Must Read!!!

A few Husband-wife jokes/ one-liners😉....

• The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing, there were 3 finalists: two men and one woman.
  For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!"
  The man said, "You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
  The agent said, "Then youre not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
  The second man was given the same instructions.
  He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I cant kill my wife."
  The agent said, "You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
  Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.
  She took the gun and went into the room. They heard shots, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
  "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
  MORAL: If you want the job done, give it to a woman.
  
  
• ** Two ladies were discussing what they should wear to the club dance.
  "We're supposed to wear something to match our husband's hair. So I'm going to wear black," said Mrs. Johnson.
  "Goodness", gasped her companion. "I don't think I'll go. My husband is bald."

• "When we married we planned to have 2 boys and 2 girls, to form our own mixed doubles. Now my husband is bored with tennis and mad about football. There are 11 boys in a soccer team and I'm worried."

• **Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

• **Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
  "Who are you working for now?" asked the first.
  "Same people," answered the other."My wife and four children."

• **First Soldier: "What made U go into the army?"
  Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?"
  First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace."
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

• A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

• A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

One-liners:😉

• ** They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

• ** It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

• ** A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
  A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
  A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

• ** Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
  It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

• * Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong

• Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. \

• **An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage.A pessimist is a married optimist.

Pria