Why can't Kokila talk about SR to Aham?

I tried to make the topic explicit enough so if you find it offensive, you don't have to open the thread. This is my pov and I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone or trying to gain attention. Just an attempt to have an open discussion here.

A couple of days ago, I made a humorous post regarding Kokila asking Aham about his SR/SD (wasn't meant to mock the relationship) which was taken an exception to. It was felt a mother could never ask or remind her son about something like that. The post is here if you are interested in reading it - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=2892088.

I have been thinking about it and was reminded of the movie 'Kabhi Kabhi' from 30+ years ago. There was a scene in the movie where the father (Shashi Kapoor) follows his son (Rishi Kapoor) around to listen into his convo with his girl friend. He asks about his girl friend and I think gives advice to him too. At that time, people thought that scene was funny and said that they wished they had an open relationship with their parents like that. Even a lot of the film critics hailed that scene.

Now, 30 years later, the society has changed. Parents do have a friendly and more open relationship with their children. In the western world, our children are given sex education in the schools at the age of 10. Teenage girls are offered birth control pills in schools and parents
talk to their children about practicing safe sex. In the age of internet, children know about the birds and the bees more than we ever could. I have seen parents teasing their sons and daughters about their first kiss when they go out on their first dates. When my nephew got married, we all (including his mother) teased him about his SR. I understand fathers may talk about sex to their sons and mothers may talk about these topics to their daughters more than vice versa, but we do live in a more open societey these days. These topics are not as much of a taboo any more.

Coming to the serial, Kokila shares a special relationship with Aham. He is closer to her than his father and discusses his problems with her more than anyone else. Whenever there have been some big moments in Aham's life where Kokila needed to advise him, she has never stepped back. When Aham slapped Gopi, Kokila had a talk with him. When Gopi got lost in Switzerland, Kokila voiced her displeasure to Aham. So why not now regarding the SR? I am not saying this should happen in the show. It is just a question why a fictional character like Kokila can not be shown to do that? Why this topic is the limit in this relationship?

Let's say Kokila overhears Gopi's crying in front of Kanhaji or Gopi goes in deep shock over what happened. She questions Gopi who breaks down and tells her what happened on Holi. Kokila knows Aham did forget what happened that day. Can't she question Aham about it? I am not a writer but I am sure the CV's can find a tasteful way to show that conversation between the mother and the son that can be swallowed by the viewers. All she has to say to Aham that he gave her vahu the happiness that every wife needs and has a right over, and how he forgot those beautiful moments of their life. Is that so vulgar to show in the world of fiction? I am sure if that happened and Kokila was responsible for bringing her son and vahu together again, all Koki lovers will clap.

Again, I apologize for my rant and if you found this post indecent. Please bash me here in this thread if you feel this is wrong and I am making a mockery of relationships.

I think it's a cultural thing Aris. My sisters and I are very close with mom, but still we don't talk about this taboo subject. It's forbidden implicitly.😵

Originally posted by: RachP

I think it's a cultural thing Aris. My sisters and I are very close with mom, but still we don't talk about this taboo subject. It's forbidden implicitly.😵

I would perhaps take it as an exception if Koki had this talk with Kinjal--as a girl to girl thing. It's very different for a mom and a son, no matter how close they are. 😳

That being said, one way Koki can approach Ahem is by doing what all moms do--ask him and Gopi for a grandson/granddaughter. It's cliched. It's typical. Yet it is the way to go about it "culturally".

In the case you're talking about when Koki overhears Gopi, I think the way to go then, would be if Koki helped Gopi instead of asking Ahem about it. We've seen her do it before. She can do it again.😳

aris ...another interesting post...like rach says i think its a cultural thing...its the way we have been brought up respecting certain relationships...koki and ahem do share a unique relationship...but i dont think koki will be comfortable talking to ahem so openly nor will he be comfortable about it...she could go the round about way though...correct me if i am wrong...but my understanding is that in sns koki thinks gohem have a physical relationship...remember in the first year gopi opened the door to koki and ahem later asked her if she wanted his mom to know that his son and DIL dont share a bed...and also the modi family is a very orthodox family and i dont see them having this convo...

Originally posted by: aris22l

I understand what you are saying, but in the serial world they always show weird things for shock value. This is actually coming from a track from another serial I recently watched where the mother questions her son and dil in front of the father, and younger brothers and sisters about why they haven't consummated their marriage yet. I was shocked and thought it was in poor taste, but in the end the scene took a beautiful turn when the son explains how he shares a spiritual bond with his wife where physical relations don't matter. I understood the initial scene was created for shock value and it was a means to an end. I think it could have done differently but it served its purpose. And that show is even more conservative than SNS.

I don't have a problem with what you are saying ... I grew up in US ... and the stuff on TV is nothing like the Indians serial. My friends that I work with are from India and they did not let their boys watch the holi epi... she said it was not good for them , the boys are 6 & 9 ... so I guess it is up the indivduals...

Originally posted by: varshu27

aris ...another interesting post...like rach says i think its a cultural thing...its the way we have been brought up respecting certain relationships...koki and ahem do share a unique relationship...but i dont think koki will be comfortable talking to ahem so openly nor will he be comfortable about it...she could go the round about way though...correct me if i am wrong...but my understanding is that in sns koki thinks gohem have a physical relationship...remember in the first year gopi opened the door to koki and ahem later asked her if she wanted his mom to know that his son and DIL dont share a bed...and also the modi family is a very orthodox family and i dont see them having this convo...

Varshu, thanks for your answer. I am also confused about what the family thinks about Gopi and Aham's relationship. I think they know they don't share a physical relationship. During the Valentine's day episode, Parag said to Kokila that they should be happy to see their son and bahu coming closer. That made me think that they know about their lack of physical intimacy.

Your point is good and I agree that Modis are orthodox and Kokila and Aham will feel uncomfortable talking about these things.

Originally posted by: RachP

DABH? 😳😆

If you're wanting a shock treatment, then they could have Gopi question Ahem herself about the future of their relation. The boy looks like he's in love, but isn't really acting upon it. He's just riding the waves. Well now, he's kind of become active, but that's because she's become passive. 😕

When Gopi was stone cold yesterday, I thought that the show might take a turn towards a Gopi who wants answers, who will rise above her shattered world, and who will find renewed strength from her Kanhaji. It might have happened, but we have yet to see that part.

Why doesn't she ask him what in his heart? He asks her about her feelings. In fact, he's been interested in it too much. I remember on her birthday, he took her out and then, asked her to spill out everything. I thought, then, he might leave to give her privacy. But no, the boy stayed there listening. There's an imbalance here and it's making Gopi give too much, without taking anything. I don't like it a bit! 😭

I wish Gopi was positively cunning at times. I think we all at at some point. Just today, this guy was tailgating me on the freeway. 😲I purposefully slowed down so that he would get even more irritated and I felt good about it. 😈 😈😈🤣

You devil, you Rachna. I will need to watch out for you when I am driving😆.
I live for Aham's repentance. When is it going to start? I want him to start having flashbacks from the first year now. I wonder if the CV's are just going to sweep all that under the rug and not show us anything.

Originally posted by: ANJ4

I don't have a problem with what you are saying ... I grew up in US ... and the stuff on TV is nothing like the Indians serial. My friends that I work with are from India and they did not let their boys watch the holi epi... she said it was not good for them , the boys are 6 & 9 ... so I guess it is up the indivduals...

Thanks for your reply, Anj. I am very free and friendly with my children. Well, they are little more grown up now and we feel comfortable talking about some things that more conservative families won't. You are right, it is more of an individual thing. I don't think it will happen in SNS, but serials do show strange things and expect the viewers do swallow them with glee.