Chapter 9 - Umikiri
"I need some toothpaste and a toothbrush." She heard from behind her and turned around, surprised.
She didn't think the man would be up so early or would find his way down to the kitchen by himself.
She watched him for a moment while he looked around the kitchen as if he had never seen anything like it. He looked just like he did yesterday, showing not a bit of worse for the wear for all that he was stuck in a house that was arcane enough to be fossilized by his standards. Well, evil always got plenty of sleep.
She was about to leave to go get the toothpaste for him, but then saw his scornful look at the breakfast she was in the process of making, and an idea struck her.
"We don't have toothpaste. We use umikiri... er.. charcoal powder."
She turned back to the stove while she gave him time to chew on that.
"Charcoal powder?" she heard him ask in an incredulous tone. "What the hell is that?"
She tried to think of where the umikiri was kept in the house; they still had the stash of it from the time of their grandmother who had insisted on using it until her death and had never switched over to toothpaste.
She turned around and walked into the pantry next to the kitchen and went through a few boxes until she found the one with the umikiri. She walked out and gave the box to him and he looked inside at the black powder in disgust.
"How does this vile powder relate to dental hygiene?" he asked, his voice taking on that rich snob quality that grated on her nerves enough that she turned around and launched into a lengthy exposition on the merits of charcoal powder over toothpaste. When she was done, she wondered why she didn't use umikiri herself. Well, with the newfound knowledge of their finances, and all hope of saving the house now gone, she may just have to go back to the old ways... might as well start with umikiri.
He looked taken aback for a moment after she was done before he put up his hands and said, "If you want me to clean my teeth with this coal, then you have to show me how it's done."
She rolled her eyes before she mimed what she had just explicitly told him. "You take you index finger just like this... see here?" And then you dip it into the damn powder nice and well... And then you bring it back to your damn teeth! And..."
"No. I want you to show me how it's done! Turn the heat off of whatever inedible thing you have there on that stove and come to the sink with me and show me!" He ordered.
She slapped the spatula in her hand down on the counter and turned to him. She could swear that there was steam coming out of her ears.
She was glad that her sister had already left for work and that her father slept at the other end of the house. Even if she screamed bloody murder here, he wouldn't be able to hear it there. And they had long ago dispensed of any servants that they could no longer afford.
"I am not your freaking nanny! And this is not your home that you can order me around as you please!" she could hear her voice rise about two octaves.
"Yet!" he answered and in her fury she picked up the spatula and threw it at him. It caught him so off guard that he didn't duck or move out of the way and it hit his chest and the box of charcoal in his hand before toppling to the floor.
She watched in dismay as the black powder flew up in a swirl all around like the special effects in an under-budgeted horror movie. When the dust settled, so to speak, he was covered in it... the black soot coated his hair, his face, and the beige of the long crinkled jhubha that he was wearing.
For a moment neither of them spoke or even moved as they stared at each other.
Then he took a menacing step forward as he gritted out, "You Witch!"
She stood her ground as she arched an eyebrow and said, "What are you going to do? Try to kiss me again? Too bad the same threat doesn't work from the woman's end!"
She knew she was shooting off her mouth at this point, but she didn't have too much else in the way of an argument. He really did look angry now and no matter what, she shouldn't have thrown the spatula at him.
"Would you rather that I dig my nails into you enough to make you bleed or try to bite the flesh off your hand? Or maybe I should startle you into falling down the stairs? That wouldn't make me a monster, but kissing you again would, right?"
She didn't answer him but her eyes strayed to the back of his hands surreptitiously now and she could see the angry red marks there that were the humble courtesy of her nails. Hell would freeze over before she would feel remorse, but that didn't mean that she felt good about it either. The nail-marks, she could give two hoots about. But she hadn't meant to scare him into falling down the stairs and in hindsight was glad that he was still in one piece. Moral repercussions aside, the last thing she could afford was the gargantuan legal fee that would be required to defend herself against a charge of manslaughter.
The reminder made her ire lessen and she walked up to him to take the box of umikiri out of his hands.
"Now you not only need toothpaste, but also a shower."
He drew back from her in surprise. "You have toothpaste?"
She sighed and nodded as she walked with the box back into the pantry to put it away.
When she walked back out, he was shaking his head, sending the black powder flying this way and that.
"Not in here! This is a kitchen!" she ordered, which he obeyed unexpectedly.
"There is no running water in the bathroom at the moment. And I don't know when it will start again. You will have to bathe in the pond." She said just as she smelled the smoke from the stove and rushed over.
"Pandaram!" she muttered the curse to herself as she turned the fire off.
Well, there goes breakfast!
"Come again?" she heard in English from behind her and turned in agitation to face him.
"Come again where?" she asked, her mind still on the burned upma.
"You want me to bathe where?" he asked.
Oh that!
"In the family pond. Don't worry. It is an enclosed pond and relatively private and is not that far from here. There are only three families that have access to it, ours being one of them."
She didn't tell him that it was a women's only pond. Just because she was going down didn't mean that she had to go down without a fight.
"Where did you shower?" he asked, pointing to her still somewhat wet hair.
"My sister and I wake early morning when we know the water is still running. We save enough water for cooking and emergencies for the day in case the taps decide to take some time off like this during the day. But we definitely do not have enough water saved to wash off all that charcoal."
"You could not possibly live this way!" he exclaimed in agitation and she rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Mr. Raizada, I really don't have time to go into the infrastructure issues involved in rural living. Breakfast attempt #1 is a wash and I have to get started on #2 before my father wakes. So, if you could put a rush on it, I could take you down to the pond and be back here in time for the second attempt."
For a moment she thought that he would resist, but then he said, "I need another set of clothes. Preferably something less scratchy."
She had to give it to him. He had the hide of a rhinoceros!
If for a moment, she had had doubts about leading him to the women's pool, then that last comment from him relieved her of all such hesitation.
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Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Cricket
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