"Mujhe laga nahin tha ki you were capable of this level of deception," Ashutosh said playfully after breaking the hug.
"Ji?" Nidhi did not realize that he was joking and was scandalized.
He smiled "Kabhi tumne apne man ki baat mujhe pata hi chalne di?"
"To aapne kaun sa..." Nidhi started to reply, but suddenly felt shy and bit her lips.
"Chalo kahin aur chal kar ye jhagda nibtate hain," Ashutosh smiled as he understood her unfinished statement.
"Kahan chalenge?"
"Tumhein immediately ghar to nahin jaana hai?"
"Main Baba ko bol kar aayi thi ki main dus baje tak lautungi."
Ashutosh looked at his watch, "Abhi do ghante hain hamare paas. Dinner karna chahogi?"
Nidhi nodded.
Ashutosh took her to an Indian restaurant and they found a table for two in a corner. Initially they busied themselves with ordering the food and then succumbed to an awkward silence while waiting for the food to come. Nidhi wasn't even meeting his eyes for most part. He felt amused.
He made a slight sound by tapping his spoon on the table to draw her attention.
She looked up, "Ji?"
"Kahan khoyi hui ho?"
"Kahin nahin..."
"Kuchh bol hi nahin rahi ho?"
"Main... kya boloon?"
"Apne baare mein kuchh batao."
"Mere baare mein kya bataun? Aap to aap sab jaante hi hain."
"That's not true."
"To poochh lijiye jo nahin jaante hain."
That made Ashutosh laugh, "Achchha to pahle to jo sawaal maine poochha tha, usee ka jawaab do. Armaan se jo kaha tha woh sach tha ya nahin?"
"Mujhe nahin pata..." Nidhi said nervously.
"Nahin pata?" Ashutosh raised his eyebrows.
"Matlab maine utna... socha nahin tha. Bas aapne kaha, isliye aa gayi party mein."
Ashutosh noticed her sweaty palms and how she was fidgeting, "Tum nervous ho, Nidhi?"
She was startled by this sudden question. "Na... nahin," she said out of courtesy at first, but gave in immediately afterwards, "Haan. Main... meri kuchh samajh mein nahin aa raha hai, main aapse kya baatein karoon, kya kahun, kya poochhoon. Aise achanak sab..."
"Hey. Wait," he shifted his chair so that he could sit next to her, instead of opposite her and then took her hand in his, "Calm down. Tumhein ghabraane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Kuchh badal thode hi na gaya hai. Main wahi Ashutosh hoon jise tum pichhle teen mahino se jaanti ho, right?"
She smiled in embarrassment and nodded. He continued, "Aur tumhein aaj raat koi apni zindagi ka faisla nahin karna hai, Nidhi. I know it has all been so sudden. Aur shayad tumhein dheere-dheere is baat ki enormity ka ahsaas ho raha hai. Tumhare man mein bahut saare confusions honge, sawaal honge. We will take it easy, take it slow aur sab sawaalon ke jawaab milne ke baad hi hum koi bhi kadam uthayenge. All right?"
She just nodded.
"Tum please pareshaan mat hona, Nidhi," Ashutosh said somberly, "Tum pareshaan na ho, mujhse naaraaz na ho, isliye hi to maine apne man ki baat kabhi zaahir nahin hone di. Bas ye ek cheez main..."
"Main aapse kabhi naaraaz nahin ho sakti," she spoke so surely that Ashutosh was surprised.
Just then the waiter brought and served the food. They started eating in silence again, when he noticed her body language.
"Kuchh kahna chahti ho?" he asked.
"Aapko kaise pata?"
"Maine kaha na, deception is not something you are capable of. Isliye to maine surprised tha ki tumhare man ki baat aaj tak mujhe pata kaise nahin chali? Batao. Kya baat hai?"
"Main sapne mein bhi nahin soch sakti thi ki aap... aap mujhse... How is that possible?"
"Apni taareef sunna chahti ho?" Ashutosh teased her.
"Nahin. Main seriously poochh rahi hoon. Mujhe to hamesha aisa laga..."
"Kya laga?"
"Ki aap kabhi apne man ki baatein, apni pareshaaniyan mujhse share nahin karna chahte. Agar main kabhi poochh leti thi to aap naraaz ho jaate the..."
"And yet Dr. Nidhi Verma, mere baare mein, meri zindagi ke baare mein, meri khushiyon aur pareshaaniyon ke baare mein jitna aap jaanti hain, utna koi aur nahin jaanta." Nidhi stared at him. He continued after a pause, "Aur unhein jitna sensitively aap handle karti hain, aur koi nahin karta. Sawaal tumhara invalid nahin hai, Nidhi. Aakhir jab maine pahli baar ek intern ko kone ki chair par nervously baithe hue dekha tha to mujhe thode hi na pata tha ki teen mahinon ke andar I would want her in my life more than my life itself."
"Lekin... aap to.. aapne mujhse to kuchh... kaha nahin..."
"Pahle to main... accept hi nahin kar raha tha. To tumhein resist karne ki koshish ki. Phir mujhe laga ki tum mujhe accept nahin karogi. To isliye maine is baat se santosh kar liya ki tum thi meri life mein. Rishte ka koi naam nahin tha, shayad dost ki tarah se, at least. Main usse zyada paane ki koshish mein tumhein khone ka risk nahin utha sakta tha."
Nidhi looked at him, her emotions clearly showing in her eyes, and smiled, "You are being so humble."
"No. I still can't believe that you didn't vehemently oppose what Armaan said in the party. Nidhi, How on earth did you fall for someone like me?"
"Someone like you? Matlab?"
"Well... Dr. Hardstone. Strict, rude, boring..."
"Competent, professional, caring... Hardness ka mask laga rakha the jisne, apne dard aur akelepan ko chhipaane ke liye. Mujhse behtar kaun jaan sakta tha?"
Ashutosh smiled. They were done with eating.
"Chalo. Tumhein ghar chhod deta hoon."
"Nahin Sir. Aapko ulta padega. Mujhe auto mil jayega."
"Don't be an idiot. Itni raat mein tumhein akele nahin jaane doonga."
"Main hamesha akele hi jaati hoon."
"Not any longer Nidhi. You will have to keep your ego aside and humour me on this one. Tumhein idea nahin hai ki maine kitni baar tumhein akele bhaag-daud karte dekha hai aur khud ko sirf isliye roka hai kyonki mujhe haq nahin tha. Lekin ab hai. Please!"
Nidhi smiled coyly and nodded.
"Sir. Baba se mil kar jaiye," Nidhi said when they pulled up in front of her home.
"Sure. Lekin usse pahle ek request thi."
"Request?" Nidhi looked embarrassed at his use of the word, "Request kyon kah rahe hain. Boliye na."
"Kal subah hospital jaldi aa sakti ho?"
"Kyon?"
"Bas aise hi," Ashutosh said with slight embarrassment, "Agar pareshaani na ho to..."
"Haan... Nahin..." Nidhi realized that he just wanted to spend time with her and stammered in the embarrassment of not understanding earlier, "Koi pareshaani nahin hai. Main aa jaungi. Kitne baje?"
That question made Ashutosh laugh, "Ghar se nikalne se pahle mujhe phone kar dena."
"Ji."
--
"Dost, dost na raha..." Armaan welcomed Ashutosh home dramatically singing the song completely out of tune.
Ashutosh blushed, but did not take the bait and did not say anything to him.
"Lo bhai. Thank you tak nahin. Ashu. Mujhe tujhse ye ummeed nahin thi."
"Thank you thoda chhota word hai Armaan, kissi ki zindagi badal dene ke badle."
"Aaye-haye. Kya se kya ho gaye, Dr. Nidhi ke pyaar mein. Tum to shayar ban gaye bhai. Achchha batao, kya baatein hui?"
"Armaan!"
"Ab itna jaanne ka haq to banta hai mera, after what I did," Armaan said with a mock frown.
"Koi baat nahin hui. Woh bahut zyada ghabrayi hui thi, Armaan."
"Haan. Ghabrana to padega hi. Bechari Dr. Hardstone ke pyaar mein jo pad gayi hai. Zindagi barbaad hai ab to."
"Shut up, Armaan."
"Okay. Okay. Ab serious. Woh khush hai?"
"I think so."
"Abe tujhe pata hona chahiye."
"I know. But this was all too sudden for her. Armaan - uske dil mein jo bhi tha, lekin it seems woh meri taraf se kuchh expect nahin kar rahi thi. To usne zyada kuchh socha nahin hai is baare. Tujhe uski halat dekhni chahiye thi. For a moment to mujhe sach mein laga ki kahan phansa diya use. I told her to take it easy and slow. Phir thoda relaxed hui."
"Hmmm. I am not surprised. She is young. Tujhe uske saath thoda patient hona padega. Don't hurry her into anything."
"Yeah."
--
Nidhi got up earlier than usual and finished all the housework. Baba was surprised to find her in the kitchen already by the time he woke up.
"Kya hua Nidhi? Itni subah subah?"
"Baba. Hospital mein kaam hai thoda. Jaldi jaana hai."
"To rahne do na thode kaam. Main kar doonga."
"Nahin Baba. Uski koi zaroorat nahin hai. Kaam hota hi kitna hai?"
"Zyada nahin hota hai, to mujhe hi karne diya karo."
"Baba! Aap fresh ho jaiye. Main aapki chai bana deti hoon."
"Maanti nahin hai meri baat," Baba murmured.
--
"I'm sorry Dr. Ashutosh. Mujhe pahunchne mein der ho gayi. Woh darasal bus..."
"Calm down. Nidhi - ye koi duty par report karne ka time nahin tha."
"Yeah... Lekin aapko wait karna pada..."
Ashutosh smiled. Seeing her so baffled, he couldn't have told her that he had come to the hospital even before she had called about leaving from home.
"Sit down. Aur saans le lo zara," he directed her to a chair and sat down himself on one opposite hers. He took a good look at her and figured that he should offer her water, which he did.
"Thank you," she said and gulped it down in one go.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
"Ji."
"Itna hadbada kyon gayi thi?"
"Aapko late karna pasand nahin hai..."
"Tumhein yahan tumhare boss ne nahin bulaya tha."
"Ji," she looked embarrassed, "Aadat nahin hai na..."
"Yeah," Ashutosh smiled, "Waise ye sach hai ki main besabri se tumhara intezaar kar raha tha. Lekin main nahin chahunga ki uski wajah se tumhari jaan par aafat aa jaye."
"Main theek hoon."
"Good. Waise main tumse kuchh baat bhi karna chahta tha. I'm sure, tumne bhi kaafi kuchh socha hoga, kal shaam ke baare mein, apne baare mein, mere baare mein..."
Nidhi blushed. Of course, she had. But all that had happened after the thinking was that she had felt like she was floating in the sky, as if all her dreams had come true.
Ashutosh saw her blushing and continued in a thoughtful tone, "Ek baar maine Armaan se bhi kaha tha. Ki hamari feelings jo hain, woh hain. Unka koi kuchh nahin kar sakta. Aur hamare liye ye achchha hua ki humne woh express kar di. Lekin zindagi ke faislon mein feelings ke alaawa aur cheezein bhi matter karti hain."
He found her looking at him curiously when he paused, "Compatibility matter karti hai, common interests matter karte hain. Aur ye sab cheezein age se affect hoti hain, jiska faasla hamare beech mein bahut zyada hai."
She looked scared as she asked, "Aap kahna kya chahte hain?"
"Kuchh bhi aisa nahin jisse tumhein darne ki zaroorat ho. Maine duniya dekhi hai Nidhi. Mujhe itna experience hai ki main apni feelings ko samajh sakoon, unki stability par rely kar sakoon. Lekin tumhari zindagi abhi shuru hi ho rahi hai. Isliye main nahin chahta ki tum apni zindagi ka koi faisla jaldbaazi mein karo. Tumhare saamne kai options honge, ya aage aayenge. Tum aisa koi bhi faisla jazbaaton mein bah kar mat karna jisse tumhein baad mein pachhtava ho."
"Aapka apne liye kya faisla hai?"
"Mere liye mera ye faisla hai ki main tumhein kho nahin sakta. Tumhein apni zindagi mein rakhne ke liye mujhe jo bhi karna hoga karoonga. Tumhein mere saath jo bhi rishta kabool hoga, main usmein khush rahunga, even if it is not the best I had hoped for. But you must be happy!"
"Aap kabhi apne baare mein nahin sochte kya? Har waqt meri fikr?"
"Main to apne alaawa kissi ke baare mein sochna nahin jaanta tha Nidhi. Agar thoda bhi seekha hai to tumse hi seekha hai."
"Phir to guru gud, chela cheeni ho gaya."
Ashutosh smiled. They looked at the watch. Their duties were about to begin.
"Shaam mein kahin chalogi?" he asked.
"Main Baba ke liye dinner bana kar nahin aayi hoon..." Nidhi looked embarrassed.
"Koi baat nahin," Ashutosh hastened to assure her, "Aaj ki tarah kal subah..."
"Ji. Theek hai."
"Aur shaam mein duty khatam hone par mujhse mil kar hi nikalna."
"Ji."
--
"Chalo. Tumhein ghar chhod doon," he said when she came to his office in the evening.
"Isliye aapne mujhe mil kar jaane ko bola tha?"
"Hmmm..."
"Aap kya roz roz mere driver bane phirenge?"
"Tumhare saath thoda samay bitane ka tareeka hai. Agle hafte se to tum ward mein bhi nahin rahogi."
"Lekin..."
"Itna mat socho. Chalo."
--
"Dr. Ashutosh," Nidhi said during their ride back home.
"Hmm?"
"Aapne jo subah kaha..."
"Yeah?"
"Kya aapko mujh par bharosa nahin hai?"
Ashutosh applied brakes and stopped the car.
"Maine aisa to nahin kaha, Nidhi?"
"Main aapke jitni mature nahin hoon shayad, lekin I am not fickle..."
"Hey. Wait. You know what. Tum mujhse zyada hi mature ho. Jitni calmly tum apni problems, apni life ko handle karti ho, jitni kam umra mein tumne apne oopar itni saari responsibilities le li hain, aur unhein nibhaya hai, I don't know anyone else... No. I didn't mean anything like that."
"Phir?"
"Jo maine kaha tha, tum use meri insecurities samjho. Main sure nahin hoon ki main tumhein khush rakh paunga ya nahin, tumhari pasand-napasand mein tumhara saath de paunga ya nahin, tum apni umra ke logon ke saath jis tarah ki cheezein enjoy kar sakti ho, jaisi zindagi ji sakti ho, waisi main tumhein de paunga ya nahin. Meri baat samajh rahi ho na."
"Aapko kaise bharosa hoga ki main aapke saath khush rahungi."
"Pata nahin. Lekin shayad mera dil ya destiny mujhe bata degi."
Nidhi nodded thoughtfully and they drove on.
--
Sports
Kumkum Bhagya
