New FF: Dilone Ne Pukara, Message on pg3

piyabawri1 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1

Hey guyz! Im new to this forum and this is my first FF. I built up my confidence to write after being inspired by my fellow Ariyans. I have some grammatical problems since Hindi is not my mother tongue. Pls overlook them and give critical feedback.

Present

She walked in to the ETF office with a heavy heart. Dada had called to remind her about Baba's barsi. She needed to take one week's leave. But there was also guilt leaving the team in a whirl of paperwork without notice. The team had become her family. Chotu and Shree become both friends and brothers to her. Even though they were the same age, Riya felt as if she was the older sister. Rathore had taken the place of an older brother. He would convey his love through his protectiveness. He would make sure one of the guys would drop her home at night.

She still remembered this year's rakhi. She was sitting at home crying with a pooja ki thali and sacred threads. She had been getting ready to go to Dada's house, but then a phone call came.

Rakhi

Dada: Riya tum aaj mat aana

R: Kyun Dada, kuch hua hai kya? Maine toh aapki favorite rasgolle banayi hai.

D: Tum ab tak nahi samjhi? Hum sab tumse door rehna chahte hain. Tumhari vajeh se hum ne apni Maa ko kho diya hai. Kyun ki Baba ne apni vasihat me tumhe sab kuch de diya, hum sab tumhe jhel rahe hain. Par aaj nahin. Hum yeh rakhi vaala din apne behno ke saat manaana chahte hai. Hume aaj ke din baksh do.

Dada put the phone down. Riya slid to the floor crying. She knew that this would happen but still she had hoped. About two hours later, Shree had called. Riya thought it was Dada at first.

R: Dada I'm sorry ke aap sab ko mujhe jhel na par raha hai. Par kamse kam aaj ke din to mujhe aap sab ke saat rehne dijiye. Mujhse aapko rakhi baandh ne ka hak mat cheeniye.

S: Ri? Kya hua? What happened? Tum ro kyun rahi ho?

R: I'm sorry Shree. Maine socha tum koi aur ho. Main tumhe baad mein phone karti hoon.

Riya put the phone down and cried.

One hour Later

The doorbell was ringing. Riya got up from the floor and wiped her tears. She opened the door and was instantly shocked. Shree, Chotu, and Rathore Sir were standing on her front door step. They all were wearing kurta and pajamas. They had gift boxes in their hands and were smiling at her. Riya realized that Shree must have told everyone about the phone incident.

R: Aap sab yaha?

C: Kyun hum nahi aa sakte kya?

R: Nahi aisi baat nahin hai.

S: Toh hume andar bula na

Rathore: Kya hum saara din bahar khare reh kar hi baat karenge?

R: I'm so sorry sir. Please andar aiye.

The guys came in and sat down on the couch. Riya felt awkward all of a sudden.

R: Kya lenge sir? Thanda, paani, juice, coffee-

Rathore: Riya, Shree ne hume sab kuch bata diya hai.

Riya looked down at her sandals in embarrassment.

C: Ri, kyat u hum sab ko rakhi bandhe gi?

Riya looked up shocked at the three men. They were smiling at her with love in their eyes.

S: Haan Ri. Toh kya hua agar hum tumhare biological brothers nahi hai. Tu rakhi baandh le aur hume bhai bana le. Vaise bhi ab to mujhe official permission mil jaye ga tujhe parishaan kar ne ke liye.

Rathore didn't say anything to her. He just smiled and held out his hand. Riya had tears falling down her cheeks. These three men were worth more than any biological brother she had. Riya wiped her tears for the last time that day and hurriedly took the thali and rachis. She first tied a rakhi on Rathore sir. He gave her the gift he brought and surprised her by giving her a kiss on the forehead. Shree and Chotu gave their gifts and folded her in a bear hug.

R: Guys ur squishing me!

C: Arre yaar! Jaise Shree ne kaha, hume ab official permission mil gaya hai tujhe parishaan kar ne ka.

Rathore: Riya kya vo rasgolle hain

Riya saw that Rathore sir was looking at the rasgolle with hungry eyes. Shree and Chotu let her go to see if there was actually rasgolle.

R: Haan sir, vo maine aaj subah hi banaye the-

Before she could finish her sentence, the three men ran to the table and were fighting over the rasgollas. Riya started laughing seeing this. After that day, Riya knew that these men will forever remain in her heart.

Present

Riya smiled at these sweet memories and sighed. She walked towards the conference and thought about what she was going to say to her family when she met them. But suddenly she bumped into a wall of muscle. When she looked up, her eyes locked in with the dark coal eyes of ACP Arjun Suryakant Raute.

Edited by piyabawri1 - 13 years ago

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_mahi_ thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 13 years ago
#2
edited*
aww this was such a sweet beginning😳
first of all welcome to the forum dear 😃
and your story brought a sweet smile on my evil face😊🤣
totally adored the way shree, chotu and rathore asked her to tie a rakhi on them👍🏼
so sweet😛
and the way she collided with the well-built man, ACP Rawte, hayye.. cant wait till i know what happens next 😉

Edited by _mahi_ - 13 years ago
iluvrainaarti thumbnail
Enthusiast Thumbnail 14th Anniversary Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
#3
That was awesome. I just imagined how the three boys would look fighting over the rasgoolas- sooo cute. Continue soon and please pm me.
honeey95 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
aww hahha soo cute do pm me :))))
Tami_ thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
wow its is awesome continue it and pm me
SIP1997 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6
Welcome to the forum, very nice start of the FF. Continue soon.
DivineDarkness thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
nice start continue soon... PM me whn u update
scorp1AN thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
interesting! loved the update a lot! rathore, shree and chotu all became the official brothers of riya! that's so nice and sweet of them! funny how they were fighting over the rasagulas! haha! please update soon! can't wait to read more!
immayurfan thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
sweet part
pm me when you update
MRD1692020 thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
#10
vry nyc start dear.
plz continue dear
plz PM me.
i'm really laughing whn i imagine three men fight for Rasogulla. 😆

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