Kool's Commentary : March 16 - Page 13

Wow, Hope...it's getting even longer than a book 😆...I wondered where you went.  I appreciate your taking a lot of time to detail your feelings as well.  it's nice for you to elaborate on your take and position and where you are coming from. 

I have to say tho, that i was completely stunned 😲 😛when you said that you haven't watched any episodes since last Dec. and rely on kools commentary for the WU and comments by her and others on this thread......i don't even know how to respond to that.😕  How can one form an opinion without seeing the show, including the body language and the facial expressions of the actors? If you could have seen the shock and hurt, the pain and sadness on Manav;s face, and his body language of confusion and uncertainty, and after some time, finally giving way to defeat, perhaps you would have reconsidered some of your opinions.   I have great respect and affection for Kools and will be the first to defend and stand with her when there is any problem, and i have...she & do agree on many things but on this issue we are waaay opposite.   Relying on the words conveyed in a WU that already has a very very definite opinion, like kools commentary, cannot possibly provide a way to form an objective opinion, imho. (no offense to u kools dear !! 😊) So, if that's the only exposure you have to the show, well, of course you will form your opinion based on that commentary. I guess if even i, who differs greatly with kools on this issue,  read only this commentary & thread, and didn't watch the show, i  would also have come to the same conclusions as you have. 😆  As an example of what i'm tryin to say,  I tend to agree pretty much with Tanya on her Savita/Manav assessment, but even there, after i have read her write up and watched the show, many times i will say..."Oh no, after watching it I disagree with Tanya's assessment on an event she described.."  (Both try to be somewhat objective about the actual WU but feelings come through...it's only natural)  😊

That said,  there are some very interesting points you brought up in your post and i would like to respond to them in addition to some specific replies:

1)  One thing we both mentioned and you expanded upon was the difference in our upbringing.  There is no doubt that it has influenced both of us.  I grew up in the US but don't live there now and while i was raised with more western values, as i have grown up through the years of my life, i tend to be much more influenced by  eastern thought.  I realize however in my post, i used western terminology.  But let me say that i live in a kind of chawl in my country now...it is an economically poor neighborhood (we dont' really have distinctions of class - upper, middle,  lower etc in our country) and filled with the ethnic richness of many cultures...yemenite, iraqi, egyptian, and many indian and nepalese. I do recognize some of the cultural dynamics as being very much the same.  To be honest, it was my several Indian and Nepalese friends who introduced me to "Bollywood" and the Indian soaps...I asked many of them.."is this how it is in India & Nepal?"  to which the response was always, yes, very much so, even more than what you see ...there is a lot of hurt, a lot of pain, a lot of anger in chawl life and it is not good."  I say that to say that while your and kools memories seem to be pleasant ones, (thank God) it apparently isn't true for everyone that life in the chawl, while perhaps typical, isn't & wasn't a happy healthy thing.   There again...it ends up being so personal... .

Where i draw the line between sickness and health, between "normal and colorful" is the level of hurt and pain and the depth of broken relationships...if that is consistently experienced, how can one say it is normal and healthy...even if it is common?  So, i guess our definition of sick or health may not be the same. 

2) Which brings me to a 2nd point.  You mentioned having watched the early episodes of the show, and asked if i had seen them. No, i started watching when Manav was in jail the first time...a little while before Sachin's death.  So, this could explain a lot.  I never saw the household happy, you have not seen it anguished.  It is perhaps this thing the CV's do when they totally change and manipulate the characters with little consistency.  So we aren't even talking about the same people. cuz the CV's changed them.   I think the divorce really really screwed up the show big time...it seemed to be the point everything and everybody went haywire, including us the viewers, and the writers unfortunately dug themselves into a hole they didn't know how to get out of...and still haven't...

I think i will post this now, just to have discussed a couple of general issues..and then i will post later tonight a few responses to a couple - three specific things you said regarding the characters and their actions. 

I have to say i find our discussion interesting and i enjoy learning about why we all come to the conclusions we come to...In all fairness to PR. it is the only Soap i can think of that stays "normal" enough to let us discuss the deeper issues of life as a by product.  It is the only one i watch now as the others i started watching all got sooo ridiculous and detached from reality, there was no point in watching OR discussing...

so.. till later tonight when i return from my day... 😛 😛 😛

Edited by naava - 13 years ago

Originally posted by: sowmya_jairam

Wow!!Such detailed analysis from both Naava and Hope. Loved reading both of them-two sides of the same coin. Thanks to both of you for explaining so beautifully your POVs. It was a delight to read. While I understand Naava's POV, I agree with Hope's POV in Savita-Manav /Deshmukh relations. 😃 I think there is no one way to generalize relations/emotions---it depends on so many factors including economic status, circumstances and very importantly, the setting the family is based on. I think every family is either normal or dysfunctional to different degrees depending on how you look at it-one person's normal vision may not encompass another's. In the setting of the Deshmukh household, most of these things are normal-except of course, the ARMAN-Shravani situation. That was dysfunctional/abnormal in any household. Each family/relation needs to be analyzed independently taking into account all of the above and more factors-I'm sure there are several books on what exactly those factors are-that is also the reason why economic and emotional independence for Vaishali wont work. Because it is set in PRland and Karanjkar house, and the person involved is still emotionally immature. But if Varsha would have been in that situation, then her actions and the results that would have followed would be vastly different.

i liked what you said here sowmya...all famiies exhibit both "personalities" to a certain extent...

i"m commenting only because i said i would finish up, but already we are all in another place now, the show is moving on....i had a few points to make but I'm tired and you are tired and we will always just happily agree to disagree as the saying goes...

I was perplexed however that a point was made that in the west people would not feel guilty over ruining family expectations, and that personal happiness entitlement was more important. I have no idea where that understanding came from, but it doesn't accurately reflect the realities of  normal people in western culture.  Maybe magazines or something, but not how real people think...at all.

Hope i see you again on the forum.. it was nice discussing things.  All the best Hope. 

.

Originally posted by: naava

2) Which brings me to a 2nd point.  You mentioned having watched the early episodes of the show, and asked if i had seen them. No, i started watching when Manav was in jail the first time...a little while before Sachin's death.  So, this could explain a lot.  I never saw the household happy, you have not seen it anguished.  It is perhaps this thing the CV's do when they totally change and manipulate the characters with little

 Those episodes r available on the net. You can see how dis-functional  D'family was.
 U will see how savita's character was and what all she did.  How close kaka and  manav were.. you should watch those episodes. you will everything not just D'family.... You
will enjoying watching how manav and archana were just after their 1st marriage. here is the link

http://www.desi**fo***.net/forum/pavitra-rishtha/29632-pavitra-rishtha-video-archieve.html
replace ** with tv and *** with urm

Edited by karsri - 13 years ago