I see there is a lot of discussion on the forum regarding Ridz-Shanky- Paddy conflict and their showdown.
Well, here are my tow cents on this parent-child relationship (being a parent I can relate to this more than a lot of u can):
All kids rebel against their parents at one point or another- most do it as teenagers and by the time they are in their 20s, they have settled down and have independent thinking from their parents. It's when you have a controlling parent like Shashank, kids take a while to separate their identity from their parents. Such was the case with Ridz. She was daddy's perfect and obedient daughter for the longest time till NOW! Basically, through this Armaan fiasco, not only is Ridz going through a lot of emotional guilt, remorse and insanity, she is also finally 'growing up' and finding an identity for herself....it just so happens that she identifies herself as Armaan's soulmate and that's what's causing all these issues and conflicts.
That's why it's important not to try and control our kid's lives or destinies....let them free at the appropriate time, love them unconditionally and not try to force your own values and thoughts on them!
Basically, Shashank has been an over controlling dad- maybe more with Ridz than Anjali as Ridz was probably more vulnerable or more insecure due to her adoption (i am just guessing)
Signs of an over controlling parent are: the highlighted ones apply to this story:
source: http://www.controllingparents.com/
1. Overscrutinized your eating, appearance, hobbies, or social life |
2. Pressured you with perfectionistic expectations or unattainable standards |
3. Forbade you from questioning or disagreeing with them |
4. Discouraged you from expressing anger, fear or sadness around them |
5. Violated your privacy |
6. Intimidated, manipulated or overpowered you |
7. Discouraged your efforts to experiment and think for yourself |
8. Gave you no say in household rules and responsibilities |
9. Seemed unaware of the pain they caused you or others |
10. Seemed unwilling to admit they were wrong |
Signs that even as an adult you have been under too much control:
Feel perfectionistic, driven, or rarely satisfied |
2. Feel intimidated or easily angered around controlling people |
3. Lose yourself in relationships by automatically putting others' needs first |
4. Find it hard to relax, laugh or be spontaneous |
5. Feel as if you are under scrutiny even when no one else is around |
6. Have an eating disorder or addictive behaviors |
7. Have trouble finding a spiritual belief that feels right |
8. Expect others to hurt, judge, or take advantage of you |
9. Have harsh "inner critics" |
10. Have trouble asserting yourself or feeling proud of your accomplishments |
Cricket
Anupamaa
