"Hmm" Tina tapped her chin with her finger, "That is it. Unless you want to hear more from me"
"Yes, I.." I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "I want to know what happened to you"
"Me? Nothing" She was lying; I knew it from her voice, which had dropped an octave when she had said that.
"Tina? Since when did you start keeping secrets from me? You've been in a bad mood for more than a week, now"
"No. It's nothing. Just stress, there has been a lot of work to do. And Priya has taken a week off. It's a bit tedious."
"Oh yeah. I had to tell you! She got engaged." I managed to say it without any hint of emotion.
"What?!" Tina's jaw was hanging open.
"And she didn't bother to tell us" She frowned.
"That little'I will show her! This is simply not done!" Her frown slowly changed into a smug grin.
I cocked my head, "What are you going to do?" She was planning something; something big. I just knew it.
"You'll find out"
"Tina!" I whined, "Tell me! Now!"
"Shut up. Let me concentrate!"
"Tweetuuu!" I rolled over from the sofa onto the ground and stood up, trying to appear dominating, "You are going to tell me what you are thinking. Right now!"
She stood up as well, but on the sofa, so she could be taller than me, "Hmph! I won't" she sniffled and held her chin higher, like a snooty governess teaching her students.
"Don't act too smart for yourself, honey!" I grabbed her arms and pulled her down. She squealed and tried to escape from my grip, as I started tickling her.
"Nakku! Aah! Stop it!!"
"I won't! Not until you tell me!"
She shimmied away from me, and grabbed a cushion, "There!" she yelled after each hit.
"You think you can beat me?"
Our little tussle had turned into a full-fledged pillow fight.
"Don't you dare rip any of my precious cushions!" I cried, while trying to aim at her head, "'Raj'"
Someone pressed the pause button on their remote. Tina and I froze.
"Shit. You had to ruin it didn't you?" Her voice wasn't loud, but the disappointment was evident.
The cushions in our hands fell to the ground and I followed them, kneeling down and hugging myself tightly.
"Sorry."
"Nakusha."
"Sorry!"
"Listen to me.."
"I said sorry. Now get lost."
She stopped me from getting up and rubbed my back, "I understand Naku, I seriously do. It's not your fault."
"Every time'"
"It's hard to forget 7 years of love in one year of nothing"
"But it's not nothing! I have failed, in more ways than one."
"Hush, now."
"I failed to look after Anu.."
"Shush Nakusha"
"I failed to appreciate you and your love"
"Naku.."
"I failed to protect the people that I had vowed to protect"
"Look, just chill. Everything is all right, I just snapped at you for no reason. No need to get all upset." She was talking to me as if I was Anu, "I am sorry, it was my mistake. There is nothing wrong with just saying his name; there is nothing wrong with remembering him."
"I've lost control over myself, Tina"
She took a deep breath and massaged circles on her forehead with her thumb and forefinger.
"Naku, get a grip over yourself. You are like a tower of cards; try and place the last card, and it all topples over"
"You are telling me something that I already know." I started to bite the nail on my thumb, "What should I do?"
"Get a life."
"I've been trying"
"And it all depends on one thing" she murmured
"What depends on what thing?" I asked, baffled by her riddle-type statement.
"The answer to your question will be given, depending on your reaction to what I am going to say next"
"And that is'?"
"Don't get mad at me, will you?"
"Just say it, Tweety"
"Ok. Um. Actually'"
"Tina?" I sighed exasperatedly
"Yeah, yeah. Actually, Baji didn't want me to tell this to you yet, but I can't hide it from you" she paused
I was imagining the cogs whirring in my head as predictions swirled around my brain. He was gay. He had a baby with a girl he had a one night stand with. He was'
"Sethji is sick, terribly sick. I think Baji said he had pneumonia or something."
I widened my eyes and stared at her; she looked away.
"He also won some major award in school, and your mother wants Baji to be there with him."
Of course. Mama would want Baji to be with him; not me. I was a bad influence.
I bit my lip until it started to bleed.
"I'", Tina looked at me, "Oh my! Nakusha!"
"It's 'kay. Continue.."
"He is going the day after tomorrow"
"So soon?" I couldn't help it; my voice sounded like a plead, like I was begging her to tell me that she was lying. I had ignored the humiliation that my father had caused me to feel since a year ago, but if something is shoved in your face, it's impossible to ignore it.
"He has to go"
"And he didn't want you to tell me because'?"
She picked up a tissue and wiped my lips as an answer.
"Hmmm" She grabbed my hand and pulled me up.
I glanced at the grandfather clock, "Izzy will make dinner. Have some if you want. I am going to sleep. I want to wake up early tomorrow"
"No, I don't want to have dinner here. I am going on a date."
"Another one?"
"Yes"
"Tina'"
"Not yet, Naku"
"Bye Tweety"
-
Anu was asleep snugly in my arms, her fist firmly shut and her hair flying all over the place because of the fan. I held her closer to me and shut my eyes.
-
4.00 am. Time to wake up, said the alarm. I pressed the snooze button and turned to the other side. 10 minutes later it decided to beep again and Anu stirred.
I yawned and patted her back, cooing until her whimpers became soft sighs.
"Please don't wake up" I whispered, as I lifted her head and took my arm out from underneath her neck.
She didn't, thank god.
I tippy-toed to my table and took out a sheaf of paper and a box of pens and pencils.
I sat down and mumbled a quick prayer as I switched on the lamp. I was drawing something after quite a while, and it caused a nervous but exciting feeling in my stomach. Would I still be as good?
-
Anu started to bawl as I clicked the seat belt in place.
"What's wrong?"
"Hot! Hot! Hot!" She wailed.
I rolled the gum around my mouth with my tongue, "It'll be fine in a few minutes, I promise."
The heat wave had hit all of a sudden.
"I wanna go home!"
"Anu! I'll take you to the pools, okay?"
"Pools?"
"Yeah, we can go swimming" I thought for a moment and said, "Do you know what swimming is?"
"In the water? We gonna go in the water?" She clapped her hands gleefully.
"Yep. In the water" I rolled the 'r' in a mock Spanish accent as I swerved the car to the right.
"We here?"
"Hmm" I helped her out of the car and we walked--well actually, Anu skipped, I walked-- to his house. I felt envious of Baji. I hadn't faced him yet, and I doubt I could. Sethji had always been closer to me, not him. I was the one that made his lunch after school, the one that had taken him to the park every evening, the one who covered up for him so he wouldn't get in trouble. And now he was in hospital and I wasn't even allowed to be with him.