a sheer film of moisture inside the eyes..but they had accompanied her mother in each moment, in every single ceremony after the fateful day when geet's marriage date was fixed.She wanted to ask.."when it hurts so brutally then why are you sending me away???" but slight smile on rano's lips amidst the strange presence of salty water in eyes had stopped her always. She had named the unique act "happy crying",though it was bothering her to the core. However geet's crying sessions were confined in bathroom walls. Strangely her tears depicted only immense sorrow of leaving her parents ,there was no happiness involved like her mother.She was not unhappy with her marriage but "happiness" too was not able to make a room in her heart yet. It was a regular affair for her to watch rano doing preparations with "happy crying". But site of her father crying with her childhood pic in his hands,tore her heart. It was first time when she had seen her father,the rock solid figure in her life,getting weak..It perturbed her entire existence for a moment.. She wanted to hug him..to soothe him..cry with him...but her limbs became frail..air caused suffocation as she felt the urgency to leave the premises at once..

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She was in her new "crying territory"...bathroom..After shedding pools of tears,she grabbed her toothbrush for brushing her teeth before going to bed..Tooth paste was red claiming to have some invisible mouth freshening crystals. She sighed.Everything was acting like a reminder that day...

3 years old girl enters in the bathroom held securely in the strong arms of her father. Her eyes are drowsy. Father places her on the counter near the sink and pats her cheek.."open your eyes,geet..we will brush our teeth together,look your mumma has brought a tooth paste today.."Girl slowly opens her eyes to look at new object..She finds the tube similar to previous one.."Its shame.. daddy"..Father smiles and squeezes the tube. Girl is amazed with bright red colored gel..She claps in excitement.Father brings the brush near her mouth."I will do it myself"girl stops her father. Girl takes brush in her hand and mimics her father. She finds difference in taste but inner cervices of her mouth tingles due the extra amount peppermint in tooth paste.. Soon tingling turns to burning which makes her eyes teary.She immediately spats the "pink colored"froth in the sink."Brushing.. not good..daddy"She grumbles to her father. She has stopped brushing and waiting for her father to spit pink annoying froth. But to her surprise,daddy spits white colored froth. Girls eyes widens with surprise because of change of color... Her daddy is a magician ,she thinks.."Magic" she yells...

Geet chewed her brush for a while and spat "pink colored' froth..."magic"she mumbled under her breath with a smile..Tears again chocked her throat.. No magic in the world could reverse your life.

Sleep had left her eyes long ago .She was tossing in her bed with a heavy heart. She got up from the bed and made her way towards window.Chilled wind caressed her face as her mind contemplated to go for a walk.Clock was showing half past nine only. In a hurry,she changed in to hoody with black track pants and came down. Ground floor was full of relatives. Some were sleeping on the mattresses laid on the floor.Some aunties were busy talking to rano in a group. Whole scenario was exactly presenting the status of " Indian wedding house"..full of people but she felt lonely.."mumma i am going for a walk" she yelled and walked outside with speedy steps before her mother could stop her.

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It was the night of ending November marking the onset of winters. Dryness in the air was proven by dry chapped lips. Yellow sodium lights were giving golden glow to environment. She was walking with heavy steps. An abrupt feeling of "separation" penetrated her insides as she looked around her. Houses,road,street lamps,trees,every single things claimed to be her own. Her heart felt guilty to leave them. Fresh tears were flowing down her cheeks as she entered the colony park and perched on the cold iron bench. Bench was fixed in its position since her childhood. Geet had not seen any change in it except its color. Mostly it was of different shades of brown due to rusting. ..

" Daddy..what colour is this" four years old geet asks her daddy sitting comfortably in his lap.She is pointing at base of the bench which is now bearing her and her daddy's weight.."Brown" daddy replies.,"Blown"she repeats..and what color is that??This time she is pointing towards the trunk of neem tree in the garden..Its also brown,daddy replies again...Girl tries to find the similarity between two objects.."Blown..blown.."she claps her hand which makes her piggytails bounce..'Whats that daddy" A bird catches her attention now..That is a sparrow,geet"..

"shparowww"..She tries to learn a new word..Daddy's lap is no longer comfortable for her now as she wants to run and catch the sparrow. Her uncomfortable wriggling in his lap makes her attentions clears to her father. He carefully lets her down .She chases the sparrow,,,but sparrow is so fast..She can fly too..bus girl cant..It was a boring game..A big picture of yellow mango on the road catches her eyes now."Fluity..."she yells and runs towards the road. Temptation of tasting yummy sweet taste of mango juice don't let her hear panic striken voice of her father.."Stop geet..don't go towards road"...But she is a free bird now who does not listen..She reaches in the middle of the road but fruity still seems so distant..She runs at full speed and collides with a cycle carrying milk drums.."Daddy..daddy".She calls her father with big fat tears rolling down her cheek. A sudden fears grips her heart..She wants her daddy now..Fruity is no longer in her mind..Two strong arms embraces her and takes her away from all the dangers..Father caresses her swollen fore-head.. They are again on the bench and she is in the warmest and safest place of the universe.."her daddy's lap"

Chilled air collided with her bare arms.She felt the goose bumps and immense need of warmth of her daddy's lap.She crossed her arms and hugged herself in order to get rid of sudden coldness which chilled her body and heart. Strangely lone tear that trickled down her eye burned her cheek.

She wiped the tear from her cheek. Silence in the park was interrupted by voices of crickets and other insects occasionally. She was never afraid of going alone outside in the dark.Even she always liked to spend some alone moments in the park at late hours of night. But that day,silence prevailed in the surroundings made her heart eerie. She left the place as her feet moved towards the road again..She kicked the small pebble with her shoe making it collide with a pole. Sight of the pebble colliding with the pole made her crane her neck upwards to measure the length of it. She never understood significance of its presence at that place where road turned to the left,however pole was an object marked with change of her heart towards a special activity of her life. Pole was at the place where she used to spend handful moments with her daddy waiting for her school bus to arrive. Initially it was the place which haunted her every night as she had to leave her daddy's finger next morning with teary eyes.But slowly and steadily school made its space in her heart.She started loving the pole as well as he schoo;.Pole was the witness of her poems and tables learning sessions...

Nine fours are thirty six..Eight years old geet repeats her daddy's words while moving in circles around the pole. Today she is learning table of nine.She is waiting eagerly for her daddy to reach at nine eights are..so that she could show her intelligence.. Finally he speaks..nine eights are...

"seventy two"Girl answers with confidence in her voice before father could complete. He gives her a big smile as he asks.."How do you know?

"It is very simple daddy.. six sevens are forty two,similarly seven sixes are forty two..so i guessed when eight nines are seventy two then nine eights will also be seventy two...right daddy????"

'"Absolutely right..my daughter is a genius.." Her daddy's words has proven her intelligence to her. Confidence runs through her veins. Now she believes that she is able to touch the sky. If her daddy thinks her a genius then she is a genius indeed..

"nine nines are eighty one"..She repeats after her daddy...

and nine tens are ninety...words came out from geet's lips as a whisper. She touched the pole with her hands as She moved in circles around it in order to collect reminiscences. Tears completed their journey from her eyes to thick sand around the pole like they belonged there. They had mingled with the tears shed by small girl at same place some years back. Girl who hated to leave her daddy's finger at that time .Feeling was still same,only reason behind the tears had changed. It was "school"then. It was "marriage"now...!!!!

Her watch showed 11pm. She made her way back to home..She opened the gate and entered inside. Her cycle was parked near the entrance. It was covered with excess amount of dust showing its deprivation of human touch for several years..She made a line through the dust with her index finger on its seat...

Daddy..its fun..geet yells while glancing back to her daddy over her shoulder..

look straight geet..and concentrate on handle...A panting Mohinder replies who is holding her cycle from back .He is running simultaneously while geet is paddling..

Try to balance..beta...i am leaving you now...He says while removing his hands from cycle..

no daddy..no..i shall fall..please...She yells in panic looking backwards,,

ohk..ohk...i won't leave. You look straight and concentrate. Father reassures her.Cycle is perfectly balanced.She is paddling faster now.She is going ahead leaving everything behind with subtle speed. It feels awesome. "cycle riding is so much fun,daddy"..she says but no one replies..She is scared a little.She looks behind. She has left her father behind. He is standing very far from her with a smile on his lips. She is riding all alone...Daddy..she yells again as She loses her balance causing herself to fell with cycle...

Mohinder caressed her head.Geet was busy drawing circles and lines on the seat as Sudden touch broke her reverie.She looked at him with her big eyes.. Her tears glistened in the moonlight. She hugged her father tight in order to absorb all the love and warmth as much as possible while mohinder continued caressing her head and back..She felt calm after crying her heart out in her father's embrace.Mohinder steered her inside.."I have something for you"..he said with a chuckle making geet raise her eyebrow sin questioning manner. He handed her an old piece of paper and smiled. Geet opened it and a smile lit on her face..It was her first poetic creativity..They were four lines showing superiority of "Sachin tendulkar" over "Shane warne",,,,

"Shane has only spin

But sachin has every thing,,,

shane you don't know

sachin is the cricket king..."

She had written them at the time of 1999 cricket world cup.Her daddy had praised those silly rhyming sentences to such extent that geet felt herself lady version of Shakespeare. She laughed out aloud.."You have kept if safe...daddy"..

"ofcourse dear...".. her father replied kissing her foerhead..

"I am not feeling good,daddy.."

"Then do what makes you feel best instead of going for a walk at these hours of night",he replied while looking straight in to her eyes,,,Geet noded in yes and hugged him again before leaving for her room..

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You walk

I almost run with you,holding your finger

to match your step...

You look down

I crane my neck,holding your finger

to look up...!!!

You smile

I pout my lower lip,leaving your finger

to show my anger...

You bend down

I open my arms,embracing your neck

to feel the wonder !!!!!

You pick me up

I grin with happiness,holding you tight

to touch the skies...

You twirl me round

I feel scared,smiling with fear

I look in your eyes!!!!

Assurance in your eyes

makes the fear disappear..

you will never let me fall

With you holding me

I am always free to cheer !!!!!

" I "...your little girl

who is an adult with time gone..

urges to "you"

my dear daddy

to hold my hand forever

from "dusk" to "dawn"!!!!!!

With these words..geet closed her journal. Her heart was at peace now,however some tears had smudged the ink.Her inner turmoil was calmed down,as she went for a deep slumber!!!!