He walked past the Locker room and like a lifeless body stood there still and frozen...He had overheard Riddhima and Armaan...All he had heard just now seemed to take a long time to reach his mind and even longer to his heart...Riddhima's sobbing words hammered against his ears...His heart had felt silent...Siddhant Modi started walking along the corridor like a being devoid of senses, of feelings, of breath, of soul, of heart...He was a creature who has just been robbed of every desire to live.
He did not cry...Actually he could not. Even his tears seemed to have defied and deserted him. Perhaps they were silently laughing at him at this moment. "It cannot be true...It just CANNOT"...He thought..."Its just my imagination....I heard something else...She did not say it...Everything is fine"...But everything was not fine....He squarely turned left without thinking and flung opened the doors of the deserted Recreation Room..
"RIDDHIMA" Siddhant screamed'
"Riddhima'." he howled
"You-You love...You-You love Armaan....You love Armaan....You never loved me.....You loved him all along??"
Siddhant sank on his knees grabbing locks of his own hairs. His voice reverberated in the room. They mercilessly boomeranged back to him, piercing his heart and soul like nails...It was a pain beyond all pain...An excruciating pain
He did not know what to do...He felt like laughing at himself as his tears had already abandoned him. He wordlessly returned to his home. When he had left the place this morning he had hoped that he would soon bring Riddhima back to his home - their home....Home?? This place felt like a dungeon now...Its walls were also laughing at him, taunting him, calling him a fool, a day dreamer, a loser...
He filled a glass of water but as he attempted to pour it down his throat an ugly sensation hiccuped it back to the glass....Even a glass of water was now as good as poison. As he turned on his heel something fell down from the table. He looked down upon the floor, bent down and picked it up.
It was Shilpa's family photo that she had entrusted him along with the truth of her birth. Suddenly Siddhant remembered Shilpa's last words..."Keep faith in your love...I am sure you will make it once again...You will win her back"..."Love" , "Faith", "Win her back" ' everything sounded so empty now..So hollow...What kind of joke was this??? It was a joke after all...A nasty joke that fate had played on him...
But what was his way forward??? What should he do?? Should he still pretend that everything will be fine?? Should he still hope like a fool that Riddhima would one day come back to him??? No'He can't do it any longer...He won't...He will face the facts...However bitter they were...He will face them. And he will redeem his past mistakes this time...
He took a parchment of paper and a pen and started writing...
"Dear Riddhima
I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say. But I know one thing; I must say this before it's too late. I must be gone from your life and its time you choose your happiness over your moral responsibilities which burden you. Yes. It's time that you listen to your heart.
I have realized that I had been nothing more than a burden forced upon you by fate. I always chose to remain ignorant. I always chose to pretend to myself that you belong to me. I always most foolishly assured myself that you love me. Didn't I know that your heart still beats for Armaan??? Didn't I see love for him in your eyes?? I did. But still I lied to myself. Because I was a fool. I was a coward. I secretly feared losing you. But never realized that how can I lose something which was never mine in the first place!!! Today when I overheard you and Armaan in the Locker room, I was gravely weakened. But then it was your love which strengthened me and helped me to dominate the weakling in me.
You never belonged to me. Your heart and happiness lies in Armaan not me. You must be with him. And I must not create any more trouble in your ways. I don't know whether I will ever forgive myself for this but certainly hope that you will. Before I leave I have an important thing to divulge.
It's about you Riddhima. About your father and your younger sister. Yes Riddhima, you have a younger sister from your biological father's side. Her name is Shilpa. Shilpa Malhotra. She is your own sister. She wanted to tell this herself but feared that you hated her. She has no one in this world except you. You are her only living family. She entrusted me with this secret before she left. I promised her that when everything is sorted out, I will unite both of you. I hope I kept my word.
I shall consider myself extremely fortunate even if I had found a place in your heart as a friend. I wish you and Armaan a very happy life ahead.
Good Luck
Your most foolish friend
Siddhant"
He left the letter next morning silently in Riddhima's cabin before she had arrived...Siddhant went far away from her and spent all his life unmarried loving Riddhima unrequitedly.
PS: Perhaps This is my last post on this forum....Its been nice all along...But now I really feel disarmed after watching today's episode...So I have decided to detach myself completely from this show and forum...Goodbye to all and a special thanks to my fellow Siddhimaholics...For making my time out here so special...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
