The Final Look *updated finally*

Finally guys... here it is...
pichle 3 weeks se issko poora karne ki soch rahi thi, but my work!😡
also guys, pl like my pages on fb-
sneha page-
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sneha-Kapoor-The-Dancing-Diva/218139701640724
swaron page-
https://www.facebook.com/pages/wAyAm-hArOnwaron-the-New-Beginning-in-D3/391197284248743
D3 page-
https://www.facebook.com/d3bwoyz

hope u guys like it-
ArLisha SS- The Final Look
Pl listen to dis song while reading dis SS. It's completely from Archie's P.O.V. It mite help u 2 understand his P.O.V.-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En4aZkij_q4

Part 1-

Die endgltige Aussehen...

There is darkness all around. The only source of light which is present in the room comes from the old glass pane on the roof diagonally above my head & from my Mac Book screen (which SHE had gifted me on my last b'day.) There is no one around- just me & my Mac in the old attic in my house. My desktop wallpaper displays a pic of both of us hugging each other during AJS's b'day bash. Shaks was also there- she had specially flown from Delhi for his b'day; "PICTURE PERFECT COUPLE LAG RAHE HO TUM DONO", she said when she looked at the pic she had clicked.
Link to pic- https://www.facebook.com/photo.php
fbid=396858163675581&set=a.396368203724577.106129.216127721748627&type=3&theater
I caressed her face & sighed. With a deep breath & a faint reminder of what could have been IF it was different, I begin to write in my Mac Journal.

*Flashback*
Yesterday, i.e. 31 May 2012-
I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm clock; Elvis Presley's voice surrounded the whole room. I was already awake by that time the alarm went off. Actually come to think of it, I had not been able to catch an ounce of sleep since I got the news of her going away (to Ranchi for 3 weeks, as an account of a holiday.) After freshening up & changing, as I was walking down, I was greeted by a big dabba of food residing atop of my dining table.
Arch Mom: Bacha, tu ready ho gaya? Achcha sun, u r going 2 her place Na... ussko yeh dabba de dena... theekh hain! Aur usse kehna ki...
Arch *while taking his bike keys*: Aai... tu tension mat le... *now going 2wds the table & taking the dabba* mein angel ko dabba de doonga aur usse keh doonga ki woh tujhse baat karle... barobar!
Arch Mom: Theekh hain... & ussko kehna ki mein usse bahut miss karoongi...
Arch *opening the front door, takes a pause & mutters*: Mein bhi usse bahut miss karoonga Aai...
Thankfully, my bike did not harass me today as she started on the 1st go. I plugged into my I-pod & GUESS WHAT! The song- "Jabse Tere Naina" started to play. The song which was associated with the "most filmy Jodi of D3"- Vicky & Neha. Gosh! How could I forget that RDX sir's party ka time when we all were shooting! It was the 1st time ever I had seen her in that smoking hawt avatar of hers- a white half-shirt & white jeans. The half-shirt had caused her sexy slim fit waist to get exposed. Like Vicky, even I was left wondering- WHO THE HELL IS THAT HAWT CHICK?" As if to read my mind, AJS whispered in my ears- IT'S ALISHA! The moment she turned, I was left awestruck! My jaw dropped & I got a shocker of my life... Shit dude! SHE WAS LOOKING "SUPER DUPER FREAKING HAWT"! I somehow straightened myself up & went upto 2 her & told her that she was looking really hot! At 1st, she just stares at me & I go like- SHIT! KUCH ZYAADA TOH NAHI BOL DIYA! Then, she just blushed & said- Thanks. COULD I EVER FORGET THE LOOK? NO!
I plugged the ear-phones & adjusted the volume accordingly so that the noise could completely drain me. Noise was good, Silence wasn't. Noise was always reasoned, whilst Silence only burnt. I raced thru the gears & the city traffic; raced all the way till her house. She had known all along what I had felt. I couldn't hide it as my eyes always gave me away. Waise bhi, kehte hain na- "Aankhein bhi hoti hain dil ki zubaan..." But I had to fight it all down. GODDAMNED OLD FEELINGS. Because I understood what something else in the world meant to her; what someone else in the world meant to her. Even though, it was on rocky grounds off late, I just wanted her to be happy. No malice, no selfishness, only a thought that reverberated in my mind, which reminded me of how desperately I wanted to see her smile. Of how desperately I loved her.
She opened the door on the 3rd bell. She had been awoken from her sleep abruptly by my ringing her door bell. She looked like a goddess from an unknown world. She was dressed simply in a one-sholder black tee & dark blue tracks with disheveled hair & half-open eyes; she looked like a million bucks. She smelt like another million & radiated this glow which reminded me of how desperately I wanted to be with her.
Alisha: What? Y u here?
Arch: Kya...
I slowly took her right hand, twirled her & pulled her closer such that her right arm is behind her back & her left arm on my chest. M damn sure that my heart surely did skip a beat but then it sank even much more deeper as the realization seeped in dat she'll be leaving today. She again gestured 'what' lifting her eyebrows. I slowly took out the dabba from behind my back.
Alisha: Aai ne bhejha...
Arch: Hmmm...
Alisha *giggling*: Andar aaja... warna yaha garmi main khade-khade pighal jaayega ice-cream ki tarah...
I handed her d dabba & came in. She promptly called up Aai & gestured me to sit on d sofa signaling "5 mins." I cud make out from the hushed tones that she wasn't very enthusiastic of going back home after such a long tym. I cud sense the pain in her voice.
After speaking a good 20 mins wid Aai (u know Na what happens when 2 ladies get talking!), she came & sat beside me; I took a cushion & rested my head on her lap, keeping the cushion on my stomach. She softly started to play wid my hair & held my other hand into hers & intertwined her fingers with myn. "Not this", I cursed under my breath which I guess she heard because soon after she chuckled softly. Oh man! How much am I gonna miss this! The old goddamned feelings fighting their way to come up to the surface, I tried equally hard not to let them come up. More Silence. More burning. After what seemed like eons, she spoke to me. Spoke honestly, spoke quietly, spoke simply; of her initial days in the city; of her getting selected in DID 1; of her journey in DID; of her elimination; of her special appearance in DID 2 & dancing wid AJS; of her audition for D3 & her finally bagging the role of NEHA; of our meeting in the workshop; of her practicing the scenes wid evry1 in the workshop; of our masti on the D3 sets; of OUR scenes; of the starting of OUR love-story (on-screen, of course!); of OUR friendship & also wid oder cast ppl. I wondered whether she was good at hiding emotions; she wasn't, just as I wasn't. I cudn't hide what I felt for her; she cudn't hide her pain. Her grip on my fingers tightened & I fought down everything yet again. She looked at me wid dreamy eyes as I raised my head & got up from the sofa to go to the sets- not leavg my fingers from hers. I had just taken 2 steps when she said something.
Alisha: Cowboy... ummm... kya... kya tum... tum... mujhe... mujhe shaam...
shaam ko... see... see-off... kar... karne... aaoge na!
Archie: Bilkul aaunga angel! I will surely come 2 c u off... & don't worry mein dopahar main bhi aaunga tujhse n tere uss "fairy godfather"...
Alisha: Hmmm?
Archie: Arrey... woh... tera bhai! Tu ussko apna "fairy godfather" bulati hain na? Toh... tum dono se milne dopahar ko I'll come. K.
Alisha: Ahhh... Theekh hain! *smiles*
Archie: Tut... *behaving lyk a small kid *Chal Na yaar set pe chalte hain! Packing tera bhai kar lega! Pls Na chal na yaar!
She smiled. She got up & came next to me; slightly, she ruffled my hair & threw her arms around my neck.
Alisha *sweetly*: Tumhe kya lagta hain cowboy? Ki tum yeh cute si harkate karoge aur mein tumhaare saath set pe aa jaaongi? Bilkul nahi. Toh apni yeh nautanki band karo aur set pe jaao.
I cudn't help myself & slowly put my arms around her waist. I looked at her- she was smiling, but her eyes showed pain & emptiness. I didn't know what came over me, but I slightly started to move my face forward but soon stopped 2 c her reaction; she replied in the affirmative by closing her eyes & letting out a cold sigh. Soon, my lips were over hers & I started kissing her, she soon responded by kissing me back; My grip on her waist became tighter & she was massaging my hair which made me want her more & more. I tried moving my tongue begging for entrance & soon our tongues were dancing to the tune of separation. Her lips tasted like caramel- sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but never sour. Her hot breath was driving me wild. Our kiss became wild as both of us were kissing each other as if it was our last day on earth. We both became breathless but still continued to kiss. Soon, we had to pull apart as we were gasping for air. Just around that time, I received a text from AJS-
"DUDE! WHERE THE FREAKING HELL ARE YOU? PALKI'S GETTING MAD!! COME TO SET A.S.A.P!"
I gave a puppy look to her & she just said- GO! Reluctantly, my arms left her waist & I reached d door. B4 leavg, I turned to look at her- her hair still disheveled, a half-smile on her face & she still was looking lyk a million bucks!
I reached d set by 11.30 a.m. I was a slow day & dere had been nothing dat was worth being enacted out. I was getting pissed off, so I thought of clicking some pics from my Canon 30 D DSLR camera. I started 2 click some random pics when...
Priyanka *jumping in front of Arch*: Booo...
Arch *almost jumping & den handling his camera*: Jeez Splash! Careful gurl! Gir ke toot jaata mera jigar ka tukda toh...
Splash: Jaanti hu jaanti hu... *melodramatically* agar mera jigar ka tukda gir jaata, toh mere dil ke bhi utne hi tukde ho jaate! Aur phir...
She was just going on & on & I just quietly took her pics while she was blabbering.
Sam *very animatedly*: So Arch's on a "shooting spree" yet again ha!
I just gave her a small smile & continued to click pics till I got bored.
Scroll down for the continuation...

Part 2-

To top it all, she was going away. And I cudn't help myself from being so terribly smitten by her that I cudn't even tell her. I was struggling to understand what was I going thru. There was a girl whom I loved, fair enuf. She had just ended her relationship with someone. So what? There was a rational side of me which said- 'yeah! Go hit the iron & get her. THIS IS THE RIGHT TYM!' And then... there was this irrational side in me which said- 'is dis what u wanted for her? Didn't u say dat her happiness is everything for u & it matters a lot to u? Den shudn't u help her be happy even if it meant that you were the one who remained screwed up for a long tym?' And I chose to listen to my irrational side, because I really loved her. Because all I wanted was to see her smile. Dat was wen Palki came upto me & told me to stay bak for the D3 photo shoot. "That's not fair", I thought. I had to go to drop her off. And I just wanted to spend some time near her, with her, seeing her, feeling her presence & thinking of how she was perfect for me. As I got lost in my thoughts again, Palki brought me bak 2 reality by telling me about the photo shoot (for the 5th tym). I nodded & left. I spend the rest of d day looking at the pics that I had taken from my Canon 30 D View-finder. There was a different set of words that I used to describe her- "emotionally beautiful", because that is who she was. She could actually bring back dead flowers to life by just smiling at them. And she portrayed this unknown serenity, which made me feel complete, like the lone cowboy searching for the lost angel or the iceman searching for this haunting tune on his violin.
D day progressed slowly. Evening came & so did 5 p.m. The photo shoot was damn boring. I rushed the bike at top speed, keeping a careful eye on the gas gauge, which patiently indicated that I had to refuel my bike. I decided to save that for later, I had some hopes for my bike, if not a lot. I reached her place. She was ready but I could sense that she had cried a lot in the washroom, I didn't need a fairy to tell me that. But she looked calm & composed. I sat on the bean bag, her brother came in & sat opp us & she dragged a mini-bean bag & sat in between my legs after offering us tea. It was only after half-way I was done with it when...
Alisha *hitting her head*: Shit! Sorry cowboy... mein bhul gayi thi ki tum chai nahi peete ho!
Arch * realizing it was tea & not coffee*: Uhh... chill angel! Waise bhi... mein bhi bhul gaya tha *chuckles*
The god damned old country ghosts. The bridges of old Tuesdays, the mystic feelings & her beautiful face... It all came back. I looked into her eyes & felt that time had stopped. It was all quiet when all of a sudden it was torn open by my ringing phone. It was Sneha. She told me dat I had to report bak to the set as some emergency had happened...
something about ruining my world; something about seeing my angel go away; something about just being so terribly in love; something about not seeing her go. I went to the balcony attached to her dining room, took a long breath, swallowed blood, came back & wiped off a lone tear from the corner of my eye, in silence without her seeing it. I went upto her, took her hands into mine & told her dat I had go bak to d set & that I might not be able to see her off at the station. I saw the expressions on her face just as I was leaving. They were classic- anger, denial & reluctant acceptance, all mixed together. I wanted to be there with her so much; but that didn't look like it was to happen.
7.15 p.m.-
With extremely alarming precision, I flew down to the set in 15 mins, whereas normally it took me at least 2 hrs.
8.30 p.m.-
The EMERGENCY thing was pure crap! I had to give 2 long interviews of 10 mins each. Palki asked me to stay back for 1 more which, she told me, could last for 15 mins.
And for once I gave up. I took out my phone & dialed Sameer's no (Alisha's bro).
Sameer: hello...
Arch: hello bhai... archie bol raha hu...
Sameer: kidhar hain tu? chchutti nahi mili kya ab tak?
Arch *sad & low voice*: nahi bhai! Lagta hain woh nujhse miley bina hi waapis chali jaayegi! mein yaha buri tareeken se phans gaya hu! nikalna IMPOSSIBLE hain!
Sameer: Fikar mat kar! I understand...
Arch: Bhai... app toh theekh ho... par woh...
Sameer: Woh bhi theekh hain & I'm damn sure even she'll understand. Haa.. bura toh lagega ussy but... she'll understand.
Arch *sighing*: Theekh hain bhai! Mein aapse baad main baat karta hu! *disconnects call.*
I purposefully didn't speak to her as I couldn't meet her voice. Because even if it wasn't meant to be, I was deeply in love with her. And I just had to look at her one last tym & drink to my heart's content. Because I knew I would never meet her again, although I did want to. I knew it was going to be tough & the chances of that happening were very slim. That's why I wanted to see her one last time, & it had all gone away with Palki asking me to stay back.
I decided it's now or never... I went upto Palki.
Arch *makg a puppy face & a boyish voive*: Palki ma'am... kya aap mujhe pl 15-20 min free de sakte ho!
Palki: Alisha...
Arch *nodding*: Yup...
Palki: Khade-khade mera muh kya dekh raha hain... JA! JALDI BHAAG!
Arch: Interview...
Palki: Interview ya Alisha?
I just took my sling bag & dashed down to the bike when I saw the time with a sinking feeling that I wasn't going to make it.
8.47 p.m.-
Desperately trying to fight the sands of time, I flew down to the station. Took a series of wrong turns, lost my way in the process, & even broke signals, which is quite unlike me. But that evening, I DIDN'T CARE! I wanted to see her one last time, before she went; I JUST WANTED TO. The big station watch showed 8:51 P.M. as I ran past hawkers, irate rickshaw owners & dogs into the station. I ran like Pheidippides, into the station, onto the platform. I ran the other way around & realized it was the wrong end. Phone in on hand & my sling bag (which had my DSLR) slung diagonally across my shoulder, I ran back the entire length of the train to the other side to the seat where she was sitting.
I looked at her for a full minute. My throat was parched & lungs were bursting for want of air but I still looked at her. Her face had a different glow & she smiled back widely at me & I realised how it was to be. I promptly took out my DSLR & quickly took a snap of her smiling face. That is what I had fought to see. THAT SMILE. It was so precious, I could have walked right over The Grand Canyon to see her smile like that always. She intertwined her fingers with mine thru the window bars one last time. We said a million things without speaking. I desperately prayed for her happiness & at the same time I decided to let her know about my feelings for her.
Arch: ANGEL... I LOVE YOU.
She looked at me. A lone tear escaped her eye.
This time I killed everything that was rising inside me. This time my tears didn't flow as she said this. Everything was gone. Everything had been burnt away. I just wanted to see her smile & she did just that as our fingers left each other & the train left the platform.
I went down on my haunches. Through my blurred vision, I could see the train moving farther & farther away by the second. A bespectacled stranger came & offered me water. In an almost hoarse inaudible voice, I mouthed Pheidippies's dying line-
rejoice... we conquer.
Even though I had never told her before what I felt for her, I still got to see her smile- for one last time- I could live on that. Just on that. I finally went back home & slept a dreamless sleep.

Today:
The light streams thru the attic skylight. It reflects off the tears rolling down my face. I miss her terribly. I can't even conceive how much; can't even conceive of having that thought. But I knew it had to be done. I have to give up & pray; just to see her smile; to see her happy; to never let her know how badly I miss her. As I ponder for a suitable title for this story, I strike upon one. Her saved picture on the desktop gives me the name. I call the piece- "Die endgltige Aussehen" or THE FINAL LOOK. As I save the document & shut down the system, she smiles at me for one last time. The system finally shuts down & the dam that I have been holding back since yesterday finally breaks down.

kya yaar! kisi ko psand nahi aaya kya?
koi reply nahi...😭