Existentialism

To me, atleast.. it makes the most sense, i used to be an atheist, but later..I started feeling that existence is there, there's beauty in life - in existence and whatever looks beautiful looks divine = godly. OK i cannot express my thoughts clealy at all... but I'll try 😆 . hmm...so yeah, i felt and believed in... just existence! .. i know it doesnt make any sense :( ..hope you get me!

I had read a little about existentialism because Fyodor Dosteovesky mentioned in some book(is he an existentialist???) and yes, i believe in it... i think it's rational :) however, i feel many people are conditioned since their birth(hinduism, christianity, islam, atheism too).. people are conditioned, and to understand the essence of existentialism, a person must be free of all that conditioning/come out of his conditioned brain. Even telling a child there's no thing as God since his childhood is conditioning in a way... who the heck are we to tell a child? Let him find out and have his own ideas :) .. However, maybe this is my definition of existentialism because I was/am free from conditioning, and when i see atheistic/christian existentialism, i still find them chained down by religion. Somehow, the basic defination of existentialism and "atheistic/christian existentialism" look contradictory to me. Even though one might say "he believes in theology with all his heart etc", i.. it doesnt make sense to me(which makes me turn to the concept of Nihilism - a man believes in religion/etc because he has fears deep inside or something like that? makes more sense). I dont think a man by nature can follow a religion, he isnt born being a hindu/muslim/christian.. he follows a religion after being brain-washed and conditioned since he was a baby. Anyways, i do believe in existence... you can say pantheism.

Nihilism is a little dark and you know, a little pessimistic i feel 😆 ..however, i agree with the concept of existential nihilism, it's just a little harsh for my taste :P ..but i cannot deny it's sorta true...atleast right now and from the time i have read about it, I have been believing in it.

OK now.. i have written what i could express.. 😆 I'm sorry if I dont make any sense 😆

Nice topic as always, drummedup... hope you come with more topics :P

PS - As long as there'll be some sort of theology or even atheology attached to existentialism, it'll look abstract and become random, loses all it's meaning.