Lavanya Kashyap was an intelligent woman. Extremely practical, in her ways of life. But like all women, all daughters, gave in to her mother's wishes. She didn't believe in the concept of marriage. It seemed extremely futile to her. All the glamour and show, no foundation. And her beliefs were built slowly, right from the age of seven, when the drunkard of her father and promptly left them alone, just because her mother had refused to spare anymore money on alcohol to save up for her education. That eventful day, she had decided that she would do whatever it took to get and keep the smile on her mother's face, no matter what. They had left Mumbai, approximately a year ago and found a job in Delhi a month later. She still remembered the day when her boss had introduced her to Arnav. Polished, expressionless and a ruthless demeanor. She had immediately liked the guy. Admired, would have been a better word, Lavanya thought. He had a past; she knew it the moment she had set eyes on him. Just like her. So months later, when he very formally but profusely explained what his sister meant to him, and what she wanted for him, Lavanya accepted. Why? Because, like her, Arnav also knew this would be a marriage of convenience. A typical arranged marriage. Exactly what she wanted. What her mother wanted. What Arnav's sister wanted.
They didn't know just yet.
And what did they want?Or maybe they did, but refused to accept it. Fight for it.
---
'Payal's wedding is approaching Khush.'
'I know Shalu, she is my sister.'
'Exactly.'
'Exactly what?'
'We need to go shopping.'
'I was expecting this.'
Ajay and Shalini looked at their friend laughing as she sat across them. Tinkling laughter, refreshing. But, held back. Not the kind of laughter that originates from the heart. More like from the throat. Something had changed in her since she had come over last time. Something drastic enough to make the very familiar sparkle in her eyes fade out. But they didn't ask. And they wouldn't until she decided to tell them herself. Because once in a while when she felt even remotely happy, or rather just not the beaten, broken person she had become over the last six months, they were not the ones who were going to spoil it for her.
'What? Why are you both looking at me like that?'
'Like what? Anyways, I was thinking lets go to Connaught Place?'
'Shalu it's too far. And it is freezing cold outside. And you are still weak,' Ajay intervened, a somber look in his eyes.
'Okay, fine. You have given me plenty of reasons. Then, let's go to Dilli Haat? What say Khush?'
'--Dilli Haat---?'
'Yes. They have such nice jewellery. You have to visit that place once before we leave for Goa.'
'Sure, let's go.'
And just as suddenly, the plastered smile on her face crumbled. The previous breezy feeling over the prospect of shopping didn't seen much enjoyable then. Shalu's spicy fish curry that had just attacked her taste-buds, turned plain dull, bland. Her fingers grazed over the thin silver bangles on her wrist. And her friends watched how immediately her eyes, the window to her thoughts, drifted off to another world, unknown to them.
---
'Di I'm not going anywhere, please.'
'Chotte, it is just the INA market, Dilli Haat. Please come?"
'I'm sorry Di. I can't.'
Anjali didn't miss how suddenly the earlier irritation, plain annoyance in his voice suddenly turned into tones of steel, determined, constricted and filled with transparent pain.
'Shyam has a meeting till eight tomorrow. Come to pick me up at least?"
'Fine.'
Arnav gave in. He didn't know why, but he did. That place held memories. Memories that still rekindled a hint of hope in his heart, whenever he thought of the days they had spent together. A stupid, extremely foolish hope, that she might just be there tomorrow still flickered at the back of his mind. He gave in to a small sarcastic laugh at the thought-processing of his brain that made him think in ways he didn't even know he could, till months before.
His resolve to try and just forget her, move on, failed like every other time, yet again.
---
The next morning, three people were absorbed into the small section of the Delhi Times section of the main newspaper, somewhere on Page 3, a small red box, captioned- Arnav Singh Raizada and his beautiful fianc, followed by the picture of their unsmiling faces.
---
Lavanya looked on at the paper. Is this is what she wanted for her? Be married for the rest of her life to someone she barely knew. Someone who she didn't want to know about. Didn't she want to work vigorously, earn as much she could and then book a flight to Egypt or probably any other part of the world and just stay there with her mother, without a care in the world. No strings, that is exactly what she wanted. She looked again at the small red box, and thought hard, over and over again, like she had done for the past few months.
---
Khushi tried hard to blink back the tears, failing as they fell on the crisp paper. The chilly morning breeze hit her face harshly, forcing her to think the worse.
He had moved on then. So quickly? Was it so easy?
The mug of coffee was left unattended, slowly growing cold. Just like her mind, phlegmatic, unfeeling. Her head was running images of his face, in a fleeting pace. Suddenly, she felt she couldn't keep up. She felt, like it was all being snatched away, out her grasp. After six months, after that night, she felt vulnerable, again.
Hope, was washed away from her heart by the November winds, just as easily as it had erupted.
---
Arnav crumbled the fresh newspaper page in his hands, made it into a wrinkled ball and threw it away on the floor. Running his hand through his hair, he paced his room, figuring out what to make of the news, what to think, what to do. He didn't know. For the first time in his life, he felt at a loss. Without a plan. But he did have a plan didn't he. He was to marry Lavanya sometime in the next year. He was supposed to forget about her, let go of her memories. And it was high time he finally understood that she would not be coming back to him. These thoughts attacked his mind, as he picked up the ball of paper, unfolded it, trying to ease out the creases.
And then stared at his future. A future without Khushi.
Then he headed back to his sanctuary, his studio listening to his heart, for the umpteenth time in the past few months. There was still time left, wasn't there? Till then he would stay with her.
---
The nights were even colder. The sky midnight blue, and the little fairy lights hung over the Dilli Haat entrance, spreading around them, a soft yellow.
Arnav sat there in his car, waiting for Anjali. He had given her a call and was slowly turning impatient. Though he couldn't figure out why. Because Di was late by a few minutes, or because of the uneasiness he felt at the sight of the place. He was just about to call her once again, when he saw them.
Khushi was standing at the entrance. A small smile lit up Arnav's face immediately. Six long months, but she was still the same. Still as beautiful as ever, but a little pale, the earlier glow displaced. She was wearing his jacket. The one he had given her on the eventful night of the Ball. Her hair was open. He saw her as she slid her hands into the pockets of the leather jacket, and saw the slight shimmer of silver. He could almost hear the tinkle of the bangles in his ears.
Arnav was just about to open the car door and step out, when he saw her smiling, looking down at the ground, at what someone had said, probably. No, that someone was standing right next to her. And if he was not mistaken, the very same man who he had seen on the campus months before, with her. He got back into the car. Blinking his eyes several times, before he could actually absorb, understand the intensity of that image right in front of him.
'I love you. So, so much. But I can't be with you.'
Her voice rang in his ears mercilessly.
Maybe Love was not for him. He had known it. Believed in that fact. But she had challenged it, like every other thing he believed in, before he had met her. She had made him fall in love with her. Made him give up the pretense, let go of the anger that helped him keep up the charade. Made him human again. And right at the end, she went ahead and ruthlessly inflicted all the pain on him, double the intensity. Only this time, it hurt a lot more, because he was not prepared for the sudden blow.
Time to move on, Arnav. But how? How could he move on, when he was still in love with her?
---
He glanced at her one last time, as he heard Anjali get into the car, next to him.
As if on a queue she looked up, right into his eyes.
But she blinked, for barely half a second.
And just like that he was gone.
Khushi gave it the name of an illusion, and walked away with Ajay, and Shalini, who caught up with them, seconds later.
---
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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