Hi Everyone!
I would like to give a very heartfelt:
to:
Semarnk, soapsick, deepa101, maryaa8688, premdesh, snehaheer21, moon_mine, heer193, punjabi0926, ~nikki1992~, Palkhi_08, cute1122, nspn.92, sweetanu2314, Ayesha103, resham12345, -Garima-, sonia7, newt2007, crystall, Motibah, - Nitya, -fsn-, sweta2005, brainychild92, ...Nikhita...,-Kali-
for Commenting, Hitting the Like Button, And/or sending a PM
It really means a lot to see these things.
*Waves to all the silent readers who may be out there supporting me ⭐️
So you guys are just getting this update earlier than the usual Saturday update. I got to get back to writing and really the comments have given me the positive energy to keep going. So I really appreciate it! 😃
Now onto the next chapter...
*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*
Please Keep Your Hands and Feet Inside At All Times...this Rollercoaster ride is taking off from this point forward.
It's going to get Bumpy...lots of Twists and Turns, Dips and Slides, and Craziness (some illogical plot lines are going to start occurring...please forgive me 😕)
You have been warned.
So No Jumping Off! I cannot be held responsible for your sanity
You will want to 🤢 and 😡 and 😭 and 😕 and 😳 and 😆.
Chapter 40: Drunken Remorse
Heer couldn't believe she had just publicly agreed to the engagement. The smile and happiness on her father's face was of little comfort as she thought of Prem and what he must be thinking at this very moment. The next thing she knew a crowd of her friends from school bombarded her with all sorts of questions and congratulatory words. Prashant stood next to her completely amused by all the excitement and well wishes they were receiving. He vowed to do whatever he could to make this new transition in their relationship as smooth as possible. He was happy now that things were out in the open. It would make it easier for him to get closer to her.
Meher and Ashlesha waited patiently as the crowd around the couple slowly thinned before rushing Heer off to one of the restrooms to secretly talk. "What the...Oh My God...I'm-I'm-I'm...you...he...ahhhhh...engaged," Meher rambled.
"I think what she's trying to ask is what just happened? How did you agree to marry this Prashant dude when you're dating Prem?" Ashlesha clarified.
"Not just dating...she's in love with Prem," Meher finally said speaking her first fully audible sentence.
"You're in love with him?" Ashlesha said. "Oh My God..."
Meher grabbed her sister's arms and rattled, "How could you do that Didi? How could you? After everything and how you were suppose to tell our parents? Why didn't you say something...it was the perfect time...just out in the open...say it short and sweet...NO."
"You think that was easy for me?" Heer replied with frustration. "Everyone was there...I couldn't just say no...not after the way Papa was looking at us."
"You're really worried about face at a time like this?" Meher asked.
"No, Heer's right, Meher. I know this is strange coming from me but at least my fights with my mother are only in front of family. We're talking about a room full of high profile people here. The Junejas run in some high social circles...you can't just announce something like that out in the open in front of everyone...you know how bad the gossip would get? And the worst of it they would blame Heer...labeling her as some sort of tramp. The guy always gets off scot free regardless of the real situation. Gossip is always hearsay things get left out of the story," Ashlesha said.
Heer buried her face in her hands and cried, "I don't know what to do." Meher and Ashlesha both looked at each other worriedly and then hugged Heer trying to give her some comfort.
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A few minutes later the girls emerged from the bathroom uneasily ready to face the party again. Prashant quickly came to Heer's side and offered his hand to her, "Dance?" The minute he said that the soft romantic melody of Bryan Adam's (Everything I Do) I Do It For You started playing. (*By far one of the most romantic songs ever...I just love it...just take a listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0pdQU87dc8&feature=channel) Heer stared at his hand and even though she didn't want to take it she had no choice but to as she felt everyone's eyes following them. The crowd made way as they walked towards the center of the dance floor and began dancing.
Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
When you find me there you'll search no more
Heer felt uneasy with Prashant's hand on her waist. She avoided his gaze at all cost and focused her attention on scanning the room. She was worried about Prem. She didn't know where he was and it was killing her inside. Then suddenly she looked up and found him staring back at her; he was dancing with Sanjana. Heer instantly felt her jealousy perk despite knowing how Prem felt about his friend. She stared into Prem's eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking but she couldn't tell.
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
Can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true, everything I do...
I do it for you
As much as Prem felt like looking away he couldn't. He hated how Prashant was holding Heer's hand. He hated how Prashant was touching her waist. He hated how close he was to her. And most of all he hated how Heer had allowed this situation to happen.
Look into your heart and you will find there's nothing left to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it up, I would sacrifice
Sanjana felt at ease in Prem's arms. She loved how the song was so romantic and spoke of an all sacrificing love; one that could not be denied. She was giddy with glee as the biggest obstacle in her way was now officially gone. Heer was engaged and Prem did not have rights to her. She could make him hers.
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
You know it's true, everything I do...
I do it for you
The song was driving Prem insane. The words were empty and hollow to Prashant and Heer's relationship. He wanted to march over to the DJ booth and pull the plug. He knew Heer was looking at him trying to read his thoughts. But he purposely masked them because he didn't want someone dissecting him or trying to calm him down right now. What she had done to him was painful and he was anger and bitter at her actions.
There's no love like your love
And no other could give more love
There's no where unless you're there
All the time, all the way...
Heer looked on worriedly at the way Prem seemed to be acting. He seemed to be at times completely indifferent then she would notice a spark of sorrow or anger in his eyes. She felt an unnerving ache in her heart at what was going on. She knew she was partly to blame but did he hate her? She was scared to think that she had forced him away from her. But the reality of the situation was that she had already set the wheels in motion to a possible break up. She couldn't bear to lose him but her father's honor was now at stake.
Listen to your heart, baby...
Oooh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for
I can't help it there's nothing I want more
Yeah, I would fight for you
I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you
Yeah, I'd die for you...
You know it's true everything I do...
Oooh, I do it for you
The song faded away and was soon replaced by a dance number. The lights turned from romantic white stars to a colorful array of beams and lights. Preet and Meher marched right up to Sang's booth and demanded an answer. He held his hands up trying to show he was not the enemy in this situation. "Sorry guys...Prashant requested the song," Sang replied.
"Why didn't you tell him you didn't have it?" Preet asked.
"It was a little hard when he was looking through my song catalog...the song was right there and I had it in my playlist on the laptop. There was no way around it, man," Sang defended himself.
"Well, next time tell him all slow songs are broken or something," Preet angrily replied.
"Hey, I'm the good guy here remember? What did I do for you, huh...the restroom prank...who was out with back pain?" Sang shot back.
"Prank? Back problem?" Meher repeated and gave a questioning look at Preet.
"Um, yes of course, buddy," Preet said putting his arm around his friend in a good humor way. "Sorry for doubting you. Um, would you like a samosa?"
Meher crossed her arms, "Preeet?"
"I'll get you some samosas...chicken tikka...and a Coke..." Preet quickly said and ran off to the refreshments table.
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Prem stood there next to Sanjana facing Prashant and Heer. Just looking at them together was hurting his heart. Heer tried making contact with him through her eyes but he just avoided her gaze. "Congratulations!" Sanjana greeted. "You guys make a lovely pair," and then ever so gently slipped her arm around Prem's arm, "Don't they Prem?" Heer looked on hurt that Prem made no effort to remove Sanjana's arm from his. He just stood there acting like a statue. "Maybe we should go out for ice cream again...like a double date," Sanjana continued. Prem briefly clenched his fists at the look of triumphant in Prashant's face. He wanted to bash him in the head for that smirk. The awkward conversation was soon interrupted by some well wishers who wanted to speak with Prashant and Heer. As Heer turned to greet them she saw Prem walking away with Sanjana following closely behind him.
Prem walked out the front door to get some fresh air and peace. He really didn't want to be bothered right now. He turned towards Sanjana to tell her politely that he wanted to be left alone. But before he could say anything she spoke, "Wow, Heer didn't even tell you she was engaged, huh? You're like her best friend and everything. I guess she must not have thought too much about the friendship to tell you about it. I would never do that to you Prem. I value our relationship too much. Well, I guess her parents just decided to arrange the marriage through the family friends circle while she was away studying. Gosh, I could never do that. It seems so old fashion you know? I'd much rather date someone I'm interested in then meet a complete stranger. Just because the family elders are friends doesn't mean the kids are friends...you could still be strangers. I'd rather start off as friends...you know kind of like how we are...share your troubles and lean on each other. A good relationship starts off with friendship and then you can build from there. But I think they make a good pair...maybe they can slowly build from this. And to think Kunal actually predicted something like this...it's amazing. I wonder if Heer will end up pregnant by the end of the semester...their kids would be cute..."
Prem was having a hard time controlling his emotions as he listened to Sanjana ramble on about Heer and Prashant's relationship. He was boiling inside. He turned towards her ready to blast her when Kunal suddenly showed up interrupting the conversation. "Ah, so there you guys are," he cheerily greeted. He then secretly motioned at Prem that if he wanted to go he could. Prem coughed and then announced, "I'm going for a drive."
"Drive? Oh, where too?" Sanjana questioned and started walking after him but she didn't get very far. Kunal was holding her back. She looked back at him wondering what he was doing.
"Leave him alone," he curtly replied. Kunal had heard the entire conversation and he was angry at her. "Why did you have to say all those things to him? Do you know how hurt he is right now?"
"I was trying to cheer him up," she replied. "And why should I leave him alone. He's needs someone right now."
Kunal raised his eyebrows, "You call that cheering him up by talking about Heer and how she doesn't value her relationship with him? And talking about her and Prashant's future kids? You might as well of handed him a gasoline can so he could torch himself on fire. Yea, I'll remember the next time when I'm feeling blue...I'll call you up so you can basically insult me and my feelings."
Sanjana stared at him wondering where this angry sarcastic tone was coming from. "I was trying to tell him if she didn't value their relationship then he should just forget about her and move on with his life. She's not worth the time to be sad over," she replied. "She's nothing special."
Kunal was appalled by her behavior. This was not the Sanjana Rampel he knew. "Look, just leave him alone. He doesn't need anything for you. He's not interested."
"You're not the boss of me Kunal. And how would you know anything about his feelings? A good friend is there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. I'm trying to be his shoulder," Sanjana said.
"He doesn't need your shoulder he needs Heer's..." Kunal blurted in frustration.
"Wait-what?" she replied. "Why would he need Heer? She's the one who hurt him."
"Because he loves her," Kunal said finally giving up on holding the secret. Sanjana started at him in disbelief. He sighed and decided to spell it out for her. "Prem loves Heer and Heer loves Prem. They love each other."
"What?!" Sanjana shouted. "Then what was that back there? The engagement?"
"That was Heer's parents...choice not hers...she was pushed into," Kunal explained. "Leave them alone Sanjana. I'm warning you for your own sake to not get involved."
"Or what?" she hotly asked. She was dismayed that her own friend was threatening her like this.
"Or you'll wind up regretting it...you'll not only hurt yourself but lose two friends along the way," Kunal responded and then went back into the house.
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Heer sat on her bed hugging her knees to her chest completely shattered. The night had ended terribly for her with the engagement announcement and the disappearance of Prem. Part of her was worried about his whereabouts and wanted to desperately speak to him while the other was afraid of his reaction and anger in the possible confrontation. Her mind was in the flight or fight mode and she choose to cowardly run away. Being in the same house with him and feeling the tension was something she couldn't handle at the moment and wanted to avoid. She somehow convinced her parents that she had forgotten some important papers at the townhouse that she really needed to sort through; and that waking up early in the morning there was better than driving over the next day. Prashant dropped her off and thankfully didn't ask any probing questions. She was all alone in the house and was free to cry and sob her heart out if she wanted to. She sat there in the stillness of the dark save for the stray bit of moonlight that crept through the sheer curtains. The window by her desk was slightly cracked open allowing the fresh cool night air to circulate into the room.
Her hair was still damp from the hour long shower she took. She drowned herself in the water hoping the uneasiness and remorseful pain that was surrounding her would just go away. But it didn't; the only thing she received where pruney toes and fingers. Heer eventually came out of her vegetative state as she felt a chill go down her spine. The room was getting a little too cold. She sighed and made her way to the window to close it shut. She glanced up at the sky and was amazed at how round the moon was that night. She was instantly reminded of Prem and the first moon lit night they had shared. Back then she never would have thought that they'd would have evolved into something more; her eyes moistened at the memory and she gave a bittersweet smile. As she closed the window shut, her body froze at seeing someone in her backyard. The person was staggering across the lawn. Heer knew she should be on the phone calling the police but she found herself rooted to her spot staring. She was using the light of the moon to see who the intruder was because for some odd reason she felt like she knew him. It wasn't until she recognized the clothing he had on was a sherwani did it click for her. She quickly opened the window back up and stuck her head out. "Prem?" she called. The man raised his head and gave a sloppy half grin in recognition. "What are you doing out here?"
"Wassup!" he replied and then took a drink from a bottle he was holding in his left hand.
Heer looked at him incredulously. "Are you drunk?"
Prem frowned slightly as he shook his head childishly, "No..." and then realized he was holding a bottle of liquor in his hand. He staggered a bit and then thoughtfully retracted his answer with a goofy smile, "Yea..."
Heer's eyes drew on a new concern and she felt her chest tighten as she observed Prem in his drunken state. "Prem, please don't tell me you drove here drunk."
"No, I got a cab...it's not good to drink and drive," he sputtered as if he was giving some sort of lecture. He then made his way to the tree and patted the trunk like it was his old friend.
Heer panicked the second she saw Prem attempt to climb up the tree to her window. "What are you doing? Prem just stay there don't climb up here. I'll go and open the backdoor for you." Heer raced down the stairs and through the kitchen to the backdoor but when she stepped out onto the yard Prem had disappeared. She looked around her worried beyond belief wandering where he had gone. Then suddenly he popped his head out of her bedroom window and asked in a perplexed tone, "Hey what are you doing down there?" He then stood there fiddling with a cord that had somehow tangled around him. He yanked at the cord forcefully and a few seconds later there was sound of something breaking. "Oops...you didn't like that desk lamp did you?" he asked giggling slightly. "I think I broke it." Heer put her hand on her face completely frustrated. The fear she had of talking to him had washed away. Instead she felt annoyed that he was making her worry and causing her this much trouble. "Just stay there Prem. I'm coming up," she sighed.
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Prem sat on the floor huddled against the wall drinking. His mind was lost in thought going over the nights events. The night had started out on such a positive note; the make out session in the locked bathroom with Heer. He could still taste the sweetness of her lips, the movement of her tongue, and the smell of her perfume. The memory lingered with him in a haunting manner. Then there was that odd conversation with Teji Auntie that at the time he couldn't quite comprehend what she was trying to say to him. She had thanked him for taking care of her daughter, told him she released him of his responsibilities and then mumbled something about if circumstances had been different. It was only after the engagement announcement did he realize Teji Auntie had been trying to prepare him for what was going to happen. Her actions left so many questions; like did she know about his secret relationship with Heer or was she simply trying to stop something before it started. The night took a gigantic nose dive after the announcement. He was unbalanced and directionless; half the time in a haze and the other half emotions raging inside. The memory of seeing Prashant and Heer dancing flashed before him. He flinched and took a long chug of whiskey to drown the image away.
Heer entered her room and frowned at the broken lamp laying in pieces on her desk. She saw Prem sitting on the floor silently drinking. The sight broke her heart. "Prem..." she hesitantly spoke as she reached for the bottle in his hand, "Please, stop drinking."
Prem raised his head and moved the bottle away from her grasp. He took a swig just to spite her and clumsily got up from the floor shaking his finger at her. "You know I'm mad at you...very mad," he slurred. Heer backed away surprised by the sudden cold reaction when a few minutes ago he was giddily greeting her. "You want to know why I'm drinking? Why I won't stop?" he asked. Prem pounded the left side of his chest with his fist, "Because it hurts right here. It hurts. You hurt me." He took another drink. Prem had gotten use to the burning sensation the malted beverage left behind in his throat; it was natural almost comforting to him now.
Heer swallowed uncomfortably at his state. "Prem, I had no choice. Please try and understand..."
"Understand?!" Prem shouted. "Understand...I've understand a lot...I gave you plenty of time...and now? Right there on the stage one simple word...all it took was one word and you couldn't even do that much for me?!"
"I wanted to..." she said her voice quivering.
Prem shook his head, "But you didn't, did you? You approved...you stood there and said Yes! To Prashant..."
"Because I had to," Heer replied meekly.
"Had to?" he said angrily.
"Yes, I had to. Everyone was staring at me...my father was expecting it from me. Why can't you try to understand...what I'm going through," Heer yelled. "You think this is easy for me? That I want to do this?"
"This is what I didn't want to happen," Prem replied. "For everyone to publicly know..." Heer looked on slightly terrified as he marched towards her. "He's your fiance now. He's going to exercise all rights on you. He's going to hold your hand, hold you in his arms, kiss you, touch you..." he fiercely snapped holding Heer's upper arms forcefully; the smell of alcohol so pungent on his breath it was difficult for Heer to breathe. She was pinned against the wall; her eyes lowered afraid to look at him. Then ever so softly Prem's anger subsided, "...he's going to make love to you...you're going to have kids together...and share your hopes and dreams together..." he said his voice filled with great pain and sorrow. "...and I'll have nothing...because I don't have you...because you don't love me...you don't love me..." Heer raised her head at his last words; tears silently streaming down her face. "No Prem," she replied and gently cupped his wet face. "I love you. I don't care about Prashant. I only want you. I love you Prem. I love you and only you," she said as she wiped away his tears. "I only want to be with you." They both slowly fell to the ground holding each other. "I can't live without you..." he whimpered. Heer held him in her arms and tried taking the Johnnie Walker whiskey bottle away from him. Prem suddenly jerked and moved away. Heer was completely baffled by his behavior. He shook his head and ruefully grinned, "You're just my imagination."
"Prem?" Heer said extremely concerned. His drunken behavior had gone from happiness, anger, sadness, and now disbelief. Prem took a drink from his bottle and laughed, "I'm not going to get tricked...no..." he replied. "Prem, give me the bottle," Heer ordered. She had enough of the rollercoaster ride for one night. She tried grabbing for it but Prem's reflexes were still faster despite being drunk. Prem stumbled a bit and then cupped his mouth unexpectedly. Heer grimaced the minute she heard him throw up in her bathroom. The sound of sloshing liquid echoed around the room. She went in to check on him and nearly fainted from the smell. Prem heaved into the toilet bowl hugging the sides as if it was his only life line. Heer went to her closet to get some clean towels to clean up some of the mess he had made. She took a deep breath before going back into the bathroom to clean. She knew if she smelled anymore of the vomit she would be throwing up herself. Prem continued to hug the porcelain commode; lurching his body forward making the most dreadful noises. Heer frowned at his state and then took the dirty towels downstairs to the laundry room to get them quickly cleaned.
When Heer returned to her room she found Prem passed out on the floor of the bathroom cold to the world. Heer sighed as she saw the vomit stains on his sherwani and the dribble at the corner of his mouth. She took a clean face cloth and dabbed a little warm water to it before wiping his mouth. She knew the hardest part was going to be removing his sherwani but she knew she had to. It was already badly stained and she had a feeling that Prem would be waking up to vomit the rest of the night. After the amount of liquor he had consumed it was inevitable. Heer managed to remove it from his body even though he was completely out. She took the jacket which smelled awful and placed it in the laundry room. She poured the rest of the Johnnie Walker whiskey down the drain. Heer didn't care how expensive it was. She wasn't going to let Prem drink another sip of it. By the time Heer finished cleaning and arranging Prem's makeshift bed on the floor of her bathroom it was nearly four o'clock in the morning. She was exhausted. She hazily crawled into her bed and closed her eyes to sleep; oddly though she felt wet droplets gathering at the corner of her eyes. Her mind couldn't let go of the things Prem had said. The pain that he was feeling was because of her and it was killing her inside. She had hurt him and it was hurting her. Heer clutched the second pillow to her and softly cried herself to sleep.
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Pre-Cap:
Chapter 41: Beautiful Hangover
That's all I'm going to say about the next chapter.
Sorry guys but see you Wednesday!
I got tons of HW to do for my Grad Classes
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Comments! Comments! Comments!
---Grace 😃
Edited by iheartChai - 14 years ago
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