Part-180
R: (while feeding aarish) armaan.. (armaan looked him) parso bi ka sharaad hai, panditji ko bulana hai, yaad rakhna… (armaan suddenly saddens when remembered his bi, riddhima knew how he must be feeling, bi's like a mother to armaan infact she's his mother and losing her broke armaan badly as she's the only one from his side, he always feels secures that there's someone elder sitting,
whether she stays with him or not but she's there and whenever he'll be wrong than she'll correct him and show him path like a true mother, it has been 3 years since Bi died due to sudden heart attack and when armaan got this news he's totally shocked unable to move even a bit from his position, he didn't believe that news and thought that it's a joke,
somehow riddhima handled him and they both quickly rushed to kasaulli, armaan found difficult to face bi's dead body, so he remained outside and riddhima dragged him in and asked him to fulfill all the responsibilities that a son should do at that time, armaan shaked his head and cried hugging her, riddhima too cried with him and
said "armaan hume ye to karna hi hai, yaad hai bi kehti thi ki mera ammy sher hai, sher nahi babbar sher hai, to aaj bi ke wohi sher ban jao aur saari responsibilities dil se puri karo, bi ki aakhri khwaish thi kitum hi unka…… bi ke liye hi par sambhal lo khud ko, tum bhi jaante ho ache se ki maut ke aage koi sir nahi utha sakta,
uss se koi question nahi puch sakta, maut hai hi aisa answer jiske aage koi khada hokar sawaal nahi khada kar sakta aur jindagi hai hi aisa question jiska koi answer nahi de sakta, jo cheez hamare haath mai hi nahi hai uske liye kyu ladna armaan, Bi hamesha hamare saath rahegi, hamari yado mai, hamare Dillon mai, aise rokar unka jaana mushkil mat karo armaan, unhe dukh hoga apne bache ko itni takleef mai dekhkar",
armaan didn't understand her words as he's in pain, but fulfill all the rights that a son must do, slowly slowly he started understanding riddhima's words and released her from his grief and reminded the best moments he spent with her and kept on telling riddhima about her, riddhima patiently listens to him and one day he's finally out from bad memories,
in his heart Bi's always there, he always misses her on every happy occasion but with a smile and wishes her that where ever she's, she'll remain happy there and today her sharaad obviously opened his past book in front of him, riddhima placed aarish on bed and moved to him, placed her hand on his shoulder and armaan turned and hugged her from her waist)
A: mai sad nahi hun, mai apni Bi ko kabhi pareshan nahi dekh sakta, but I'm missing her, I wish wo jahan bhi ho bahuttt khush ho, par wo yaad rahein ki unka beta bhi hai jo unhe yaad karta hai..(riddhima caressed him and kisses on his head)
R: wo apne itne pyaare aur shaitan bte ko bhul bhi nahi sakti..(armaan smiled)
A: mai panditji ko kehlwa dunga don't worry, 1st October haina uss din, subah 11 baje ka time de dein, tum half day leave le sakti hona?? (riddhima nodded)
R: challo ab mai hospital jaati hun, rishu ka dhyan rakhna, sham ko milti hun.. (armaan didn't react and turned his back, he's still punishing himself for aarish's accident, riddhima pained a bit and decided that today she'll surely do something, thinking so she left)
In hospitalshe kept on wondering what she should do and finally she got idea, she called atul and asked him to call the nurse who's at their house and ask her to come in hospital immediately , atul asked why, riddhim just smiled a bit and said "jaldi pata chal jayega" and thought "so mr. supercool malik, bas khud ko bahut saja de di aur hamare bte ko bhi, now its time to take your baby in your arms",
in between atul called that nurse who's opening bandaids of aarish, she picked up phone and goes out, in between aarish out of pain hit his arm in cot and cried more loudly, armaan who's in other room dropped his book that he's reading and procceded towards aarish room with thumping heart against his chest and saw blood coming out from his angel's arm, he quickly rushed to him and picked him up in his arms after a week as that time only aarish's the only thing he could see..
A: caressing his back) bass baby, basss… bass abhi hum blood clean kar dete hai… (he applied some tube on his arm, aarish quietened a bit, armaan for the first time saw his arm clearly and his heart stopped for a minute, again tears rolled down from his eyes seeing the cruelty of fire on his baby's arm, his skin's damaged, he with shivered hand was on the verge of applying ointment but dropped and mumbled) mujhse nahi hoga
he detangled his finger from aarish's grip and moved aside, aarish again started crying loudly first kept on screaming "daaddaadaaaa" and suddenly mumbled "dadda" in babyish voice, armaan quickly turned and rushed to him and picked him up in his arms and showered him with kisses, lots of kisses, and then he hugged him tightly,
his eyes were dropping tears in continuation, he mumbled in his ears "I can't, mai tumse dur nahi reh sakta aur jo chahe saja dedo mujhe, tumhe itna dukh dene ke liye par, khud se dur rehne ki saja mat dena, 1-1 second mai jeekar bhi mara hun, tumhe chune ke liye tarsa hun, tumhe inn baahon mai uthane ke liye kitni hi baar haath bhadaye par har baar mere haath ruk jaate,
ye sochkar ki kahi phir tumhe takleef na de dun, par ab nahi.. tumse dur rehne ki saja mai nahi bhugat sakta, iss se badiya meri jaan challi jaaye par tumse dur nahi", he again kissed him like mads, aarish kept on calling him "dadda.. dadda" and armaan kept on flying high high and very high, he did his dressing and played with him, again aarish forgot his pain,
this time armaan did his dressing in such a way that he won't feel pain anymore and this time he didn't have sleeping pills as he played with his dadda a lot and after having his bottle he slept, armaan kept on caressing him all the time, "dadda" kept on roaming in his mind and he kept on smiling, he thought to wake up aarish and kept on hearing this word all the time from his mouth
but somehow controlled his feelings, but not for a single minute he kept aarish on bed, he kept on kissing him, and whenever remembered that fire scene, he hugs aarish like a small kid and didn't want his toy to get sperated from himself, again aarish woke up and called him "da dda daa ddaa" armaan said "daa nahi dadda hi bolo"
but aarish didn't understand, armaan gave up after so many trials and was on the verge of moving out for aarish bottle, but aarish called him "dadda" and he again stopped and turned, aarish with one arm's calling him, armaan smiled and picked him up and aarish played with his hair and then sucked
his head as if kissing him,
armaan kept on smiling seeing his lil antics and aarish kept on calling him dadda or daa.. armaan mumbled "meri ek confusion dur karoge?? Mujhe lagta tha ki aapki mumma ke muh se I Love You sun ne jayda aur kuch melodious ho hi nahi sakta, par aaj aisa kyu lag raha hai jaise life ka sabse melodious word discover hua hai, mujhe nahi pata tha ki itna acha lagega jab mai aapke muh se dadda sunuga..
aarish smiled and tapped on his face and again kisses him, "daa daaa daaa" kept on mumbling, armaan asked him to sit, he'll be back with his bottle and as soon as he turned aarish again called him "dadda", armaan chuckled and mumbled "ohh shaitaan Bandar, chalako massad, mujhe blackmail karne ka naya tareeka nikala hai, ki mai hamesha tere paas rahun.." he again picked him up and mumbled "itna pyar karta hai apne daeda se, kyu itna pyar karta hai, maine tujhe kitna dukh diya hai", in return aarish moved his lil arm around his neck, armaan hugged him and turned with him only to find riddhima standing with her hands on her hips..
R: ye sab kya ho raha hai?? (with raised eyebrows) mere saamne to isse dekhte bhi nahi aur mere piche se itna laad kar rahe ho…
A: (looking like a thief who has been caught steeling) to kya hua, mera beta hai, pyar karna hak hai mera, tumse pucke thodi na pyar karunga…
R: ohh really… tumhara beta hai janam tumne diya hai usse???
A: challo hamara beta hai.. par pyar to wo mujhse hi karta hai, usne aaj mujhe dadda kaha.. (he said her teasingly, riddhima's shocked)
R: what???
A: muh band kar lo, itne bada khologi to aeroplane bhi aaram se land kar jayega tumhare muh mai..
R: I can't believe it, tumhe bas mauka chahiye tha rishu ko pyar karne ka that's it, wo dadda bol hi nahi sakta..
A: achaa, mujhse bet laga rahi ho, haar jaogi misses basket, abhi tumhare saamne rishu mujhe dadda bolega, haina betu..(he asked aarish to call him dadda, but he kept on playing and mumbling "daa daa daa", riddhima looked him teasingly,armaan placed aarish on bed and turned, aarish again called him "dadda.. dadda", armaan smiled and picked him up and looked at riddhima and did slight cuchi kuing on her face) maja aaya??
R: (straightening her expressions) haan to kya hua, dadda hi bola hai koi pahad to nahi toda, har bacha bolta hai ye koi anokha thodi hai.. (he looked at aarish)
A: baby mujhe aisa kyu lagta hai ki kuch jalne ki buu aa rahi hai, kahi raju gas par khaana rakh ke bhul to nahi gaya.. (riddhima made her hands like bhoot and hit her feet tightly on ground and goes out, armaan smiled and followed her)
R: mere piche kyu aa rahe ho, raho na apni jaan-e-bahar ke saath, karo ussi se pyar, mai to tum dono ke beech mai kabab mai haddi hun na..(aarish chuckled a bit and so as armaan, riddhima angrily moved to them and looking at aarish) tumhe badi hassi aa rahi hai, aaya bad dadda ka chamcha, mumma to bhad mai gayi na, aaj tak mum to theek se bola nahi gaya aur daeda ko dadda bulana shuru bhi kar diya, itni partiality, aaj ke baad..
A: (cutting her) mumma doodh ki dhamki mat dena, ab mai big boy ho gaya hun, bottle se dudh peeta hun..(riddhima imitated him and made a face and goes out from kitchen and throught out the time she kept on burning like a coal and armaan kept on smiling and teasing her more, and while having dinner armaan's lost in aarish antics and riddhima kept on admiring them)
When nurse's on phone, she told atul that she'll come after doing aarish's dressing and heard aarish crying and rushed in and from outside the room mumbled " dr. atul aarish ki arm se blood aa raha hai", atul said "what" and seeing his expressions riddhima pulled the phone from him and nurse told her that armaan's there in room, I'll do his dressing and com, but riddhima stopped her "sister let armaan handle aarish", and nurse mumbled "but mam he's bleeding",
riddhima's heart sank and moved towards door thought to go home but stopped and thought "let them be together, armaan usse sambhal lega, agar mai gayi, armaan phir rishu se dur bhaagne ki koshish karega", so she ordred nurse to leave immediately and somehow she herself worked in hospital but all the time kept on wondering about aarish, so she came lil early too but when heard giggles at door, she got happy and moved in and kept on looking them for 15 minutes till armaan turned back..
she's happy, trio slept peacefully, though armaan kept on checking if aarish's comfortable and kept on asking riddhima in between dhaanu ne mujhe bulaya kya, abhi usne phir dadda bola mujhe, riddhima in sleep hit her head and mumbled " armaan tumhe treatment ki jarurat hai, armaan kept his head on her chest and mumbled "haan hai to, par tumhare",
riddhima in sleep smiled and hugged him tightly, armaan kisses on her forehead, riddhima opened her eyes and mumbled "kitni ajeeb baat hai na armaan, tumhare saath se hi har bade se bada dukh chotta lagne lagta hai, tumhare saath se hi inn painful days mai hum muskura sakte hai.." armaan smiled and said "hamare saath se jaan", riddhima nodded and turned to aarish and caressed his injured arm, then kisses it..
Next day riddhima kept on collecting things for bi's sharad like this their day's over and other day riddhima woke up early and after taking bath she got ready and kisses on her loves forehead and on the verge of getting up when heard her pager beep, she checked it and foud out its emergency..
A: (woke up with pager beep and saw her tensed face) kya hua??
R: hospital se page aaya hai, its emergency..
A: to???
R: maine kal dr. keerti ko bataya tha ki mai nahi aa paungi, don't know ki unhone mujhe phir kyu page kiya??
A: riddhima its must be important, I think you should go..
R: par armaan mai kaise jaa sakti hun, mujhe pooja ke liye bhi prepare karna hai, phir panditji ke liye khaana banana hai, 11 baje sab aa jayenge, mai hospital kaise jaa sakti hun..
A: don't worry riddhima, mai panditji ko kehlwa deta hu ki thoda late aayein, tum hospital jao aur mujhe pahunchkar batao ki kitna time lagega waha par, phir uske according paditji ko time dete hai…(riddhima looked him with unsurity) its perfectly fine, jaoo jaldi aur jaldi aao.(riddhima finally nodded and left for hospital with little heart and in hospital she came to know that ankit paged her as one patient's sinking
and she needs to be operated, riddhima told him but I's on leave today, ankit apologized saying he's not known about it, riddhima nodded and said its ok and she called armaan and told him that it'll take 3 hours in hospital, armaan said ok and called panditji who said ok with difficulty as he's booked for someone's else house too)
riddhima after operation quickly rushed in locker room, her interns stopped her to aske about aarish but she said she'll talk later on as she's to rush home immediately, as soon as she entered in lift, her pager again beeped, and riddhima with frustration mumbled not again and checked her pager which's showing it's emergency and asked her to come in basement.. riddhima thought basement mai kya emergency ho sakti hai, abhi to wo under construction hai, but anyways she thought to go,
she took her purse and thought to leave from there only, in elevator armaan called him but before she could pick it up, all the signals went off as she reached in basement, she checked whole basement and mumbled "uff, mujhe late ho raha hai aur koi mil bhi nahi raha, mai jaati hun, armaan must be waiting panditji aane waale honge" thinking so she turned but stopped when felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned and found one guy.. riddhima looked lil scared as found that face covered with mask, but gaining lil confidence..
R: ji bhaisahab aapko kuch kaam hai???
Man: hume to bas itna kehna tha ki aapko jaane ki itni jaldi kya hai riddhimaji, kuch waqt hamare saath bhi bitaiye, saara din bore nahi ho jaati apne apahij pati aur mareejo ko dekhte dekhte, challiye hum aapki jindagi se kuch boriyat dur karte hai, aakhir hamara bhi to farj banta hai kuch aapke liye, kya haina hum kissi ki jindagi yun gissadte hue nahi dekh sakte..(saying so he touched her face) waise gajab ka shareer paya hai aapne, agar maang se sindoor hatta dein to abhi bhi 20 saal ki lagengi…(riddhima's feeling nausetic , she started quivering by now)
R: dekhiye bhaisahab aap apni had ko paar karne ki koshish mat kariye warna acha nahi hoga…
Man: haaye aapki dhamki se bhi hume pyar ho gaya hai jaanemann, aur ye
kya bhaisahab bhaisahab laga rakha hai, bhaisahab kehkar hume gaali na do jaan..
riddhima's hell shocked and without saying she turned and on the verge of running, when he holds her saree pallu and dropped it with jerk,such that her saree pallu fell from her shoulder on ground and he pulled her closer with her saree, riddhima lost her senses out of shock and then covered herself with her hands and moved forward and with one hand again brought her pallu back to her shoulder and tried to run, her voice's as if struck in her throat or as if she couldn't speak, he again holds her hand, riddhima this time turned with anger and tried to hit him but..
Man: no baby ye haath maarene ke liye nahi pyar karne ke liye hai… (riddhima's heart was as if coming out from her body, she's fearing badly, she again tried to run but his grip around her hand was more than tight, riddhima bites on his hand when get no solution and rushed but before she could open elevator, 2 men came in front of her, they're without mask, and holds riddhima's hands, riddhima by now out of fear started crying and said "please mujhe jaane do, please", in between that mask man came and slapped on riddhima's face tightly and holds her hair, riddhima winced..
Man: tujhe 1 baar mai samajh nahi aata, hamesha mujhse dur kyu bhaagti hai, maine kaha na ki thoda time mere saath reh.. (he moved more close to her, riddhima moved back and tried to get free) isse baandh do rassi se, aise nahi maanegi…
On other side, armaan kept on trying riddhima's number but it always come out of reach, his heart's beating lil fast don't know why but he's feeling quiet restless, he again called riddhima and next he called at hospital from where he's told that dr. riddhima may be had left but they're not sure, armaan kept phone down and kept on trying riddhima's number then realized only 15 minutes left for panditji to come,
he panicked as if panditji came and nothing got ready then it'll be a insult for panditji, he cleared sweat drops and called ritu and asked what should be done on sharaad and then called raju and asked him to prepare everything soon as there's 1 hour pooja then panditji'll have lunch,
he did all preparations slowly slowly, kept on wondering where riddhima's then thought that she'll join them in pooja, he made aarish ready carefully, panditji came and pooja started but riddhima didn't show up, armaan's not able to concentrate on pooja, his eyes were struck at door, don't know why but he's feeling lil restless, his every heartbeat kept on mumbling riddhima's name…
riddhima begged them and asked them "please mujhe chod do, please, mujhpar daya karo" and all men smiled shamelessly and mumbled "what is daya baby???" and moved his hand on her face, riddhima turned her face to other side, tears kept on flowing from her eyes and her heart beats kept on calling armaan's name, in between mask man moved her saree pallu down, and riddhima cried and screamed loudly "nahiiiiiiiiiiii" trying hard to release her hand,
with in a second her saree's opened, and all laughed, one man said "wahh kya husn paya hai" and then mask man said "abhi to dekha hi kya hai, tum to itne mai hi khush ho gaye, baad mai kahi behosh hi na ho jao", when mask man came close to riddhima she screamed "aage mat bhadna", but he kept on moving close, riddhima spitted on his face and mask man in anger tore her blouse sleeves,
riddhima kept on struggling for her hands and from her eyes streams were flowing down, mask man moved more close to her and slightly caressed her arm, riddhima closed her eyes tightly and her teeth were tightly clutched, he moved his face close to her neck and was on the verge of kissing her when riddhima loudly screamed "armaannn" and hit her leg tightly in between his legs..mask man got up with anger and rushed to her, riddhima's horrified and he called armaan for help..
on other side armaan suddenly moved back dropping all the flowers and fruits down, panditji got shocked and asked "what happened???", armaan could only mumble "riddhima…. Riddhima" but looked at panditji and shaked his head, panditji asked him to concentrate on pooja else pooja won't be complete, armaan said "pata nahi kyu itna bechani ho rahi hai, riddhima kabhi late nahi hoti, may be emergency ho, par mujhe aaj tak uske jaane se kabhi itni bechaini nahi hoti, phir aaj kyu… wo theek to hogi na..",
he looked at their marriage photo on wall and mumbled " tumhara har dukh mujhpar aa jaye riddhima, bas tum hamesha theek raho, jaha bhi hobas muskurati raho, tumhare hisse ka har gam mujhe mil jaye, bi meri riddhima ki raksha karna, hey bhagwan meri jaan ki raksha karna, hawa tum bhi dhyan rakhna meri riddhima ko koi bhi gam chu na paaye, aur agar chunne lage to wahi jalkar raakh ho jaaye…"
he kept on looking at riddhima's photo and unknown to himself mumbled "shayad ab mai tumhara har jagah saya nahi ban paunga, shayad har dukh se nahi bacha paunga, I wish uss waqt hamara pyar tumhare saamne aakar khada ho jaaye aur tumhe har dukh se bacha le, tum ho aur tumhare aage hamare pyar ki deewar jisse koi na paar kar paye, koi bhi nahi, hamara pyar tumhe har jagah sambhal le.." and came in present and wondered what he said but didn't remember…
on other side, riddhima's hair's clutched tightly by that mask man and he slowly slowly's proceeding towards her lips, it's hardly 3 inch gap and riddhima kept on mumbling "armaan's name", after 15 minutes she realized that nothing's happening, she with fear opened her eyes and was surprised that there's no one in front of her, her hair's released long back, before she could understand anything she heard some "dhi-shum-2" voice
and she looked up, one unknown man was fighting with that mask man and other 2 men, mask man rushed where as that man kept on hitting the other 2, and when they fell down, that man came to riddhima who's totally wet with sweat and he released her hands without looking at her, from her eyes tears kept on flowing, her lips was not able to speak a word, and when her hands were released she fell down totally broken on her knees
and cried badly with screams, and said "whyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee always……." That man kindly looked at her and on the verge of placing his hand when riddhima hides herself in herself, she's not having guts to get up and pick her saree up, man took out his jacket and placed it on riddhima's shoulder and kindly mumbled "mai basement ke bahar hun.. aap.. aap saree",
he wasn't able to complete as he himself was feeling too embarrassed to say anything, so he just picked her saree and with lowered eyes gave it to riddhima, as soon as he turned riddhima moved her hands in her hair and clutched it tightly and cried badly very badly and then placed her head on ground, and after sometime when heard some footsteps, she quickly got up and covered herself with saree, her blouse's torn completely from her sleeves, so she wore that jacket too and moved out slowly-2 still in a daze..
that man was still waiting for her outside the basement and when saw her, he rushed to her and caressed her head, riddhima again with fear and horror looked him and little moved back, that man as if understood her fear, so he lil smiled uncomfortably..
Man: ghabraiye nahi, mujhe apna bhai samajhiye, mera naam ranjeet hai aur mai architect hun, yaha basement ka contract mujhe mila hai, socha tha aaj jaakar dekhta hun kya aur kitne ache se aur kaam ho sakta hai par jaise hi andar ghussa to mujhe kuch cheekhein sunai di, waha pahuncha to…. Anyways.. kya aap jaanti thi unn logo ko??? (riddhima shaked her head..) shayad pehle kabhi kahin mili ho…
(riddhima shaked her head again, she's still trembling like hell, wants to say thankyou to ranjeet but was not able to as words didn't came out from her throat, her voice was jammed completely) aaiye mai aapko chod deta hun..(riddhima shaked her head) dekhiye jidd mat kariye, mai aapko chod dunga.. (riddhima looked him, her lips were opened as if wanna speak something but again words didn't come)
no need to say thanks (understanding her) mujhe aap mai ek bahen najar aayi aur bahen ki raksha karna bhai ka farz hota hai aur thanks karke iss rishte ko bemayne mat kariye…chaliye mai aapko ghar chod deta hun… (riddhima sobbed badly, he placed his hand on her arm, riddhima placed her hand on his hand and again tears rolled down, ranjeet cleared her tears and asked her to sit in car, riddhima settled down in car, as soon as they're out of basement, riddhima received call from armaan, riddhima placed her hand on her mouth with shock,with fear, with pain and again tears dropped from her eyes and she placed her cell on phone..
A: kaha ho jaan?? Hum tumhara kab se wait kar rahe hai, tumhara cell bhi nahi mil raha tha, kitni fikar ho rahi thi, tumne subah se kuch khaya bhi nahi hoga, koi emergency thi kya?? Aur dekho kuch khaa lena, yaha shraad ka humne sambhal liya hai sab, panditji waise keh rahe the ki patni ki khaana khilaati hai, par tum nahi thi to humne unhe khaana khilla diya aur wo bahut khush khush gaye hai, riddhima tum kuch bol kyu nahi rahi?? Sab theek to hai na, pata ahi kuch daer pehle bahut bechaini ho rahi thi, aisa lag raha tha kitum mujhe bula rahi ho, par ab theek hai, ab tumse baat ho gayi na..
R: armaan wo…. (in craky voice)
A: riddhima tum theek to ho, tum itna dari hui kyu ho?? Sab theek haina?? Kissi ne kuch kaha kya?? Tumhari aawaj itni dhilli dhili kyu sound kar rahi hai??
R: armaan mai baad mai baat karti hun, mujhe koi bula raha hai..(she cut the call immediately and hit her head on seat tightly and cried silently, she asked ranjeet to stop the car immediately, he looked her but stoped the car, riddhima got down from car, and before ranjeet could step down) nahi please ab aap jaiye, mai theek hun, thanku shabd chotta hoga apko kehne ke liye, phir bhi thanku… please ab aap jaiye…(and before he could react, riddhima ran from there, ranjeet left thinking may be time will heal her..)
Riddhima reached near sea shore and settled down on ground and reminded all the incident that took place with her, she again closed her eyes, she felt as if her heart started hating her body all of a sudden, as if they're enemies, for the first time she hated her body like this from past 6 years coz in last 6 years she always feels proud whenever armaan's gaze fell on her, whenever his intense gaze caresses her whole body,
she feels proud and shy as if this body's made for him only, whenever he touches her she feels that she's beautiful but today everything got changed, she felt as if she's the most ugly girl, someone else touched her, whyyy??whyyy??? she looked at sky, kitna khush thi mai bas armaan ki bankar, sirf uske touch se hi meri ruh ko sukoon mil jaata tha, saari duniya ek taraf ho jaati thi, phir ye sab kyu??? Kyu mujhe uss se dur kiya bhagwan, kis galti ki saja di aapne mujhe???
Ye shareer iss se mujhe ghinn ho rahi hai, nafrat aa rahi hai, meri aatma ka dam ghut raha hai iss shareer mai rehkar, aisa lag raha hai jaise kissi ne mujhe gandgi bhare khichad mai phenk diya ho, jisse mai jindagi bhar nahi saaf kar paungi, kya mila aapko ye sab karke??? Bas ek hi to wish thi ki mai hamesha armaan ki bankar jiyu aur usi ki bankar mar jaun to aaj kyu kissi paraye insaan ko mujhpar haath daalne diya, kyuuuuuuuuuuuuu???? She cried, again her cell beeped with armaan's name flashing, she switched her cell off….
She kept on sitting there, looking at sea, it's evening, suddenly one image appeared next to her and called "riddhima", she looked at her side and found her image sitting next to her who's throwing stones in water.. image asked "so tumne kya socha hai, armaan ko aaj ke baare mai bataogi??? Usse bataogi ki aaj tumhare saath kya hua???", before riddhima vould say anything,
image said "soch samajh kar bolna ridhima, aage ke consequences sochkar bolna, kya jab tum armaan ko sab bataogi wo iss baat ko bhul paayega kabhi??? Abhi tak wo aarish ke accident ke liye hi khud ko maaf nahi kar paya hai, kya wo khud ko iss baat ke liye blame nahi karega ki aaj wo tumhare saath khada nahi ho paaya, kya wo iss baat ke liye maaf kar payega khud ko ki uski taango ki wajah se aaj tum apni ijjat gawane se bachi ho, infact bachi kya ho,
challi hi gayi tumhari ijjat, nahi wo kabhi iss baat ko nahi bhul payega aur apne aap ko kosega, kyunki agar wo theek hota to kissi ka haath to dur kissi kin ajar bhi tumhe nahi chu paati, iss tarah wo tumhe apne pyar ke suraksha kawach mai rakhta, maana ab bhi pyar wohi hai par waqt badal gaya hai, ab armaan tumhara har waqt kawach bankar khada nahi ho sakta aur jab iss baat ka usse pata challega to wo aur jayda doob jayega, sach mai apne aap ko bhoj samjhega, kya aisa hona chahiye????"
riddhima thought and mumbled no, noo mai aisa kabhi nahi hone dungi, mai armaan ko kuch nahi bataungi, kabhi nahi, ye baat raaj hi rahegi mere dil mai, when night started falling riddhima got up and slowly-2 walked towards home, as soon as she entered in house, armaan quickly came and hugged her tightly from her waist, riddhima with a jerk pushed her body back, armaan looked her with surprise..
R: wo mai thak gayi hun, issliye.. (she goes in room, she didn't pick up aarish and straightway entered in bathroom and again cried and thought "tumhari riddhima ab maili ho gayi armaan", she kept on washing herself tightly but still feeling that stains are not washed from her body, she looked herself in mirror and all incidents flashed again, she took knife and cut her shoulder where that maskman touched her, she's out of senses but still wanted to get rid from this worst feeling, she knew she's doing wrong but then said "armaan ke aage kya sahi hai kya galat", she after sometime goes out from bathroom, armaan's waiting for her at dinner..)
R: wo maine khaa liya tha hospital mai, tumne kaha thana issliye…
A: tumhari eyes itni red kyu ho rahi hai riddhim, tumhara face bhi pale lag raha hai, whats the matter???
R: wo aaj hospital mai bahut kaam tha, thak gayi hun, aur ankh mai machar chala gaya tha to red ho gayi, bas…
A: dono aankho mai?? (riddhima looked other side) batao kya hua?? Kyu royi itna jayda???
R: (triued hard to fight her tears back and turned to get water for armaan) I promise mai nahi royi armaan, sachi machar gir gaye the aankh mai..
A: pata nahi kyu yakeen nahi ho raha mujhe???
R: to mat karo yakeen tumhari marji..(she turned towards room and then realized that how can she sleep with armaan and aarish, she thought and then took file and goes to other room)
A: riddhima tum iss room mai kyu aayi??
R: wo actually mujhe assignment banani hai, bahut daer ho jayegi, tum rishu ko sula do aur khud bhi so jao, mai aa jaungi jaise hi kaam complete hoga..
A: nahi mai bhi tumhare saath rahunga…
R: armaan please jidd mat karo, rishu bhi nahi soyega, aur tumhe bhi thakawat ho rahi hogi…
A: acha thodi daer to baithne do mujhe… (riddhima didn't say anything, armaan came next to her and holds her hand, riddhima made some excuse and detangled herself and engrossed herself in file or better say was lost in thoughts)
Like this week passed, riddhima started coming late at night, in hospital she kept her close in her cabin, she's not taking critical cases as that basement case left a deep mark of insecurity, fear and pain on her heart, she's not able to concentrate on anything, she doesn't touch aarish and armaan for she feels that she'll make them impure too, she comes early in hospital and leaves lately at night, armaan's confused as she's normal in talking so he's not getting where the problem was…
On 8th day when riddhima again came late around 2, she's surprised to see armaan waiting for her, he said dinner's ready, riddhima said that she had it in hospital, but armaan holds her hand tightly and made her settle on dining table, and started feeding her, riddhima didn't fuss and opened her mouth immediately, while eating she again had tears, armaan holds her face and cleared her tears, asked her what happened,
she shaked her head, armaan pulled her in hug tightly and caressed her, though her mind's saying to get detangle from him, not to impure him but she stayed in his arms, for she's feeling much much better that too without saying anything to him, it's as if he'd taken all her pain, he kises her on forehead, on shoulder, on neck with warmth and riddhima for the first time didn't feel any kind of hate in her heart for herself, for her body, as if she again became pure with his touch..
Armaan took her in room and asked her to change and before she could again move out with file, armaan pulled her file and asked her to lay on bed with finger on lips, riddhima silently did whatever he said, armaan put aarish next to riddhima, very close so that he's touching her, riddhima felt that he's warm, armaan told her that he's having fever may be coz of your absence,
try to give him warmth of your body, riddhima hesitated, so arman himself opened her gown chain and put aarish more close to her, aarish in sleep moved his lil palm around her neck and shifted his head on her bossom, riddhima hugged him tightly and carefully, again tears rolled down from her eyes and armaan holds her hand and
A: riddhima mujhe pata hai tum kissi wajah se bahut pareshan ho last week se, shayad kissi ne kuch kaha hai ya kuch kiya hai, jiski wajah se tum humse duriyan bana rahi ho, par riddhima aisa karne se pehle tum ek baar socho kya jinn logo ki wajah se tum humse duriyan bana rahi ho unhe koi farak padta hai, unhe tumhare aansuon se bhi farak nahi padta,
par hum dono ki tumhi jindagi ho aur jab bhi dur hoti ho tum hamari jindagi tham jaati hai, kissi ko koi farak nahi padega bas hume chodkar, tum duniya ke kaaran hume khud se dur kar deti ho, kyu aisa karke ye jatati ho ki duniya tumhari apni hai aur hum paraye, kyunki agar aisa na hota tum kabhi hume apnea apse yun dur na karti..
R: aisa nahi hai armaan, please aisa sochkar tum mujhe apne aap se dur mat karo..(she cried) kabhi kabhi khud hi samajh nahi aata ki kiss tarah react karna chahiye situation par aur anjaane mai galtiyan hoti rehti hai…
A: riddhima chahe kuch bhi ho, kuch bhi, bas hamesha itna yaad rakhna ki har mod par tumhare saath 2 log honge jo hamesha ye kehte milenge ki hum tumse bahutt pyar karte hai, itna ki khud bhi nahi jaante, jinhe bas tumhare saath se matlab hai chahe situation koi bhi ho…
Riddhima nodded and felt very relaxed, she felt as if his each word's taking her out from her bad memory as if he knew everything and was saying on that situation only, she again thought how can he love me so much that without knowing everything then also he always put an end to all her questions, to all her fears, to all her insecurities and atlast only love remains in her heart…
To be continued…
Will reply to your comments after 2/3 parts..
Take care
Love
Ankita…
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