partfour
Anjali Raizada walked into the AR Group's Delhi branch. Clad in formal black trousers, her white shirt with grey thin stripes tucked in, pencil heel shoes clicking against the polished tiled floor and hair tied in a tight pony-tail; the woman was nowhere close to the shy and sweet Anjali Shyam Jha everyone knew her as. She came to a halt at the corner of the corridor that led to her cabin and swiftly turned around, her gaze shooting daggers as everyone scurried off to their desks.
"This is not a gossip-house nor a caf or a restaurant. Get back to work. Now!" And then she walked into her cabin, opening the sketchpad and her box of pencil colours; before she started to sketch the new range of bridal wear that was to be released in exactly two months time.
oO0Oo
"How is Anjali Ji now?" Khushi asked as she moved about her room, putting the blanket back in place and adjusting the pillows as the Saturday morning sun began to rise to another hot yet bright day ahead.
"She is better, but still... distant?" Payal began as she sat on the chair, watching her sister who had refused any help from her. She had seen Arnav's misery the night before, had talked to Akash but they both had failed to come up with anything to fix the mess that was now their siblings lives. " Yes, she's very distant from everyone. She doesn't talk to anyone, mostly stays at the office. When she's at home, all she does is sketch the new line of clothes that our company would be releasing. The only people she ever talks to properly are Akash, me and Ananya. Ever since the day Arnav Ji and everyone else accused you, she has stopped talking to them. It's almost as if she doesn't know them or has any relation with them. And do you know who is hurting the most from this?"
"Arnav Ji!" Khushi answered Payal's question before she could even finish. "I don't know why Anjali Di is still not forgiving him though. Can't she see how much her brother's suffering? I would talk to her, but she refuses to speak to me too. I still don't get why she's ignoring me."
"You really don't know Khushi?" Payal asked with such seriousness in her tone, it shook Khushi.
"I... I don't. I really don't know why."
"Because you... I don't know how to put it in words because I am afraid it will hurt you."
Khushi gasped as realisation dawned on her. "Is it because... because I've been so distant from Arnav Ji?" She asked as the little beads of tears started to shine in her eyes.
"Khushi!" Payal got up and embraced her sister, taking her in a loving and warm hug. "Please don't cry. And no, that's not the reason. The truth is that... that she is angry at you... angry at you for moving to Lucknow and she misses you, that's all." Payal tried to lie convincingly, but she knew that she had failed.
"Stop lying Jiji. I know why Anjali Ji is so angry at me. I know okay? So stop cooking up lies. Just'" She sobbed on her sister's shoulders, wondering why no one understood what she was going through, what she had gone through and why she was doing what she was. "Why does no one see the reason behind my behaviour?" She mumbled.
Payal had tried to see through her sister's way of things but had failed. Yes, she agreed that she indeed needed some time to heal from the wounds of the past, but she couldn't see why even after three years, she wasn't ready to let it go. Three months ago, when Khushi had come to Delhi, Payal had tried to talk to her about it, but all in vain. Her temper had started to rise, but she had kept it under control, siding her sister throughout this time. But when Khushi had asked why Anjali didn't see the pain Arnav was suffering, she had felt like yelling at her, shaking her to ask her why she herself didn't see Arnav's pain. But then she had cried, and when Payal's little sister shed tears, nothing else mattered to her. And then Khushi had gone on to ask why no one understood, and Payal's patience had snapped. She let go of Khushi, her eyes ablaze with anger. Sure Khushi was her sister, but Arnav was now like an older brother to her, and she was done with siding Khushi. She was going to make her sister answer today.
"Khushi, I know you don't like talking about this topic, but I think it's high time you answer some questions. Do you promise that you will?" Payal asked, her voice firm; giving Khushi a clear message that there was no way out today.
"Jiji, if it's regarding-" Khushi tried to avoid the situation, but all in vain.
"Yes or no Khushi? If it's a yes, then I might as well stay. But if it is a no, then I don't think I can't continue with this anymore. I am sorry, but I think you're just' stretching it too much."
"Jiji'" Khushi whispered, her throat constricted with tears. The one person who had stood by her side for the past three years was now backing out.
"I am sorry if this hurts Khushi, but you need to understand that this is not just about you or Arnav Ji anymore. No one shows this to you, but none of us are happy with the way things are. At least give us an explanation for God's sake! Are you going to answer me or not?"
o0O0o
Arnav heard Payal's voice from Khushi's bedroom, telling her how no one liked this behavior and his anger flared. He hated it when they forced Khushi to takes decisions regarding this issue. Of course he wanted answers too, but he would wait. If he could wait for three years, then he could wait a little longer. He almost walked into the room, but saw Khushi give a simple nod to Payal, agreeing to answer all the questions today and he stopped. A small part of his heart wanted to yell at Payal for pushing Khushi into this situation, but the larger part of it wanted answers, and so he stood there and listened.
o0O0o
"Why are you doing this Khushi? Why? You ask me why Anjali Di doesn't see Arnav Ji's hurt, but do you see his hurt? Do you know what he is going through? Do you know that he's nothing like this when he's back in Delhi? He' he is like a lifeless man at home. Do you know that? Or are you just so blinded by your damned self-respect and ego that you refuse to see it?" Payal's voice was dripping with fury and for the first time in her life, Khushi was scared; scared of her sister and the rage she saw in her eyes. "Answer me Khushi. Do you know what he's going through?"
"Jiji, I' yes, I know."
"Then why are you doing this? What exactly do you think are you getting out of this?"
"You think I am blinded by my self-respect and ego. How to you expect me to know the answers to those questions Jiji?"
"Stop trying to get out of this situation Khushi!"
"I am not!" Khushi yelled, pushing herself off the bed and walking towards the window that looked down at the backyard. "It's just' You are my sister. And if you out of everyone else refuse to understand me, then what am I supposed to do? I would have happily answered all of your questions, but you called me blind enough to not see what he is going through. You can see all the pain that he going through, but it's sad that you can't see the pain in my eyes. It's sad that you don't know how much I have gone through in the past three years. It's sad that everyone expected me to run back to him after he called me a down-market, cheap and characterless woman." She saw Arnav's reflection in the glass window and noticed how he flinched, saw the guilt on his face and immediately changed the direction the talk was headed to. "I needed time, and it wasn't to hurt him. I needed it to build mytrust. You don't even know that I had sent a letter with Nanhe Ji addressed to him, telling him the reason why I had moved to Lucknow. In fact, you all know nothing. He understood me, but you all failed. And that makes me sad Jiji. Three years, three long years' I have been living through a heart-break every single day. But all you ever saw was Arnav Ji's pain, Arnav Ji's changed behaviour, Arnav Ji this, Arnav Ji that. Just because I smiled and hid my pain, you didn't see it. So much for you knowing me inside out Jiji!"
Payal sat there, shell shocked at Khushi's outburst. She realized now that she had failed at being the elder sister Khushi needed. She had failed at seeing her own blood's pain. She had failed herself and her sister. Guilt seeped in and she had nothing to do but apologise. "Khushi, I am-"
Khushi spun on her feet, her face blank and spoke with such coldness, Payal couldn't fathom it. "You wanted answers, well then listen. Three years ago, I left Arnav Ji and I left him for his own good. I had lost my trust in him and he knows that. I sent him letter, told him I needed time for my trust to build, told him I wanted to study and make something out of my life, and that I wanted to live in Lucknow because this place is home. He never asked me any questions till date, because he knew what I wanted. He had asked me to move to Delhi after one year of my studies, but I insisted on staying here. Do you know why? Because I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. If I would have been working in AR in Delhi, I would have felt that he was doing a favour on me, maybe being partial. Working in Lucknow gave my inner conscious the assurance that it was only my efforts that were getting me this far ahead in life. So when he asked me to move to Delhi yesterday, I agreed. He asked me if I was still holding onto the past but I didn't answer. Do you know why Jiji? Because I wanted to make it special for us, for him. I wanted him to remember the day we finally got together. He was in a bad mood at that time because he thought it was all his fault. So I denied any answers. I was in my room all day, thinking of every possible way to surprise him. But sadly, my sister wanted to question my love for him and he overheard it all."
Arnav's eyes met Khushi's and he saw the same amount of love in them that he had seen for all these years, all for him. He didn't stop the lone tear from escaping his eye, nor did he stop himself from smiling a whole hearted smile. All he did was stand there, and waited for her to continue. He knew Payal had turned to look at him, had heard her gasp in shock; but his eyes were locked with the woman in the red suit.
"You know Jiji," Khushi continued, "they say time heals all wounds of the past but for me, that never happened. They say that what doesn't kill you, scars you. My broken heart sure didn't kill me, it just hurt a lot. It didn't heal, but it left me some scars."
"Khushi, what are you saying?" Payal asked as she saw Arnav's fallen face, but Khushi only smiled.
"But you know, that doesn't matter. Do you know why? Because these scars, they remind me of his love." Her eyes met his once again and she saw how his face lit up. Before she knew it, Payal had taken her in a bone crushing hug. She heard her sister say something along the lines of a sorry and then run out of the room to see her husband, but all that didn't register in her mind. All she saw was Arnav and the slight smile mixed with confusion on his face. She silently led him inside the room, just like she had walked him into the home yesterday. He sat on the bed, waiting for her to say something but she continued cleaning up the room. He called out for her once, twice, but all he got in response was a mere 'hmm'. His patience snapped and he purposefully strode towards her, taking a hold of her wrist and pulling her flush against him.
"Khushi, talk dammit. I have been waiting so patiently, but this is it okay? Can you tell what me what exactly was it that you meant about all those scars and... lord knows what?" He spoke and noticed her gaze was fixed on her wrist which he was holding mercilessly. His eyes closed on their own accord. What was he doing? Going back to his old ways? He let go of her hand and stepped back. "I'm sorry." He simply said and turned to walk out of the room.
"I missed that." She whispered and he stopped. He turned around and slowly walked back to where Khushi was standing.
"You missed what?" He asked softly.
"You know... you holding me by my arms, or wrists, or shoulders, or whatever. I missed that." She finished with a smile and Arnav let out a chuckle.
"You missed it? I thought you hated it."
"I hated it back then. Then three years without you made me realise how much I really miss this, miss you... miss us." She looked into his eyes and solemnly confessed.
"Do I take that as a 'I love you' from you?"
"No you don't!"
"Why?" He asked, faking a shocked expression on his face.
"Because remember, in my version of the story, the guy says the "I love you" first and then the girl?"
"So your story can't change?"
"You've changed it enough already don't you think?"
He pretended to ponder over her thoughts and then nodded in agreement. "Fair enough!"
"Well..."
"Well what?"
"Break the ice already?"
"Mhmm!" He murmured and then pulled her closer, taking in her sweet smell of jasmine, lost in the world of Khushi. He backed her up against the wall and with their lips tantalisingly close he whispered, "I love you!" before lightly pecking them. He watched as her cheeks turned a crimson red, the colour a stark contrast against her creamy white skin. She looked flustered to say the least and he couldn't help but smirk at the effect he had on her. "Khushi? Aren't you supposed to say something?"
"Am I?" She whispered, and then gulped hard. Her brain was in a frenzy and she was trying hard to connect the dots. What had just happened? She remembered him murmuring something, and then the next moment she was up against the wall. He had said something again, possibly confessed. Had he kissed her? She shook her head, trying to get herself back together, but with the close proximity they were in, she failed. The next thing she knew, Arnav had backed away and walked out of the room, Payal had shaken her and told her that they needed to pack. She was going to give her exam in Delhi through correspondence since the college had agreed; and for the rest of the day, Arnav didn't show his face to her.
o0O0o
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