legal norms vs. love and bonding

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

On many threads I see this theme cropping up - that what does the legality matter in the face of the deep emotional bonding that J and G share.

Personally, I am on team legal -- and not on team emotional bonding and love.

I believe that legal involves consideration of justice and morality - right and wrong.

Now, leaving my own personal stand aside -- I take an unbiased stand here

let us just for a minute assume that there is no consideration of right and wrong, that right and wrong are subjective - and what one person feels is right, another may feel is wrong... and consequently what is right to J and G may be wrong for the entire society or law -- but the law needs to take its nose out of people's lives.

Fair enough. In the U.S. this is what the highly contentious debate is in terms of gay marriage -same sex marriage. The law and society holds these unions illegal -- but the two individuals who want to be in the union say to the government -- that you cannot poke your nose in my life and mandate that I have a different sex partner - it is my fundamental human right to choose my own spouse - and I want someone I am compatible with - if it is a same sex partner. They question the law "who is the law to say that I cannot marry someone - and to mandate whom I should live with and sleep with - a person only of the opposite sex".

The argument is valid.

The law however holds same sex marriages as illegal and immoral. So two gay men can live together or two women can live together but they cannot solidify the relationship through legal marriage.

So then let us take legal completely out of the picture. As well as morality.

Let us move it only to human emotional grounds.

I believe that the purpose of life is joy -- and joy means feeling good.

So, if J and G feel good together they should be allowed to have their live-in-relationship without giving a damn to society or law.

But I really question whether feel good is only about the other's companionship.

I will feel good only when I have kindness towards another person, am sensitive to another person, am compassionate to another person. I dont feel good when I am unkind, harsh or totally insensitive.

I dont know if J and G will find joy at all in their relationship even in spite of their deep 'love and bonding' (said sarcastically - it remains to be seen how thick their love is)

So I dont think that this love and bonding argument will guarantee their happiness at all.

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Blukitten

@Blukitten

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I believe tht marriage laws was created to control the legal aspects of a relationship.

Lets consider the ancient age.Tht time men lived in caves more or less like animals without any legal or social bonding their behaviour was mosty governed by basic needs like hunger,desires etc.

When men started settling down into societies and took to farming from nomadic lifestyle then the question on inheritance wld have come...who would look after him in old age and who wld inherit the property.Marriage actually gave a social tag to his children tht they r his kids and they wld get his property after his death.

Slowly as the society evolved laws also evolved to control them.

As for gay marriages...I am not against gay people each person is entites to their wish.If the question is of just sleeping with someone the law shouldnt poke their nose unless its child abuse or rape.

but if 2 same sex consenting adults want to sleep together its their own wish law sldnt get involved in tht.

Now supposing 2 gay person want to stay together they buy a house furnish it maybe adopt a baby after some time things go wrong and they break up

Who will decide who gets the house and the baby ?

Supposing one of them dies who will get his assets his partner of his family members ?

Dont u think there shld be some law for this like divorce laws ?

So legalising gay marriages ensures tht nobody takes advantage of anyone and the inheritance goes to the right person.

Edited by niharika_n - 14 years ago

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

When you have taken legality as well as morality,then you remain illegal & immoral!!

Legality is never something outside the human relations!!It is for the people,created by the people & if necessary wd b amended for delivering the optimum comfort to the society!

legality is the social obligation that many may prefer over personal convenience/comfort!,which may affect the freedom/comfort of the other member(s) of the society!!As such it should be controlled!

Let J convince A of his feelings towards her & obtain a mutual consent for divorce !he shd also convince his parents as to look after her till she settles somewhere with some one!!(As it was Bhairon n co who brought her home! by way of child marriage,even though the mandatory 2 year period is over)

He should stay away from G till the matter is settled!

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

That is precisely the argument of gay activist groups niharika.

Adoption by gay individuals was also illegal until people petitioned in court and said that "parents" cannot be just a father and a mother, it can also be two fathers or two mothers. "Parents" are those commited to loving and raising a child.

But my point was not to debate the merits and demerits of gay marriage.

It was just a parallel that I was pointing out in the debate we are having here on legal vs. love and bonding arguments.

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Blukitten

@Blukitten

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo
That is precisely the argument of gay activist groups niharika.
Adoption by gay individuals was also illegal until people petitioned in court and said that "parents" cannot be just a father and a mother, it can also be two fathers or two mothers. "Parents" are those commited to loving and raising a child.

But my point was not to debate the merits and demerits of gay marriage.

It was just a parallel that I was pointing out in the debate we are having here on legal vs. love and bonding arguments.

I know I just added my point on gay marriage as I have had enough of GAGA 😉

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deep153134

@deep153134

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

The day humans are going to be given freedom with relationships, we will become less civilized than the animals.

Everyone is given choice to walk in and walk out of relationships whenever needed.
People always find options outside marriages and an easy walk-out will be a reason that people try to put very little effort in working out their relationships.

This freedom makes relationships very volatile. As people may find it easy to move out of a relationship than bothering or stressing yourself in working it out. Its hard to establish stable relationships hence forth.

In many societies where Divorce rate is Rampant , we see a lot many cases of depressions.
Loneliness is a major cause and i have seen many women in western civilizations trying very hard to see that their husbands dont leave them or trying really hard to woo their stable boyfriends to get a commitment and marriage for years and then most of the time their efforts fail. Then again back to square one for starting another relationship. Whichever society it is, Divorce and heartbreaks are really very painful.

Not all are able to get a partner easily there are many people in this world for some reason (not so good looking, shy, physically challenged) In this freedom world i am scared to see the plight of these people.

Social norms are there for some reason. Breaking them doesnt make you a cooler person.
But, i dont support irrational norms that certain narrow minded sect of people come up with for their own benefits like Dowry, Child Marriages and Honor Killing etc. Thats the reason we have Law to gaurd some of the norms.

At the same time , I also insist to people like Anandi who go through such humiliations and torture to get out of relationships. Self Respect is most important one . If you loose it , its hard to live ur life with head high.

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legal norms vs. love and bonding

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