Chapter 2-pg 2
Chapter 3-pg 3
Chapter 4-pg 5
Chapter 8- pg 14
2. Dumas
3. Anita_21492
4. princessunara
5. srahs
6. Meenaluma
7. SmileyStar
9. LX2FX2
10. moon_mine
11. immayurfan
12. pri12
14. Zafi
15. ambishika
Chapter 1.
"Yes'I understand completely'and No'I don't have any complaints." She whispered in a teary toned. "You don't worry I will take care of it all. I must go now. Good-bye." She fell to the ground almost in daze. Her heart pounded, and pulse raced, as she gulped down what would have been a loud cry and starred at the empty white walls still trying to understand all that just happened.
"Kushi!" a woman cried out. She looked up numb and confused. The woman fell to the ground infront of her and held the delicate girl by her shoulders and sweeped her in her arms. "Mom" she spoke in a soft-tone separating herself from the tight embrace. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong??!!" Aarti yelled with disbelief in her voice.
"I heard everything. (Kushi looked up shocked and somewhat embarrassed, almost immediately looking back at the ground) How could you say what's wrong? (Her Mom stood up and paced the room, anxious and completely broken.) How could she ask this of you? I mean, HOW?? Who is she to decide for you?" Kushi stood up and with a lot of courage walked to her panick stuck Mom and gently placed her hand on her Moms shoulder, turning her lightly towards herself.
She took a deep breath as she looked into her Moms teary red eyes. Her own eyes started to moisten up and she took another deep breath trying to hold herself back. "What she asked isn't'''wrong." Kushi said in hesitance.
"Isn't wrong???" Her mom roared as she shrug Kushis hand away. "You're saying she isn't wrong in asking you to leave her son because you have been pretty sick lately??? Because she wanted a perfect-bride, all beautiful, pink cheek, bright eye girl for her only son? Just because your color has been pale, and your eyes tired and red, you don't suit her son anymore?? What rubbish is this!!" Her voice broke off and she sat down on the bed, breathless and crying.
Kushi ran to her mother and said "I know it sounds'cruel'But Mom'she is a mother just like you'and every mother has the right to want everything perfect for their child." Her mom shook her head, still in disbelief. "We have been talking about this lately as well na' We don't know what's wrong with me..Sometimes its headaches, sometimes backpain, sometimes stomach pain'hairloss..weightloss..anxiety..depression'and God knows whats next'" Her voice broke off. She clutched her bedsheets tightly not being able to hold back anymore. She shut her eyes tightly trying to stop the tears from flowing down..But to vain, they streamed down her face too quickly for her to even wipe them off. She started to take deep breaths, eyes still closed. She felt her mothers warm hand touch her cheeks and she opened her eyes.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Do you hear me? Nothing! We have gotten every possible test done and everything with the blessings of God has been perfect. Every doctor we have took you to says its only anxiety, stress, and depression. Who doesn't have these in times like today? Which girl doesn't go through these in her life?"
"And which girl continues to have one health issue after the other?" She interrupted her Mom, throwing several more questions. "Which girl falls sick to the lightest wind breeze, and gets anxiety attacks at the tiniest matters? Instead of trying to think her reasonings may be illogical, we should focus on maybe there is something really wrong with me and I'm not alright."
"Kushi, this is your problem! What has gotten into you. If you think like this of yourself, why wouldn't others? You think too much..about everything'! I have told you innumerable times that stop stressing so much over everything..sometimes it's studies, sometimes house issues'You have something ready to be thinking about always'"
She gave a weak smile and rested against the wall.. "You just realized Mom..(Tears falling down) These thoughts are all I have'Maybe had you been a friend and less of a mother in the past twenty-one years you would have realized..(She looked at her Mom with blaming eyes) Had you tried to talk to me, understand me, made it comfortable for me to share with you or maybe even let me make friends I would have kept it less inside of me and maybe would have learnt to deal with issues and stress better. (Her Mom looked down as if accepting her fault. Kushi walked over and sat beside her) But you know, for the past nineteen years it's just been me'until'(closing her eyes) Abeer came' (A soft smile appeared on her lips as she said his name) He made it so easy to talk to'but (the smile now faded as she opened her eyes and starred straight at the wall, expressionless) nothing lasts forever.." she concluded painfully.
Kushi recently got engaged to Abeer, after knowing him for two years. They met at a college organization and quickly clicked. Kushi was always soft-spoken and very reserved and Abeer seemed to break through the invisible wall she had created around her almost instantly. She was able to converse with him seeing his different personality from the other guys and because both shared the soft-spoken nature. They continued talking and Abeer was amused by the way Kushi had been raised, in such a conservative household with lots of restrictions and old-tradition thinking. Beloning to a conservative family also but more understanding parents, Abeer had a lot of sympathy for her. Soon enough, he fell in love with her and purposed. He was confident he could be the life partner she needed, someone who understood her and loved her unconditionally, providing her the attention and support she was deprived of.
Kushi's mother, Aarti, an old-tradition housewife lived in a joint family until recently, with Kushi's Uncle, Aunts their kids, and Kushi's Grandma. Recently she and her husband moved into a separate house with their four kids. Aarti being the eldest daughter in law was always engrossed in taking care of her in-laws and serving their needs, thus neglecting her kids. She failed to provide them the emotional support kids at an growing age require and was merely a mother, who put strict limitations on her kids inorder for them score high points infront of the other kids. After serving her in-laws for almost all her young age and spending her energy in pleasing them, she came to realize that nothing she did or would ever do be appreciated because of the growing fights in the house. Her husband, Mr. Gupta a workaholic, was always busy running his own small convenient store inorder to continue to provide well for his family. Due to Aarti always being busy in cooking and cleaning, she was never able to build a bridge between her kids and their father, hence communication has always been very limited between the kids and him. Nonetheless, Aarti and Mr. Gupta love their kids very much, but their love has always been silent.
Kushi knew that it would create chaos in the family once everyone came to knew she liked Abeer and it was a love-marriage, but keeping their love as her strength she was ready to fight it through. Initially, her parents opposed the idea and asked her to cease all contact with Abeer. She remained adamant, although. She just wanted him to be given a fair chance like any other guy would have gotten if the purposal was sent in a different manner. Her intention was not to rebel, or insult her parents, her upbringing was not that way. And even though, she shared no heart-to-heart relationship with either her mother or father, she loved them a lot and would never leave them. She and Abeer had long decided when he purposed that they would put no pressure on either sides and wait patiently for their parents full hearted acceptance. God answered their prayers and not only did she get her and Abeers relationship approved by both sides, but also got to develop a friendship with her mother.
However, in the past few months she came under a lot of stress due to various reasons. One was due to her studies, she was completing her Bachelors in Arts. She was the first in her family to complete higher studies, but that's not where she wanted to stop. She had plans of going for her master. Abeer belonged to a very educated, and high social class family, and Kushi was expected to make her place and fit in. Her father sold his business due to declining sales. He was home jobless. She tutored at home because working a normal job was out of question and even the topic would rile her Dad up. She struggled to prepare for the engagement and used every penny she had saved up in buying gifts and other items for the engagement. Then, her brother had been going through a very rough phase as he had fallen into the wrong group and had made some very disappointing choices. She knew that her parents could not help him and somewhere she took the responsibility of bringing him on the right path. Unfortunately, her health fell a victim to all the chaotic things and started weakening. Her deteriorating health started to show up on her. She lost a lot of weight and started loosing lots of hair. She became very appearance-cautious because her health worried her mother in law a lot, especially since it started to show she was not well.
Her mother-in-law, Sushma was very concerned that her son should get the best and although she was very open to the idea that Abeer wanted to marry a girl of his own choice, she was extremely worried that her son is too nave and may fall into a trap. She welcomed Kushi happily until she started seeing that Kushi was falling ill too much and it started to concern her that Kushi may not even be fit to give her son attention and care, something every husband requires. Sushma had brought up Abeer with lots of love and dreams. He was all she had after her husbands death and daugthers marriage. She didn't want to take any chances. After a lot of pondering within and failed arguments with Abeer, she called Kushi privately and asked her to back out given she isn't fit at the moment and if she really loves and cares for Abeer she would not tell him the real reason behind. She was very apologetic that she resorted to such a step but she felt what she did required logical thinking from the brain and not emotional explanations of the heart. She knew this would break Abeers heart as he truly felt for Kushi and even argued that all Kushi needed was the right support and peace of mind to get her out of this down phase, but Sushma was unable to accept that and felt something was being secreted. She justified all her intentions by her motherly love and deep down hoped that Kushi would forgive her someday for her request.
Aarti walked in her room depressed and sat next to a silent Mr. Gupta. He knew all that happened and was saddened he couldn't do anything to help. Aarti weeped on his shoulders remembering Kushis smiling face on the engagement. "All her dreams shattered..I couldn't do anything.." she sobbed.
"We should talk to Abeer upfront." He retorted. "This is no way to handle situations. She has no right to discuss such delicate matters with our daughter! Were we dead that she called her up?" He questioned angrily. "I will not let my daughter play sacrificing queen!" He concluded. He stood up to grab his phone. Aarti quickly held his arm and said "Kushi is adamant that Abeer should not get involved. (He turned around facing her) She thinks that we would do the same if we were in Sushma's condition. She told me she wants to go see a psychologist tomorrow."
"What? Is she out of her mind? What can a psychologist do? These doctors just refer patients to other doctors to make money. That's all." He said in a huff.
"I know'.and I don't even expect some miracle healing from the psychologist'But I feel if she can talk to someone and let it out because she clearly won't tell us..and You know why..She has always taken care of herself on her own, and I know I am at fault for that'and even if I want, I can't change it. I feel that Kushi may be able to relax and vent out if she talks to someone she doesn't know and can trust'My heart tells me that its all built up stress and depression and that if in the right company and atmosphere, she will grow out of it.. We already have the referral, it's a worth a try'I am willing to try anything to make my daughter smile again.." She covered her face with her hands and cried outloud. Mr. Gupta sat beside her and uncovered her face. He nodded, silently agreeing with her.
"And as for Abeer'I don't know what to do..and maybe I don't want to do anything..I feel Kushis health is our number one priority and everything comes after it. Everyone always prioritizes their kids wellness, I didn't for all my life, but that doesn't mean I won't do now' " She finished.
Kushi stood in her room starring outside at the pitch black sky. She twisted the ring in her left finger and looked down. Tear drops fell on her hand. She flashed back to her moments with Abeer. She spoke to herself, looking back at the dark night "My life has always been this way. My dreams always left incomplete then why did I trust fate again? I led myself to this misery. Every person in this world has some pain given to them by fate, I don't know why I was chosen to be given the pain of lonliness. I have everyone, everything around me and from afar my world is perfect and happy but only I and my lonliness know how alone I am. When you came into my world Abeer I thought I would never be alone again, but alas I have been once again defeated by fate." She sat down against the wall still looking up, tears flowing fast down now. "I don't know if what I am doing is right or wrong, I never have. But I know my intentions are right, and if God is looking over me and he really does reward good, the only way I want to be rewarded for this is that he doesn't give you any pain from this breakup and helps you move forward fast." She closed her eyes crying and rested her head on her knees, silently wondering in her broken heart, what destiny awaits more.
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The story will develop as we move :) Don't worry, Arnav is a part of it 😆
Please do not copy and share it elsewhere. I have had to go through that in the past and I just don't like the mess it creates. I respect everyone's work, effort and time they put in trying to write something and expect others to do for mines as well.
Please post any suggestions and comments, and let me know if it's too long...
Regards,
Teesha
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