IPKKND:The'TeriMeri'Series OS1 P74/OS2 P78/OS3 P83

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Deeksha

@-Dee-

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#51

Lit... referring to the stars I'd guess. And I think he is comparing his lover to the stars - mystical, she is as they are to him. Sometimes, she is simply his innocent girl but then, she is just a lady who betrayed him and his love like the stars who appear so near - shining and bright but are out of reach. Then, she became a lily - pale like a flickering ball of gas..

And Amal, that was a beautiful analogy of a lover.

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abandoned

@abandoned

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#52

Thanks a lot Geet dii and Dee. Din't really expect comments on this one. I might post a drabble tonight if I can make it. I need to shower badly and then if my sense stay you will probably get it. But again, need not wait for it. Thank Ya for actually bothering to comment on that drabble.😳

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Radhika

@chainreaction.

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#53

res

*edited*

This was amazing bacchii <3 i was truly speechless for a few minutes! This drabble is so different to your other works and it has a certain maturity to it. You have really developed as a writer! The description of the stars was just perfect..i like how you started off with what starts mean to other people! Stars are always there and they mean something different to everyone, everyone has a different perspective on why they are there! Stars are beautiful and i believe they are one of nature's most perfect creations :) To me they are always there for guidance and whenever i feel upset or a little low, just looking at the stars always cheers me up and gives me hope that even though there is darkness..something will always come to make it all better..like the stars are always there even when there is darkness everywhere else. Okay now i'll stop talking about myself 🤣 I liked the answer of the person..that stars are mystical to him. I had never really thought of it like that. But now when i think about it, i completely agree..they are always there yet they sometimes feel surreal! And i'm not sure what you were trying to convey in this FF but i thought that while looking at the stars the person was remembering a girl close to his heart...he was seeing her in different forms..he was seeing all the different aspects of her personality. Like maybe when he first met her he thought that she was simple, and innocent, but then when he got to know her better he realised she was strong and brave. That behind her sweet exterior was someone who fought for what she believed in :) i'm not sure what you meant by she cruelly altered to the lily he held in london, but i was thinking maybe she rejected him and he was left holding the lily in his hand. I thought this because you said cruelly..so maybe he was thinking of the painful memories! So for him, the stars reminded him of his love..of all the memories they had together! and maybe when he looks at the dark sky he gets upset..that he isn't with her anymore, but when he sees the stars, he thinks he's gonna be okay. Because even if he isn't with her, the stars will always be there and they will remind him of all the memories of them being together :) So the stars might be a reminder of his old life to him. When he thinks that his life has completely changed and can never be the same again, the stars will be there and they will show him that even if he moves on, one thing will always remain constant...her memories will always be in his heart! Even though he is separated from his love..he will still always be with her. Just like even though the stars are so far away..he is still somehow connected to them, just like how he is still connected to his love :) I might have got the wrong end of the stick here but this is what the drabble meant to me :) This drabble was amazing! it made me think a lot. i must've read it through atleast 5 times before even attempting to start commenting! your writing has really matured and i loved this drabble <3 you should really write more!

Edited by kajen_hamesha - 13 years ago

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Bhavya

@Bhavya8

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#54

Wow, that was really deep! 😲
I love how you explored the meaning of something that most people don't think about often. It sounded really poetic. 😊 And then the images of the girl, were described so beautifully. It really was a very mature piece of writing. Great work. The emotions were very vivid and the drabble as a whole was just wonderful to read. ❤️

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abandoned

@abandoned

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#55

Author's Note : Again, back with a hopefully untouched concept. This is less cryptic than the previous one but I think its a little more intense. Enjoy!

#4 : t o y o u

Based On Armaan & Ridhima (Dill Mill Gaye)

My eyelids flung open to the visible invisibleness around me. Unbearably streaking, my forehead shot to pain as my palms reflexively moved to rub it. There was a certain eeriness to the world around me that was unusually cool and my grey cells took minutes to regain my last actions and its meaning. I was supposed to sleep, I reminded myself. I pushed the thoughts off my head and turned to rest my body on my sides. That's when the shredded heat of his body hit mine and my lips curled invariably into a smile. I pushed my aged body closer to his as I took in the lingering remnants of his cologne. I tucked my hand beneath his short and probably it was my incredibly low tempered hand but he returned to the earth from his dreams and stared at my wrinkled face with that is-this-the-time-to-check-me - out look. Time had elapsed, before he made out my pleasant face from my dim light that danced through the translucent curtains. And when he did, he grinned hard. "Seriously, Ridh. Is this the time?" he played with me. His flirty voice may not be the same now but its effects were and that's all I cared. I smacked him on his chest but made no other movement that suggested me being mad. Because I wasn't. Instead, I moved closer to him and let his warmth reach my torso. Although bewildered, Armaan wrapped my little self with his arms and placed his head on mine. "This is feeling good, right," I said, dreamily, a little hazy on my inside. "What's up with you?" he asked, drawing concern now. "I love you," I said easily. He gripped me harder and he whispered huskily, "I know. And it's not easy to forget that." Embarrassed, I buried my face deeper and I heard his chuckle. In silence, I doodled his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. It calmed me. Or let's say it intoxicated me. My breath steadied and my pain relieved me. I shut my eyes and bound by the proximity of our bodies, I found myself content. Moments later, stuck in that position, we slept.

Slept Forever.

Edited by SmokingDreams - 13 years ago

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Radhika

@chainreaction.

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#56

res

*edited*

This was so beautiful and sad at the same time! It nearly brought tears into my eyes :( but at the same time i was smiling 😃 This is such a unique concept..AR both being old..i have never read about this before 😆 When i first read it i thought riddhima was in hospital or something because she had pain 😲 But i was so wrong! When you wrote i pushed my aged body closer to his i was so shocked 😲🤣 AR are OLD 😲 But it was so sweet..it seems like their love story was eternal! they stayed together for so many years and they are still so happy with each other :) i actually couldn't imagine AR being old 🤣 like when you said he looked at my wrinkled face 🤣 What i liked about this drabble is that it was quite real. People do age, they have to grow older and they don't always look perfect! in other FFs or oneshots AR are mostly shown as being beautiful and perfect! but i'm happy that you've shown them as being old here because it proves that they love everything about each other..not just how they look! And it showed me that they really love each other...because they stayed together for so long! this was just amazing...it was real, but still it seemed like a dream. Because it would be amazing to find someone who could spend the rest of your life with..someone you could stay with for so long and still love them <3 i can't believe she was checking him out 🤣 I love how he calls her ridh..that is adorable :) and its so cute how riddhima feels so content and so satisfied in his arms, and its so sweet how he's so concerned about! they are a remarkable pair <3 i love how armaan says its not hard to forget that instead of saying i love you too 🤣 it shows that he's still so cheeky even when he's so old 🤣 and the ending made me tear up :( i felt sad but happy at the same time! sad that they died..but at the same time i was happy, because they loved each other all their lives and even in death and beyond, they will always be together! i couldn't be very sad because they were peaceful when they died and they were TOGETHER! and thats what matters the most <3 it reminded me of the notebook..i had the same feelings when this happened! So that shows that you are an amazing writer because i just compared your writing to nicholas sparks' writing 🤣 and i like how you didn't mention the word death or they died. you said they slept forever :) it just gave it all a fairytale like touch..they were together forever :)

Edited by kajen_hamesha - 13 years ago

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abandoned

@abandoned

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#57

Its okay my Radhu dii. I really don't mind late comments. You needn't pressurize yourself.🤗

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Bhavya

@Bhavya8

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#58

Ooo! I don't think I've read anything where AR are old. But this was actually very beautifully written. The characters are so graceful and their bond is just adorable. I really liked this drabble it was super cute!!
Awesome work again Amal! ❤️

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-DavneetKaur-

@-DavneetKaur-

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#59

ok hey amal...well am commenting after long time i guess...i am sorry for that...forgive me...but that doesnt mean i dont follow your ff...dude i love your writing and i do follow it..but m too lazy to go comment...but now ill make sure ill comment...ok first of all...congratulations for coming up with a decision on how you are gonna deal with the whole original and revised YAS thing..i wanted to comment when you asked us what should you do...but i wanted you to take your own decision..but i would have loved if you continued both original and revised version because both had something good to read and offer..but fair enough you decided to continue original version because thats what you wanted...and also you must be having timing problems...so yeah cool..but am gonna miss revised YAS for sure but yeah i do admit i loved original version more because it was mysterious as well as fairytailish...😳...and yeah just saw you wrote drabbles...will go on and read now...very excitd because am sure you must have done great work on it😃

Edited by -DavneetKaur- - 13 years ago