Chapter 15
Sleep did not come easy that night. I cried myself to sleep. Gleaming rays of the sun disturbed my peace, bringing me back to the present world. Without opening my eyes, I tried to recollect and rearrange my memories. But I felt so blank, distorted and empty inside my head right now, it was acted as a relief. The moment, I got peace, the bad memories came flooding back and brought me back to right I was- shattered.
Maybe it was a dream, maybe nothing of that sort had happened, maybe it was all just a bad dream, I told myself. Maybe, Armaan is still waiting for me outside, I told my heart. Maybe.
"We have to let go, Armaan." I remembered telling him, although I myself didn't have enough strength to do it. I couldn't let go. I loved him way more than that. But I had to, I realized. Truth was so hard to accept, that it made my head throb in pain. Ugh!
A knocking on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes to find myself in my room, my body resting on a chair, with my mother's picture in my hand. My heart sank. It was a dream. Armaan wouldn't leave me, would he? He wouldn't! He loves me. He loves me, dammit!
The knocking, harder and more persistent, made me stand on my feet.
"Armaan!" My heart was still hopeful, still happy. He couldn't leave me, not again! Maybe it is Armaan at the door, waiting for me.
I walked to the door and opened it, still hopeful. It was the waiter.
"Good Morning, Ma'am." He greeted me politely. I nodded, trying my best to smile.
"Mr. Armaan Malik", I held my breathe, looking at him with hope filled eyes, "told me to give you this." Saying so, he handed me a white bag.
NO!
"Well, thank you." I studied the bag, fears making its way through my heart. NO! It was not what I was thinking. He couldn't!
The waiter nodded back, smiling, and began walked away, when I called him back.
"Um, Armaan?" He turned to look at me, curious.
"Where is he, right now?" I was in a turmoil, with my head and heart going in two different directions. He's still right here, I can feel him, my heart told me. He's gone. You have done this. You told him to get out of your life and he did. Face it, Riddhima, nothing is going to be the same again. FACE IT! My mind yelled at me.
NO!
"Armaan Malik checked out of the hotel last night, Ma'am."
And that was it. The barrier I had been withholding for so long broke. He's gone. Gone, again.
"Um, Ma'am? Are out ok?" The waiter asked me, concerned, and I realized that I had been crying. Wiping away my tears, and put up a straight face and nodded at him.
"Thank you." Without waiting for a reply, I shut the door.
Tears rolled down my cheeks, I ignored them, as I shuffled the bag, hoping it is not what I think it is. And then my fingers found something, and I pulled it out, and my heart sank. It was a diary with yellow cover with Riddhima written on it. It was my diary. With it was a small white paper folded. I opened it slowly and read it.
Without you I would have never made it. Goodbye.
My body sank down on the ground, against the door. Not able to lift it anymore, I rested my head on the door. My sight grew blur, and the noises in the background was faint. I was less aware of anything around you, as my heart kept going back to him. Our memories flashed before my eyes.. and got stuck to a particular one.
"Oh, my god! You can't just give up on annoying me, can you?" I held my head, annoyed with Armaan's actions, who grinned like an idiot.
"Nope. That is my favourite hobby." Shameless.
"Oh, shut up! I just want you to go!" I yelled at him, plain frustrated beyond belief.
"Just shoo!" I made a gesture with my hand, hoping he would vanish immediately. I sighed, when I realized that it was not going to happen.
"Only on one condition. Do you promise me that you will miss me when I am gone?" He asked me question totally out of the blue, as expected. Mr. Malik is full of surprises.
"Uh, no!" I rolled my eyes, "obviously." He just made me so crazy. It was unbelievable how mad he could make me!
"Oh, you will miss me when I am gone, for sure. I promise." He told me.
"Yeah, whatever. I am just gonna go." I hoped up from my seat, looking at the drink in my hand, "and puke somewhere." He almost suppressed a smile.
"Okay. Have fun!"
"Oh, you will miss me when I am gone, for sure. I promise." His voice echoed in my head, making it hurt even more. I cried and cried, still hopeful that Armaan would appear out of nowhere and hug me. But I knew was going to happen.. ever.
[Armaan]
I hid behind the wall, my gazed fixed on the door the waiter kept knocking repeatedly. I waited for her to open the door, and then she did, I held my breath.
"Good Morning, Ma'am." The waiter politely greeted her. Her face was absolutely pale and drenched in tear. A sudden urge of just going there and kiss her pain away surged in me, I pushed it away.
She nodded, her expression awful.
"Mr. Armaan Malik", the waiter started saying, and she looked up at him, with nothing but hope, love, and hope in her eyes, "told me to give you this." And did as I had instructed him to do.
She weakly took the packet, and muttered a 'thank you' in the waiters direction.
After a moment, I heard her soft voice again.
"Um, Armaan?"
For a moment there I thought that I was caught. But then I realized that she was calling the waiter.
"Where is he, right now?" She asked him, her expressions painful.
The waiter, again, followed my instructions well. He told her what I had told him to do, and saw her expressions fall.
The first drop of tear rolled down her cheeks, acted as a wound on my heart. It pain a lot.
And then she started crying, lost in her own thoughts. That seemed to bother the waiter, which scared me a bit. For a moment I was afraid (and relieved) that he would tell her that it was all a lie; that I was still waiting for her. He didn't.
"Thank you." I heard her voice again. By turned around to find the door shut and the waiter long gone.
Rage surged in me. Involuntarily, I used my injured hand to punch the wall. It hurt, bleeding profusely, but the pain was less compared to the pain in my heart.
Song suggestion:
Please note: I did not make the video mix. I just happened to see it.. and I really love the video. The video maker has done a fabulous job!
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