Men feel so helpless in the face of grief!!

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eveline

@eveline

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I remember the days, when I was shattered by a similar experience...and I remember the helplessness in my hubby's eyes.......

Maan's eye had the same haunted look....although misunderstood to be the stronger of the two sexes...men are fundamentally incapable of dealing with pain...emotional or otherwise...in the face of trauma ..they react in surprising ways...like walk away..like sometimes even badgering you if u dont talk....get irritated with your silence....very sweet in their own way...but unable to express through their words how they would like to take away our pain....i remember my hubby constantly hovering around me...asking me to rest 24/7.....making me talk about anything even trivial...looking at me or observing me while i pretended not to notice...are u oks a zillion an hour....

As much as life has taught me...i have seen various men in different roles...unable to face pain, or even talk about it...unlike women who can be vocal or teary about things...men just dont have this luxury...wanting to hug, to comfort, to share...but unable to do so....

could see the difference in Geet n Maan...Geet although shattered was more verbal n sharing...Maan just shut up n initially walked away...unable to see the raw pain..helpless in the face of real bitter truth...

Brilliantly protrayed by the team...the difference in the way a man and woman instinctively handle pain...!!

Edited by eveline - 14 years ago

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Bulbul

@Bul3

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

ya..very true..and this difference of expresion of pain was shown beautifully by CVs and DD-GC!..brought tears in my eyes!..extremely emotional episode!

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mysterygurl1427

@mysterygurl1427

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 14 years ago

thank u for bringing this up.....because many will wonder why GC did not express as DD did.....but this post will make them realize this is how men react...

did u see the way he looked when she said bring my baby back? I was stunned....he looked scared....hurt....pained......helpless thinkin how can he bring the baby back.....even when he left the room and sat on his own....that was what echoed in his head.....how can he bring the baby back?

He is a millionaire anything Geet asks he can get at her feet......but he can't get the baby back.......

Gurti were just brilliant today.....i bow to them!

thanks for a lovely post....i am soooo takin the link to this post and puttin it the idiots thread i hope u don't mind.

Edited by mysterygurl1427 - 14 years ago

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ninand

@ninand

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

yes... today Maan's poignant grief at what they lost, and seeing Geet broken.. for that moment he did loose control.. had to run... his expressions today were completely unguarded ..

and yes the characteristic differences between a man and woman were highlighted today..

Geet will take all the time it requires to heal, wil not suppress the pain, but feel it in its entirety.. it may takes days/weeks/months to come to terms with her loss(her child was, I believe her rebirth... the Geet that she is today)...

So yes, she will live the course of the pain till its acceptance... Men or Maan , will immediately be on guard, and try to suppress it while feigning normalcy...

Isnt that the precise reason why geet could laugh , banter, be happy even after everything she went through initially... and Maan could only show the attic with jumbled pieces representing things that hurt him, things he didnt discard.. and bitterness seeped through his facade of control..

the actors did a great job today.. hope they tackle this grief thing maturely/uniquely...

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Princess DD

@Amoureux

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I agree....

you don't see men break down that easily but thats not the fact... They do break down but only try to seal all the pain within themselves... and not show it....

you may not even realize when they would be crying real bad internally.... !!!

This was indeed beautifully portrayed by the team!!!

Edited by Azmatazz - 14 years ago

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undisclosed

@undisclosed

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

this is true...in the case of Maan this is also the case...he is used to being the one who saves her...and in this case he is helpless...because he doesn't know how to make the pain go away...he deals with his pain by becoming distant and hard...but since he is not a lone anymore he can't go back to this defense mechanism...which can result in frustration for any man and in the case of Maan especially...

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@-Nightingale-

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

I agree...Maan was lookig completely helpless

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Mehek25

@Mehek25

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Eveline, I am glad u wrote this....I too wanted to share these feelings with someone...I know what u mean and what Gurti are going through cause I too have gone through a similar experience...even my hubby just could not express his grief but in a million small ways tried to make me forget the loss....as for Geet's feelings I can well understand the pain she must be feeling... a mother gets attached to the baby from the moment she realises she is pregnant.....losing it at any time during ur pregnancy is like losing a part of urself.....I too took a long time to get over it......but by God's grace within a year I was blessed with a lovely baby girl....even then when i see or hear the word MC it brings back the sad moments again.....thats probably why I cried a lot as i watched Saturday and today's episode......

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Anu

@anuandavi

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Nice to read it. It is very true. Men never let out their pain or rather are sometimes even fear facing it. This post made me remember the dialogue that Abhishek Bachan said in Hum Tum "We men are strong in muscles but these ladies are strong hearted"

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undisclosed

@undisclosed

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: anuandavi
Nice to read it. It is very true. Men never let out their pain or rather are sometimes even fear facing it. This post made me remember the dialogue that Abhishek Bachan said in Hum Tum "We men are strong in muscles but these ladies are strong hearted"

this is a great phrase...😊

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Men feel so helpless in the face of grief!!

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