One Shot: The Catfight
"Haan Mayank, yeah, I'll be right there." She waited for his reply, "By God, it hasn't been an hour, I've only been in here for five minutes! Okay, wait for me outside. I'm coming yaar!" she put her phone back into her purse and adjusted her ponytail.
Arre wah Nupur Bhushan, you're looking fabulous! She clapped her hands together and started to head out.
"You better stay away from him Gunjan," she stopped dead on her tracks. Gunjan? She pressed her ear against the wall.
"Samrat is only mine! There's no room for you, so stay away…or else."
The voice sounded familiar. Nupur followed the muffled sounds, which lead to the cafeteria. She saw her sister, Gunjan Bhushan, and Sheena, Samrat's witch of a girlfriend. Something didn't look right; Sheena was fuming while Gunjan was crying.
"I'm sorry Sheena, I didn't mean to… he was just so upset," Gunjan began to say.
"Shut up!" Sheena snapped, "stay away Gunjan, I'm warning you. Or else-"
"Or else what?" Nupur's sudden arrival seemed to startle Gunjan and Sheena.
"Di, it's nothing, let's go." Gunjan grabbed Nupur's arm and began walking out the door.
"Wait Gunjan." Nupur broke free from her grip, "what's going on? What's she saying to you?"
Sheena smirked, "Why're you asking her? Let me tell you. Your sister can't seem to accept that Samrat is my boyfriend. I'm telling her to stay away, or I'm afraid I'll have to tell him that his so called ex-best friend is in love with him."
Nupur stared in disbelief at the woman who ruined her sister's life. "Then tell him. It's high time that dhakkan realizes he loves Gunjan too." She said a matter of factly.
Sheena didn't seem to digest those words too well. "We'll see about that. You and me, tomorrow, same time, same place. May the best woman win. You in?"
Nupur smiled intently, "Oh, I am so in. It's been a while since I've kicked some ass."
Next day, same time, same place.
Benji: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Excel's most awaited catfight! On one side, we have the great, the beautiful, the breathtaking, bubbly, powerful NUPUR BHUSHAN!!
The crowd went wild at the sound of Nupur's name.
"Yaar Benji, why does Nupur have such a long introduction?" Uday whispered into his ear.
"Yaar, she's paying me 50 bucks for this!" he whispered back. "And on the other side, we have the biggest Kameena…I mean, the… *can't think of a word* SHEENA!"
The crowd began to boo.
Nupur: I'm positive! Now, where's my other boxing glove?
Mayank: Right here.
Mayank handed Nupur the boxing gloves and a bottle of water. "Drink this," he said, "it'll give you strength."
Nupur thanked Mayank. Just then, he grabbed her hand.
"Nupur," he began to say, while cupping her face. "I just want you to know that I love you… and that Broccoli Baba is always with you… now go and kick some chaddi butt!"
Nupur quickly kissed Mayank on the cheek before heading into the ring.
Benji: The winner of this fight will get the one and only Samrat! Will it be Sheena… or Nupur, who is fighting for her sister's love?
Crowd: NUPUR!! BOO SHEENA!
Benji: Are you ready?
Nupur and Sheena nodded.
Benji: Okay, when I say go, you both start fighting! One, two, three-
From the crowd, someone threw a chappal at Sheena's head.
Benji: BINU! You have to WAIT! Geez.
"Sorry!" Binu cried out from the crowd, "I was just excited."
Benji: Okay, on your marks…get ready, set GO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheena and Nupur ran towards one another and Sheena started air punching. Nupur laughed and rolled her eyes. What an amateur. She thought to herself. I'll show her what a real punch is. Nupur rolled up her fists and blew a good one right at her eye.
Right away, Sheena fell to the ground and started crying.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me! Oye Sheena ki bachi, UT!" Nupur stood there, staring down at the injured Sheena.
Sheena grabbed Nupur's leg and pulled her down to the ground. She climbed on top of her and started pulling her hair. "Hahahhahaahahahah!!!!" she started laughing like a mad woman.
"OYE!!! OUCH!" Nupur screamed, "LET GO!"
Sheena pulled and pulled. Nupur didn't know what to do so she bit Sheena's arm as hard as she could.
"OUCH!!!!!!" Sheena recoiled and started blowing her arm. "OMG it's bleeding! YOU BIT-"
Announcement: Sheena, watch your language! 3 weeks of detention for you!
Sheena: BUT-
Announcement: 4 weeks!
Sheena: WAIT-
Announcement: 1 year!
Sheena screamed in frustration. She turned to Nupur who wore a huge smile that spread across her face.
She grabbed a jug of water, which was on one of the tables and poured it all over Nupur's head.
"No you didn't!" Nupur gasped, not believing what had just happened.
Sheena grinned, "Oh, I just did!"
Nupur felt steam coming out of her ears. "I didn't want to do this." She said. "Mimi, Preksha, Sonali… bring out the weapons."
Sheena: Weapons? What weapons? Oh-
Everyone watched as a bulldozer parked itself inside the cafeteria. Two girls jumped out, one holding a vacuum cleaner (Mimi) and the other carrying a danda (Preksha.) The other one (Sonali) waved from inside the bulldozer.
Mimi: We're here Nupur!
Nupur exchanged an approving nod between Preksha, Mimi, and Sonali.
Preksha and Mimi looked at each other and smiled, "let's get this show on the road."
They sprinted towards Sheena (imagine bulls running towards a person in red) and tackled her to the ground. Preksha began hitting Sheena with her danda, while Mimi used her vacuum to blow off her wig (which turned out to not be a wig at all.)
Out of nowhere, an old woman dressed as a Ninja leaped forward and started karate kicking Sheena. "Don't hit me you old hag!"
"Old fag? Why I otta-"
Sheena: I SAID OLD HAG! Ouch! You're crazy!
Old woman: LAZY? I'll show you lazy!
She jumped onto Sheena's back, "Sonali! START THE DOZER!"
Finally. Sonali thought, I thought they'd never ask. She started her bulldozer and ran over Sheena, who, by then, was tied to a chair.
Old woman: HAHAHAH!! Muskura kameena, ab daat ke bina bhi tu muskara!
The old woman high fived Mimi, Preksha, Sonali, and Nupur.
Nupur: Thank you Ninja fupi, Mimi, Preksha, and Sonali! We need more people like you to make this world a kameena free place.
Preksha: Anytime Nupur.
And with that, they all flew out the window.
Nupur walked over to Sheena, who was quivering. "Give up Samrat."
Sheena glared (though Nupur couldn't tell because both her eyes were swelled up) "NEVER!"
Nupur frowned. "Okay then, don't say I didn't warn you. BRING ON THE SUMO WRESTLER UNCLE!"
In came a sumo wrestler who was as wide as a blimp. He grunted.
"Her," Nupur pointed at Sheena.
The sumo wrestler nodded and jumped on Sheena, flattening her like a pancake.
He grunted again (because that's all he could do) before heading out.
"Give him up Sheena." Nupur said.
"NEVER!!!" squeaked Sheena.
Nupur sighed. "Okay, you're choice. C'mon out Raju, Sham, and Babu bhai!"
Don music starts playing in the background as the Hera Phire gang enters Excel.
Raju and Sham summersault into the fighting zone while Babu bhai pulls out his whistle and starts blowing it in Sheena's ear.
Sheena: STOP IT!!! The whistle…it BURNS my ears!!!!
Everyone: GIVE HIM UP!
Sheena: FINE! You can HAVE him! Take Samrat, take ANYTHING! Just leave me alone!
Sheena started to cry as she ran out the door in her flashy, eco-friendly chaddis, which were on the verge of ripping off.
Benji walked over to Nupur and declared her the winner of Excel's first catfight.
Gunjan: Oh di!!
She came running up to Nupur, tears escaping her eyes, "thank you!"
Nupur: Arre naahin! Run along now, Samrat is waiting for you!
She winked at her sister and watched her and Samrat run off into the sunset, holding hands.
She sighed. "What a perfect couple."
"A perfect couple indeed." She heard Mayank walk up behind her. He wrapped his arms around Nupur. "Now, why don't we go spend some quality time with each other."
They both smiled and started into each other's eyes… but little did they know that someone very EVIL was watching them.
To be continued (possibly 😆..if ya'll want me to)
