Chapter 1: Secrets
It had been five days since Arnav had married Khushi with the same sentiments as one did when a lamb was sent for slaughter. For Khushi her dreams were crushed that day, she always had high hopes for her wedding and none of them ever lead to ruining her sisters.
She sighed, her sister hadn't spoken to her for a period of five days, neither had the rest of her family, however her in-laws were a different story she expected everyone to give in eventually after all wasn't that their nature? But no Khushi Kumari Gupta stood corrected, she was wrong, if anyone it was Manorma Mami who sympathised with her. It was as if she was aware of her husbands nature, it was as if she secretly knew that something terrible had happened for Khushi to marry Arnav on that eventful night.
Her eyes would be a give-away when she descended the stairs every morning but then as soon as she looked into them she would cover up, just as effectively she would cover her face every morning, it was as if she saw that emotion as a blemish and covered it up, hiding it beneath her cool exterior. But Khushi knew, she knew that she had a confidant, an associate, someone whom she could cry too however that too was a secret she had to keep.
Secrets, if anything Khushi slid down deeper into her chair there were so many that were kept within the walls of this house, take the Mami secret as an example it was right in front of everyone's eyes but everyone choose to ignore it just like the secret of Shyam Jha. If an outsider would to observe they would immediately pick up on Shyams frequent visits away from the house as a 'lawyer', they would pick up on the horrific looks he would send to Khushi and how uncomfortable she was, they would see an oblivious-stupid-and sickeningly devoted wife and above all else they would see a man, a broken man, a man who sets rules for others but these rules however did not apply to him. They would see a girl, a broken girl, a girl who had not even been given a chance to bloom and see the world; a girl who was expected to grow up faster than her years could carry just a shadow of a girl who was living and breathing someone else's life, someone else's desires, did anyone dare question hers? That wasn't a mystery, no it certainly was not that was quite obvious to the outsider it was no. This girl had never been given options and if she was the latter could not have been any better than the first otherwise she would not be in such a situation.
Khushi was completely aware of the facts behind her sudden marriage, but she was never given a chance to explain herself she was just told the facts, the basics, the rules and the expectations as he drilled hole after hole into her fragile body.
What was the thrill in this?
There was no thrill, there was no adrenaline, this was not the man who had whispered sweet things into her ears before her sisters wedding, no this was the man who was hard as a rock, edgier than a cliff mount, and certainly more venomous than a poisonous snake.
Strangely Khushi found herself relating him to Shyam, there were similarities yet there were evident differences, where one used sugar coated words to manipulate the world the other used crude honesty, where one was sickeningly soft the other was sharper than a broken piece of glass.
But Khushi knew, oh she knew who she would rather be with, she knew deep down she would be able to put up with Arnav's hard heavy bullets than Shyams sweet words, yes she definitely knew whom she preferred.
And as she watched the Razaida family eat breakfast she felt strangely sorry for them all, she felt strangely sick for them all, and she knew when it all enfolded who would be stuck in the cross fire, who the blame would easily be laid upon. Yes she most certainly knew that much.
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Arnav watched her from afar, he sat opposite her on the dining table there was no joy, no happiness or no light in her eyes it was as if she had given up trying. She had tried to persuade both their family's to forgive and forget the happenings but they had not relented although Khushi clearly had.
Her face looked visibly tired, her shoulders were slumped, her hair in a fancy knot at the top of her head it wasn't fanning her neck the way he liked it, on her wrists were his mothers Kangans and she only wore them to please the family, in the confines of their bedroom she simply took them off and placed them back into their box.
Her choice off colours had changed considerably, there were no bright pinks, blues, or reds it was as if the rainbow had been dulled down to simple pastels, now she choose to wore peach and magnolia and other colours of that sort, there was not one pom-pom insight, no frilly puffy sleeves showing off the creamy length of her arms, now there were full sleeves tapered to her elbows.
There was no Khushi, to Khushi it was as if she had been scrubbed away like a black dot from a wall. 'Good' Arnav thought 'serves her right'
But somewhere deep down Arnav knew that everything he told her on the night of their wedding was wrong, he knew that all those words he used against her did not fit her persona but that image, that blinding image replayed in his head every time he tried to contradict her. His eyes couldn't have seen that without it being real, his fathers words came back to his mind 'You live for yourself, and only yourself, if the world spits on you spit back at them' So he was just spitting back, but as soon as his father came into his mind so did his mother 'Arnav you never treat a person with hate, never treat them as if they are lower than you because we are no-one to judge someone else's actions when we have done worse' At that time his mothers words made no sense to him but now they did, how could he judge her when he had done far worse?
The reply came 'Because your Arnav Singh Raizada, you have every right to judge this low thinking woman'.
As Arnav nibbled further he wondered if anyone actually noticed her change in behavior, or was it just him, should her sister have noticed the difference that she now possessed? Truth was no one did, no one but Mami.
_ _
Mami looked on, her usual tirade of the latest perfumes and makeup had come to a halt in recent days, she couldn't take the pain the dining table now owned, it seemed to be full of hurt.
Yes the obvious hurt being Anjali's, nani's and off course the rest, but that was all petty in comparison to the massive hole that was being dug between Arnav and Khushi. She looked on as they both stared off into a distance definitely not a loving couple, it was too obvious. There was a significant difference between Akash and Payal and Arnav and Khushi, where one couple shared long dreamy eye locks the other shared hard eyed, emotional stares.
It was all too much for Manorma as she was reminded of the ill fate of her sister and how she had suffered with the Raizada men, Manorama shared a similar fate but she was hard nosed and hard shelled however her sister was not, she had always been happier, brighter the ever luminescent flame that drew people like moths and after years of doing un-necessary prayers she genuinely begged the deity above for the better of the family, for the better of Khushi.
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Index :
Chapter 1 - Page 1Chapter 2 - Page 8
Chapter 3 - Page 17
Chapter 6 - Page 44
Chapter 8 - Page 65
Chapter 9 - Page 75
Chapter 10 - Page 86
Chapter 11 - page 94
Chapter 12 - Page 104
Chapter 13 - Page 111
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