PART 23
She sat on her bed, hugging her knees close. The night's events had left her shaken. She didn't know what to make of it all. She was glad that they'd found each other, but why had she been so afraid when they hadn't? Why did it ALWAYS affect her so much? Why did HE always affect her so much? A sliver of moonlight slithered into the room through the half open window. It fell on the wall in front of her, shedding light on the photographs. Almost half the wall was covered with pictures. She smiled at a few recent additions. They were her's and Armaan's pictures from Ashley's wedding. And a few that they had managed to capture during their tour of New York.
Getting up, she went up to look at them more closely. She thought about the memories behind each photo and she was filled with warmth. They'd had so much fun! Each moment with him was special. They may be doing the most ordinary things in the world but just being with him gave her this incredible feeling. She was never on tenter hooks with him. Not once had she thought, "What if he asks me something I can't answer?" It was all so easy. Simple. Amazing. But then why wasn't she at peace with herself? Why did the "thing" keep coming up?
She remembered how she'd felt when she lost him at the mall. So alone. She hadn't felt like that since years. Since when had his presence, his companionship begun to matter so much? It's always mattered that much to you. She frowned at that thought. It was true, she supposed. She would lose some of that self control she'd built so carefully around herself. She'd let the crazy in her, out. She'd act like a kid. And that wasn't something she did with anyone else.
Riddhima plugged in her iPod, trying to lose herself in the music. But she missed him. It'd only been an hour or two since she last saw him and she missed him. Already. The sudden urge to talk to him, to fight with him took over her and she opened her eyes, surprised. She wanted to see him again. What was wrong with her?! The answer came to her lips almost instantly. You're reassuring his presence in your life, Riddhima. But why? Since when had she needed to do this? And why wouldn't the nagging feeling leave her? The feeling that, what would she do if one day, he wasn't there? It irked her to know that she felt this way. Warring with herself, she thought of sending him a text message.
Good Night Armaan :)
No, that was too blas. Like nothing had happened. Erasing it, she thought of something else.
Good Night Armaan! Thank you :)
But that wasn't good enough either. Thank you? Nah. That sounds like I wouldn't have survived if he wasn't there. I would've been just fine. I would've, right? Ugh. Of course Riddhima! Ainvayi Ainvayi kuch bhi mat soch! You don't depend on him. I think. Maybe I should just sleep.
Muttering to herself about how on earth she was going to rehearse with him for the next two weeks, she sent him the final text message. Something that conveyed her gratitude discreetely, without making her sound desperate.
Good Night Armaan! :)
See you tomorrow!
xoxo
Riddhima
A few moments late she received his reply.
Good Night :)
And the next time we go shopping, I'm definitely taking the lift with you ;)
-Armaan
She gave out a small laugh. It took only the second line of his text, to put her fears to rest. She had no clue what would happen tomorrow. But for now, he was there. Tired after all that emotional stress, she slept soundly; with a smile on her face.
Armaan sat in his cabin, his head thrown back in the chair. Work just wouldn't come to him today. He smiled. Was it just him or did love make everyone feel like that? He couldn't wait to see her. The thought made him frown. As far as he knew, she wasn't in love with him. Toh main usske saamne react kaise karoon? What if I let something slip? Damn. That would be the most embarrassing thing. Period. I need to keep myself in check. And act normal.
"Yeah you definitely need to do that."
He looked up, shocked. Had he thought out loud? And what the hell was she doing here? He looked at her. She was smirking at him, her eyes dancing with mischief. Wearing a red chooridaar and with her hair open, she looked nothing short of beautiful.
"Tumne suna maine kya kaha?" he asked her, uncertainly.
She nodded, laughing. She walked up to him, coming closer. And closer. And closer still, until they were almost touching. His breath stuck in his throat. She was even more beautiful up close and a bout of feelings struck him hard. Only he knew how much he controlled himself.
"Riddhima, what are you doing?"
She clutched his collar and smiled while his eyes widened with shock. Really, what the hell was she doing? "Main toh-"
Before he could hear the complete sentence, he heard a knock on the door.
Before he could say anything the door opened and in she came.
"Riddhima, tum yahaan?"
Riddhima looked at him with a strange expression. What on earth was he on about?
"Armaan, main yahaan kaam karti hoon?!"
He blinked as realization dawned on him. The other Riddhima had only been a figment of his imagination. Embarrassed he invited her in and admired her as she walked in, clad in a deep blue top and jeans.
Riddhima looked at Armaan as she subtley checked him out. It was like her first day at office, all over again. And boy he looked hot! The formal attire suited him to the T. What the hell am I doing?! Checking him out???? I have GOT to stop doing that. Seriously.
Snapping herself out of her thoughts, she brought out the file that she had come in to give him and showed him her designs. She started telling him all about them, the material to be used, the colors, everything. Getting up, she gestured here and there, talking animatedly about her work.
Armaan looked at her, mesmerized. He remembered her first day at office and smiled. It'd been the same. He'd been attracted to her even then. Difference being; now he knew he loved her. Had that dimple always been there on her cheek? He noticed the smallest things about her; inconsequential things that really didn't matter. But it was like he was seeing her for the first time.
"Right?"
He was brought back to earth by her question. Not wanting to embarrass himself he said, "Yeah, you're right! I love the idea!"
Thankfully for him, that seemed like the right thing to say, because she gave him a bright smile and made her way back to her cabin after gathering her papers.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, annoyed at himself. He had no idea what she had been talking about.
Riddhima sat in her cabin, her headphones plugged-in; as she hummed a song while matching different coloured fabrics to see what would look the best for the sofa. Just then, she received a text.
Hey there :)
What's up? You left a missed call today morning?
Koi kaam hai kya?
-Ish
Yeah. Could you come by the studio today evening? Humaara dance complete ho chukka hai, I just want your opinion on the whole thing! 6-ish good for you?
-Riddhi
Sure thing! I'll be there! But make it quick, 7.30 ka movie show hai! ;)
-Ish
Movie? Lucky you. *Sigh* I haven't seen a film in eons.
-Riddhi
Come with us! It'll be fun!
-Ish
Nah. The two of you go alone. God knows WHAT my innocent eyes will have to see if I come with you guys...
-Riddhi
Shut up :P
-Ish
Oooh...LMAO :D Tell Arjun I said hi! Gotta go now, I'm at work! Bye! :)
-Riddhi
Bye! Ciao bella!
-Ish
"Ciao bella"??? Seriously? :P
And now I reeeaaally have to go ;)
-Riddhi
Catcha later :)
-Ish
She resumed her work and worked throughout the morning, stopping only for lunch.
It was evening and they were practicing their dance. Armaan watched Riddhima. They were doing the usual steps, but something was off. She was holding herself back. It wasn't like everyday.
Riddhima looked at Armaan, as he practiced his spin and she couldn't help but stare. Again. I can't stop checking him out?! Yeh kya ho gaya! It's SO embarrassing! And awkward! I haven't talked properly to him at all! This is weird. Extremely.
Just then Ishaan entered and Riddhima made her way towards him, giving him a hug and a swift peck on the cheek.
"Are you still trying to make him jealous?" he whispered in her ear.
"What?! No! Been two months since that thing, man!"
"Well, just to let you know, you're succeeding! He's looking at me like he wants to punch my guts out!"
Riddhima laughed and sneaked a look at Armaan. He appeared pretty normal to her. A little stiff, but normal otherwise.
She threw a puzzled look at Ishaan. "He looks normal to me!"
"Yeah that's 'cause you're just blind to this sort of stuff. Really, Riddhima." He said, shaking his head and she smacked his arm.
A while later they started dancing and Ishaan watched attentively, his brows furrowed.
Riddhima looked at him, as they danced. The whole thing felt awkward and uncoordinated. They were just not into it today. Correction. I'M not into it. Ugh. What the hell am I doing?!
They finished dancing and stood still, looking expectantly at Ishaan.
"WHAT are you guys doing?! You've selected an absolutely fabulous song, with amazing choreography, but where is the EMOTION? You guys are just dancing! There is no passion! No feeling! You're supposed to be "in love"!"
Armaan looked at Riddhima a little annoyed. They'd been doing fine till now and today is the day she decides to put up her least impressive performance.
"Well it's all her fault!" he said.
"Excuse me?! MY fault?" Riddhima seethed. Okay, so it was her fault, but he couldn't just say it like that!
"Yes, your fault! You're the one that's been behaving so weirdly today!"
"Me?" her mouth formed an 'O' as she spat fire from her eyes. "CLEARLY you don't know anything about being a good partner! Rule number one ' NEVER bail out on your partner!"
"I'm sure the rule doesn't apply when the partner, is just being STUPID!"
"Am not!"
"Are too! You've been so aloof throughout the evening!"
"And whose fault is that?"
"Not mine!"
"Of course it's your fault! Tumhaari wajah se-"
"MERI wajah se? Haww! Weird tum behave kar rahi thi, dance tumne bura kiya, arre toh ussme mera kya fault hai???"
"Arre tumhaara nahi toh kiska fault hai?! I have to keep myself in check because of you only! It's your fault kit um itne hot ho! Aur phir I keep staring like an idiot, and then..."
Armaan listened to her wide eyed at her confession. A smile played on his lips and he walked up to her.
"Hot, am I?"
Riddhima stopped short. Had she really said ALL that out loud? She felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment as he continued to smile at her.
"Maine aisa kab kaha?"
"Abhi abhi!"
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes you DID! Let's ask Ish-"
He looked around, but didn't see Ishaan anywhere. Riddhima too looked everywhere, puzzled. She tested him, asking him where he was.
Car mein hoon. Stuck in traffic. You guys didn't need me there, problem toh tumne hi admit kar diya! That you find him hot...*clears throat*
You are in loouuuvvveee my friend. LMAO :D
-Ish
I do not! And I'm not in loouuuvvee. Stop quoting ZNMD -__-
Please tell me you're not going to watch that film today?!
That'll be the FIFTH time :O
-Riddhi
Theek hai. I won't say, I'm going to watch it. :D
You two have fun!
Bye!
-Ish
Wow. You really ARE going to watch it. You're, and I quote ' "the mantally the sick.", my bwoy." LMFAO :D
Bye!
-Riddhi
Laughing, she made her way back to Armaan. "Woh umm, he went because well, he said we knew where the problem lies, so yeah..."
Armaan looked at Riddhima. He could tell she was nervous and embarrassed about her slip up. Maybe he shouldn't have prodded her.
"Riddhima are you, uh, okay? Like, you're not really, upset or anything, are you?"
Riddhima smiled at his worried voice. She decided to forget about the awkwardness and move on. Smiling, she said, "Nah. I'm sorry! I guess I was being silly."
"Arre usme sorry kya? Woh toh roz ka hai!"
"Armaaannn! Main-"
"Yada yada yada. Shall we dance?"
Sticking her tongue out at him, she gave her hand in his. Armaan smiled at how she stuck her tongue out and his smile only grew wider when he saw her smile too. A real smile.
Riddhima looked at him, waiting for the music to start. All of a sudden, he pulled her close. Dangerously close. For a minute, she lost herself, looking into his eyes, until a tug from him gave her the cue, that the song was about to start. Bringing herself back to earth, she continued dancing, even as their proximity continuosly created havoc with her senses.
"Arre yaar! Isse bhi abhi kharab hona tha? Ab hum practice kaise karenge?!" she fumed, pacing across the room. Their CD had just given away, leaving them without a song to practice.
"Calm down, Riddhima! Tumhaare paas iski copy nahi hai?"
"Of course I have a copy! But it's at home! Do have any other "amazing" ideas, Armaan?"
"Yep! Let's not dance, only! Aaj ke liye no practice!"
"No practice?! No practice meri jooti! Tomorrow is the rehearsal, man! And we're doing the closing number, it has to be flawless! We can't, not practice!"
"Will you relax? It WILL be awesome! Humne do mahine kya sirf timepass kiya hai? We've done enough practice!"
"Achha ek baar sirf counts se karte hai, baad mein we'll think about not practicing, okay?" she said, making it clear in her tone that they were not going to think about it at all. They were going to practice.
"Fine." He grumbled.
"5, 6, 7, 8..."
They finished the entire dance on counts and it came out perfectly. Riddhima smiled, satisfied.
"That was awesome!" she said, smiling.
"Haan haan. Aur maine toh Chinese mein kaha tha na? Nahi nahi, I mean it happens you know! Sometimes when I speak, I automatically speak Chinese!" he said, sarcastically.
Riddhima smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
"It's okay! What do you wanna do now?"
"Pata nahi! We have an hour to spend, tum batao!"
They lay down on the floor, tired after all that dancing. Armaan looked at Riddhima. She lay on the floor, her eyes closed, smiling a little. He smiled too.
"What are you looking at?" she asked him, her eyes still closed.
"Holy shit! That's just scary Riddhima! How'd you know I was looking at you?!"
"What, you can't feel it when someone stares at you?" she asked, turning around in his direction.
"Of course not! Aise kaise feel kar sakte hai?!"
"I'll show you! Close your eyes!"
He lay there, his eyes closed. Riddhoma looked at him covertly, not staring blatantly. Realizing that she was smiling for no reason, she blinked and came back to earth, as she looked at the ceiling.
"See? I can't feel you staring at me!"
Laughing, she said, "Yeah that's because I'm not staring at you, Armaan."
His eyes flew open only to meet hers, as she laughed heartily.
"You're so mean, Riddhima!"
"Too bad I don't care."
And the hour passed.
"Rahuuull! Muskaaan! Jaldi! I've got something to tell you guys!"
"Oye Ridzy chilla mat! Hum roz living room mein hi hote hai, wahaan pe hi kyun nai aati?!" said Muskaan as she and Rahul made their way to Riddhima.
"Haan yaar. Chhod na! Tu na Muskaan, humesha unimportant cheezein lekar baith jaati hai! Woh sab baaju hataa, aur yeh sun."
"Achha bataa, kya hai?"
"Yeh Saturday Footprints hai. Mera aur Armaan ka dance dekhne-"
"Ae lo. Maine toh socha pata nahi kya baat bataani hai, jo itna drama kar rahi thi! Yeh toh maloom hai! Main aur Rahul aa rahe hai, tujhe aur tere boyfriend ko dekhne!"
Riddhima scowled, while Rahul and Muskaan laughed. "Main drama nahi kar rahi thi!"
"Achha, matlab humne use tera boyfriend bulaaya usse tujhe koi problem nahi hai?" asked Rahul, joining in, adding to Riddhima's embarrassment.
"Shut up yaar! Woh mera boyfriend nahi hai. Ho gayi shanti? Now listen, will you?!"
"Sorry baba, ab bataa. What's up?"
"So, umm Sunday is Footprints and Monday onwards, you're taking two weeks off. You'll start work only from next to next Monday." She said, smiling excitedly.
"Kis khushi mein?!"
"Because you guys, are going to Austria and Hungary, that's why!"
"Why are we going over there?" asked a perplexed Rahul.
"Baraat mein nachne. Arre ghumne, aur kisliye?!"
"Aur humein wahaan kaun bhej raha hai?" asked, Muskaan.
They sat down on the couch as Riddhima explained why she wanted them to go.
"Ridzy, we can't possibly go! What about work?"
"I've arranged all that! You can ask John! I met him and we managed to reschedule all your appointments! Pleaseee! Go na! Waise bhi, I'm not giving you guys a choice! Saare bookings ho chuke hai!"
Wordlessly, Rahul and Muskaan hugged Riddhima. The three of them held on tightly. It was one of the defining moments of their friendship. No matter what, they would always be there for one another. They broke away, smiling.
Riddhima wiped away a small tear. At times like these, she was overwhelmed with the love these two showered on her. They had never let her feel orphaned.
"Chalo, I'll show you the bookings and stuff."
They discussed the details of the trip over dinner.
"Ridzy, you have to let us pay man! These are all first class hotels! Must've cost you a fortune! Sach bol, tune apne car waale savings se paise nikale na?" asked Muskaan, easily understanding Riddhima.
"Arre you're NOT paying! Yeh maine plan kiya hai, and I'll pay! As for my savings, don't worry I haven't used them all!" she explained to them how she thought that she'd use the award money. After a lot of cajoling, they agreed.
"What will you do when we're gone?"
"I'll manage! After Footprints, I'll be busy packing and stuff, Paris jaana hai. And then after coming back, I don't know! I'm not a kid, dude! Work should be enough to occupy my time!"
After talking for a bit, they made their way to the bedrooms, tired after the day's happenings.
She took a look at the audience from the backstage. Itne saare log? Shit.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm going to mess up! And then everything will go wrong and then I'll embarrass myself and Armaan on stage! Shit. Phir people will boo us! Oh God No. What if I forget the steps? Ya phir wardrobe malfunction ho gaya toh? Eww. It'll be so embarrassing. Shit. Why the hell did I have to sign up for this dance?! Everything's gonna go wrong. I KNOW it. Sab galat ho jayega and I'll be so embarrassed!" she rambled on, terrified at the thought of her performance.
"Riddh-"
Armaan came towards her, calling her but he stopped short when he saw her. She looked stunning. The baby blue, almost transparent dress, flowed over her body, cascading down till her knees. She'd left her hair open, save the little puff she'd made on top. Her face had minimal make up, but it was in all the right places and she looked angelic. His breath hitched for a moment. Coming back to earth, he heard some of her rambling and smiled. She, of all people was nervous?
Riddhima turned sideways, only to find him smiling at her. She looked at him. They'd worn the same color. His shirt was transparent, displaying his abs in all their glory. Riddhima groaned mentally. Agar bhoolse thode steps yaad bhi reh gaye na, toh isse dekhkar zaroor bhool jaungi! What the hell was I thinking when we bought this costume for him? Shit.
She looked at him and smiled nervously. "Hi!"
He smiled and walked upto her. "You look nice." He said.
"Uh, thanks." Nice?! NICE? Matlab mera costume sahi nahi hai? Oh God. Why am I always a nervous wreck before performances?
He looked at her worried face and said, "Riddhima, relax! We'll be fine!"
"I know that!!" she said, annoyed.
"Then why are you so nervous?!"
"I don't know! Humesha hoti hoon! It'll pass, okay? You chill."
"Wait, so you KNOW that there is no reason to be nervous and you're still nervous? I don't get it!"
"You don't have to! This is just how it is! I'm always insanely nervous before a performance! Oh God, there's only five minutes left!"
Armaan saw her getting even more tensed. He didn't care if this would pass on its own. Seeing Riddhima of all people, nervous made him feel weird. He went upto her and held her by the shoulders.
She looked at him, her nervousness almost tangible. What was he DOING, distracting her like that!
"Riddhima, listen to me." Making sure he had her attention, he continued. "We'll be FINE. You need to relax and calm down okay?" Lightening up his tone, he said, "Besides, you already look so ugly! What else could POSSIBLY go wrong?!" he finished dramatically.
The nervousness forgotten, she narrowed her eyes. "I look WHAT?"
"Ugly! Tch. Seriously, Riddhima what are you wearing?"
"Tell me, fashion police, What.Should.I.Have.Worn.?"
He knew she was really angry now. "Oh I don't know! Maybe you could have worn another color-"
"EXCUSE ME? We chose baby blue because YOU said it looked good!"
"You're not getting the point! Baby blue DOES look good! I'm afraid the same can't be said for you!" he said, keeping his tone as nonchalant as possible.
"I look ugly? I DO NOT LOOK UGLY! Suna tumne? I look much better than you!..." she rambled on and on, letting out all her nervousness. Suddenly she saw him smiling at her and she smiled, embarrassed.
"You did that on purpose didn't you?"
"Did what on purpose?" he said, feigning ignorance.
"You provoked me on purpose." Seeing him smile, she knew she was right. She hugged him, grateful. Wishing each other best of luck, they stepped on the stage and took their positions.
[Click HERE to see their dance]
They started off with an embrace. The music played and almost immediately everything fell into place. Each step was clear. They knew what they had to do. The song started and everything else was forgotten.
There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake the solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you
They met and they parted, performing each step in sync. The two months of grueling practice had resulted into a simple dance with understated brilliance. The ease with which they did the steps, no one would think it took them two months to master that. She looked at him, maintaining the eye contact. All her nervousness had vanished now. She was doing something she loved. Dancing. Every step, every move, came out flawlessly. His eyes reflected the same joy. This was a success. Already.
'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it to
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender...
He flipped her over as they did an intricately choreographed step for the chorus. He laid her on the ground, and then helped her up, as she twirled gracefully and he lifted her. Riddhima loved the way the steps were coming out so easily. They were making it look almost effortless. She remembered asking her teacher how to reach the peak of her potential. She'd said that there comes a point when you're dancing, when the steps, the music, everything ceases to exist. You let go and just dance with all your heart. When you're able to do that, you've reached the peak of your potential.
She felt herself being spun around, as he held her securely. In that moment, when all she could feel was the wind in her face and the security of his arms around her waist, she let go. She let go like she never had. The liberating feeling spread through her and if possible, she danced with a lot more passion.
She looked at him, as they performed spins after spins, all of them perfect. She could see everything with dizzying clarity. Everything that had confused her before made sense now.
Right here, right now
I give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything I surrender all to you
Right here, right now
I give my life to live again
I break free, take me
My everything I surrender all to you...
And she wondered why she'd been so thickheaded before. She didn't know what it was. The song, or her suppressed feelings, but she realized it today. She was in love with Armaan.
Armaan saw her and almost lost himself. Watching her dance, dancing with her, was something entirely new. They way they matched perfectly, the ease with which he performed the steps that he had thought were so complicated, surprised him. And as he watched her, he couldn't help but think how much he loved her.
She ran towards him, for the final lift. He lifted her effortlessly in the air, the thundering applause of the audience surrounding them as they finished. He brought her down and looked into her eyes, both of them lost in the moment.
Riddhima looked into his eyes, the sudden rush of emotion striking her hard. The depth of her feelings surprised her and she fought to keep herself in control. They ended their dance just like they'd started it, in an embrace. She hugged him tightly, trying to come to terms with the new development. Breaking away, she giggled softly when he winked at her. She had fallen. And she'd fallen bad.
She sat in the changing room, having changed into comfortable clothes, her head pounding with the events of the night. I love him. I love him! I love him??? Damn. Yeh kaise ho gaya! But I guess it's not that bad. Right? I mean, I'm pretty sure he doesn't love me, so it just means I have to control myself a little. Last time galti se hot hai aisa admit kar diya, I can't afford to do that now. Too embarrassing. It'll be okay. I think.
Her phone buzzed.
Ridzy, hum log ghar jaa rahe hai! Muskaan is a little unwell.
Man, your dance was fabulous. Sachii! Muskaan is all fida over you two. Be ready for a long grilling session tomorrow morning :D
Goodnight :)
When you're done, gimme a ring, I'll pick you up, okay?
-Rahul
She walked out of the changing room and towards the snacks counter. She was busy replying and didn't see him coming. Feeling herself bump into someone she stopped. Only to see Armaan.
"Sorry! I didn't see you, text kar rahi thi! Are you okay?"
"I'm good, it's okay. Waise I need to show you something. Tell Rahul and Muskaan to go home, I'll drop you!"
"But wh-"
"Sawal baad mein!"
"Fine!"
She texted Rahul that he didn't need to pick her up. As soon as she was done, they headed towards the exit.
"Armaan ruko! I wanna eat! Mujhe bhook lagi hai!"
"I have food, tum chalo toh sahi!"
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere."
They sat in his car and drove off in silence, both of them thinking about the other.
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