pls help meeeeeeeeeeee

hello to all......to all ppl who will be kind enough to get thru my problem, I wud first request u pls read d another post by me 'I beg all..pls suggest me...'. den read dis. and pls friends, advice me....I think I wud do suicide out of my mental disturbance.....plsssssssssssssssssssssss help me..............

Some additional thinfs I sud tell u all,

though his family is not poor, bt financially not stronger dan mine also. but how much less, I dont hv idea. they r 10 sibilings where 6 bro and 4 sis. he is d younger where as we r just 2 sibilings. may be it can be posible as d property is being divided within dis 10 persons and their family, d portion becoming smaller dan us too. again, his family background is well. we hv been engaged since 4 months. within dis period, I never hv seen any misery to give us any gift any thing toward me or my family. bt surely not similar financial backgrnd dan us.

as for his job, he is doing job in a satisfactory good private bank. as I told we hv 10 yrs age gap (he is 34, me 24), as per his age, he is not in so well-establish post as he shoud have been now. he has been doing jod since 5yrs dere. and he again stopped his MBA too. as far I can guess him, his demand is nt so high, like ambition is not so too. he is nt so eager to do hard work too. I mean he doesnt try how to perform well so he cud have promotion in office. hejust do his job and return home, dats it. bt as I said, Im just d opposite. I have been growing seeins glorious environment for me, I wud also want dat my children also wud get dat by his father's achivment too. I also do job after marriage. bt I donno knw wat will he do......he saysme dat if I wud be beside him, ha can so everything, I just nt let him alone...bt I'm confused......he is alreaddy so aged, hw far I can change his habit!

I m nt saying I need money and money, he sud nw seek for bribe just to be a walthy person. I just want him to be hard working person and bcome more responsible and serious for his future family.

I asked for u all gyus suggesion, as at one-side, I can feel dat dis man wud really make me happy, shower his love for me dan any body else in dis world if I give him love too. it wud be wrong if I say, nothing of his activity ya talk doesnt touch my heart at all....ya, it does...den he cud also change also for me. once he also did cry over ph when I got harsh on him. and dere r many small things which xpressed his love for me also. One thing make me think dat how cud a man of his age get soooo weak earlier!!! I usually dont talk wid him so sweetly, or say any thing lovingly. Bt he alws bhave so lovingly to me….whether its his patience ya love!!

whenever I asked him bout MBA, he alws try to aviod d study part, and make visible to me dat he is not keen to study nw even he understands dat it is important for his career. he den tells me just 2 make me stop dat after marrige he wud start MBA. so by seeing hissuch inattentive attitude, I feel in future I may get so disturbed on him, dat never could resopect ya adore him deeply...bt when I think practically, I get frustated. y he is so? y he is nt so serious toward his education, career! JUST XCATLY MY OPPOSITE....

I cant decide wat I should do....so I beg u all gyus help.....pls suggest ur view....I need ur advice badlyyyyyy my friends....

See maam...

we can't change our beliefs so easily.
if u don't like him now. then don't try to like him.

if we can make u to like him, then any other time, u may come back at the same thoughts.

earlier i saw the last post, especially the last lines.
"how I'd let him toch me'fall for him after seeing his such laziness and lie!!!! I beg u alllllllllllllllll pls after a gud deal of thought suggest me...I cant live wid such a mental torchur.....how can I try to love him???????"

Marriages are not easy. there comes a lots of problems and difficulties.
At that time, these earlier thoughts will create more problems.

I think, don't marry now, take a break. be friends for a time. then after some time, think abt it again, based on the new behaviour.
or just leave it.

what i see, u r trying to force urself to love him.
and when u see, that he loves u so much, u think it will be good for u. u may become happy. but it doesnt work this way. u shud feel a love, liking for him too.
otherwise, he won't keep loving u for a long time.
==========

hmmm, that suicide talk is not good. that is not a solution. and it will give pain to everyone. and u won't have time to correct that mistake too.

okie, here is one more thought.

if he says he loves u. then tell him to wait. ask for some time to think abt it.
take some time, weeks, or month. And think abt it.
do u miss him, did u change ur mind. did u like some of his good qualities, that u can dismiss negative one easily ?

and after that time.
Ask ur heart.
Be honest with him. and tell him abt ur feelings.
and talk abt this with family member, bro/sis or someone very close.
who know u best.

it is good that u r so honest with urself now.
and trying to understand the problems before entering into marriage.

yeah, i can't give u good advice, bcoz i don't know u and him too.
i wish, these problems get solved soon.
and don't worry.
even if this won't work out.
u will get many other answers, which will help u in ur life and in other relationship later.

if you don't like him, don't force yourself. Some people can't change. Saying it and doing it are 2 different things. Try to relax. I think he might find it hard working and doing his MBA at the same time because for some people it is hard especially with distractions. Don't expect too many things from him, accept him the way he is. For his age, i think he's plain lazy. It is sort of a huge age gap between the 2 of you. Don't worry too much, it will stress you out more. Try to think positive and do what you have to do. In some cases, opposites attract only with a few similarities but I think not in most unless if one partner decides to give a few sacrifices. I basically think you can stay friends with him but move on with your life and probably find someone better.

I think you should ask yourself:

Am I attracted to the person?
Do I admire him/his qualities?
Can I see/accept my children with his qualities?

If you answer no, you should not really go along with the relationship.

Also, you said that he loves you a lot. I think the question should be, do you love and respect this person? Do you see yourself respecting/loving this person? And not cause he does it for you. But because you want it.

I hope the questions are of some help.

Again, if this one isn't it. there are other men out there.
Someone you are attracted to, respect and can click with.

Persy

Please see this