Dutta's problem: Learning to deal with Rejection

Aap sab shaant hojaiye! Please maintain peace!

Once again I'm in absolute agreement with you.

What a jodi Bappa has made. She cries out of fear of rejection and he erupts like a volcano at the slightest indication of rejection -- remember she did not technically say 'no'.

She ran away, overwhelmed by her own guilt. For him he was left speechless, stung by her actions. The public 'rejection' was a huge blow to his ego, his confidence was on an all time high after his aplha male display in beating Baaji. He was so sure she would be euphoric upon hearing him earnestly asking for her hand in marriage. The reality was a shock to say the least.

Thankfully, he did not allow third parties (read evil trio) to come and instigate him further. His mind was already spiralling down into that dark place so the last thing he needed was Kala saying 'I told you so'.

However, it is unsettling how he always reverts to dangerous methods to release his anger. Violence is therapeutic for him. The way he was playing with the knife against his wrist was disturbing too. I fear for him when the truth of his sisters comes out as he gets very self-destructive but now I'm the one presuming things so I'll wait and watch.

lovely post and well said...

I respectfully disagree with just one of your points, or rather would rather like to add to it.

Dutta's inability to handle rejection is off the mark. This is NOT about that. It is all about Naku's confusion, anguish, and at times stupidity.
She is her mother's daughter after all.

Yes, Dutta does not know how to handle rejection. And how many people DO know how to handle it well? We give Naku carte blanche, saying poor thing, she grew up poor, beautiful in a dangerous, deprived world where beautiful women were exploited and abused. We say of course she has an inferiority complex, look at her upbringing.

But let's give carte blanche to someone who deserves it more, at least in my opinion. Dutta. Dutta is emotionally weaker in some respects than Naku. He was NOT loved per se, he was manipulated/betrayed, and of course anger is the result. Anger is a by-product of being hurt and rejected. And when there is nothing else to offset it in your life, like love, then it does not go away. It gets worse. The guy shut himself off from the world because of his fear of being hurt and unloved. Naku was shut off from the world by her idiot mother Babi, but Naku had a sense, an understanding of the world.
Dutta did not want to be a part of it.

I agree with on how sad it is that he was holding that knife. It broke my heart. He wanted to hurt himself physically, like he hurt emotionally. Do you think you'd ever see Naku at that sad state?

I'm sorry, I do understand Naku's anguish. But I hate her for her actions today...if she does not understand that her leaving him would hurt him far worse than her true face, then she really is an idiot. It's all about her own fears...not Dutta.

NOFM and pardesii...love both ur posts...always make it a point to read them.

it is not just plain rejection tat Dutta is facing..all the times till now it was just kind of unexpected rejection...be it in case of Seema, Supriya...or even Nakku...!!!! and in case of Nakku..he must have not even thought of it in his wildest dreams that Nakku would do this to him...coz he was 100% sure tat Nakku had been waiting for his acceptance..!!! :(...and his reaction to all this is quite acceptable...

and abt shooing the trio out of the room...!!!!! it was like a dream come true for me..Dutta's this reaction to his sisters..tat too towards Kala...???!!!! bt still...i was feeling very BAD for Dutta...! 😔 😔 😭

Originally posted by: nightoffullmoon

Aap sab shaant hojaiye! Please maintain peace!

But I really had to controll myself from climbing into the TV set and slapping Babi and Nakku.

Nakku is saying, he will forget the hurt she has caused in a couple of days!! But he will not be able to deal with the betrayal!!

So, it seems okay to her let him suffer with her irrational behaviour - a 360 degree - turn from all that "mein aapse bahut pyaar karti hun....."

How presumptious! She is doing it again! Presuming what will happen to him and using it to justify her actions.

Really, what a pathetic excuse for your own lack of courage to speak the truth and risk rejection yourself, Nakku.

After watching Dutta's reaction, which I somehow had a premonition that he would react like that, I have concluded: Dutta's problem all these years is not Betrayal of Trust. He is a don and deals with it everyday. Because much of his successes against his rivals cannot have happened without someone betraying the rival party and becoming his informer.

The real problem is Dutta cannot deal with Rejection.

His reaction to Rejection is dissproportinately high levels of anger, which is often misdirected.

That is what made him vengeful and turn into a Bhau in the first place.

He looked at Sups all smitten by her. Following her with his eyes. I remember Aayi telling Nakku, when she saw her son looking at Sups at a friend's wedding, she knew she had to get her as his bride.

When Sups was acting strangely, he reacted angrily. Remember he smashed things in her room in her presence when she kept quiet despite his repeated questions on whether she really wants their relationship.

Now, he has brought out the knives (quite literally) and is playing darts.

Lot of Anger. The Samunder (Dutta) is not Shaant (peacful) and will never be, if someone refuses to throw the Nariyal (love) that he so desperately wants to be thrown.

He wants to be loved and love, but never rejected.

The day Dutta learns to deal with Rejection, he will learn to forgive himself and others, over come his anger, and deal with his past.

When Seema rejected him, he went on a rampage, killing.

When Supriya rejected him (by running away and with that letter), he went on a rampage again, ready to kill Nakku. The Killing continued, because Anna came into the picture, becoming the target for his unspent anger.

Now that Nakku is rejecting him, he is angry again. Luckily, this time the knives are aimed at the Dartboard.

But I loved the way he dismissed his Sisters.😆😆😆 When they entered, I said, Dutta just tell them to p#ss off. And he did just that 😆😆

Earlier some of the bystanders who became victims of his rampage were innocent, but today, I see him take it out on his Sisters 😆😆 I am loving it!

Nakku ka Dard comes out in tears, but Dutta ka Dard comes out in the form of Gussa (anger).

Wow, Nakku, if you were so wise in making that observation, WTH are you keeping quiet?

You are, like all of us, underestimating the power of human resilience in dealing with truths. Your karma is to speak the truth and be true to the truth, not presume things about other's ability to deal with the truth.

Nakku your moment of truth: You cannot deal with rejection. That's why you are afraid of telling him the truth.

Well, Bappa help you both. I getting really testy now😆

I respectfully disagree with just one of your points, or rather would rather like to add to it.

Dutta's inability to handle rejection is off the mark. This is NOT about that. It is all about Naku's confusion, anguish, and at times stupidity.
She is her mother's daughter after all.

Yes, Dutta does not know how to handle rejection. And how many people DO know how to handle it well? We give Naku carte blanche, saying poor thing, she grew up poor, beautiful in a dangerous, deprived world where beautiful women were exploited and abused. We say of course she has an inferiority complex, look at her upbringing.

But let's give carte blanche to someone who deserves it more, at least in my opinion. Dutta. Dutta is emotionally weaker in some respects than Naku. He was NOT loved per se, he was manipulated/betrayed, and of course anger is the result. Anger is a by-product of being hurt and rejected. And when there is nothing else to offset it in your life, like love, then it does not go away. It gets worse. The guy shut himself off from the world because of his fear of being hurt and unloved. Naku was shut off from the world by her idiot mother Babi, but Naku had a sense, an understanding of the world.
Dutta did not want to be a part of it.

I agree with on how sad it is that he was holding that knife. It broke my heart. He wanted to hurt himself physically, like he hurt emotionally. Do you think you'd ever see Naku at that sad state? Only once, when she hurt her hands by banging them against the wall. But that was out of guilt - Maine Saab par Goli chalayi.

"I'm sorry, I do understand Naku's anguish. But I hate her for her actions today...if she does not understand that her leaving him would hurt him far worse than her true face, then she really is an idiot. It's all about her own fears...not Dutta."

Originally posted by: mozart66

PERFECT ANALYSIS!!!!!!! SUPERB! DO YOU STUDY PSYCHOLOGY?!!! GOOD WORK!

Originally posted by: Yuvika_15

lovely post and well said...

i agree he needs to learn to deal with rejection and but most importantly to control that anger. but mayb wen he gets naku she will try calming him down a bit... he needs tht one special person tht wil hav a positive impact on him and thts naku for sure... we hav seen already hw much he is distracted by her... and hw she has had a positive impact on him..i mean this is the same dutta tht didnt believe in God, but today he showed immense faith that Bappa wud b by his side n let him win in all circumstances... what a change naku has bought in him.... m sure tht once things r sorted she wil help him control that anger of his...

u r rite..naku has always been the soothing balm he needed in his life..no wonder he began opening up again after 10 yrs only when she came into his life..naku has to realise this, realise her importance in his life because somewhere down the line i feel she still doubts she has any meaning in his life...