People tell me to "put the past behind me,"
But no matter how I try that can't be.
"Time heals pain" so in the present it remains;
Both sayings are riddles no truth do they contain.
If something didn't kill me it should have made me stronger;
Instead it ate away at my soul like a furious hunger.
Pain in my heart is like a savage beast,
Made me submit and added anger to defeat.
What determines what was then and what is now?
No elaboration can explain to me how...
If something tragic takes a toll on your soul;
If you loose the one you love and leaves you less than whole,
Does it become a past experience that makes you strong?
Or is it still a negative in the present that follows you along?
Does past experience dictate future behaviour?
If so then this earth needs a savior.
What if the past still resides in my mind?
Is it still in the past if I didn't leave it behind?
Is everything painful not always in the future...
Since it's perpetual pain and continues to abuse you?
When nothing is felt does that eliminate hunger?
Can something eat away at you if you don't care any longer?
If the past, present, future coincide in our minds,
Where do pain and hopelessness go if there is no space in time?
Can a new found love heals all these losses
And be the balm of past and the present
Bringing in forth happiness and laughter for the future
Ganga Mai Ki Betiyan
Anupamaa
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