FF-Obsession,chapter29 and next thread-pg150,7oct. - Page 42

Maan opened the window of his bedroom after a pretty long period.."may be after one and half month" he thought.Morning rays of sun lit the whole room.It was pari's favorite place.She used to stand there every morning to enjoy the morning evolution of sun from calm orange ball to active and more bright source of light.And his morning routine was to watch her enjoying the sunshine.Today sun was there,he was there but she was not.A pang of pain hit his heart.His eyes shifted from morning scenario to the bed. He had not made the bed after that night. He did not know why but he felt like changing the bed sheet immediately.Pari's favorite was pink.He opened the closet to get her favorite bedsheet.Her dresses which were hung neatly on the hangers,caressed his face,while he was trying to find the bedsheet.They smelled just like her.He inhaled ardently in order to absorb whatever of hers was left in his life and whatever was possible to feel physically. His fingers touched the satin material of bedsheet. A smile crept on his lips."Its so soft maan..and its pink..my favorite.."he could hear her child like enthusiasm,on the day when she had shopped that particular bedsheet. After struggling for few minutes he was able to make the bed,the way she liked it..without any wrinkle and crease..He had not locked the closet yet.He turned towards it and grabbed the handle when his eyes fell on something wrapped in newspaper. With much curiosity he unwrapped it.It was her laptop.He knew she had hidden it here and he knew very well why she had done so???She was struggling every minute with her obsession."She wanted to fight for her,for me and for us",he thought",and geet had the nerve to doubt pari's love.."As geet's name crossed his mind,a certain restlessness covered him. Suddenly he was reminded of slap incident in the hospital.Somewhere he was guilty for that incident."I was hell angry and i could not control myself,why geet said those words about pari" his mind tried to reason his anger as well as it tried to ignore little hurt that his heart felt because of fact that "out of all people geet had said those words about pari.."

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Five hours passed while he was engrossed in pari's laptop.He did not let any folder unopened. There were their pictures,downloaded stories,many vibrant wallpapers,her favorite songs,her favorite movies and many downloaded articles on child care and pregnancy.He had seen,listened and read everything which was there in her laptop.On an impulse,he opened her gmail account.A teary smile appeared on his face as he typed the password.."parimaan".The urge of somehow listen to her talking made him click on the chats.. Strangely,there was only one conversation,rest were deleted by her.Her last chat was with some girl called kavita,just a night before her death. Night when he insisted her to fight against her obsession.He could imagine her sitting on the bed,looking at him with anxious eyes as he read the chat...

kavita-hey dear..where have been you lost these days..

me-no..actually i was here but could not get time to access net..

kavita20-hmmm..thats ohk...wass up these days???

me-nothing new..you say wass up??

kavita20- i am hell angry with my boyfriend.

me-why???

kavita20- we had a serious fight few days back and all i want to do these days is to strangle his throat..he was cheating on me pari..

me-calm down..kavita

kavita20-I can't..pari..even after two days,i am not able to control my anger and frustration..

me-so you will throttle his neck.haan???

kavita20-i wish i could..

me-are you serious??

kavita20-yes..lol..jokes apart pari,you know very well about my way of venting my anger..

me-hmm,what will be subject this time..

kavita20-May be something related to what i want to do these days but can't do..and you will get it very soon as you are my "postman"..

kavita 20-you there???

kavita20-gone???

His hands widened automatically in the anticipation that she would run and hid her face in his chest this time too,like she had done that night but it was not possible,"i will loose"her words reverberated in his ears..He could not repeat his assurance"we won't loose" this time as they were already lost..He once again read the words which startled her badly that night.."why Kavita said pari her "postman"???Answer could be get from this kavita20 only.He signed out from her account and logged in to his.Both accounts had the same password.He felt strange calmness when he wrote the password"parimaan"..They were still connected somewhere..His fingers motioned on the keypad meticulously as he typed in compose box...

Hello kavita...

This is maan khurana,pari's husband.I don't know how much you know about me thhough my knowledge about you is also limited except that you are very good friend of my wife..I want to meet you or talk to you,whatever is possible early.At this moment i am not in the condition to tell you reasons behind my sudden interest in a meeting with you..but once we get face to face,i will tell you everything.Only thing i can tell you now is that pari is nomore with us,,,

waiting for your reply

maan...

He closed the laptop with a tiny hope in his heart that she would take it seriously and would reply soon...As he was about to shut down the system,his gaze fell on "text document" with the name "psychiatrist" on the desktop.He could not stop himself from opening it and found a list of psychiatrists pari might have chosen for curing him.There was geet's name too with her clinic address and contact.Suddenly he was reminded of his first meeting with geet.She had lied to him about her being pari's friend still he believed geet later on,that too for most important matter of his life..."pari".He had never shared before anything about pari's problem with anyone.Why he showed so much trust in her?? Why his heart believed that geet would make everything all right in his life??He questioned himself but found no answer.He realized the difference in his behaviour with geet as he remembered all the therapy sessions along with his flirty comments with her. The way he behaved with geet,was simply not "him".He was very well aware of his effect on estrogen controlled species and he had been always nonchalant about it but with geet he somewhere reciprocated the "appreciation for his looks" in her hazels,with his flirty comments.Why he did so??May be there was something else too in her eyes which made him do so..He felt his head bursting will all these questions as he closed his eyes in sheer frustration.He tried to control his brain as he made it focus on "kavita" matter..He did not know why but he was feeling the urgency to know about kavita as soon as possible.After all "kavita" belonged to that part of pari's life he was still unaware of and pari herself had never shared it with him. But why pari never shared about "kavita" with him???