Posted:
As a new comer to the show ( I came for Rubina Di) I'm hoping that my opinions won't offend anyone, but I just want to get this off my chest.
The fact that Toasty is still alive and planning to marry off her husband to another woman is difficult for me to digest. I haven't watched any of the recent episodes for the show, however I have been reading the detailed updates. Shaadi is supposed to be a sacred bond, and it is even more beautiful when the couple involved are committed out of love, respect and understanding. This rishta balances on so many important fundamentals, from the vows before God to the commitment made by the couple, the trust they must place in each other, the love they need to keep their relationship strong, and the respect required so that they learn to listen to and understand their respective partner.
Toasty's intentions can be considered good, and I completely understand that she desires to have the news of her family's happiness before her death. However, the symbols of marriage are extremely important, and even more so the rishta. It perplexes me that the CVs would show Toasty planning these acts so quickly, without consideration for a respectable mourning period for her devastated husband. Based on the fantastic written updates, as well as my small glimpse into the psychology of the C parivaar, surely Toasty must have realised that Tej would not simply remarry to please her, especially not so soon. A shaadi at this stage would bring out so many feelings of resentment, betrayal and hurt, both from Tej and Smiley. If this happens, would it not defeat the purpose of the marriage? Is this not pushing the sacredness of the rishta to a degree that isn't right? As a fan of CB, I still remember how devastated I was watching two seasons in which Radhika's haq as a biwi was devalued. Both times, because she had been thinking of the happiness of her family and husband, rather than looking at the pain it would cause when the truth was revealed. I spent moments in tears watching Season 2, seeing the dilemma she had placed her husband and herself in. Tej will feel awful when he figures out that his own wife conspired to have him get married while she is still alive. He loves Toasty so much, and sees it as her right to have his love even after her death. It's unfair that Toasty hasn't given him a chance to atleast become accustomed to her absence, and having only her memories.
In addition, Smiley is so young, and untouched by certain stages of life. She is yet to fall in love, yet to experience a happy rishta of her own. How can Toasty not consider how Smiley would feel about being manipulated into marrying her dhost ki patni? Smiley has the right to a loving husband who will support and care for her just like Tej did for Toasty. She shouldn't be placed in the position where she will have to face developing feelings of love for someone who will constantly remind her that he loves his dead wife. She shouldn't have to bare Tej's anger and frustration at the path that his life has taken. Neither should she have to fear that she won't even have children of her own because her once- widowed husband will not be interested in an intimate relationship. Watching Smiley eventually fall for Tej and then have to balance her feelings against his, just seems so sad.
I know that Toasty is looking at the larger picture. She's looking ahead to the future. I respect her for her efforts, and I respect her parents for fulfilling her last wishes. However, I am disappointed that the CVs would have her rush this through so quickly. It leaves me so upset, especially because I know that the next episodes will be full of turmoil and disappointment. Since I'm looking at another show in which a similar situation is broiling (Punar Vivaah), I can only warn Saas Bina Sasural fans to hold their hearts extra close until the pain eases.
Kittya
The fact that Toasty is still alive and planning to marry off her husband to another woman is difficult for me to digest. I haven't watched any of the recent episodes for the show, however I have been reading the detailed updates. Shaadi is supposed to be a sacred bond, and it is even more beautiful when the couple involved are committed out of love, respect and understanding. This rishta balances on so many important fundamentals, from the vows before God to the commitment made by the couple, the trust they must place in each other, the love they need to keep their relationship strong, and the respect required so that they learn to listen to and understand their respective partner.
Toasty's intentions can be considered good, and I completely understand that she desires to have the news of her family's happiness before her death. However, the symbols of marriage are extremely important, and even more so the rishta. It perplexes me that the CVs would show Toasty planning these acts so quickly, without consideration for a respectable mourning period for her devastated husband. Based on the fantastic written updates, as well as my small glimpse into the psychology of the C parivaar, surely Toasty must have realised that Tej would not simply remarry to please her, especially not so soon. A shaadi at this stage would bring out so many feelings of resentment, betrayal and hurt, both from Tej and Smiley. If this happens, would it not defeat the purpose of the marriage? Is this not pushing the sacredness of the rishta to a degree that isn't right? As a fan of CB, I still remember how devastated I was watching two seasons in which Radhika's haq as a biwi was devalued. Both times, because she had been thinking of the happiness of her family and husband, rather than looking at the pain it would cause when the truth was revealed. I spent moments in tears watching Season 2, seeing the dilemma she had placed her husband and herself in. Tej will feel awful when he figures out that his own wife conspired to have him get married while she is still alive. He loves Toasty so much, and sees it as her right to have his love even after her death. It's unfair that Toasty hasn't given him a chance to atleast become accustomed to her absence, and having only her memories.
In addition, Smiley is so young, and untouched by certain stages of life. She is yet to fall in love, yet to experience a happy rishta of her own. How can Toasty not consider how Smiley would feel about being manipulated into marrying her dhost ki patni? Smiley has the right to a loving husband who will support and care for her just like Tej did for Toasty. She shouldn't be placed in the position where she will have to face developing feelings of love for someone who will constantly remind her that he loves his dead wife. She shouldn't have to bare Tej's anger and frustration at the path that his life has taken. Neither should she have to fear that she won't even have children of her own because her once- widowed husband will not be interested in an intimate relationship. Watching Smiley eventually fall for Tej and then have to balance her feelings against his, just seems so sad.
I know that Toasty is looking at the larger picture. She's looking ahead to the future. I respect her for her efforts, and I respect her parents for fulfilling her last wishes. However, I am disappointed that the CVs would have her rush this through so quickly. It leaves me so upset, especially because I know that the next episodes will be full of turmoil and disappointment. Since I'm looking at another show in which a similar situation is broiling (Punar Vivaah), I can only warn Saas Bina Sasural fans to hold their hearts extra close until the pain eases.
Kittya
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