FANFIC:
This scene has been inspired very slightly (close to the end actually) by hum tum!!! So you know what to expect rite??? It's twilight… angad and kripa are seated together… opposite ani-tah and prithvi at a table… behind them… kartik, mannan and dilip are huddled together… laughing maniacally after the 15th round of drinks as naina sits in a corner touching up her "face-paint" as I like to call it… harshoo is busy swooning at the beautiful swiss landscape… while alia is polishing her helmet…
A, K, P, AND ANITAH ARE TALKING… BUT A SIMULTANEOUS CONVERSATION IS GOING ON BETWEEN THE OTHERS AND SOME OCCASSIONAL SNIPPETS INTRUDE INTO THE A/K/P/ANITAH CONVO AND CAUSE GREAT CONFUSION…
ANGAD:
kripa darling… zara dekho toh… yeh nazaara kitna khoobsurat hai… bilkul… bilkul…KRIPA:
(laughs girlishly and looks shyly at him) bilkul meri tarah???ANGAD:
arre nahiin yaar… bilkul… arre uska naam yaad nahiin aa raha… kya naam tha…KARTIK:
(totally drunk) my Pinky!!!!KRIPA:
(shocked) Pinky????? Yeh pinky kaun hai… woh bhi tumne kartik ki girlfriend ke saath chakkar chalaaye… bade besharm ho tum!!! kaun hai woh chudail…? maar daloongi usse…ANGAD:
(mildly laughing) arre nahiin meri jaan… kartik keh raha tha ki uska yeh little finger jo hai na… who kal raat toot gaya…!ANITAH:
(in her usual nosey-parker fashion… raises her eyebrows in curiosity) achcha?? Kal raat woh kya kar raha tha?PRITHVI:
joh bhi hai… hume usse kya… chalo jaan main aur tum is thandi hawa ka maza lete hain…ANITAH:
(in pseudo sharam) thandi hawa??? Arre kuch toh sharm karo… yahaan itne saare log hain… kissi ne dekh liya toh…DILIP:
dekhne do beta…ANITAH:
kya??? Mausaa ji… aap bhi???ANGAD:
arre nahiin meri maa! Who toh dad kartik se keh rahe the ke mannan to uski tooti ungli dekhne do… aakhir mannan ne khaas africa se witch-doctory seekh kar class top kiya hai… aur phir… mujhe ek baat bataao… jo ladki din raat net pehnke ghoomti hai… aur jo ladki apni *ahem* patli kamar dikhane mein sharm nahiin karti usse cootchie-coo karne mein sharm kabse hone lagi???KRIPA:
haan angu… tumne dekha hai kya… ki yeh college mein kya kya pehn ke aati hai… chi chi… haya to honi chahiye…!ANITAH:
(incensed that her own cousin is taking kripa's side) ab agar mere paas itni fantastic perfect 10 figure hai to log jalenge hi…MANNAN:
(this is supposed to be an african chant but read carefully… there's another meaning) motibandariya cellulitewaalikamariyaSize102-506-809… lagtihaipaagalkuttiya!
PRITHVI:
kya kahaa??? Mannan main toh tujhe…NAINA:
sssHHH! Prithvi! Mannan ko african jaap padne do… isme kitni jadooii shakti hai pata hai??KRIPA:
(innocently) really… kya aapne sachmuch isko kaam karte dekha hai…???NAINA:
(not looking away from her mirror and pouting) hmm… of course darling… tum third class log is hi-fi field ke baare mein kya jaano… u little ****-MANNAN:
(another chant) budhichudail detihaigaalichoomantarkarde iskokaali…
NAINA:
kya??? Tumhaari itni himmat???KRIPA:
dekha auntyji? Kartik ki ungli ab bilkul theek ho gayi!!!ANGAD:
arre kripa… tumne yeh toh dekha ki uski ungli theek ho gayi… par kya tumne yeh notice kiya ki ussi haat ki haddi toot gayi…?ANITAH:
arre yeh kya hua…?PRITHVI:
chodo na anitah… unko apna kaam karne do… hum dono ko romance jo karna hai…ANITAH SMILES SHYLY AND FLUTERS HER EYELIDS TRYING TO LOOK VERY HOT BUT ENDS UP LOOKING NAUSEATINGLY "EWW"!
NAINA:
(muttering under her breath in typical ekta vamp style… a soliloquy of sorts) jald se jald angad ki shaadi mishti se karwa doongi… hua-ha-ha-ha… aur phir damini ki saari jaydad to harap kar aish karoongi… hua-ha-ha-ha-haPRITHVI:
kya?????DILIP:
arre yahi toh hona tha!KRIPA:
kya???ALIA:
(now irritated with the commotion) hey guys… uncle was saying that african chants are rubbish anyway!KRIPA:
oh…PRITHVI:
oh…ANITAH: prithvi darling… chalo hum tum future ke baare mein baat karein…
ANGAD AND KRIPA:
(in chorus): kya??KARTIK:
(laughing in his drunk manner) tum jaise logon ka koi future hi nahiin!ANITAH:
how dare you bhaiyya! Aap aisa kaise keh sakte hain… mera dil tod diya!ALIA:
OH MY GOD SIS!!! You are impossible… bhaiyya was saying that mannan jaise in african witch-doctors ka koi future nahiin…!KRIPA:
chalo lover boy… hum jaakar apna future discuss karenge!ANGAD:
sure babe… tumhe kitni gaadiyaan chaahiye?KRIPA:
arre mera bacchcha… I'm not talking about gaadi's!ANGAD:
phir kya? Jewelry?KRIPA:
nahiin re!ANGAD:
lipsticks??KRIPA: (runs her hand over her tummy) ab kuch samajh aaya!!!
KARTIK:
(has drunk too much… as a result) LOOSE MOTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Scene closes on everyone's shocked faces!!!
CID
Ishaani
