😃god this is HIL:ARIOUS...i hadf a ball of a tym reading this...reminded me of the book WHERE RAINBOWS END by cecelia ahern...plz continue soon n pm me when u update...im loving this!!!
Thank you once again everyone for showing so much love. It really does mean so much that you are all enjoying it. I'm only as good as you guys let me be though, so if there's anything that bothers you or that you think could be done better- feel free to let me know. :)
Thank you again and I hope you enjoy Part Three 😆
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Singh Raizada, Anjali
Subject: Policeman
Di,
I'm not angry, just disappointed.
Arnav
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From: Singh Raizada, Anjali
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Listen Closely Chotte...
If you ever use the "not angry, just disappointed" line on me again, I'll punch you in the boob.
Di
P.S. How is Khushiji?
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Singh Raizada, Anjali
Subject: Excuse Me?
Are you nearing menopause, Di? I know it's a sensitive issue and all but seriously, I think you should see a Doctor. I hear mood swings and uncharacteristic behaviour are possible symptoms.
Arnav
P.S. She's fine. She's currently feeding the policeman you sent to arrest me as well as the ambulance driver and paramedics you sent to make sure I hadn't killed her.
P.P.S. It saddens me that you would think me capable of such a thing in the first place. I told you, I read on some forum for an Indian Drama somewhere that apparently grabbing women by the arms so hard that they bruise and then pinning them against walls/ pillars/ doors can be considered domestic violence.
I always just thought I was being sexy, you know?
P.P.P.S. I do not have boobs/ a boob.
P.P.P.P.S. Can you imagine if somebody just had one boob?
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From: Singh Raizada, Anjali
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Menopause
Chotte... in the last year I got pregnant, miscarried, fell into a bout of manic depression, found out my husband was a creep, threw your wife out of the house because I thought she was responsible for making my husband a creep, realised I was being a moron and that my husband was creepy all on his own, brought your wife back, sent my creep of a husband to jail and finally got a divorce.
I hope you're feeling sufficiently guilty now. Are you doing that really cute face you do when you realise you've been a Class A tool? You know, the one where you clench your fists and jaw and then kind of do the Princess Diana downwards glance?
Di
P.S. Ahaa! Of course she is. That's our Khushiji. Has she met Dhruv yet? I'm sure they'll get on. If Khushiji, NK bhai and Dhruv ever got together... It'd be so much fun! I know! We should have another party when you get back. We're ALWAYS having random and convenient parties at the Raizada house. What difference will another one make? After all, YOU'RE paying.
P.P.S. You need counseling... Seriously.
P.P.P.S. Yes you do. Get on that treadmill, fatty.
P.P.P.P.S. I'll refer you back to "P.P.S".
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Singh Raizada, Anjali
Subject: P.P.P.S.
I am not fat.
Arnav
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From: Singh Raizada, Anjali
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Way To Go Pick Up On The Most Pertinent Part Of The E-mail
Alright then Chubs.
Di
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: I Am SO Sorry Bhabhi!
Honestly Bhabz, I totally had no idea you were Nanav's wife. I mean, I always thought if he was going to marry anyone it'd be some vapid s**t, you know? Someone convenient to satisfy his physical needs and desires.
Not someone as real (or, quite frankly insane) as you.
Not that you're not pretty. Or that you're incapable of satisfying Nanav's physical needs and desires.
Oh gross. I don't even want to think about that...
Anyway, I'm really, really sorry I tried to hit on you earlier. I honestly thought your mangalsutra was just a nice necklace.
Dhruv
P.S. Sorry if this came off as a little inappropriate, but hey, you're family now. And family forgives, right?
P.P.S. I'm sorry I just have to ask. HOW exactly did you and Nanav end up married? I literally am still in a state of shock.
P.P.P.S. I forgive you for punching me in the face when I patted your arse so please don't tell Nanav okay? I accidentally drooled on his teddy bear once when we were sleeping next to each other as kids and when he found out the next morning, he dressed me in one of aunty's salwars, made me lie flat on my stomach on the dining table, then took my hands and feet and tied them together... I was left like that until the family came down to breakfast.
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: No Worries Dhruvji
I just have one question- What's a s**t? If it just means somebody who satisfies all their husband's physical needs and desires, then I am s**t No. 1. Just call me Mrs s**t.
I satisfy all of Arnavji's physical needs: when he's hungry- I feed him. When he's thirsty- I give him water. I handle all his technical difficulties- I make sure nobody lights mosquito coils or gives him sugar. I make sure he takes his medicine on time.
I also satisfy all his physical desires: when he has neck ache from staring at his laptop all day- I massage his neck. When he's tired- I make sure he goes to sleep. If he's sleeping in an awkward position or ends up on my side of the bed by accident, I push him over until he's back to normal.
Is that the kind of stuff you mean?
Arnavji and I ended up married because he's an idiot. I'll fill you in later.
Ahahahaaha! Really? That sounds brilliant. Did you ever get revenge? That kind of action deserves the WORST kind of revenge. I'll help you!!
Khushi Bhabhi
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: Revenge
Trust me Khushi Bhabhz.
From what you just told me, the poor guy is suffering enough.
Also, let me assure you that you are most definitely not a s**t.
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: What Manner Of Sorcery Is This???
Is Bhabhi for real?
If she is... I do not know how you're still alive bro. Seriously.
How have you not completely lost it?!
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: Is Khushi For Real
Yes.
Just roll with it and try to avoid taking her to places with a lot of fragile, easily breakable items around.
How have I not lost it?
I'm freaking Arnav Singh Raizada.
I only lose it in private in moonlight/ dim lighting so I can imagine in my head that I look like an olden day tortured hero.
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: You Know What?
You're perfect for each other.
You're both as idiotic as each other.
You both go back to my house and try not to venture into the Room of Fragile, Easily Breakable things okay?
Kantaben will show you to your rooms.
I'm going out clubbing. Please do not comment on any random skanky girls who may be present at breakfast tomorrow.
Dhruv
P.S. Would you mind asking Kantaben what her actual name is? I feel like it's the kind of thing I should know- but she's been my maid for 6 years now. It's kind of rude of me to ASK. I've just been calling her Kantaben since I saw Kal Ho Na Ho. Before that I just called her "Sexy".
P.P.S. She is about seventy and looks more or less as sexy as NK's troll-like feet.
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From: Aman
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Updates- Day One
Dear Arnav Sir,
There were no problems at work today, Sir. I handled everything as you told me.
I hope you are having success with your special client. I'm sure this deal will be as great a success as everything else in your life.
How could it possibly fail with the great Arnav Singh Raizada at the reins?
Aman
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Aman
Subject: Flattery
You know just what to say to make me feel better Aman.
Thank you. I'll leave everything in your more than capable hands.
As for the special client... it may take slightly longer than I previously anticipated but with your belief, support and encouragement, how could I possibly fail?
I will see you as soon as I possibly can.
Arnav
P.S. You know what they say about flattery- it really does get you everywhere... Looks like SOMEBODY'S getting a raise when I get back!
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From: Aman
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: A Raise
I really don't need one, Sir.
Everything I do, I do to make you happy. It'd almost be an insult to my sincerity to accept money for it.
Aman
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Aman
Subject: You Deserve It
You really are one of the only people I can rely on Aman. You deserve it for all your hard work. And for the extra you've agreed to take on while I am... indisposed.
Thank you once again for... well Aman, just for being you.
Arnav
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Advani, Anika
Subject: Breakfast
I really cannot apologise enough for what happened at breakfast this morning. I did think that maybe my Bhabhi would have a bit of an issue with the dress you were wearing (don't misunderstand baby, I thought you looked damn fine in what little of it there was).
When she said she was going to get something for you and left the table, I honestly thought she meant like... a coat or a robe or something.
I had no idea she would come back, douse you with holy water and start chanting prayers...
I'm really sorry, hun. I understand if you never want to see me again.
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From: Advani, Anika
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: What Happened At Breakfast
I don't blame you at all baby. I blame that crazy woman.
Why would anybody marry someone like that? I mean, did you see the clothes she was wearing?! And what was her husband doing? Why didn't he stop her?
Just calmly sitting there smirking and drinking his tea! She only stopped when I was soaking and only because he needed his stupid bint of a wife to tell him where she'd put the newspaper!
I'm sorry Dhruv but if you ever want to see me again, they have to go.
Anika
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Advani, Anika
Subject: Seeing Me Again
How to put this nicely...
I don't want to see you again.
Jeez. Can't you take a hint?
P.S. For future reference, just in case you ever try to get your scumbag gold digging claws into another member of my family- Family is everything to the Raizada Parivaar. You mess with one of us and you're taking on all of us. So back the hell off.
P.P.S. Seriously though, you looked really good in that dress.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: What The Hell, Khushi?!
Where have you disappeared to again?! I just rang Dhruv and he said you're not in the office so don't pretend that's where you are!
If I find out you've left the city without informing me again...
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Arnavji...
You know in Dhruvji's office yesterday when you hugged me and told me that I was never to leave you like that again? And that you cared more about me than yourself?
Do you also remember how a split second later you remembered that you're ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA and ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA does not have "feelings" or care for anybody more than he cares for himself, so you ordered me to never tell anybody?
I was just wondering- how much is my silence worth?
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: Are You Serious?
Are you honestly trying to blackmail me, Mrs Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada?
When has that ever worked out for you?
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: My Silence
Clearly it doesn't mean very much. Okay then, I'm going to send a gushing e-mail about your kindness and love to Jiji (who will be sure to pass the message on to Jijaji) and Di (who will tell everybody else).
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: FINE!
What do you want?
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: What I Want
I'm lost. Come find me.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: Hide And Seek
I'm not really in the mood for it.
So I'd appreciate it if you gave me something a little more to go on than that...
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Ermm
Well, I'm surrounded by loads of fragile and easily breakable objects, if that helps.
Dhruvji said I'd been punishing you lately and that I'm not being s**tty enough for you Arnavji. But I've been a good wife, right?
I've been taking care of all your physical needs and desires haven't I?
Please don't leave me here.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Devi Maiyya
Subject: (no subject)
WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME?!
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OMG lolz wenever i read this OS...
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