Dark Desire
His dial of his Breitling showed it was almost 8 o'clock. Just as he grabbed his boss jacket and stepped out of his office. The security guard on the floor saluted him as he entered the elevator. It was already pitch dark outside. He had meant to leave early but as usual he got caught up in his work. His cell rang and he answered it in a hush tone. "Masi…what's wrong. I am on my way home."
Teary voice of masi hit his ear, "Jai beta…Bani has not come home yet. As always she is not carrying her cell phone."
Jai sighed, "Don't worry masi. I think I know where she may be. I will pick her up."
His black BMW was waiting outside the lobby. Raghu his driver opened the door as he approached. "Raghu first drive me to the cemetery." Jai instructed as he got into the car. Tearing off his tie and undoing the button on the neck, sat threw his head back and closed his eyes. He had no idea how to deal with Bani at times like this…her moods of depression worried him, especially now when she was pregnant again. But her gynaecologist Dr Mehta assured him there was nothing to worry about, as long Bani's health remained good. This was one time of the year, which he did not look forward to…diwali…there were many too memories to live through.
Raghu stopped the car and opened the door for Jai. Tears sprang in Raghu's eyes as he watched Jai walk towards the Krishna and Atharva's memorial. It had become regular place to come looking for Mrs Walia…he felt sorry for them that they had to live with the bitter memory of their loss.
Jai watched Bani sat leaning into the pillar holding burnt out sparklers in her hands. Tears had dried up on her cheek. He crouched down by her and held her hands, "Bani…lets go home." Bani moved her head and stared at him blankly, her voice seemed to come from far, "I was careful…I made sure they held the sparklers carefully…you should have seen them laugh…they loved Diwali."
Pressing his lips to her cold hands, he spoke softly, "I know Bani…you are a good mother. Come lets go home…Ganga is waiting for you…remember you promised her you would light the phatakas for her. Let's go home dear."
He pulled her up on her feet and then took off his jacket and wrapped it around her and led her gently back to the car. In the car he gently rubbed her arms to warm her up and talked about the plans for the evening, hoping to bring her out of her mood. Bani did not hear single word spoken by Jai, she was in her own world where at the moment only Krishna and Atharva existed.
Masi breathed a sigh of relief as Jai led Bani into the house. She fussed around Bani, chiding her gently for leaving the house without telling any one. Instructing Jai to take Bani up, masi headed off to the kitchen to instruct Rano to take some tea up to Jai's room.
Ganga sprang up from the bed, where she had been sitting colouring in her book, "Mamma…you came back. Papa…you are late. Remember you promised we would do phatakas tonight."
Jai kissed Ganga's cheek and smiled, "We will beta. Just let me get mamma to bed, she needs to rest."
Ganga moved her books and colours away, "Can I help papa?" Jai nodded, "Yes why don't you pile those pillows up for me." Jai propped Bani up against pillows on the bed and then gave her prescribed medicines. Rano arrived bearing tea and some snacks and set it on the side table.
"Jiju why don't you get changed, I will make sure di eats something. Masi wants you downstairs with Ganga to do pooja before we have dinner." Rano poured tea out and then picked up the plate of sandwiches and sat on the bed. Rano picked up one and held it at Bani's mouth, "Come di…eat. You have hardly eaten anything. You know it's no good to starve yourself." And resting her hand on Bani's slightly protruding stomach she said, "Remember you have to eat for the baby too."
Bani stared down at Rano's hand on her stomach and then smiling to herself, she bit into the sandwich and slowly chewed. "Rano…my baby…my little Krishna is coming back to me."
Rano patted Bani's stomach, her voice going all mellow, "yes di…our little Krishna is coming back. Now promise me you will keep happy di. You don't want Krishna to see you sad now do you?"
Bani munched away at the sandwiches and when done, she let Rano help her change into her fresh clothes. Settling Bani back into bed, Rano turned on the lamp. She kissed Bani on the cheek, "Why don't you rest for now di. Jiju will come and bring you down for dinner." Bani nodded her head and snuggled into the duvet. With food in her stomach, she was feeling sleepy. In a few moments she was fast asleep.
An hour later when Jai entered their bedroom he found Bani was fast asleep. He sat down on the bed and gently caressed her hair. She looked so serene in her sleep. Her thick lashes fanned over her closed eyes, her lips fallen into a natural smile and both her hands rested over her stomach. This baby meant so much to him…all his other children had been born during turmoil in their lives…Krishna and Atharva being snatched away at birth when he had Bani put in mental institution and then Ganga…he didn't even know of her existence…for five years he lived not knowing he had a daughter. It was by chance he found them…destiny must have written that they are meant to be together, because he found her in Meerut raising their daughter, supporting them by running the small dhaba. If his driver hadn't stopped at the dhaba to buy some water, he would never have known Bani and his daughter existed in the world.
A soft knock on the door disturbed his thoughts. He found masi looking disturbed. "What's wrong masi?"
Masi gave a watery smile, "Meera…she just phoned. She sounded rather disturbed, but I told her you were not home." Jai gave masi a reassuring smile, "don't worry masi. I will handle her."
Jai picked up the phone in his study and dialled Meera.
"What's the matter Meera?" he asked crisply.
"I miss you Jai." Meera's teary voice answered back.
Jai spat out more forcefully than he meant, he knew he should be careful with her, "Meera, stop it. I have told you before…I don't feel the same about you. I am sorry but I love Bani. I have always loved her and will always love her."
He heard her sobbing and then she stammered, "I want to die…why did you send me away from you…I hate you." Jai listened to her without saying anything until he heard a click as Meera cut the call. Immediately he dialled the office of the doctor who was treating Meera. "Dr Sinha, this is Jai Walia."
"Happy Diwali Mr Walia. How can I help you?" Dr Sinha asked in a pleasant voice.
"Meera…I just talked to her…" Jai then related the whole conversation to the doctor.
"Please Dr Sinha, can you make sure someone keeps an eye on her. She could harm herself."
"Don't worry Mr Walia, I will personally ask head nurse to check on her right now and then take it from there. Good night Mr Walia."
Jai sank slowly on the plush sofa in the study. He didn't bother to put on the light, instead he covered his face with both of his hands. Meera's word bothered him, he had never given any reason for Meera to feel this way about him. As his best friend Mohan's sister, he had just afforded her same friendship just as he did his friend. She had been invited to parties at his house or dinner's with Mohan just out of courtesy, but it had shocked him when he found out Meera harboured other feelings for him. Since then he had tried to stay away from her but it had led to disaster and strained relations with Mohan. Meera had stalked him and then tried slashing her wrists. Mohan blamed Jai for Meera's mental status. Why couldn't Jai who had thrown Bani out, get divorced and marry Meera?
But Jai had been firm…he was not going to marry Meera out of pity and he would never be able to love her. It did not matter if Bani not in his life, he still hadn't forgotten her or stopped loving her.
After her attempt to run Jai down, Jai had persuaded Mohan to seek medical help for Meera, making him understand, Meera did not love him, if she did she would not have tried to kill him.
The study door opened and Ganga peeked in, seeing Jai she ran to him. "Papa could you sleep with me for a while. I am scared." Ganga asked, her lips trembled and she clutched her teddy bear close to her as she stood before Jai. Jai picked her up and hugged her, "of course baby. You didn't disturb mama did you?"
Ganga shook her head, her curls brushing his cheek, "No. Mama is fast asleep. Papa can I sleep in your bed, just for a little while," she asked, her eyes glittering with hope.
Jai kissed her soft as petal cheek, "Yes, but you have to be quiet, no waking up mommy, she need to sleep. Ganga flung her arms around Jai, "I luv you papa."
Jai carefully laid Ganga next to him and then putting his finger on his lips, he picked up his pjs and went to the bathroom to change. When he returned, Ganga was snuggled up to Bani, her tiny hand clutching Bani's nightdress. He stared at them, so different, Ganga did not have Bani's look, she had inherited his look and somewhat his personality too. But there were traces of Bani sometimes to be seen in the way she behaved. Jai slid down on his side of the bed and pulled the covers up. He stretched out his arm above the head of Ganga and rested on Bani's shoulder, immediately he felt her hand move up and grasp his, a smile forming on his face, she still reached out to get comfort from him.
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His eyes opened and shut, but his ears alerted him to someone crying. Jai opened both his eyes and shifted to the side a little and turned. His eyes encountered empty space where Bani was sleeping. Sitting up he breathed a little rapidly as he waited for his eyes to adjust to darkness in the room. Few moments later he saw her huddled in a chair by the window, the curtain billowing slightly around her. Springing out of the bed he reached her quickly. He knelt down in front of her, rubbing his thumbs at running tears.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked in whisper. Only her sobs met his question. Lifting her gently off the chair he cradled her sitting on the floor and rocking her. "Why won't you tell me what is wrong? Talk to me Bani. Are you not happy?"
He found her arms tightening around him in response. Whispered words of endearments hovered around Bani as she cried. She did not know how to tell him, she was scared of losing her baby, scared of losing him, scared of her whole life crumbling again. She hated this house…a house that had never brought happiness in their life.
Walking back into it few months ago had implanted the fear in her again. Nothing much had changed in the house. Maasi and the rest of the family were still the same, except Jigyasa did not leave with him any more. Everything was same and that had filled her with uneasiness. And then she had seen Meera, noticed how Meera looked at Jai, how she clung to his side, how Meera's eyes cast hateful look at her and Ganga. And when she learnt Meera had tried to kill herself because of Jai…her fear wormed itself into black hole from which she found hard to come out. It brought back memories of when Pia had tried to stake a claim on him. He loved her so much; he never got tried of saying it to her or shows it to her, yet she could not erase that fear in her.
They still sat holding each other when her crying had subsided. His leg felt numb and then shifted slightly, in the process disturbing her. Bani gazed up, her eyes encountering his. A smile lit corners of Jai's mouth. "Shall we go back to bed?" he asked softly.
Bani raised her hand and fingered his lips. "I am scared…Jai."
He held her fingers, "Why Bani? What are scared of?"
Her breathing became ragged and she closed her eyes, her voice a mere whisper, "I hate this house." She looked up at Jai, fear lined her soft brown eyes, her frame trembling. "I…I am scared Jai…scared everything will fall apart."
A tear rolled down his face and he hugged her tight, his hands rubbing her shivering frame. He was stumped that she hated his home. He had never even thought that she would consider her home a threat to their happiness. He was at a loss…where would she want to live if not here? He buried his face in her hair, "I promise to keep you and children safe Bani…no one will dare to hurt you again, I swear Bani…no one will dare. We will go away from here…go anywhere you want…anywhere that will make you happy."
"Mt Abu…my home…lets go there…all of us go there." Bani muttered into his chest, her warm breath seeping beneath the shirt into his skin.
Jai lifted his head and raised her chin to gaze into her eyes, eyes shining with hope. Jai brushed his lips across her eyes, he felt a little sense of relief. If going away would make her happy, he was willing to do it. It would be a little inconvenient for him, but he could adjust…he would have some sense of peace knowing she was happy.
Scooping her up in his arms, he walked up to the bed and put her down. He picked up Ganga and took her to her bedroom and tucked her in.
He slipped into bed beside her and slipped his arms around her. "Let's talk in the morning Bani. I will stay at home and we will work it out. Try and sleep now."
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Masi protested when Jai announced he was taking Bani to Mt Abu. "Munna…what about her doctor and hospital. With the baby coming, should you stay here…what if something goes wrong."
Jai scowled at masi, "Nothing will go wrong masi. Bani wants to go to Mt Abu and I am taking her. If you want to come along with us…then join us." He turned to Rano and Raashi, "You can come along too, if you want. I am sure Aditya and Ranveer will have no problem."
Rano's face perked up, "I think it's a good idea to take didi to Mt Abu. I will make her happy." Rano placed her hand over Bani and patted it, "Just think di, we can go and boat on the lake…go and see the sunset. Eat out at our favourite place."
Bani gave a thoughtful look at Rano, then smiled and looked at Jai.
Ganga who had been listening to everyone, pouted and asked Jai, "What about me papa? Do I have to stay here? I want to go to."
Picking her up and hugging her he said, "You too…you think your mother would leave you here. We are all going."
Two days later, after making all the necessary arrangements, the whole family flew down to Udaipur and then traveled to Mt Abu in cars. Jai sat back in the car holding Ganga who had fallen asleep, the excitement of the trip having worn her down. He watched Bani's face as she stared out of the window at passing scenery outside. Now and then her face would break out into a soft smile. Already he could feel a change in her. He wrapped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "Happy?" he asked.
Bani gazed up at him and nodded, "Thank you." Jai kissed her forehead, "You don't have to thank me. I just want you to be happy."
Masi stopped Jai and Bani from entering into house until she did her welcoming arti. "After all you are entering this home for the first time too." Tears shimmered in Bani's eyes as she stepped into the house. Even though the house had been rebuilt, it still stood in the same grounds where she had grown up. The whole house had been decorated to reflect the warm colours of Rajasthan, even the furniture had been custom made to blend in. There was none of the sophistication of Walia house here.
Jai had hired cook and maids to help out. After a short rest, the family gathered to sit down to their first meal in the house.
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Jai frowned at the cell phone. The call from Dr Sinha bothered him. Meera had managed to run away from the mental asylum. And she had not returned to Mohan as they thought. He picked up and called home. "Tony, did Meera come to the house?" he asked.
"No sir. Do you want me to call you if she comes?"
"Yes Tony and take this number, its Dr Sinha. You must call him immediately."
"Yes sir."
"And Tony do not tell her where we are. It's important."
"Yes sir…don't worry sir."
Jai stood up and walked up to the window and stared out. Bani and Rano were sitting out in the garden whilst Ganga played with other children. Just three days here had made so much difference to Bani and he didn't want anything to go wrong now. Even masi had come to him, telling him she was glad he had brought Bani here.
The call made him restless and for the rest of the day he couldn't concentrate, finally gave up working and sat brooding in the study.
When Bani came looking for him, she found Jai sitting in dark in the study. She came forward hesitatingly. She knew something was on his mind, it was something that she had often found him doing when he was upset or something was on his mind.
Jai started when Bani laid her hand on his shoulder. He stared at her for a moment and then smiled at her. Extending his hand at her, he brought her to sit down next to him. "Tired?" he asked. Bani shook her head, "No. I haven't seen you all day, so came to see if you were hungry or not. Dinner is ready."
Jai took hold of her hand, "I should have kept eye on time…come lets have dinner. And then I think I will take Ganga out for ride."
Bani stood up and tugged at Jai's shirtsleeve, "Jai…is everything ok?"
Jai carefully made his voice is light, "Yes Bani. Everything is fine."
Bani tracing the fine lines at his temples, "Are you sure? You look tired."
Jai pulled her in a hug and whispered, "Everything is fine Bani. Stop worrying."
Over dinner Bani watched Jai, even though he chatted with everyone, she noticed he wasn't as relaxed as usual. May be working away from Mumbai was being cumbersome for him she thought. She picked at her food as she had lost her appetite.
"Bani you are not eating. Why?" Jai's voice broke into her thought.
She smiled, "Just not so hungry. I had a snack earlier."
He gazed at her intently, realizing he probably had disturbed her.
After dinner, Jai went out with Ganga, depending on the mood, some days they would go on their bikes, walking or in a car, especially if he wanted to give Ganga a treat. Bani watched them drive off in a car. Rano who had been busy in the kitchen, came and stood by Bani giving a thoughtful look. "What's up di?"
"Nothing…just Jai seems a bit tired."
"Well he was cooped up in the study all day today." Rano stated.
"Yes…"
Rano putting her arm around Bani, "Come lets go and take a stroll in the garden."
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Meera got off the train looking tired. It had been a long ride in the cramped train, but then she had taken the first train out of Mumbai. She went up to one of the cab and asked the driver to take her to Mt Abu. "Madam will cost you 2000 rupees."
Meera pulled out notes and gave it to the driver, who promptly started the car. With a sigh of relief, Meera leaned back and closed her eyes. She needed badly to sleep, she felt really tired.
Three hours later, the driver called out, "Madam we are here. Where do you want to go?"
Meera looked out in the dark. "Take me to a hotel."
Driver nodded and drove to the nearest hotel and dropped her. Meera got herself a room and quickly fell asleep on the bed.
Next day she woke up and saw bright sun filling her room. She stretched and then sat up and smiled. She felt good and relaxed, yes after escaping from the asylum, she finally felt safe. A good hot bath and food was next on her agenda.
Later Meera pulled out the piece of paper she had folded and put carefully in her bag. It had been easy to sneak into Jai's PA office when the PA had stepped out for lunch. A quick run through the files and the diary on the desk and she had found out where Jai had gone, the address and telephone number too.
Meera went down to the reception desk and showed them the address. The girl quickly pulled sketched a rough area map of the address. Meera thanked the girl and then took the directions and set off.
From where she was standing Meera could clearly see people going in and out of the house. She watched as Bani came out and cut some stems of roses. Meera shook with rage as she stared at Bani's extended stomach…she was pregnant again with Jai's child. How could Jai do this? How could Jai sleep with the woman he didn't love? Meera dug her nails into palm of her hand, hard enough to cause red weals in the skin. She rubbed at her eyes as tears welled up…she was going to do something about her…she wasn't going to walk away from Jai again.
Back in her hotel room, Meera lay on the bed, her eyes staring at the picture of Jai. "You my darling are going to be mine," she said softly. "You don't love her…I know you don't. And she doesn't love you…she would never have left you if she did. Now why did you go and make her pregnant again…I can't bear to think she is carrying your child inside her Jai…it's not fair, it should have been mine." Meera laughed softly as she held the small photo of Jai to her chest. "Don't worry darling…soon…soon we will be together."
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Jai pulled out the car from the driveway. He was just going to pick up couple of things that Bani wanted.
Meera watched as Jai drove away from the house. She stepped out from her hiding place and walked towards the house. Taking a quick look around, Meera turned the door and opened it. She stepped in and looked at the empty room. With soft steps she walked in, listening for sounds. Bani must be somewhere in the house. She had seen Rano go out with Ganga and Jai had just left…leaving Bani alone.
The soft sound of singing made her pause outside close door of a room. With her heart drumming wildly, Meera opened the door and looked in. She stared at Bani's back facing her, she was sorting clothes out in wardrobe. Meera walked stealthily towards Bani, a hand behind her back gripping a small knife.
Bani turned and gasped when she saw Meera coming towards her with a smile plastered on her face. "Meera…" Bani called out.
"Bani…how are you?" Meera asked, stopping a foot away from Bani.
"Why…why…are…you…here?" Bani stammered.
Meera jerked her head, "Why do you think I am here Bani? I came to see Jai." She turned the blade over in her hand.
Bani gulped, fear gripped her. There was something odd the way Meera was looking at her. "Jai is not…here."
Meera chuckled, "I know…I saw him leave."
Bani took a step back, cold tremor ran down her back. There was something definitely wrong with Meera. Meera took a step forward, her voice hard, 'I have to do something before he comes…you see Bani…you stole something that was mine."
Bani's eyes stared blankly at Meera, "I stole…"
Meera now bringing the hand with knife up, 'Yes you did. Jai…you know he belongs to me."
"Jai…"
"Yes…Jai…you see he loves me." Meera said, turning the blade over.
Bani fearing for Jai, "Please don't hurt him Meera. I will go away. Just don't hurt him."
Meera laughed loud, "Oh I am not going to hurt Jai…." And giving a venomous gaze at Bani, 'you will be going away…for good."
Bani stood stupefied, watching Meera and the knife trying to comprehend what Meera meant.
Meera pulled Bani, "Lets go…I don't want to do this here." The force with which Meera pulled, made Bani stumbled behind Meera. The scream that rose in Bani's died in her throat, fear now taking over her mind. Meera pulled Bani out the door and next instance found her arm was being twisted sharply. She gasped dropping the arm clutching Bani and stared with shock in Jai's angry eyes.
"Jai…you are not supposed to be here." Meera screamed.
Jai slapped her hard, shaking with rage, his eyes blazing with rage, "What do you mean? This is my home. And what were you doing with Bani?"
Meera looked away and stammered, "Nothing…honest…we were just talking."
Jai grabbed at the hand with knife and brought it up to Meera's face, "What is this? Why do you have a knife in your hand?"
Meera dropped the knife, "Nothing. I was just helping Bani…we were going…"
Jai kicked the knife away, "Stop lying Meera. You were going to hurt her. You know you have gone too far…I will make sure you are locked up for good."
Meera tried jerking her hand free, her eyes now staring with hatred at Jai, "You will never get rid of me. I got out from that place you had me locked up…nothing will keep me away from you."
Jai slapped her and hissed in her face, "You know I should strangle the life out of you. You don't deserve any pity from me. Believe me Meera…this time you will be locked for life."
"Bani get in the house." Jai commanded.
Jai pulled his cell phone out and dialled police. Within minute's couple of car arrived from the local police station. Jai explained the situation to the officer and Meera was whisked away quickly.
Taking a deep breath, Jai went inside. He found Bani on the bed in their bedroom, sobbing.
He ran his hand through his hair cursing himself for being so lax about Meera. Jai pulled Bani into his arms and rocked her, "Stop crying Bani. She is gone. I will make sure she never comes anywhere near you. Hush…I am so sorry she tried to hurt her."
Bani burrowed her face in the crook of his arm, "No…she didn't want to hurt me…she wanted you. She said she…she loves you."
"Bani…" he gently eased her face up and looked deeply into her eyes, "Meera does not love me…she has sickness…do you understand…she is sick. And…understand this…I have never loved her."
Caressing her face, Jai rested his cheek on hers, "Believe me Bani…I love only you…only you. This time I will make sure Meera is sent away for good."
"Jai…"
"hmm…"
Bani sighed and then locking eyes with him asked, "Is that the reason you were worried? You knew she had left the asylum."
Jai confessed, "Yes, the doctor phoned. But I told Tony if she came home, not to say where we were."
"But she did find out."
"Hey, stop worrying. I will make sure she never gets out." Jai pressed his lips on her forehead. "I don't want you worrying. It's not good for you or the baby. We came here for you Bani and the baby. I want you to be happy."
Bani clutched at his hand and spoke agitatedly, "Promise me…promise you will stay with me. I can't lose you."
Jai squeezed her hand and with tears misting his eyes, spoke emotionally, "I promise Bani."
THE END
Health and Fitness
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