Originally posted by: a little faith
Mahak, Sorry for the delay in reading and replying, I truly look forward to updates of this SS. I am really glad to know that Sabah, and it's ok. Even i am late in updating.
Chapter seven
The atmosphere had changed. Exactly, you masterfully show why you can call yourself a writer. You use the first line and i am blushing already. The ambiance before was strange, being that it involved two strangers but in one jhalak you add an eerie quality that just like the temperature of shock takes him from fervid passions to chilling! Skillfully done. Thank you sooo much for the compliment, Sabah.
I loved, JUST LOVED, that little doubt upon her side. Yeah, Thank you. I never knew that my small detailing would be likes by you. That first sign of hesitation, for now she had something to lose, that mark that now they truly were not strangers. Yeah, she now trusts him and he holds an important part in her life. She is afraid to loose him now.
seemingly she had not heard what I had said. Or chose to ignore it. Wonderful detailing. Thank you. Very subtle but nicely added, layering the scene and characterizations and thereby the story as a whole. Wow..you are making my blush again.
humne zindagi se haar nahi maani. Par phir...woh aaye hamari zindagi mein." It is this detailing of her narrative that is imbued with sincerity so that these lines never seem overly dramatic but humble and simply stated. :) Beautifully done. Thank you again. You always keep her upon this side of the line where she can stand with dignity and not over the other side where we might be compelled to give her an obliged sort of sympathy. She doesn't wants sympathy. She is strong and i am glad that i succeeded in showing that. Finely done. Thanks ke alawa, what can i say?
Then again illuminating your brilliance in this art you add another twist, another layer. Just like life, we cannot foretell, foresee. We are struggle against this blindness, like she does, frustrated, helpless when due do this weakness we are befallen BUT as you elucidate, we just need to keep faith, remain steadfast and strong for the unforeseeable aspect of life is a gift, like an unopened gift, we don't really know what it will bring but we should not lose our excitement upon the birth of each new day, each new gift no matter how many cut us, hurt us. In this steadfastness we gain strength, as she did. I entirely agree with whatever you said. Amazingly written. And i loved how you penned it down. Beautifully portrayed. Beautifully done. Thank you.
Here the light of a saviour, and yet the added pain for the viewer, for what became of him in character, to fall from such grace, or is the pain from his loss. Yeah. Then question of what is to become of this new friendship. Iska jawaab hi jald hi milega. Excellent suspense, skillfully done. Thank you sooo much.
Chapter 8.
I really liked the intricacy of the flashback. I am glad that you did :) The story itself is simple but it is through those nuances of human feeling, emotions that you so very skillfully illuminate what I find myself becoming lost in. Wow. Thanks. You are really flattering me. Few could write so well about feelings that very few have known and yet you are able to make us understand to some degree that awkward, strange almost surreal moment Describing emotions, even those which i never felt before, is the only strong point in my writing. Being an emotional person, describing it comes somewhat, naturally, to me. But, thank you for honoring me with so many praises., I tried to smile. Yes, it was indeed wrong.Some might say that it seems ludicrous that a man who would save her chastity would then steal something from it, that a girl like her would kiss back at such a moment. Yeah, i can agree to that completely. This was what crossed my mind when i wrote it down. However as you paint it, giving that moment depth, we are able to easily understand that hazy strangeness that suffuses such moments, those moments when we are not ourselves, but besides ourselves. Exactly what i wanted to portray! She was very weak at the moment and wanted some support. She drew that from the kiss, but at soon as her conscious came back, she broke it. That a jolt into reality makes you shudder back into your senses, as though your soul had left your body and had been gazing down as your actions. True. I wonder how you can be so skilfully perfect. Close and yet far removed too. It is indeed strange and you write it wonderfully well. Thank you. And it is indeed strange how you understand so well.
some stolen moments of life from here and there'few kisses'.few hugs. Beautifully written. Very much in her style, her adab. Thanks a lot.
Chapter 9
Again I loved how you bring in elements of noble themes that some may scoff at but only because they do not understand. I understand, and therefore, i bring them up. Here the issue of a person like Pankhudi would give herself up to him. "Do you trust me?" These days these words feel shallow and not strong enough to pull into into a surrender to a man BUT unlike us, to Pankhudi who truly understood, comprehended the most vast and majestic trait of Trust, she would have given her life let alone her body. WOW! Finally someone, Besides Laiba, understood! He asked for her trust...so who was she to hold herself back? And she did resist! But then, she trusted him with her life...how cud she let him think that she didn't trust him? Thank God that atleast you understood. I wud have failed if u, out of all, hadn't. I am truly glad you illuminated this issue. Even i am glad that i did. We live in times of nonchalance where such words are used like placebos when in fact they are a balm for our wearied souls. What a great use of words.
I can only give you love, not commitment." Then you come full circle for one may question her insightful nature in this respect. Yup. That was the whole purpose. Did she only see what she wanted? She wanted the feeling of being wanted...so she never saw what she was getting herself into. Was she only grasping a hold of something she truly knew would never happen? yeah, she was. I disagree, for a girl like her who understood the worth of trust, she was conned by not her naivety but his, for in truth both got what they desired from the relationship. U r right. they both got something they both wanted. On her side it was love and trust, and ALWAYS remains so whereas on his side it was deceit and will always remain so. True. Her trust and love were true and therefore remain as love and trust. Surely. His never amounted to any good and so neither will his heart understand these traits that are the only things worth attaining in this life. So true. But in today's world, people have forgotten this.
The proof of this is that years later she still places a high value on trust, by letting another stranger into her house, into her life. I am amazed at how you connected the dots...and to her personality. She is not the one to punish everyone for the crime of one. She understands that love is worth seeking and so once again opens her heart to the idea of it. Yeah, she does. Her love and trust were true and so when he deceived her, he only deceived himself, and in that way love and trust remained in her heart and did so until this day too. Rightly said. Pata hai kya? Kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta hai ki tum meri Pankhudi ko mujhse zyada ache se jaanti ho. After reading ur review, even i fall in love with my story. I start understanding my own story in a way, i never did before.
Mahak, wonderfully done. Thanks a lot yaar. I really enjoyed this narrative. I am glad that you do. With much love, Sabah
Harry Potter
Anupamaa
