True Colors -Thread 2 - Page 73

'Khushi!" Arnav exclaimed in horror seeing her. How much had she heard? Had she heard everything? Dear God no! He had never meant for all these to be heard by her. "Khushi listen'" he started walking towards her.

With every step he took, she walked backwards'reminding him of the days before marriage. Tears were streaming down her eyes, "Khushi wait'" he tried to reach her.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed hysterically.

"Khushiji, watch out there are glass pieces on the floor," Anjali warned seeing the pieces of the glass that had just broken and Khushi walking around it.

"Khushi watch out. You will cut yourself," Arnav almost screamed.

"Like you care'it will be good for you if something happens to me and the baby, you can live in peace," Khushi said and precisely at that moment, she stepped on a big piece of glass lying on the floor. In her half drowsy state and anxiety to search for Arnav, Khushi had forgotten to wear her slippers.

Arnav watched in horror as blood oozed from her feet and Khushi tipped forward. He caught her in time, but realized she had fainted.

"The wound is not critical Mr Raizada. But her BP is high. In her condition this could prove costly if repeated. Right now I have given her injections to keep her BP low, but you need to be careful. The next time something like this happens it could prove fatal for the child or her," The doctor warned.

"What can I do to help doctor," Arnav asked.

"She should not face any anxiety. She should be kept as happy as possible. And yes. No meal skipping or missing out on sleep," the doctor warned. "Call me if she doesn't come round in an hour's time. But I think she will. Take care," he said and left.

Arnav looked at Khushi's tear strained face and motionless figure. She looked like an angel in sleep. She was an angel! One part of him said. But born to a devil! The other part whispered.

No! How could he think of his wife and the mother of his child and the only woman in the world he loved so much, as someone other than what she was to him. How did her father's sins weigh on what he felt for her?

But it did! His soul was heavy with the feeling of guilt about the fact that his love for Khushi was disloyalty to his dead parents! The guilt made him feel like a jerk! This woman was going to have his child and he was feeling guilty about loving her!

And if he did not feel the guilt of loving her, he felt guilty about his parents and Di. Oh God!

Arnav sank his head in his hands in confusion and grief. Why? Why did the only woman he ever loved, always unintentionally come between him and his family loyalty? Why was fate doing this to him? He loved Khushi so much'he would be dead without her.

Only a few minutes back when she had fainted, he had been terrified of losing her. Even now he could not even think beyond the time she would open her beautiful eyes and look at him with her tender love again'.

When Khushi regained consciousness, her thoughts were muddled. What had happened? Why was her feet hurting? She tied to open her eyes, but they felt heavy. And then she remembered'.Arnav saying'.

"Every time I feel love for her, which is always, I will feel I am betraying Mom.

Every time I touch her, I will remember how her father tried to touch you.

Every time I laugh with her, I will remember the tears you and Mom shed.

Every time I look forward to my baby, I will remember that it is also that man's grandson, the same man who killed my parents.

What am I to do Di? How can I handle this? I can't leave her and I can't live with her peacefully'"

Her heart squeezed in remembered anguish.

Had he just said that about her?

Had he just said that about their love?

Had he just said that about the passion they shared?

And'.her heart felt like it would explode when she thought'had he just said that about their unborn baby? Her precious baby who had not even see the world yet?

Her hand moved protectively around her baby bump'Arnav would feel guilty about the baby too? How could he? About his own child?

Then a small part of her reminded her'she was not actually what he was thinking.

She was not Devesh Dubey's daughter. Not even a blood relative.

All she had to do was tell him after he apologized and confessed he loved her as always'

"Khushi! Khushi! Are you awake?"Arnav asked in concern. "Khushi open your eyes, I saw you move your hand. Please Khushi," Arnav urged.

Slowly Khushi opened her eyes. She really did not want to see him or talk to him right now. But she had no choice. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

He did not see love but intense pain in her eyes. He knew he had put it there. He knew he should apologize and make her feel better. But what after that? She would expect him to be just as before and he would not be able to. May be with time'yes. But now the past had created a gaping hole in his heart and between them.

"Khushi are you fine? How are you feeling? Are your feet hurting? Do you need something? Do you feel the baby moving? Is the baby fine?" he shot a million questions to her anxiously.

Khushi's heart felt a certain peace. 'Things are just the same. He still loves and cares like before' she thought.

She nodded still refusing to speak to him because the pain wouldn't go away.

"Khushi, the doctor said you should take care. You should not take any stress or tension. It's not good for you and the baby," he continued. She nodded. She thought 'Just say it. Say you don't mean what you said back then'. Her heart was urging him.

Arnav watched her silent nod. He thought 'I wish I could say I did not mean those things. I wish I could say it does not matter who your father was. I wish I could say it does not make me feel guilty about loving the daughter of my family's destructor. But I can't Khushi. It's not you, but it's my deep rooted anger against that man and my utter loyalty to my family'.

"The doctor left behind these medicines. You hav to have them now. Here I will give them to you," he said and got the water and the medicines.

Gently he gave her the medicines and fed the water to her.

Again Khushi looked at him 'Just say the words Arnav. Say that I am more important to you than who I am born to. Say that nothing can come between our love'.

But all Arnav said was ''I am sorry you had to hear all that Khushi. I never intended to hurt you. But don't hold it to your heart. Just take care of yourself and the baby. You know I am a jerk sometimes. "

That was all? He did not say he did not mean it. He did not say 'You know how much I love you'. He did not say that she and the baby meant more to him than her past!

"Khushi. I will go and get some food for you. Just don't get up from the bed. Take rest," he said and left the room.

For a long time after he left, Khushi looked into the space, unseeing, uncaring of her surroundings.

So he did mean it!

He had meant every word.

It mattered to him who her father was and not what she meant to him.

It mattered to him that he hated her father and not that he loved her or she loved him.

It mattered to him that this baby was Devesh Dubey's grandson, as per what he thought.

Khushi's heart turned to stone.

No she would not tell him her real parent was not Devesh Dubey. That he was not even her blood relative.

She would not tell him that the baby he was scared to welcome was not Devesh Dubey's grandson.

What if she had been Devesh Dubey's daughter?

What if she had not known what she knew now that her assumed father was not real?

Would Arnav still love and accept her in his heart?

She had to know.

She had given her agnipariksha about Shyam.

She had been desperate to prove her innocence. Desperate for him to believe her. Desperate for one chance of happiness with him.

Now she had the proof but she would not give it.

Now she had the means to make things normal. But she would not use it.

Now she would not beg or prove or justify herself for Arnav's love.

Now He had to give the agnipariksha.

Now he had to find a way to love her, despite what he believed.

Now he had to prove he was worthy of her love.

Now he had to prove himself and justify himself and earn her love.

Khushi kept her hand on the baby and said "My darling, if your father loves us unconditionally despite everything, we will be a part of his world. If not you and I will make a world for ourselves, where there is no room for judgment. Your Dad has time till you are born, to be worthy of you and Mom'."

The tear drops from her eyes spilled over to bathe her baby bump as she bent to hug the little life she carried'the life that was a part of the man she could never hate no matter what'