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Every waking moment Ahem has been thinking about Gopi & Gopi is thinking about Ahem !!! He knows he has done a mistake & today he realised how it hurt his wife. At breakfast, he saw her taking care of hm yet she did not talk to him or smile for him, ask him how he was & even when he did try to make an attempt, she turned away. Ahem wants to take away that hurt from her, ask her for her forgiveness & tell her how sorry he is to have done that but every attempt he makes to tell her & pacify her, he is hitting a block by her silence !!! Her silence is hurting him, confusing him on what he can do to tell her what he is feeling & along with the guilt of what he has done it is hurting his ego on how could she not understand him even after him making so many attempts & at times it is triggering bouts of anger. His wife always forgave him easily but today even after many attempts he sees her not forgiving him. But as he knows that because of his anger, he has landed in this situation, he is trying to hold on to himself with a hope that any moment she will forgive him & he will hear her speak to him & see her beautiful smile which will lite up his heart & fill his soul !!!
As much as Ahem is hurting by her silence, she is also in pain !!! For Gopi, her day starts with her Ahemji & ends with him & today seeing him hurt because of her silence it is breaking her heart !! She is seeing his efforts to ask for her forgiveness !!! She has long forgiven him but because of her vachan to her Rashiben & with a hope to ensure her marriage is intact & her love, her Ahemji is always with her, she is silent !!! But even in her silence, she is taking comfort from the fact that she is atleast able to take care of all his needs !!!
As Ahem saw Gopi handover his handkerchief even without him asking for it, he was touched to see his wife be there for him !!! He could no longer hold himself back as put his feelings in front of her by asking her "since yesterday, she was not talking with him". He is deeply effected by her silence & he knows he has done a mistake but he wants her to forgive him just this time & he will never, never ever in life ever do something like this. But as he saw her walk away without caring for his feelings, he was angry as she did not seem to care about him, about his feelings, about his hurt & about his apology !!! He walked away in anger to go for work !!!!
Read a Quote in a forward & it is so apt for Gohem
" It's hard : When someone special ignores you !!!
It's hardest: Pretending you do not care !!! "
Ahem is going thru the hard part, but does he realise how hard it is for his wife to pretend silence. He knows her that she does not hold grudges against anyone so why is he not able to tug her heart to share her feelings with him !!! In the past every attempt made by Gopi, let it be making his favourite Gulab Jamoon or getting dressed up for him, or learning & giving his green tea he rejected every attempt of hers to reach his heart !! She learnt everything about him, what he likes , what he does, what he does not like...& even after trying to ensure he has everything his way, she just faced his rejection every moment, every instance !!! Ahem humiliated her in front of his family & never thought about her feelings, but today he is facing the same rejection again & again...night & morning as he is trying to reach her heart & he is feeling the pain !!! Will Gopi be able to be the balm for his pain, will she be able to request her Rashiben or break her promise, to reach his heart !!!
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
